laid back apocalypse

Kerric:

”I have a scratch, but it seems to be minor.  I could rest or continue as we are, either way,” responds Kerric.

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker rolls his eyes, "You guys are going to keep it up with this Captain thing aren't you. Well, it would teach you all if I slipped a term into our team contract that required you to address me as Captain in order to get a full share of treasure.....yeah, we just did a lot of fighting. Let's take a proper rest before we go drown ourselves."  He seems happy to 'put off' the suicide boating expedition.

Hawke looks pleased at their captains decision on taking a rest before continuing their journey. "Give me an hour or so n' I'll be able to turn into animals again!" He chirps up happily. "We oughta tell the others what the plans are too. C'mon!" He promptly begins to head up the steps

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker heads upstairs following Hawke, ready to get a bit of a rest. 

Kerric:

Nodding, Kerric heads back upstairs and prepares to rest, but he does position himself between the secret door and the commoners as he rests.

The boys return upstairs to settle in for a short rest. Ebele would sniff a couple times, then her facial expression would turn. Someone smells like musty wet dog.

The commoners would pace at first, then they’d flock around T'chal'fronack'zcinicker, staring at him expectantly.

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker looks at them all, a weary look on his face and then suddenly he perks up, "Oh my gosh, you're right. Your rescuee contracts!!  Excellent.  Hello everyone, please line up in an orderly way here......"  He sets up a desk or sitting area for himself, and then out of his backpack contracts start getting pulled out.  He then pulls out a note paper, and laboriously folds it several times until its a crosshatch of fold marks. He, slowly, writes out numbers in each square, and then goes about tearing all of them up.  He then hands the first fragment with a #1 on it to the first person in line.  "This is your number. When I call your number, please return to me and we'll discuss your contract."  He looks past them to the next person in line and says loudly, "NEXT!" 

He proceeds this way until every person has been given a number.  If any linger around he tells them to "kindly sit in the waiting area until I call your number", waving them over to one of the other tables.  Then he begins quietly working on his first contract.  A few moments later he yells loudly, "Number 1.  Now serving number 1."   He checks the persons number as they approach to ensure they have #1, "Hold onto that, we might need it still."  He begins a list in his book.  "Name?"   The next three hours are spent calling up each individual, and filling out and having them sign a 'rescuee' contract, with all sorts of terms and conditions.  Though he's busy, it's also the ultimate form of bureaucratic relaxation for him...this time doing more for his restfulness and relaxation than having a cat nap could ever achieve. 

Reghys is carefully making sure that the hot iron is left untouched by anyone and is happy to use their soothing song to aid in any healing that might be required. As soon as T'chal'fronack'zcinicker starts to have the rescuees sign contracts though, the mirthful satyr hops up next to the rescuees and advices them each on the terms of the contract.

"... no, no no, T- be reasonable, you saw yourself that she fought off the ghouls as good as me. If anything, she rescued Hawke, and would likely have been fine without us disrupting her day like that. In fact, I believe she is owed a small fee for the emotional distress that she witnessed in helping us."
"Him... no, he was instrumental in helping me get that grate in place. Swear to the gods, couldn't have done it without him. And where would we be if that didn't happen, right? I mean, sure, I gave them the idea and the overall guidance to do that, but then that's hardly enough to qualify as us rescuing them, I'm sure you would agree?"
"If anything, she, as a child, should have been rescued by her parents. Seeing as we had quite a hand in ending their existence out in the courtyard though, I feel it might be a bit much to ask her to sign a paper to now declare us as the rescuers..."

Persuasion: 29 or minimum of 19

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker raises an eyebrow as Reghys begins to speak, "First of all. My name is T'chal'fronack'zcinicker. T...chal....fron...ack....shin...ick...er.  It's not that difficult.  T'chal'fronack'zcinicker.  It has less syllables than unenthusiastically and clearly such a well spoken fellow as yourself can say it.  Now...." he pauses to crack his knuckles, "...as to your claim that they fought off the ghouls. Clearly they were assisting us in their own rescue. There is no financial renumeration listed in these contracts so your attempt to weave fees into it, I find, is a bit unethical. As rescuers, we would never dream of charging a fee, so likewise why would those we're rescuing be entitled to recompensation from us of any sort. In fact, terms in section IV specifically call out that they can not sue us or charge back to us any fees related to their imprisonment or rescue. I would hazard to guess that you would not like to risk your portion of any treasure we find paying out liability lawsuits so you may want to stop arguing so profusely against what are reasonable and industry standard norms. Now, your involvement prior to us arriving is unclear to me, since we weren't here. But if you are saying that we didn't rescue this one person or offer him any assistance, then of course there is no need to have him sign a contract, assuming he of course agrees to that. And regarding your supposition that a child should be rescued by her parents, I believe you to be complete incorrect. There is no implied or inherent power in existence that indicates a parent has either the requirement or ability to rescue a child in any scenario. For evidence, I submit to you, the existence of orphanages. However, you are quite right that a legal guardian must be involved in any contract signing, and if her legal guardian is unavailable, we will, for now, have to expose ourself to some inherent legal risk regarding her rescue."  A small smile tugs at his lips as he glances up expectantly at Reghys.

Reghys beams over at T: "So, you're agreeing that two of the three won't have to sign the contract then? But surely if there are exceptions for these two, then all others who found themselves in the same situation and provided us with considerable help, without which we would have liekly expended far more sweat, blood and treasure, should be excused as well. And regardless, surely you, as a being of such a high legal mind, would agree that a contract entered into it by force, threat of force, or circumstance are inherently less valid than those entered with free volition. Now, these fine folk finding forthright fighters finishing off foul fiends for friends, foreigners and forlorn is fortuitous for them. But to tether their temporary turn-around to the tacit trap that these tracts threaten, that thoroughly tarnishes the true trials that this trusty talent trounced. My most mollified mate, mightn't more merry matters make menial minutiae mightily, maddeningly monotonous?"

You can all tell that Reghys is starting to lose themselves not so much in the argumentation, but more in the sheer joy of playing aorund with honeyed words, each of which is laced slightly with their innate magical talent.

Kerric:

Smiling at T'chal'fronack'zcinicker’s and Reghys’ exchanges, Kerric almost felt sorry for the commoners…almost.  Resting for now, he marshals his resources for the next foray into the unknown.

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker rolls his eyes as Reghys begins alliterating, "You are as prolific with your words as you are non-sensical with your arguments. Surely you're not going to attempt a traditional slippery slope argument. Basic truth and morality philosophy's deal with the invalid nature of these argumentative tools as base and even deceiving in nature. Well, I suppose you just did. And obviously, that makes no sense so I won't address it further. As for duress, I think we can all agree I'm not forcing anyone to sign a contract. If anything, we've rescued them from duress, freeing them from such problems. However I see your interest has been purely self-fulfilling entertainment, so if you've had quite enough then I'll continue with number 4. Number 4?  If not, and you wish to dispute these contracts further, I'll gladly meet you in a loyal magistrates chamber and we can argue the conveyance of legal rights in a proper manner. Now, you're budding in front of poor ....uh...whoever this miss is who has been patiently and orderly waiting in line to have her contractual concerns addressed.  You know what.  Here, here's a number for you, if you wish to speak further with me, please wait your turn."  He quickly writes on a piece of parchment and hands it to Reghys. It has the number 15 on it, but a 9 has been hastily scratched in front of the 15 turning it into "915".   He adds, "I would have added more numbers, but the paper is too small."

Reghys, accepting the slip with a beaming smile, quickly gathers it up and swallows it whole, before turning to the rest of the queue: "No matter what he tells you, you don't HAVE to sign these contracts and, if my hunch is correct, the conditions if you do might be FAR more severe than he likes to lay out." They add a wink before heading over to Kerric: "I feel they should know their rights, you know?" they add, shrugging their shoulders but still smiling.

Xalkas spends his time going through his spellbook and noting things in his journal and making tweaks to the design of EMBK. 

Once at the top of the stairs (and once everyone sort of got out of the way), Hawke promptly begins shaking himself dry, similar to that of a dog, though once realizing that gross musty scent wouldn't just 'go away', he purses his lips for a moment in thought. While watching T'chal take care of the now freed commoners, with Reghys, eyes scan over to locate the rest of the others before settling on Ebele, where ever she may had wandered off to.

"Heeey," He telepathically pokes her. "I think this place has a bath house somewhere. Wanna come with? I'm a little stinky and don't wanna go alone." She could practically hear his eyebrows waggling.

The commoner's eyes widen from T'chal'fronack'zcinicker's burst of enthusiasm once he realized he had promised them safety and contracts. They'd shuffle along as instructed, lining up and taking numbers. One of them would look at it with curiosity before using it to scratch the inside of their ear as the tiefling would explain what they were actually for. When asked, they'd give their name. "Berd." They'd smooth their paper out, lick their fingers and then smooth it out once more before offering it back to its creator. He wasn't #1.

Pee yewww Ebele's nose would scrunch more playfully and she'd chuckle. I think that's our queue. The monk would slip out towards the bathhouse. Seriously, it would be nice to wash off all the blood and stank.

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker worked at what he did best, drawing up pages upon pages of documents without skipping a beat, regardless of what bump hit the table. The tiefling comfortably settled in for a therapeutic experience of organizing his thoughts as he caught up on lists, ledgers, letters and of course his favourite, lengthy contracts. As he worked his magic with his onboarding clients, Reghys would join the delicate dance of descriptive discussion. They and T'chal'fronack'zcinicker exchange wordy debates in which enrapture, delight and yet confuse the commoners. Near the end of it, one of them, Berd, would just follow Reghys' lead and eat their paper too.

During all of this Kerric took the time to rest, preparing himself for what ever may come while Xalkas diligently poured himself into his research.

All in all though, the commoners respected the efforts of both parties. And after getting a taste of battle, it was clear that it toughened some of them up. In the end, they simply cared to return home. Though, if they could be useful along the way, they were willing, however that'd shake out amongst the 'rescuers'.

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker & Reghys

Everyone
(You no fools aboot ghouls.)

Short Rest: Granted
Smash that short rest button.

XP Granted: 200 Each
Must be applied yourselves

T'chal'fronack'zcinicker makes several adjustments to the contracts as it seems the others are interested in coming with the group. However whenever Ebele and Hawke get back from teh baths and the group is seeming ready to go, he quickly points out a logistical concern, "Um, if all of these folk want to come with us up the river of drowning deaths, I'm unsure we can all fit in the row boat. Maybe we should try going a different way instead?" 

He turns, distracted, to Anya, and adjust how her crossbow is slung across her shoulder, "If it's not right, you'll drop it, break it and you'll be without your weapon. They are lethal, but fragile things. Treat it right."

Kerric:

During the rest, Kerric spoke with Lathna, finding out about her love of the forest and her growing capability to hunt and provide for her brothers and sisters.  Even more impressed was he when she spoke of not letting any parts of the prey go to waste and mentioned the leathers she wore were made from her own kills--skinned and tanned by her own hands.  Still, the way into the ghoul-infested river was likely to be quite dangerous, and he already had many capable companions.

Handing her one of the damaged chain shirts and a damaged sharktooth sword, Kerric finishes his conversation, saying, "If you truly want to apprentice to us and learn the adventuring trade, complete this first mission.  Protect the other freed survivors here, keep the cultist reavers well-restrained.  When we return, we can all go back to Womford and once the others are safe we can discuss apprenticeship.  If for some reason we do not return by morning, I trust you and the other prospective apprentices will safely row the survivors downriver to Womford." 

Reghys turns to Orric: “I’m not what they’d call an experienced fighter. But, what I do have is a good head on my shoulders and a knack to take advantage where I can and stay out of trouble otherwise. The best thing in my mind is to convince others that there’s no need to fight at all. But just in case we ever need to, it helps to speak in code.” With that, they start to teach Orric about thieves’ talk and persuading or deceiving others.

When clean, rested and organized, the Argent Alliance assembles and allies are assigned accordingly. The numbers sort of added up. Eventually equipped, prepared and briefed, everyone files down the stairs. T'chal'fronack'zcinicker quickly realizes that with the added crew it'll definitely be a tighter fit, and they're going to need another boat.

Exiting Rivergard

Remembering there was another similar sized keelboat out at the landing, Kerric takes his new assistant with him to retrieve it. Prepared with key or kit, the two set out. They're easily to make it through the gate and pull up to the secret landing where the rest of the crew were loading themselves into their boats.

It was a tight squeeze, but thanks to some of smaller statures, and your close 'comfort' with one another, you all just manage to fit. And so, once T'chal'fronack'zcinicker completed his head count, and Kerric a perimeter check, the boats are untied. You push off down towards the darkness.

Row, row, row your boats, gently down the steam...

DM