Init: 22

"Muhahaha!" exclaims The Black Knight, as he jumps from behind a small pink child and pronounces, "I'm now through whining and hiding and wish to end cause deathly harm to you and your friends!" he adds while looking on questionably at the flying mole-type things to which he queries, "What god in nine hells created you flying mole-type thingies? I mean... you guys are not attractive... at all... We're doing you a favor really." And with that last bit, he lashes out at one of the nearest flying mole thingies with his quite honestly acquired +1 Longsword. (Schwing: 25 Damage: 12)

The schwing schwings true! This one is less spectacular in death, having not fed for a while. There's a faint pfffft as air escapes the slash.

Init: 6

On his turn (be that now if the above roll is before 6, or after their tun if not) Iradon will eldritch lick whatever one is alive and looks most threatening.

Lick: 16 Tongue Roughness: 6 

The two remaining stirges flap about a little less threateningly, one of them still smoking but hovering dangerously close to Greg. Ira's tongue spears it like a tree frog, and honestly they taste a lot better than they look, a little gamey but there's a richness to it, like liver without the grainyness. Anway, its up to Ira whether it just dies or he drags it into his mouth to chew on, completing the frog image in a manner that's entirely appropriate right now but that I reserve the right to refuse to let you do in future. One way or another though, S2 is gone.

One stirge remains. Does he flee? Does he grovel? Does he cry? No. It's not even a he, it's a strong independent lady stirge who will not be pushed around by these bastard bi(and uni)peds any more!

3 -> Greg!

Attack: 10 Damage: 6

It's confidence seems ill-placed, and now I regret not making that body a zombie. Roll to see which one of you kills it - initative be damned!

The Black Knight is intrigued by Ira's desire to snack on the creature as he pronounces to Ira, "Say... that does look tasty, perhaps I too shall have a snack!" He swings his sword around and then quickly stabs upward into the air attempting to shish kabob the little lady, but alas, pulls back nothing but air. To hide his embarrassment he swiftly adds, "One Shall Pass!?" and gives a snicker. (Poking With Sword: Attack: 15 Damage: Unable to parse dice roll.)

(my mistake before, I should not have swung twice, battleaxe not being light)

Swat! Greg swats with the flat of his axe, no mechanical difference but feels like the way to hit a mosquito thingy, lacking a can of Raid

Axe swat: 25 for swatty effect 10

Greg's axe cleaves through the Stirge just as his previous turn clove through the rules. It's two halves spiral to the floor gently, a testament to the aerodynamics of a creature that surely proves evolution is a bunch of bunk, but not all design is intelligent.

So with the Stirges dead, now it's just a cave -  promise the corpse isn't a zombie -  a cave I hasten to add which seems to have a single way in and out, the cave-mouth itself.

Burt places his foot on top of the corpse, raises his sword like Luke Skywalker in that one movie poster, and announces, quite theatrically, I claim this cave for Burt Macklin and the Heartbreakers!

Heartbreakers? Not Macklinators? And where is the "bloody treasure"? Surely the union head wasn't trying to deceive the rank and file in that meeting that you told me all the details of? Oh well, a cave is not nothing, better jam space than Iradon's garage. Greg unslings his bass (not the fish) and tries the cave for acoustics with the bassline from "Boris the Spider" (the most blood-sucky bass heavy song I could think of midsentence) 

Is it a nice cave for a base (not a bass (not the fish, the one pronounced like base))?

Maybe back to town, to turn some of these shinies into fungible currency before the next qwest?

Burt shakes his head. You're not ready to be a Macklinator. Maybe at level 3. But good point...eventually we may find some sort of treasure. Why not here? And so Burt looks for shinies: perception: 20

Iradon will snack on the tasteless stirge, seeing as the spell ends once the tongue returns. (I also can't imagine what it tasted like, due to being a vegetarian so not being able to relate to the flavour)

He then will investigate the body (5) it being the only bloody thing here, and it being a bloody treasure 

Iradon, you find little on the body, other than overalls. And it's not the kind of adventure where you can remove them - this isn't DnDBeyondThePale.

Burt, you find no shinies. You find nothing at all. It's almost as if this was some kind of cruel joke that was being played on the original intended recipients of the map.

Greg, the accoustics are ******* amazing. Roll a D100 and for gods sake don't get anything under 30.

Remember I don't have an amp, please oh please don't Pete Townsend me.

BK, you need to study up, we need a drummer

Music check 86

ok that's messed up, "not yet available" ?

If you can see the roll let me know please. but trying again here: 82

(If it happens again, just edit the post - add a space after the roll, usually helps)

The bass positively thunders in the cave, dust drifting down from the roof, the reverberations dislodging loose earth over cave's mouth. But it doesn't collapse or anything, why would you even think that it would...?

Iradon will leave mumbling telepathically "Bloody treasure. More like never any bloody treasure" 

The Black Sabbath Knight pulls out his candlesticks, easy boys... these are the silver candlesticks that came his way... let's not be twisting words here, and begins beating out a rhythm on the cave walls, "Oh, I'm ready mate, been a long time waiting to get the the band back together!"

Quote from Penguini >>

The Black Sabbath Knight pulls out his candlesticks, easy boys... these are the silver candlesticks that came his way... let's not be twisting words here, and begins beating out a rhythm on the cave walls, "Oh, I'm ready mate, been a long time waiting to get the the band back together!"

 

 Well, I tried warning but why listen to me, I'm only the hand that rocks the Newton's Cradle....

Roll a D100, see if your assault on the already weakens cave walls drops a mountain on your head. 

Burt, you must have an oboe or a shawm or some dynamite you can bring to the table?

Burt checks his character sheet and discovers he's carrying a lute.

How bout some guitar? He proceeds to shred some sick riffs: 18