Lost Mines, Lost Labs, and Lost Hope (RobJFalcon's Campaign)

I jump up assess the situation.  Initiative 12  I cast thunderwave on the highest numper of targets possible. Dc save or dmg 6

The thunder should wake everyone up ba shift. Move to dustfinger. 

Porkchop sandwiches 12 

Initiative to get the hell out of here! 8

Absinthe: 3

Dirk reacts quickly to the accidental rousing by the hobgoblins, after being cracked in the head, and casts suggestion on his would-be captor. WIS Save: 20 
His eyes gloss over for just a second until he shakes his head and snaps out of it. "Wait, there's no tea party!"

Az Emberi is also knocked on the head but jumps up and blasts #1 and 2 with a Thunderwave. CON Saves: 3 5 
They are both blasted back 10 feet and are shaken by the blow. Everyone else is thrust into consciousness with the exception of Dustfinger who is still out.

 The two hobgoblins pushed backward by Az Emberi form up and charge him in unison. The one Dirk cast suggestion on swings at him. The one that tied up Fjolnir takes advantage of his prone state.
vs. Az: Attack: 20 Damage: 9
vs. Az: Attack: 20 Damage: 5
vs. Dirk: Attack: 21 Damage: 4
vs. Fjolnir: Attack: 16 Damage: 6
(Brutal) Extra Martial Advantage damage: 7 
Az Emebri is blitzed and ends up in bad shape. Dirk takes another hit, Fjolnir as well.

Round 1: Hobgoblin Ambush
20- Dirk 9 HP
18- Sildar (Surprised / Prone)
12- Az Emberi 5 HP (Bardic Inspiration)
12- Hymir (Surprised / Prone)
10- Dustfinger 0 HP (Unconscious / Stable)
5- Fjolnir (Surprised / Prone / Restrained with rope)
4- Hobgoblins AC 18
1) 5/11 HP
2) 5/11 HP
3) 11/11
4) 11/11
3- Absinthe (Surprised / Prone / Restrained with rope)

Dirk is up!

I cast Faerie Fire in the 20ft cube space that seems to hit Hobgobs 1-3 and Absinthe.  Mantle of inspiration on Az Emberi, Dustfinger and my sexy self.  I immediately move to the south of Dustfinger.

I don't know what these ****s want, but I want one of them for myself.   A price will be payed for this insolence.  You have no idea who we are, but you are about to find out what we are capable of!

Dirk throws a magical glitter bomb that encases 3 hobgoblins and Fjolnir in its area. (It looks to me that he would be in the cube, not Absinthe, let me know if you think that's wrong) DEX Saves: 2 4 19

Sildar springs to action and grabs his unsheathed sword, two-handing it at the now glittering form of the hobgoblin that realizes this is no tea party.
Attack: 23 Damage: 5
Attack: 18 Damage: 5
The first strike clangs off its shield, knocking it out of the way for a return swing that cuts deep into its side. It still stands but its hurting.

Round 2: Hobgoblin Ambush
20- Dirk 9 HP
18- Sildar
12- Az Emberi 5 HP (Bardic Inspiration)
12- Hymir (Prone)
10- Dustfinger 0 HP (Unconscious / Stable)
5- Fjolnir (Prone / Restrained with rope)
4- Hobgoblins AC 18
1) 5/11 HP 
2) 5/11 HP (Sparkly)
3) 5/11 HP (Sparkly)
4) 11/11 HP
3- Absinthe (Prone / Restrained with rope)

Fjolnir must make a DEX Save or be glitter bombed

Az Emberi, Dirk and Dustfinger have 5 temp HP (Unfortunately this does not wake Dustfinger. I have added it to your sheet.)

Az Emberi may use his reaction to move up to his speed without provoking opportunity attacks before his turn.

Az Emberi, Hymir, Dustfinger (If Az or Hymir wakes you up) and Fjolnir are up!

Having rested on the trail South, Fjolnir was recovered slightly (24), he rolls over from his bedroll (Faerie Fire save 13) to the axe along side and tries to cut the restraints 22.

  Tossing the rope aside and jumping to his feet he barks, "Your mother is much better with tying knots, ya know..." and whispers a hunters' mark on the 4th Hobgoblin.

Free move to east of Absinthe

Ba untie him

Thunderwave down to hit thise two again 14

Assumong theyre dead or pushed i use my movement to go just east of dustfinger.

I stand up

we have safe passage from the hobgoblin king who sent you, and while you think of your answer Hobgoblin seeking Missle.

I cast magic missle lvl 2 at H1 3 H1 2 H4 2 H4 2 

 Which I shoot in the opposite direction to show how much they change direction to hit thier mark with full proof accuracy 

Az Emberi utilizes Dirk's mantley inspired movement to break away from the hobgoblins and get close to Absinthe. He unties him while the big man is still trying to get to his feet and then casts Thunderwave at them again. Saves: 12 7 The thunderous wave blasts them back 10 feet. One of them is folded in half by the force of the blow and dies before he hits the ground. The other lands on his head and the inertia of his body wrings his own neck.

Hymir shoots some magic hobgoblin seeking missiles in the opposite direction that arc around him to hit his intended targets in an impressive display. Two missiles hit each hobgoblin at the same time. The blast knocks #3 off his feet. He does not get back up. #4 is in pain and it shows.

Dustfinger is still un-awake.

Fjolnir Manages to get himself free and get on his feet while making fun of the last hobgoblin's mother, literally adding insult to injury.

The hobgoblin watches his whole party die at once, then retorts at Hymir, "I know you're lying, King Grol gives no one safe passage! And he's a bugbear, you dolt! " He steps back from Fjolnir (Disengage action) and runs into the woods, wincing through the pain. "My mother didn't- Oh, I get it. **** you!"

 
 The woods will count as difficult terrain, and also give half cover from ranged attacks. The hobgoblin is just on the edge of the map.

Round 2: Hobgoblin Ambush
20- Dirk 9 HP
18- Sildar
12- Az Emberi 5 HP (Bardic Inspiration)
12- Hymir
10- Dustfinger 0 HP (Unconscious / Stable)
5- Fjolnir (Concentrating on Hunter's Mark)
4- Hobgoblins AC 18
1) Dead
2) Dead
3) Dead
4) 4/11 HP (Hunter's Mark)
3- Absinthe (Prone)

Absinthe is up! Then Dirk.

Absinthe jumps to his feet and charges towards the fleeing hobgoblin. 

"Everyone you know is dead and looking forward to meeting you! Or something like that!" 

Yklwa Attack: 24 Damage: 10

Punch to spine Attack: 19 Damage: 3

Absinthe jumps up and runs into the forest after the fleeing insultee, (You'd have to spend a ki the get into melee, but I took the liberty since you're about to get it back, and end this fight.) He sinks his trusty yklwa into its back and the hobgoblin drops instantly.

Combat is over, I'll hold the XP until you would gain a level for it.

Dustfinger is still out, but everyone else will be full health after a long rest.

did that mother ****er call me a dolt, I was about to use.... the big one

I look at a small bag in my pack labeled the big one

Guys, come on.  I said save one.  We need to send a message to these ****s from now on.  Fjolnir, can you help me dismember these foolish husks?

I cut up the bodies (Fjolnir willing) and arrange them, propping up the torsos to form a square.  Putting genitals in theh mouths, arms inside the former square like flowers in a vase and legs just laying in place in front of each.  I try to string their garments together and bind the torsos a little more securely before fashioning  a battle standard with whatever I can find. A piece of cloth or metal, and etch or draw in blood our coat of arms onto it.

Fjolnir looks around and thinks about the corpses.  "Eh... why not, these fellas aren't going to mind much..." he says, while aiding Dirk in his arrangement. "You know, the crows will probably fling these bones all over, the remains wont be recognizable to passers by..."

While... taking the bodies apart... You find one hobgoblin carries a crudely drawn sketch of a man with bushy hair, a big mustache, and a few scales, with “25 gold pieces for this one” and a symbol of a black spider drawn beneath it.

"I feel like killing them all is it's own message. Eventually they will stop sending people or start running in fear at the site of us... Or we just keep killing them until they just aren't.  I'm fine with all of the above" Absinthe scratches his head for a moment. "If you keep putting people in these gay sex/suicide situations, people are going to start thinking they can catch gay."

"Shit- that Gundren or his brother?"  Fjolnir stops a moment..."Did they get this bounty before we took out Grol and the buyer...?"

Dustfinger remains optimistically unconscious.

I through a healing word at dustfinger 4

I don't take part in the mutilation but as they're already dead I din't really care that its happening.