The Black Knight mumbles, or thinks, he's not sure which currently for his memories seem vague, "Ouch?" he thinks as, reading on the previous page that he was hit in the leg by a sword, he feels that while hopping away on his one good leg and kicking the other limbs out of the door, he may in fact just be dreaming all of this since he only had wee bit of health anyway, it felt almost like about what a 6 would feel like if you had such feelings. And that slice felt a little, 14ish I guess? So, he hopped, or dreamt that he hopped. Only time and the unfailing thoughts of that great DM in the sky would tell.

 As TBK's AC is 15 and that swing was on a 12 to-hit, the leg was unmolested. In this tunnel in the bowels of the earth you feel a deep rumble, almost as if the world itself is displeased at having to look up your AC for you, and maybe took a peek at your passive perception while it was there....

13

Greg :

12

 Greg, Burt and TBK

 Iradon Only :

I DID NOT READ IT! Hey, we should check out that rogue steam vent though. It's probably nothing. Burt marches right on outside.

Iradon will exit through the door when his wonderful, amazing, well dressed, useful mount friend with an good looking chain and locket around his neck, decides to go through. (Though sitting here having decided to read ahead like I was told to for SKT. But as SKT is a reading backwards task I had to read here. Unlike SKT which is explicitly "off the book", this is meant to follow slightly better in which case as we didn't set the trap off due to Iradon's lucky amazing catching skills, they shouldn't be on the other side of the door)

TBK blushes a little as he mumbles something about not really paying attention to that bit, but then rejoices loudly in only having lost two arms. And he continues to waddle out behind Burt with his most correctly acquired +1 Sword held tightly between his knees.

Burt glances back, then down at his own +1 sword between his knees.

So there is a gurgle along with the hiss, you know. And I guess we gotta check it out, if it wasn't important Dee'emm wouldn't put it in front of us. Plus we got nowhere else to go, even though it feels like time for a long rest. I know we are disappointing the creator with our failure to complete qwests, but I'm trying the best I can. Lets go try the hissgurgle, and do whatever we are supposed to. Maybe it's Jack?

By the way I notice, BeeK, you are waddling like Burt gets two days without company. Can I hold that legitimate sword for you? Can you stop me from taking it? Cause maybe someone could put it to use, someone who didn't slice off their own fake arm.

Greg will carefully look out into the hissgurgly landscape, now probably armed with a +1 longsword and toting wee ickle Ira.

Probably calls for a perception roll or something, though I'm likely to regret it with my luck 8

As you approach the door, there's another shhhhhh that even Ira can hear, then a distant voice calls "Mougra, that ******* steam valve is playing up again! Go down to the tunnel and fix it!". You hear a strange, falsetto reply, equally distant, reply "**** off! I'm lighting a campfire - I'll get to it in the morning!" to which the first voice responds "My mother was right about you, you're a taker! you're a good for nothing leech! You're just a big latrine trench that all my hopes and dreams were poured into!" to which the second responds "Yeah well your mother smells like a latrine trench." Then there are a few noises that sound like dudj  and biff; Perhaps the bash street kids are punching a softie for his lunch-money up there? 

Burt shakes his head while heading out, muttering gah, I hate people that just take stuff and do things with absolutely no regard for other people. 

Stumps agrees with Burt that people taking stuff is naff, so if it is a lunch-money-robbery he'll break it up. But more likely it is two bozos fighting over trivial matters; might as well go kill them and take their stuff. Telling Ira Hold on, but maybe slip off in licking range of the fight, Greg will try to sneak up on the action, hope to catch bozos by surprise (or surprize - is that one of them that some of y'all spell different?) 

I don't want to assume, but maybe between the punching and the hissing we would have advantage? I'll roll twice but separately, for the DM's convenience

sneaking up on bozos 20 and/or 17

Greg moves like a shadow in the night, silent and invisible, with Burt in tow and Iradon still freeloading. 

8

20

As you pass through the doorway you notice there's no steam valve. And also there's a humongous half ogre crouching behind the door. He waves sheepishly and say "hello..." But it sounds like he's very far away. He's a ventriloquist! What a twist!

That is an extremely clever trick Greg commends the h.o. Then he hits it with Beek's sword

Long sword with 2 hands: 20 if hit damage is 9

The  Black Knight waves his +1 sword between his knees at the ogre while replying to the team, "Steam valve? Seriously? Come on Burt, keep up... it's a STEAM VALVE. Plug that thing up!" He looks quickly over towards the Greg and adds, "Umm... hey buddy. I like you too, but let's not be grabbing the swords just quite yet. I've not known you quite that long. But hey, don't feel bad. It's a nice sword." Tbeek resigns to his own thoughts, feeling like perhaps a little too much has gone on this day.

Iradon will lick the ogre Attack: 20 Damage: 7. And is tempted to give up licking and spend all combats searching for loot. He seems to be more effective at it

The ogre seems a little hurt that you're all threatening him (though not actually hitting him). But not surprised. Also quite a bit more smug than you might expect. He seems content to wait for Burt to do something.

(wanting to hurt? Never! Iradon staying an intent to lick, it's a sign of affection)

Burt watches everyone else fan the half ogre with their swords, and steps forward and thrusts out his hand. Macklin's the name, being awesome is the game. That ventriloquy act was pretty snazzy. You should join us on our qwest to pay back some guy for some ham.

At the mention of ham, a look of unbridled joy plonks itself on his face, then disintegrates leaving only abject horror - he tries to cry out "NO WAIT THEY HAVE HAM!" but it's too late:

A Goblin drops out of the roof, screaming and swinging his scimitar down at : 2 (1 Burt / 2 TBK / 3 Iradon / 4 Greg)

Attack: 24 Damage: 13

Resigned to his fate as a hamless bully, the Ogre grabs Burts hand and tries to twist it around behind the bard's back.

Athletics 8 vs Str (Athletics) or Dex (Acrobatics) - your choice

(Jesus, lads - this is the worst bullying I've ever seen! what's with the rolls?)

Ath: 13

Burt twists the ogres hand back in front and shakes it firmly, staring him down. I said, you should join us. Why are you guys being jerks?

As the boss engages in more high-level talks with the o-r-*, Greg will try to remove the gobliny distraction, with violence.

Getting board of just writing "attack" so the following details are for my amusement. Ignore if you want.

Thrust and cut at the gobby midsection 18 if hit damage is 13

 (you think you're rolling bad, Nunberry. We can't do a thing. Still haven't completed a qwest yet, so I read)