Sera glances at Rose. "It was eating me, everyone keeping secrets after we've been through the level of shit we have together. And I spent enough of my life swallowing what I thought. In Irrisen, speaking out tends to lead to ice magic, aimed at you." She shrugs. "I decided to take the leap. I was worried it might have the opposite effect, but I also knew that saying nothing meant things would keep getting steadily worse. So...I said something."

Rose’s gaze softens on the blood hunter. “I know that feeling... W-well, not with ice magic being aimed at me, a-and I’m sorry you had to go through that, but...” She sinks back into her arms. “With a lot of disappointed looks. Being reprimanded for saying what I thought, or talking back. I lost my voice because of it. Ended up being so complacent and obedient that I never could find that courage to speak out again...” She pauses for a moment, then continues. “Even if you think it may have done nothing... I want to thank you for doing it regardless. It was something that needed to be said, so... Thank you.”

Sera gives Rose a slight smile. "You're welcome. And for what it's worth, you've got a lot of good things to say. I'd be honored to help you find your voice again."

Jirel would blink at the immediate outbursts near the end of the fight, and it wasn’t her snarling or her roaring. Jasun had another outburst of frustration and Sera, evidently, at the end of her rope with the groups behaviour. With her own blood soiled blade dripping in one hand, the barbarian would point to herself with the other, ‘me too?’ when the ice queen would start corralling the crew in a circle. I thought I was as cool as a cucumber... She respected Sera too much to deny her her ask. The goliath would take a deep breath to accept the fact that things were about to get real wordy and real uncomfortable, real quick. She’d take her seat where Sera would place her and she’d listen.

The blonde’s face would soften as Sera put together a beautiful string of words to address and honour Rose’s loss better than the silence that was originally given. Sera’s words were soft but firm, and filled with truth. It was touching.

As Sera moved on to address Jasun, Jirel continued to listen. Although her words were directed at him, she felt as though there were fair statements for everyone to reflect on. As she said, they all had ‘secrets’ or shadows that followed them, things they’re avoiding. The goliath would take a silent breath.

And honest and blunt she was to Zaf. Sera had been watching. The Goliath’s honey eyes would glance down.

Then, it was Jirel’s turn. When Sera would address her, she’d look back up and correct her posture to give Sera her full attention. Her eyes would waver more at the fact that Sera drilled home the point that she’s repeating herself. Jirel couldn’t help but let out a little sigh of shame over the fact that Sera deserved more of a response last time, and she deserves at least some words of truth from the goliath this time. Some context, right? Sera put herself out there more than once, trying to reach out. She cared enough to try to understand, she deserved something.

Jirel would open her mouth a couple times wanting to try to find some words, but Sera continued. She would listen intently as the warrior would dish out more wisdom and truth. The barbarian did appreciate her words. She’s a leader. I heard you Sera... I’m listening.

Jasun was the first to speak. He addressed only Sera and Nadya, which felt like the words weren’t meant for her to hear. But as long as she was part of this circle, she would remain part of it. The barbarian would actively listen. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t care for the Sun of Halifax or that she wasn’t concerned for him during his struggle, curious about his story. She wasn’t smart enough to truly understand the dept of what this cosmic knowledge could really mean or be worth. But constant mental torment was not something she’d wish on anyone, no matter what form it took. Darkness... Rage... Grief... it was all consuming. Maddening if you succumb to it. That’s something she could sympathize with. I heard you Jasun. I’m listening...

Jirel would keep her eyes on the snow at her feet, watching drops of blood stain the pure white snow so she wouldn’t invade the passing glances with ones of her own. She’d adjust her jaw, contemplating whether she should begin compiling words. That’s when Rose would find hers. The barbarian would finally look up to meet her eyes addressing the group. She could see the glow of confidence Sera instilled in their firbolg even through remnants tears. The goliath would try to offer an encouraging nod of her own. Rose had her full attention for anything she wished to say, just as Sera and Jasun had.

Rose had always been intuitive and wise. There was rarely something that she said that didn’t come from the heart. She was passionate and gave unconditionally. Jirel’s face would soften as she’d refer to them as family. Was that really possible? Was there more to ‘family’ than just blood and marriage? Rose also reiterated Sera’s point about us all holding back. ‘How am I supposed to understand if you don’t talk...’. Although those words were directed to Jasun, the blonde allowed them to sink in for herself. Rose too had always put herself out there, and now her light was receding. I heard you Rose... I’m listening...

Zaf, possibly the most hidden and mysterious of them, still remained some what so. He looked to have been trying to say something, but couldn’t find the words. That’s something Jirel could understand at this time. There was so much to reflect on, so much to process, and so much to still add too. His words were short, but felt honest. It was becoming more obvious that Zaf too suffers from mental torment of his own. I heard you Zaf. I’m listening...

At this point the barbarian wondered if it was her turn to share, but then Jasun would respond to Rose. He had been growing cold, but when you’re so unsatisfied and blind to the good around you, it’s hard to remain positive, isn’t it? Jirel could feel her jaw clench at his continued choice of words he’d repeat and obliviousness to his own hypocrisies. And once the scholar’s already made up his mind, the blonde believed there was little to no convincing otherwise. Once the book was closed, would it reopen? Not that she would be intelligent enough to digest knowledge, but she’d at least be brave enough to face it.

Jirel’s eyes would move from Jasun back to Rose. There was that spark. That emotion. That passion. She had never seen their gentle firbolg seethe. And when Rose reached the point of walking off, Jirel didn’t know what to do. She wanted to comfort her, but could she leave the circle?

Sera would jump in again with her leading wisdom. Strong. Firm. Sure with her words. She said everything worth saying in the best way. They felt right. They weren’t wrong. Jirel would chew on her lip while Sera imparted them with her words before making her way over to Rose. Her eyes would follow them before falling back down to the bloodied snow at her feet.

Was the circle done now? Oh... Nadya would then speak up. Jirel would try to avoid looking anywhere but at her feet. This too was probably not meant for her participation. The longer she stayed silent, the longer she felt she should. Sometimes she wondered if being a mute or being deaf would be better. The blonde would remain silent for the pair to have their private conversation should they desire to continue it.

Jirel wouldn’t move from her place in the snow. She would however, eventually begin cleaning the blood off her blade. She still had yet to sustain any injuries worth stopping for, so she was here for them. The barbarian would keep an eye out until the girls would return for the next steps.

When/if Sera and Rose would return, Jirel would look to them. She’d offer a small toothy smile. She had been uncomfortable and unsure of what to do, but she was there. She listened. Was she supposed to say anything? The goliath would let out a gentle exhale, not really sure where to go from here. She’d swallow, never really enjoying the vulnerability that came with talking.

”Am I supposed to say something?” Her voice was tentative at first. “I feel like the moment has passed... but I also feel as though, at minimum, I owe Sera some words. I probably owe you all some. And we’ve all established how bad I am with them. But this is supposed to be about no excuses, right?” Jirel would breathe and look to Sera, “I heard you then, and I do hear you now. Your words have made a difference. And I don’t mean to be rude when I say this, but a part of me believes that the only person who may actually be the closest to being able to fully understand my deepest torment is, Nadya...” Her honey eyes would glance over to the strong woman. “But I believe you when you say you care.” She’d then look over to Sera and Rose. She did believe they cared to understand, but wondered if they would be able to truly comprehend the true grip it could have on you. Her eyes wouldn’t ignore the boys. She’d glance to Zaf and Jasun should they be listening before looking back. Jirel would try her best to keep her story short. She didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.

”I am the daughter of a chieftain. A twin. My brother was to be heir, and I was sworn in to be trained as the next Lead Blade Warrior of our clan. As a Blade Warrior you are not to know love. Never to wed or bare children, for it is a weakness.” She’d begin, not trying to think to hard on what she was saying. The less words she used, the better right? No one wanted to listen more... “But I was young and impressionable... Foolish...” A sigh would escape her lips. She was still a fool. She fell for any attention given to her because she was so starved and conditioned for it. That had been obvious enough... “My brother had arranged for my Blade Master to pay special attention to me, feeding my loneliness a little more every day... rewarding me for a hard day of training...” Taking advantage of a young lost soul... She’d breathe. “I got pregnant. And like any naive teenage pregnancy, I thought I had it all figured out, when I truly knew nothing.. It was all a set up.” She’d pause letting the cliche sink in before continuing. “Unbeknownst to me, I was actually born first. My father was so ashamed by my physical stunting, he refused to acknowledge me as an equal. I was conditioned to be a weapon so I would never risk compromising the bloodline. Whispers of his illegitimacy made my brothers ears. He arranged for my fall from innocence to send my father into a rage. It worked. The Chief slaughtered my Master and then came for me...” Jirel didn’t know where to look, but then she’d eventually look to Nadya. She had no idea how the woman felt about her, but Nadya was a mother. She must understand... “There’s nothing as adrenaline inducing or as fierce as a mother protecting her child. I’ve never fought with such blinding rage than when I fought in defence of that life.” The barbarian would place her hand over her abdomen and look there instead. She remembered how she had accepted raising it on her own if she had too... “In the end, I hesitated... and failed. My own father gutted my child from my womb...” Jirel would rub over the scar, remembering the feeling of the cold steel being driven into her gut. She could feel the emotions growing... rage stirring. She’d swallow, pushing it down. She’d glance to Rose, wondering if that’s what she felt that day...

Jirel would then glance down, then look to Sera, “Please know I never dismissed your words. You have made me think twice. You, Rose, and the others here have helped me see new perspectives... I am learning...” The barbarian felt as though she was growing and improving in some ways. She’s realizing how much patience and understanding is needed in bonding with others, by both parties. “Sera, your words last time, and Rose, your gift, have allowed me to take the first steps in moving forward, not that you would have known that...” Jirel would look between Sera and Rose before glancing away and back again. The barbarian had abandoned her original axe in an emotional detachment of her past. The axe being left was a symbol of her leaving that piece behind. “I am moving forward. Finding my way.” She would hope to reassure her. “I desire not to cast my life away. I simply continue to welcome challenging death, for I refuse to fear it.” As a warrior in her clan, it’s an honour to die in combat, especially in the defence of those she cared for. Jirel hoped she didn’t give Sera the wrong impression or disappointed her.

As silence would fall on the group after talking, the blonde would begin to fidget uncomfortably. “Thank you for listening...” She’d whisper softly to those who listened. She didn’t know if it was what she was supposed to say or do, but it was her torment. It was the loss that unhinged her in ways she still didn’t completely understand and they’ve probably suffered in some way from her erratic emotions/outbursts.

Jasun's heart sank, and then split at hearing Nadya tell him what he already knew. He looked down for a moment, trying to hold back the grief and sadness he felt. He swallowed, and he spoke.

"I understand, Nadya. The last thing I wanted was to endanger you and your children. I simply wanted to know what it was like to be normal, to find a way to deal with my choices...to be loved. And, to love someone in return. Thank you for making me feel special...even if it was for just a little while." 

He said nothing else during the rest.

Now, more than ever, did he wish to be away from this place and away from everything.

Jasun: Nadya gives you a good amount of space doesn't respond to you, since there really isn't anything she can say that won't make this hurt more.

Jirel: "I am so sorry that you had to endure that. But I am glad that you felt that you could talk to us. And your elders were wrong, falling een love and having cheeldren eesn't weakness, eet ees what makes hardsheep worth enduring." 

Jasun had a thousand year stare on his face, realizing he had just lost something he truly cared deeply about. What startled him more was how numb he felt, even the pain from the giants axe hurt less than how he felt right now. He wanted to cry, to scream, to just disappear. But most of all, he hated..her.

Look at how sad you are. Look at how your broken heart lays in tatters on the floor. Poor you. Sticking to such primitive earthly feelings. I'm glad she's gone. Now that THAT distraction is over with, are you finally ready to stop fooling around and get down to business with someone who REALLY cares about you? Ready to accept your fate? Ready for a real woman who can show you everything and more? I can expand your power and senses in way you've never dreamed. All you need to do is submit.

Jasun said nothing.

I can take the pain away. I can make the hurt go away. I can mend your heart and fill you with my passion. You want love? Take it from me. You want me body and soul? Here I am. If you enjoyed HER, imagine what I could make you feel. Oh, come now. There is nothing her, nor anyone here could ever give you that I cannot. You want love? You want me? Take me. I will show you levels of intimacy you couldn't even possibly comprehend. 

Leave. Me. Alone.

Stupid man. I will never relent. You will eventually give in. All I need to do is wait. You'll see.

"I... I would like that... A-and if there is anything I could help with... let me know?" Rose says, a small smile finally forming on her lips. "Thank you, Sera."

When Jirel would say her piece, Rose would listen. She would listen with intent, and kept her eyes on the blonde to ensure to her that she had an audience, even if it were just her. And though Jirel believed she wasn't the best with words, that was okay. What mattered was that she was trying. She was opening up to them, a feat that was probably extremely difficult to do for her, and Rose wanted to be there to support her in some little way, for her to know that she had her attention and would have it until she ran out of words to say.

I'm hearing you, Jirel... I'm listening. And Jirel had a lot to say.

Rose would feel her own emotions take a ride during her piece, and she forces herself to keep her expression leveled, but she found it difficult to. Her hand would hover over the area where Jirel had been scarred, feeling that phantom of pain briefly for a moment. She didn't know a thing about losing her own child, and she couldn't imagine the grief, the pain that Jirel must have endured. Whatever she felt back then was probably a half of what the barbarian had gone through when it happened, and the thought itself brings a frown upon her visage.

Tears would prick at the corners of her eyes, ever the emotional person she had been. Jirel had to go through that alone. Such a horrible and traumatic event that would forever be branded in her mind and there was little that could be done about it. But there was some hope. Creating cherished memories to help cope with the bad was something they could do, and they had unknowingly been doing something to help her move forward, and that knowledge gets Rose to crack a small smile again.

The cleric moves herself to the barbarian, and had she been allowed to, she would bring Jirel into a warm, loving hug. "Thank you for sharing that with us, Jirel," Rose begins. "It... it must have been hard to, but... thank you. I-I'm here for you. We... We all are." Her voice falters ever so slightly, unsure of what Jasun and Zaf had felt, but she had hopes that Sera would show Jirel her support too, but she tries to be confident in her words. She pulls away from the embrace, but takes Jirel's hands in hers, looking at her with glossy hazel eyes. "I... I can't imagine the pain you've been through, and I-I'm sorry for your loss.... I-I want to help you heal in whatever ways that I can, not just physically, but... mentally too. Let's... let's make happy memories together, for as long as we can, okay?"

Sera listens quietly, hearing Jirel's words, feeling a swell of regret at Nadya and Jasun's interaction. She knew that their rift was partially her fault. She was incredibly sorry for what had happened, but after that first rush of regret, she discovered that she was still glad he'd shared, even if she dearly wished the consequences had been different. She looks at Jirel. "You're right. I can't begin to imagine your pain, your suffering, what you went through. But I can still tell you that I'm so sorry you went through that. And that I hope we can make this part of your life the brightest yet."

Jasun stood up (whenever the short rest was over), picking up the pieces of his broken heart, and doing his best to maintain his frustrations. He dusted himself off, and adjusted his coat. He wanted to leave this place, to have nothing to do with it anymore, and to finish this job and go home. The event with Nadya weighed heavily on his mind, as did the situation with Jezzika, now made ten times worse with him and Nadya no longer an item. It almost seemed to make Jezzika push harder, torment him more. 

Part of him wanted to give in to her, just to make the heartache go away, and for a moment, he wanted to let the Darkness simply burst out of him in frustration and anger but he wasn't the type to take it out on others, nor would being angry be beneficial. He was more professional than that. He was a sophisticated scholar. Refined. Even arrogant. Plus, it was no one's fault but his own. This he knew. He even went to think that he didn't care about everyone's problems. Why would he? He would never see these people again after this. They say they care, but do they really? That was the question. Besides, he if he did care himself, he was preoccupied about how to get rid of Jezzika.

"Come." he said, pleasantly, saying anything to just get those ideas out of his mind. "Let us finish what we came here to do. The sooner we complete our task, the sooner we can return home and leave this awful place."

At some point while preparing to leave, Jasun walked up to Sera and took her gently by the arm. Like, in a dance, leading someone. He led you away from the group.

"I don't hold any ill will towards you." he said softly to her so no one could hear. At 20 CHA, his voice is soothing, charming, and his touch is affectionate yet professional. "What you did back there was a kind thing to do for everyone. I appreciate the goal you had in mind, and I hope it allows us to understand each other more, even if you might of done if because you were frustrated with us. Personally, I don't take it that way. That took courage. I just wanted you to know."

Sera meets Jasun's eyes as he speaks to her. Her own gaze is troubled, but she nods in response to Jasun's words. "I'm sorry it ended up hurting you the way you did. But I appreciate you sharing. It really did mean a lot."

"Thank you." he smiled. "If it makes you feel any better, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Selfishly, perhaps, I was trying to make it last as long as possible, but..you simply helped me do the right thing, as painful as it was. I was foolish to think the way I did, and it's one reason why I tried to keep it all to myself for so long. While my soul festers at least I know she and her children will be safe. I have you to thank for that."

Sera nods and turns to head further into the dungeon before pausing and turning back to Jasun. "Oh, and Jasun? Regarding what you said about none of us ever seeing anyone again after this...I don't really have anything planned after we finish this whole Baba Yaga mess. So if you'd be up for it...I'd be happy to keep traveling with you." She smiles faintly. "Provided we don't all end up ice statues, that is."

Jasun was taken aback by that, surprised. He cocked his head slightly, as if trying to comprehend what she was saying, but he was smiling softly, he liked the idea, just didn't expect it from her. Eventually, he spoke. "All the more reason, then, to avoid that fate, wouldn't you say?" he said to her, looking at her deeply. "I wasn't expecting you to offer that with me, honestly, this is a very pleasant surprise. Yes. I would enjoy your company. You are quite a capable woman, and I would hate to see you become a popsicle. Are you sure about this? Even after everything I said?"

Sera nods. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm willing to risk it."

“Very well.” he nodded slowly, taking your arm again and leading you back the the group casually. “How could I refuse a woman willing to take those kinds of risks with someone like me.” It made him feel better. It was indeed a pleasant surprise, and Sera was quite capable. And perhaps.. offered because..actually he didnt know why..”May I ask why, If you don’t mind?”

Sera shrugs. "I traveled on my own the last several years. I found that while I can tolerate it, I far prefer traveling with others. And I like traveling with you." She shrugs. "You're a good guy, and good in a fight, too. It'd be good for both of us, I think."

“Then I shall endeavor to survive so that both of us will be able to learn from one another by keeping company.“ Jasun agreed. “But tell me, if anything. What truly, deeply, troubles you? Is it more than what you said earlier?”

Sera sighs. "I told you I'm jadwiga. Now, the current, most well-known jadwiga are currently in the process of defying Baba Yaga and killing her servants. Not to mention the fact that clearly, my jadwiga ancestor fled into hiding, probably from Baba Yaga. And we're going to find Baba Yaga. So I'm...not particularly comfortable with the various ways I can see that going." She shrugs. "I accepted my heritage a long time ago, turned it into a tool I could use, my weapon. But I sincerely doubt most of my distant relatives feel the same way."