Fjolnir stands still and shouts, "Yew ****in shovel headed knuckle dragger..." He sights up the south-most Orc and looses an arrow "... lay down and fertilize the turf with yer rotting guts!"
This post has potentially manipulated dice roll results.
Absinthe pummels orc #1 with his goliath fury. Yklwa: Attack: 18 Damage: 7 Kick in the nuts attempt 2: Attack: 19 Damage: 5 Attempt 3 with ki: Attack: 23 Damage: 3 The ord looks rough from the yklwa attack, but continues blocking gonad strikes, much to Absinthe's frustration.
Fjolnir has more luck with his racial slur than his attack. He picks up his arrow that he just dropped and hopes no one noticed that failed attempt at punctuating what would have been a nice kill.
Sildar, some of his wounds closing from magical healing, swings at orc #3: Attack: 9 Damage: 11 Attack: 15 Damage: 2 His second strike connects, but only enough to mildly bruise its arm.
Dustfinger is not quite grasping this whole ranged power attack thing yet, maybe with time, or a different approach, or a different power word, yeah, that will help!
Hymir has personally had enough missing his targets. He shouts, Orcus Exterminus! and lets three magical darts fly out of his hands into the sky that curve downward onto two different orcs. Orc 1: 4 Orc 3: 2 Orc 3: 2 Both of his targets die on impact.
Orc #4, now seeing that his companions are all dead, and none of his "prey" is down, screams a battle cry and swings at Sildar knowing it will probably be the last thing he does. Attack: 16 Damage: 4 Sildar angles himself to the orc's swing and the greataxe ricochets off of his chain armor.
Round 3: Orcs! 23- Dirk 20- Az Emberi (Concentrating- Spike Growth) 19- Absinthe 16- Fjolnir 13- Sildar 16/27 12- Dustfinger 9- Hymir (Bardic Inspiration) 9- Orcs 1) Dead 3) Dead 4) Taken 4 damage
Dirk runs up and attacks! He hits the orc and he starts to look rough.
Az Emberi finishes him off with a stone. He kills him. Dead. Deceased. Un-alive. He wouldn't "voom" if you put 4,000 volts through him. He's bleeding demised. Passed on. This orc is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet his maker. This is a late orc. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If it wasn't just killed it'd be pushing up the daisies. It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-ORC!!
Combat is over.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
I grab the corpse and start shaking it violently. Wake up! You aren't dead you piece of shit! I start moving it's jaw as if it was speaking. I'm sorry for attacking you guys, I'm a really dopey shit face and I'll be sure to tell everyone I meet how horribly dangerous you guys are. I take a deep breath and just briefly look at Az Emberi. There's always next time. Who wants to dismember corpses and toss the pieces all over the place!? I get started regardless of who joins in. I make sure to carve our emblem in every skull.
After Dirk completes his ritualistic desecration of enemy corpses, and no one stops or joins him, just kind of watch, You continue South to Phandalin. It doesn't take you much longer, and as expected you arrive mid-afternoon. Everything is still open and you still have hours of daylight.
Dustfinger takes a bit of his proceeds to the Sleeping Giant for a flagon of piss, a leathery patch of kippered beef, and to send inquiry to his contact for any updates on the whereabouts of his missing relic, and for finding another item of interest. Wonders briefly at taking over the criminal element left in town.
Fjolnir sets off to do the same, sell off his excess stock, hit the suppliers for arrows and to price a breastplate, and to hit the tavern to eat a stew and drink a beer the size of his head.
Dirk goes to the provisioner alone, when no one else is.
I ask the clerk. I need medicine that induces vomiting. You know, in case someone ingests something poisonous. Preferably something tasty or flavorless. I need a permenant dye, glitter, a lubricant and laxitives. Do you have female deer pheromones? Also, show me your wares
I would next be looking for someone to make an armband with our emblem on it as well as visit the Smith to see his wares
Once you get to Barthen's provisions, Sildar bows and says, "I did not think we'd all make it, but thanks to our relentless assault and lockdown, we actually made fairly quick work of Venomfang. Anyway, I owe you some money for clearing out Cragmaw. I have it at the Town Hall, come see me when you can. All of you, preferably." He heads off in that direction.
You enter Barthen's Provisions (the general store basically) and sell him all your extra weapons. He gives you 115 gp, bringing your party total to 1153 gp, 1223 sp, 700 cp.
(Removed the five spears, four longswords, three morningstars, two greatswords, and fine quarterstaff (10gp) from your inventory. The things left in your inventory include: Myrna's Necklace because you don't know the value, the statuette that casts augury because Fjolnir and Hymir have not used it, the pearl and the diamonds because they are and can be used as spell reagents. If you want to sell the diamonds or the statuette, with or without using it, let me know, or if you want to use up your questions right now so you can sell it you may do so. It is worth 100 gp.)
Splitting up the party monies, you EACH add to your character sheets: 192 gp, 203 sp, 116 cp and the party loot now has 1 gp, 5 sp, 4cp. You may convert it any way you want, but if you would like to make most of it gold, you can each just add 213 gp, 4 sp, 6 cp.
Barthen's Provisions carries any item on the standard equipment list that costs less than 25 gp. If anyone wants weapons or armor, those are sold by the Lionshield Coster. For brevity, if anyone wants to buy ANY standard equipment, excluding potions, you may do so. Please add the items to your inventory and subtract the monies.
Some of you then split up.
Az Emberi, Fjolnir, Absinthe and Hymir go to the Stonehill Inn to have a drink, but Hymir spends his time in a room copying spells. (I'll let you do 6 hours of spell copying before you pass out. Keep in mind you can only copy spells you can cast, meaning only arcane and only of level 2 and below... meaning you can only copy Misty Step out of the scrolls. You probably don't need 6 hours for that.)
Dustfinger passes the Inn and continues to the Sleeping Giant. Dustfinger:
The clientele all stop and stare at you as you enter. They keep their gaze on you as you order a drink in the quiet tavern. The surly dwarf barmaid pours it and slides it to you. They all slowly go back to their conversation after you mention getting word to your contact though. The dwarf says, "Name's Grista. Owner, operator. I can have one of these flunkies get word to yer man but it's gonna take a while. Few days 'fore we hear back maybe. Haven't really seen you around here, you should go talk to Halia at the Miner's Exchange. Tell her you want in, that I sent ya. You seem the type. (To save time, I assume you're going to ask something. If you weren't she gives up the info anyway.) After some clowns got rid of Glasstaff she swooped in and made us all Zhents. It feels good to be more than just thugs, ya know?"
Dirk stays in the provisioner's shop after everyone leaves. Dirk:
Mr. Barthen looks to one of his helpers. "Go look for that stuff in the back, please." He looks back at you. "I know I have lubricant in grease form, and dye for clothing, but I don't think I have laxatives or vomit inducing medicine, we aren't an apothecary. I don't know what glitter is and I'm not in the business of deer hunting, so I don't have any parts, I'm honestly not sure what the pheromone is."
I was having a bit of fun but there's no such thing as glitter here, and you'd be hard pressed to find someone in this world with enough medical knowledge to create a laxative or ipecac.
There, I think I covered all of your requests, feel free to RP at the Tavern, and follow up with what I gave you. When you are ready to turn in for the night you can long rest and we'll hit it in the morning.
Dustfinger smiles and winks at Grista. He slides 50 gold over to her, with a word and a toast before he departs to the Exchange. "You've been a gracious host. My blessings for a continuation of your good fortune. May the Sleeping Giant sleep some more."
Fjolnir picks up 2 bundles of arrows, and a breastplate; he sizes the buckles and dons it while heading to the Inn. He wordlessly walks up to the bench, steps up and orders a pint of the blackest bitter they have, and waddles somberly over to the table where Az and Absinthe are awkwardly perched- and hops up onto a stool. He quickly tosses back over half of the black foamy liquid... stops... drinks the rest... and abruptly slams the empty tankard to the wobbly table, "******* dragon, man! Do you believe that shit?!".
"You, uh, you know how much ya gave me, right? Oh, I get it." She calls one of the patrons over, whispers something and he rushes out the door. "He has a horse. Two days and we'll have an answer from your contact."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
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Stand, move ten feet and crossbow orc 3 Attack: 19 Damage: 9
Rainbow....... Mooo....
I move until i'm 60 ft away from Sidlar
Ba sidlar healing word 5
Throw rock at orc 3 14 dmg. 6
Dirk Does some damage, Az does some healing, Absinthe and Fjolnir are up.
Round 3: Orcs!
23- Dirk
20- Az Emberi (Concentrating- Spike Growth)
19- Absinthe
16- Fjolnir
13- Sildar 16/27
12- Dustfinger
9- Hymir (Bardic Inspiration)
9- Orcs
1) Taken 5 damage
3) Taken 10 damage (looks hurt)
4) Taken 4 damage
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
Fjolnir stands still and shouts, "Yew ****in shovel headed knuckle dragger..." He sights up the south-most Orc and looses an arrow "... lay down and fertilize the turf with yer rotting guts!"
Longbow 7 dmg 5
Dustfinger rushes forward thirty feet, and lets loose a blast of angry purple power at the orc giving his pal a hard time.
Orc #3 unless Sildar kills it before this action pops off, then Orc #1 instead.
EB Attack 7 Damage 6
Absinthe pummels orc #1 with his goliath fury. Yklwa: Attack: 18 Damage: 7 Kick in the nuts attempt 2: Attack: 19 Damage: 5 Attempt 3 with ki: Attack: 23 Damage: 3
The ord looks rough from the yklwa attack, but continues blocking gonad strikes, much to Absinthe's frustration.
Fjolnir has more luck with his racial slur than his attack. He picks up his arrow that he just dropped and hopes no one noticed that failed attempt at punctuating what would have been a nice kill.
Sildar, some of his wounds closing from magical healing, swings at orc #3: Attack: 9 Damage: 11 Attack: 15 Damage: 2
His second strike connects, but only enough to mildly bruise its arm.
Dustfinger is not quite grasping this whole ranged power attack thing yet, maybe with time, or a different approach, or a different power word, yeah, that will help!
Hymir has personally had enough missing his targets. He shouts, Orcus Exterminus! and lets three magical darts fly out of his hands into the sky that curve downward onto two different orcs.
Orc 1: 4
Orc 3: 2
Orc 3: 2
Both of his targets die on impact.
Orc #4, now seeing that his companions are all dead, and none of his "prey" is down, screams a battle cry and swings at Sildar knowing it will probably be the last thing he does. Attack: 16 Damage: 4
Sildar angles himself to the orc's swing and the greataxe ricochets off of his chain armor.
Round 3: Orcs!
23- Dirk
20- Az Emberi (Concentrating- Spike Growth)
19- Absinthe
16- Fjolnir
13- Sildar 16/27
12- Dustfinger
9- Hymir (Bardic Inspiration)
9- Orcs
1) Dead
3) Dead
4) Taken 4 damage
Dirk and Az Emberi are up.
Absinthe and Fjolnir can go too if they want.
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
Position myself close enough to throw my last rock.
7 dmg. 8
Attack: 14 Damage: 7 attempt to rend this last one unconscious attack with my rapier.
Rainbow....... Mooo....
Dirk runs up and attacks! He hits the orc and he starts to look rough.
Az Emberi finishes him off with a stone. He kills him. Dead. Deceased. Un-alive. He wouldn't "voom" if you put 4,000 volts through him. He's bleeding demised. Passed on. This orc is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet his maker. This is a late orc. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If it wasn't just killed it'd be pushing up the daisies. It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-ORC!!
Combat is over.
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
I grab the corpse and start shaking it violently. Wake up! You aren't dead you piece of shit! I start moving it's jaw as if it was speaking. I'm sorry for attacking you guys, I'm a really dopey shit face and I'll be sure to tell everyone I meet how horribly dangerous you guys are. I take a deep breath and just briefly look at Az Emberi. There's always next time. Who wants to dismember corpses and toss the pieces all over the place!? I get started regardless of who joins in. I make sure to carve our emblem in every skull.
Rainbow....... Mooo....
Fjolnir picks up a spent arrow or two, while cackling at Dirk acting as the orc puppeteer, and carving on it. "Infamous... is still famous..."
After Dirk completes his ritualistic desecration of enemy corpses, and no one stops or joins him, just kind of watch, You continue South to Phandalin. It doesn't take you much longer, and as expected you arrive mid-afternoon. Everything is still open and you still have hours of daylight.
For reference:
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
Liquidate excess stock and have a drink in the Tavern.
Dustfinger takes a bit of his proceeds to the Sleeping Giant for a flagon of piss, a leathery patch of kippered beef, and to send inquiry to his contact for any updates on the whereabouts of his missing relic, and for finding another item of interest. Wonders briefly at taking over the criminal element left in town.
Fjolnir sets off to do the same, sell off his excess stock, hit the suppliers for arrows and to price a breastplate, and to hit the tavern to eat a stew and drink a beer the size of his head.
Dirk goes to the provisioner alone, when no one else is.
I ask the clerk. I need medicine that induces vomiting. You know, in case someone ingests something poisonous. Preferably something tasty or flavorless. I need a permenant dye, glitter, a lubricant and laxitives. Do you have female deer pheromones? Also, show me your wares
I would next be looking for someone to make an armband with our emblem on it as well as visit the Smith to see his wares
Rainbow....... Mooo....
Once you get to Barthen's provisions, Sildar bows and says, "I did not think we'd all make it, but thanks to our relentless assault and lockdown, we actually made fairly quick work of Venomfang. Anyway, I owe you some money for clearing out Cragmaw. I have it at the Town Hall, come see me when you can. All of you, preferably." He heads off in that direction.
You enter Barthen's Provisions (the general store basically) and sell him all your extra weapons. He gives you 115 gp, bringing your party total to 1153 gp, 1223 sp, 700 cp.
(Removed the five spears, four longswords, three morningstars, two greatswords, and fine quarterstaff (10gp) from your inventory. The things left in your inventory include: Myrna's Necklace because you don't know the value, the statuette that casts augury because Fjolnir and Hymir have not used it, the pearl and the diamonds because they are and can be used as spell reagents. If you want to sell the diamonds or the statuette, with or without using it, let me know, or if you want to use up your questions right now so you can sell it you may do so. It is worth 100 gp.)
Splitting up the party monies, you EACH add to your character sheets: 192 gp, 203 sp, 116 cp and the party loot now has 1 gp, 5 sp, 4cp. You may convert it any way you want, but if you would like to make most of it gold, you can each just add 213 gp, 4 sp, 6 cp.
Barthen's Provisions carries any item on the standard equipment list that costs less than 25 gp. If anyone wants weapons or armor, those are sold by the Lionshield Coster. For brevity, if anyone wants to buy ANY standard equipment, excluding potions, you may do so. Please add the items to your inventory and subtract the monies.
Some of you then split up.
Az Emberi, Fjolnir, Absinthe and Hymir go to the Stonehill Inn to have a drink, but Hymir spends his time in a room copying spells. (I'll let you do 6 hours of spell copying before you pass out. Keep in mind you can only copy spells you can cast, meaning only arcane and only of level 2 and below... meaning you can only copy Misty Step out of the scrolls. You probably don't need 6 hours for that.)
Dustfinger passes the Inn and continues to the Sleeping Giant. Dustfinger:
The clientele all stop and stare at you as you enter. They keep their gaze on you as you order a drink in the quiet tavern. The surly dwarf barmaid pours it and slides it to you. They all slowly go back to their conversation after you mention getting word to your contact though. The dwarf says, "Name's Grista. Owner, operator. I can have one of these flunkies get word to yer man but it's gonna take a while. Few days 'fore we hear back maybe. Haven't really seen you around here, you should go talk to Halia at the Miner's Exchange. Tell her you want in, that I sent ya. You seem the type. (To save time, I assume you're going to ask something. If you weren't she gives up the info anyway.) After some clowns got rid of Glasstaff she swooped in and made us all Zhents. It feels good to be more than just thugs, ya know?"
Dirk stays in the provisioner's shop after everyone leaves. Dirk:
Mr. Barthen looks to one of his helpers. "Go look for that stuff in the back, please." He looks back at you. "I know I have lubricant in grease form, and dye for clothing, but I don't think I have laxatives or vomit inducing medicine, we aren't an apothecary. I don't know what glitter is and I'm not in the business of deer hunting, so I don't have any parts, I'm honestly not sure what the pheromone is."
I was having a bit of fun but there's no such thing as glitter here, and you'd be hard pressed to find someone in this world with enough medical knowledge to create a laxative or ipecac.
There, I think I covered all of your requests, feel free to RP at the Tavern, and follow up with what I gave you. When you are ready to turn in for the night you can long rest and we'll hit it in the morning.
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...
Dustfinger smiles and winks at Grista. He slides 50 gold over to her, with a word and a toast before he departs to the Exchange.
"You've been a gracious host. My blessings for a continuation of your good fortune. May the Sleeping Giant sleep some more."
Fjolnir picks up 2 bundles of arrows, and a breastplate; he sizes the buckles and dons it while heading to the Inn. He wordlessly walks up to the bench, steps up and orders a pint of the blackest bitter they have, and waddles somberly over to the table where Az and Absinthe are awkwardly perched- and hops up onto a stool. He quickly tosses back over half of the black foamy liquid... stops... drinks the rest... and abruptly slams the empty tankard to the wobbly table, "******* dragon, man! Do you believe that shit?!".
Dustfinger:
"You, uh, you know how much ya gave me, right? Oh, I get it." She calls one of the patrons over, whispers something and he rushes out the door. "He has a horse. Two days and we'll have an answer from your contact."
-We are all just one failed saving throw away from someone else's fantasy...