The Exploits of Misfit Company

Note: Since it would be extremely tedious to roll for the individual actions of the tens of thousands of Orcs, I have instead placed them into a singular horde, who will attack when it's their turn in the initiative order. Also, since the common orc is so far below you that it would take a ridiculous amount of them to even present a medium challenge to this party, I'm largely ruling that they can be killed in one shot. That being said, if you decide to take that as an invitation to run right into the middle of the Orc hordes, you'll ******* die. You aren't so badass to where you can take on tens of thousands of Orcs yourself.

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

Zoe draws an arrow and shoots one of the Orcs with her bow.

Attack: 21 Damage: 26

She kills it. 

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

From the distance, you see large, flaming rocks come flying towards the city, some flying over the walls and into the city, starting fires, others smashing into the walls themselves, which are fortunately able to withstand the impact for now. You also spot siege towers, coming close to the castle walls.

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

Stella can do very little from here because she doesn't get sneak attack, but she shoots.

Attack: 14 Damage: 9

Kashasaurus lowers her head and scoops Obsidian up into her saddle. She gives him a nod and lurches forward, letting out a bellowing roar. She'll chew and thrash at any tasty morsels that come too close to the walls.

Bite Attack: 27 Damage: 23

Tail Attack: 19 Damage: 25

Knowing better than to jump right in the middle of a bunch of orcs, Yvan shoots off two javelins!

Attack: 26 Damage: 11 + 5 extra lightning damage!
Attack: 19 Damage: 7 + 5 extra lightning damage!

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

Vastra flicks her wrist and sends a Fireball into the middle of the orcs. 35

Tristan takes a shot with his bow

Attack: 15 Damage: 16

The half-elf pulls off the large magical handbanger from his back and takes a shot at one of the Orcs

Attack: 24 Damage: 29

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

Volleys of arrows come from the Orc archers. Many of them miss you, but many still hit. Everyone except the animal companions needs to make a DC15 Dex Save to take half of 23

Vastra:21
Rohan:18
Zoe:15
Tristan:22
Thornhill:19

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

Dex ST: 15

Dex: 15

Kashrex: 16

Dex Save(DC 15): 13.

Bixby ends up a near absolute pincushion of arrows, yet he fights on all the same. In shouting out a word of power over the cacophony,  both he and Vastra's wounds began to mend. Then from the palm of his magic gauntlet, twin bolts of fire are shot at the mechanism of approaching seige towers, hoping to at least stall out some.

Bonus Action: Cast (4th level)Healing Word and twinned cast it, restoring 15 hp to Bixby and Vastra.

Action: Cast (Cantrip)Explosive Round and Twinned Cast on an Orc Horde Seige Tower joints of two different towers(to disrupt them).
Attack: 27 Damage: 14 of Fire Damage on an Orc Horde Seige Tower("1).
Attack: 19 Damage: 12 of Fire Damage on an Orc Horde Seige Tower("2).

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

One of the siege towers catches on fire.

Sergeant Thornhill fires his crossbow at the attackers.

Attack: 9 Damage: 3

Attack: 14 Damage: 4

 Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

The Orcs begin charging with ladders and grappling hooks, attempting to climb up the wall. The defenders are able to push them off, for now. The siege towers continue pushing along.

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

Zoe fires her shortbow at one of the orcs.

Attack: 27 Damage: 38

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kasha(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

The catapults continue to fire at the walls of the city. One of the shots from the catapult does some damage to the section off the wall you're standing on. One of the catapults fires at Kashasaurus.

Attack: 14 Damage: 14

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kashasaurus(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

Dex Save: 7

Alys will mirror Vastra's wrist flick, calling down her own Fireball.

Damage: 34 Dex 16 ST

Finally pats out her own flames.

Kashasaurus, if she had the brains for it in Rex mode, would have dodged the catapult shot, but she was more animal than half elf right now, so Obsidian had to steer. But he swerved her right instead of left, so Kashasaurus got hit. It burned. If a cat could grimace, he did so as Kashasaurus's's head turned to look at him with a big green squinted eye.

Obsidian steered her towards some more tasty morsels.

Tail Attack: 18 Damage: 25
Chomp Attack: 28 Damage: 16

Stella fires another arrow into the horde.

Attack: 20 Damage: 10

Yvan picks off any orcs that make it near the walls with a few more javelins!

Attack: 11 Damage: 10 + 5 extra lightning damage!
Attack: 29 Damage: 12 + 8 extra lightning damage!

 Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kashasaurus(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

Vastra tosses a Fireball out towards the orcs. 21

Rohan takes another shot with his magical handbanger. 

Attack: 23 Damage: 22

Tristan takes a shot with his bow

Attack: 20 Damage: 10

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kashasaurus(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

The Orcs fire another volley as their siege towers continue on.

DC15 Dex Save to take half of 23

Vastra:16
Thornhill:16
Tristan:27
Zoe:22
Rohan:12

Zoe(23),OrcHorde(21),Rohan(18),Alys(17),Vastra(16),Stella(15),Kashasaurus(14),Yvan(12),Tristan(12),Obsidian(11),OrcHorde(11),Sergeant Thornhill(10),Hoodini(10),Bixby(9),OrcHorde(1)

Hoodini Helps!

Dex ST: 27

Dex: 5

(with advantage too... amazing.....)

Alys dex save: 13

Bixby Dex Save(DC 15): 24.

An almost literally half-dead Bixby abandon thoughts endurance in favor of converting potential into preparedness to bend the weave, and trusting his gauntlet once more for power...

Bonus Action: Convert 2nd level spell into 2 Sorcerery Points.

Action: Attempt to use Mizzium Apparatus to cast a (3rd level spell)Surf's Up.... Arcana(DC 18):27... and succeeds!

Seige Towers (and any Orcs int he path) caught in the wave take 18 bludgeoning damage. Dexterity Save(DC 15) to save for half and NOT be knocked Prone.

In a desperate grasping upon the magics, water explodes into being off to the sides, and threatens to at least come close into make a domino effect of falling seige towers it slams into along the way.