Pizazz's Ravenloft and Beyond

"Meepo have idea..." Meepo says as they are working. he starts having the corpses piled up on the ground together, instead of placed in the portable hole. Once all of them are in place he casts fireball on the pile, burning the flesh from the bones. "Meepo now have skeletons..." he says as the acrid smell of burning flesh scortches everyones noses, though Meepo does not seem to mind it at all.

Everyone stands back as the fireball creates a small bon fire. Not hot enough to turn the bones to dust....just hot enough to burn all the flesh away.  Soon enough, you're left with a big pile of scorched bones. Meepo figures there must be at least twenty bodies there.  Now that the fire has burned away the acrid, rotten flesh....they are not nearly so offensive. 

There seems to be limited desire to try Ulthan's cooked meats whilst this simultaneous rotting cooking is going on, but you each try them, and are impressed with the gamey but tasty fresh meat the large man has caught on his hunt. 

But, soon enough, Dart is hopping to return.  With the skeletons loaded into Meepo's hole, the group heads back to the area you emerged. Once again, Dart fiddles with something inside his jacket, keeping the view away from you.  A portal opens in mid-air and you all move through it, emerging once again into the underground cave. That tang of smoke in Sigil's air is detectable even down here.  Dart, unusually quiet and non-tour-operator like, leads you all back to the hunting room where you de-don your special vests.  He says, sorta half-hearted, "Well, I hope you all enjoyed your epic hunting experience with us today........and don't sue us....haha..uh....memories that you can keep forever. Now, if you'll follow me, and remember, if you'd like to come back, we offer a 20% off your next excursion coupon, right here!"  He hands Lionel a wooden token.  Moments later you find yourself back in the crowded Sigil market.

Mordekai was about to ask if there's a special discount/refund for saving the life of a tour guide, but seeing Dart's demeanour changed his mind. "Sue you? That was the most exciting guided tour I've ever been on! We'll be sure to recommend you to our friends." Just as well the group don't have any friends. "Should you need any assistance with any further problems with deadly creatures that aren't where they should be... or are where they shouldn't be... find Etain. If we're still in town, we'll be happy to help. For a fee, of course, but we're good at what we do."

     "I think that was enough adventure for one day," Ketch says grumpily, still sore from the whiplash inducing attack on himself earlier.  "I don't think it's all that late in the day but whatever we do next, we should perhaps choose something unlikely to require more healing."

"I agree. And it seems we do not need to visit that "Mortuary" anymore - one more thing out of the list. We had walked the cat too. Do you thing a visit to the Temple Street - and may be the Market ward too to arm Meepo's army - would be a light enough adventure even for the wounded?" Surprisingly calm Lionel's reaction to Ketch's wounds was a result of somewhat relaxing city environment. He knew that the place is crazy and dangerous (crazy dangerous, even), but one thing is to know, and the other - to really feel it. It felt like the big city where you can walk the (central) streets without expecting a knife in the back. Ketch already recovered from the worst, the ring had to heal the rest of the scratches. Lionel himself used the "campfire" as an opportunity to rest a bit (if we did not get the short rest there while cooking and eating, light should take care of the rest?) and let the wounds close. (HD: 6 + 11 +12)

"hrmpfh need kid portal place hrmpfh" Ulthan will ensure to ask the kid next time he's around.

The group has emerged onto the city streets, into the very center of the market ward where Etain had taken them to find the tour operator. Etain is sitting on a bench talking to a teen girl with green hair and dark skin. They seem to be holding hands...at least until they notice the group and then the girl gets up with a jump, and runs off. Etain watches her go, then...blushing...moves to the group.  "Well, how was the hunting tour? They're the best here, I'm sure you got a good trip out of it!  Where to next?" 

Ulthan mutters to the kid. 

Etain scratches his head, "Oh...portal place...right. You wanted to go to the portal place. Are you talking about the office of the Master of Portals by any chance?"  

Lionel mentions archery as well.  "Oooooh, right then ya mad lads, bows and arrows, and portals. Of course. Though hope yer not hopin to go talkin to Ramadan the wise directly. Fraid yer gunna find more bureaucracy there than information bout portals. It's more like...if ya got a portal, the portal registrars gotta know about it...and if ya keep it secret, ya end up in the dead-books, and if ya tell him bout it, ya gotta pay a monthly fee to keep usin it or it gets locked up with a portal lock. But...it's not like ya can go check the registry or nothin. That's not public info. Bout the only thing ya can find there is maybe a job as a portal hunter. Those cagey guys are really more of a who's who and intrigue type than real hunters though. You still want to go? As for weapons...pfa...in the great market...we got loads...that's this way...."

He takes you around the market and you find all the common weapons you can want. (Normal prices as per PH.)  If you want anything special, Etain can help, but it may require some hunting. 

(Lionel never mentioned archery, he wants to go the Temple Street to find Paladine Temple. He also does not understand Ulthan's obsession with visiting Nine Hells without any means to leave that place and was not going to search the entrance there. SPecifically for Lionel the next stop for the group (aside the rest) is the wizard's castle - to begin the quest of freeing the genie)

"hrmpfh no registry hrmpfh" he shrugs and seems slightly dejected scratching the cat's head. As the cat looks up he seems to get an idea "hrmpfh maybe portal hunter get portal detect maybe access hrmpfh" he looks at the sky "hrmpfh portal place go hrmpfh" he nods as he stands up apparently still determined to go.

Meepo is just humming, and maybe even skipping a bit, as they walk through the streets. If they make it to the weapon's market, he will happily pay for 20 shortbows, 20 shortsowrds, 20 braces of arrows, 20 shields, and 10 sets of scale mail armor (if DM will allow skeletons to wear scale mail...) This should come up to 1420 GP. He cannot afford the other 10 sets of scale mail yet, but someday...

All items are tossed into the heap of bones, ready to be equipped once Meepo gets to casting the spells needed later on.

The group has to wait for quite a while in a couple armor store, as rather open minded armorers fit ten skeletons with scale armor. The process is...unique, that's for sure. Regardless, when Meepo throws his hole onto a wall for the skeletons to walk in, they clink and clatter in their new gear as his newly outfitted skeleton army strides into their storage unit. 

(we'll have to make up some rules, I think, if you throw the hole on a wall, they can walk out, but if it's on the ground, they'll likely need to use their first action to climb out?) 

With Ketch looking almost more exhausted from the shopping trip than the brutal wounds in the forest, the group wanders back, stopping in the temple district at a temple of Paladine. It would seem he goes by other names in other languages and on other worlds, but this one god seems to be Paladine, and Lionel enters the holy space while some of the other members wait outside with Etain.  (let me know if you want to do anything particular here)

On the way back to the Inn, Etain also stops by the Registrar of Portals. This tower is crouched at a strange angle up against the very edge of the city. The city curls up dramatically at it's edges, so much so that when you turn around from your current spot, you can see all the way across the strip of city to the other edge. Standing on an angle as you are, the view is disorienting to say the least. Thick walls form a barrier from going past the tower, though you figure you could climb it if you wish.  Signs are posted though on the walls, in about 50 languages, in a couple of spots.  They read, "Danger! Attempting to scale this wall could result in falling into an infinite drop. You will die, starving to death while falling. Do not climb wall. Once beyond Sigil's border, spells will not function and flying does not work. Do not climb wall. You will die." 

Inside the portal of registrars is a sleepy little office on the ground floor with about six people sitting at desks working away, behind the main counter. There are a couple people waiting and a little place to pull a round tile from that has the number 57 on it. As Ulthan pulls it out another rolls out of a little box and takes it's place. 58.  A short wait later, he's called to the front counter. An older human lady, though with pointed ears, wearing horned rimmed glasses looks up at him.  "Yes? How can I help you?" 

If the armorer had stock, Mordekai would have thrown 500gp Meepo's way to pay for the other 10 sets of Scale Mail.  Mordekai shrugs, "It's not like I have anything better to spend my gold on just now..."

(And I figure it will help the DM keep track of combat a little easier!)

Lionel carried the holy symbol of Paladine with him since Borovia and hoped that would help to recognize the right Temple. His desire was both simple and complicated. Lionel did not seek guidance - the spark of divinity in him, that invisible "guardian angel" that have always been present somewhere at the back of his mind, his own passion - all of this was enough to grant him that few powers he possessed. But he wanted to honor the memory of the dead knight and came to ask about the god that Sir Thatcher devoted life to.

((He wants to know what the god is about and if there any particular things he asks of his followers. Also, to order a prayer, a ceremony - whatever is acceptable here - in memory of Sir Thatcher))

On the way back he was quiet and lost in his thoughts, and equally indifferent to the peculiar sign, the yet another queue, and the necessity to wait.

"hrmpfh portal hunter how work hrmpfh" depending on level of confusion
"hrmpfh what portal hunter job hrmpfh"
"hrmpfh how find portal where report portal hrmpfh"
"hrmpfh how make portal work hrmpfh"

The woman blinks up at Ulthan. She seems to eventually take the understanding that he's looking for a job and nods.  She pulls out a piece of paper from behind the counter. "Here's an application form to apply to be a portal hunter."  She glances him up and down disapprovingly, then shrugs and hands him the paper.

Quote from Xarboth >>

If the armorer had stock, Mordekai would have thrown 500gp Meepo's way to pay for the other 10 sets of Scale Mail.  Mordekai shrugs, "It's not like I have anything better to spend my gold on just now..."

      Ketch will buy them a bunch of ladders to assist with their climbing out of the hole.  Also about 5 shovels, 5 ropes, two (portable) battering rams, 5 poles, 5 miner's picks, 10 explorer's packs and 10 dungeoneer's packs, and various sacks, pouches, clothes, a few drums, a few lutes and other non-wind instruments...  All in all, he will shop for a while and grab a plethora of mundane items to outfit the skeletons with (or to just leave in the hole until the odd time they're needed.)  Ketch has no specific plan in mind for most of the items besides "perhaps one day" or "wouldn't it be amusing if" or "how eerie would it be if..."

     ((The idea of an army of skeletons marching on a town in the middle of the night, torches raised...  Or dancing into town at noon playing (badly I assume) various musical instruments...))  I'm knocking off 600 gold which should cover the various and sundry...

     In the Temple District Ketch will keep an eye out for a temple devoted to Gruumsh.  If he spots such he will stop in and offer up a quick prayer and demonstration.  If not, not.  Gruumsh is more about the doing, in Ketch's mind, than the ritual...  

     At the Registrar, Ketch will take the number after Ulthan, tell the woman they're a team and ask if they should apply individually or as a group, and act appropriately based on the answers.

"hrmpfh training hrmpfh" He looks over strange symbols... scratches his head... goes back to group... If they didn't hear the conversation he repeats what he said. "hrmpfh maybe train know find activate portal hrmpfh".

The shopping trip ends up taking most of the rest of the day actually....as you wander around using up your hard earned coin and filling Meepo's hole with a ridiculous amount of gear, plus the twenty skeletons, now all clad in scale mail and armed with swords and bows. The hole, which is 6 feet across, and ten feet deep, has 20 skeletons crammed shoulder to shoulder inside, with the bags of gear, instruments, and the rest all just heaped at their feet. The ladders reach to the top edge and one skeleton goes to stand on it, ready to climb out. 

In the temple district, Ketch does indeed find a temple to Gruumsh, though the temple is more of an open air combat yard. A poorly maintained statue of Gruumsh adorns the large square that has a three foot stone wall surrounding it. Inside, a few half-orcs are there training. Ketch shows up and takes part in a demonstration....showing the world what Gruumsh is all about.  Swinging things that kill things, at other things that need killing.  And being able to clear your nasal passages in the middle of routine without pausing....perhaps even using said nasal cloggings as a ranged weapon to distract or blind enemies!  There's something to be said for anal gases as a distraction as well.  One of the others is particularly odorous and yells, "GRUUMSH SAYS STINKY FARTS BRING YOU CLOSER TO HOLYNESS!" and then lets a huge one rip noisily.  

Finally at the "portal place" the woman looks up at Ketch. She sniffs, rather obviously at the air, then glances up and down at him. "Yes, a single application for a group is sufficient." 

The application seems to include a lot of legalese about the punishment for NOT reporting the presence of a portal you may have found, along with the need to disclose all information about portal timing, keys, or terminous location. In fact, most of the contract is focused on describing the punishments and penalties for NOT disclosing those things. That said, apparently you will be provided with a "portal testing kit" as well as a "portal hunters training document" that will ensure you have the skills you need to properly assess portals. Payment is purely commission, providing 500 gold for each portal your report that is not already registered.  The next line clearly states that you will NOT be provided with any information regarding already registered portals and that the staff will inform you once you report a portal location if indeed that portal is already registered. 

That said, as you're reading through all this there appears to also be a "portal enforcement" tick box that involves pursuing the acquisition of portal bearing property and delivery and pursuit of contracts to entities for the purposes of portal acquisition. The woman clarifies, "These jobs are assigned to you, not ones you do yourself. They get an up front pay and an on completion pay that goes with them. Tick the box if you're open to these sorta assignments." 

The portal training documents and portal testing kit are only provided upon signing the agreement.

"Count me out of it," said Lionel returning from his deep self-reflection. "It sounds like a fraud if I ever saw one: we get all the risks for no reward at all. Obviously, any found portal will be declared "already discovered", yet, without any knowledge of the discovery we can be instantly killed while simply investigating it the portal leads to the plane of fire, for example. Do as you wish, I am not signing that thing."

     "The assigned cases sound like it could... But yeah, I agree with Lionel," Ketch says grumpily.  "All we've heard about these agencies suggest that no good actually comes from them.  Getting ourselves tied up to them is looking problematic to me."