The Wildemount Irregulars (2020)

Please describe how you would like to kill the owlbear.

Magnum's final punch stoves the owlbear's skull in from the side. The creature seizes up for a moment, then falls over. Dead. 

Gran inspects the dead body.  Good work.  Clean.  Did he even land a blow on either of you two?  Impressive, I'd say.  You want the head?  I could make a nice decoration from it.

Combat appears to be over.  You stand in a forest, a dead owlbear on the ground.  The place where it made its nest is perhaps fifty feet away, a dense patch of trees and bushes.  Gran is already sawing at neck, apparently keen on taking a trophy.

Magnum wants to inspect the nest.

Silent will accompany Magnum to take a look at the nest. 

You find it tough going, but your metal exterior helps to avoid a fair bit of damage.  Nevertheless, if you are pushing in towards the nest itself, you'll both take 1 piercing damage from brambles and the like. 

In the nest you find bones.  Quite a lot of bones.  Do you want to search through them?  If so, make an Investigation check, with advantage if you are both doing it.

Silent will Help Magnum with the Investigation check. 

Investigation - 20

There are animal bones, wolves, large cats, a few birds.  And some humanoid bones, possible a human child, but more likely a halfling or two.  Gran catches up and starts going through the nest with you.  As you discover the humanoid bones, she swears under her breath.  Poor buggers.  Been here a while, I reckon, and no-one from my village or any I know.  No way to know who they are - these are picked clean.

Throughout the nest, you see bits and pieces that were obviously the belongings of those brought back here to be devoured.  Teeth and fur of the animals, scraps of clothing of the people.  You find a mace, not in great condition, and a waterskin that is still usable.  Nothing else of any use or value.

Magnum suggests heading out.

Silent will stow the waterskin in his pack and nods to Magnum. Anythin' else need killing while we're out here, Gran? 

Not that I know of.  Gran gathers all the humanoid bones in a bag.  We can bury them somewhere proper, and not leave them here at least. 

She also complete severing the owlbear's head.  One of you boys okay to carry that?  

Silent will hoist the head over one shoulder, not being very mindful of any blood or remnants of its throat. 

It's early afternoon as you reach Gran's house and the expectant Emi.  Ooh, is that what an owlbear looks like?  Bit different to the books.

Less torso for a start, Gran says.  Put it down here, she motions to the side of the path just outside the door.  I reckon we got ourselves a project, girl.  And something to impress the locals or sell when times get hard.  You two are a fine pair of fighters.  Come in now, won't you?  You're not planning on heading out today, I hope.  I got your payment for you, and wouldn't mind hearing some stories of your adventures neither.

Magnum puts his hand to his chin.  He considers what to tell Gran about their time traveling together.  We met on the road outside of Port Damali.  Headed away from there in a hurry.  Ran into some folks that wanted to buy me.  Killed some of them.  Found some half ogres preying on travelers.  Killed them.  Hmmm...was that before the beer family drama?

Hmmm... y'know, already almost forgot about the beer fight. That was a weird one, eh? Turning to Gran Silent clarifies: We got hired by some brewer in Trostenwald to figure out who was breaking into his silos. Ended up beating the crap out of one of his deadbeat cousins and a pet bear. Split town pretty quick after that. 

Yes.  We do have a habit of hitting and/or killing people then leaving town immediately afterward.  Oh and Silent had an encounter with some sea folk before we met.

There might be a bunch of fishpeople down in the Coast who want me dead, yeah. Or they might have their hands... uh, fins?... full fighting with the Clovis Concord. Didn't stick around long enough to find out. 

(OOC: Our team name is Hit It & Quit It.) 

There's a scream, and then a roar, from outside Gran's hut.