"Oh! Oh!" Phineas hears a voice call out over the clamor of the crowd. She turns to see, pushing his way through the crowd, a stout, jovial-looking man with an exquisite mustache and beard, dressed in colorful clothes, topped off with a jaunty cap. "Excuse me, yes! Hello! Oh!" He finally makes it through the crowd, and rushes up to Phineas, taking her by the hand before she could do anything about it, shaking it vigorously. "Most good! That was MOST good! You must be an adventurer, am I right? Oh, please excuse me. My name is Volothamp Geddarm, and I am very much in need of your aid!" He shakes her hand through the entire introduction.

Phineas grins as a rather jovial-looking man pushed his way through the crowd... she found herself immediately taken with the cut of his jib as she admires his truly excellent fashion sense and squeals with delight, "hubba, hubba, hubba, this must be my lucky day." Then when he takes her by the hand and starts shaking it vigorously the plucky jester looks over at Cheeky and gives her Goblin partner a wink and a nod then taps her nose with her free hand signaling that they've got themselves a nice juicy mark. Cheeky nods his head and taps his nose in understanding and waits for the proper moment.

"Adventurer, me?" Phineas responded as she started to lay the charm on thick... and throwing in her best flirtatious moves for good measure by taking his free hand into hers so they are now shaking with both their hands instead of just one all the while chattering on like a cheerful chipmunk, "I've been called an adventurous maiden in my day but whatever... sure, I guess that adventurer is close is enough. What is it I can do you for boo?" Phineas asked innocently in a honey-sweet voice busy distracting this Volothamp character in order to Help Cheeky who is pulling a Sleight of Hand 17 to pick this guy's pockets and lift his coin purse.

Cheeky successfully manages to lift the man's coin purse, which feels a little light. The purse contains 13 gp.

Volothamp, oblivious to the goblin's presence, adjusts his cap and strokes his mustache. Phineas can see the slightest blush on his face. "It is my friend, you see! His name is Floon Blagmaar. He’s got more beauty than brains, and I worry he took a bad way home a couple nights ago and was kidnapped — or worse. If you agree to track him down with all due haste, I can offer you ten dragons apiece now, and I can give you each ten times that when you find Floon. May I prevail upon you in my hour of need?”

Phineas now that Cheeky has lightened the mark's load as it were she begins to pay a little more attention to his words, especially when he got to the compensation part! The plucky jester scatches her and mulls it all over, "Floon Blagmaar you say, you mean ol' Floon the Loon? I thought he died of the pox a year ago. I'm pretty sure that myself and Cheeky helped to dig his grave we did... and we don't go to all that trouble for just anyone."

The plucky jester began to tear up thinking about her dearly departed Floon the Loon and began to eulogize him, “Alas, dear poor sweet Floon! I knew him well I did dear Volothamp! Floon the Loon, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy, he hath borne me on his back a thousand times, and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rims at it." She said with a sigh as the plucky jester wailed on and spun a most poetic eulogy dedicated to the tragical Floon Blagmaar.

Phineas suddenly grabbed Volothamp's hand and brought it up to touch her heavily painted cherry-red lips as she continued her eulogize. "Here hung these maiden sweet lips of mine that Floon the Loon hath kissed so many times. I know not how oft but definitely more than a baker's dozen! Where be your gibes now my sweet Floon? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? Quite chap-fallen?”

Poor Cheeky suddenly burst and into tears and began to weep for the poor dearly departed Floon the Loon! Phineas ran her arm around Volothamp's waist and drew him closer to herself, "so you say you'll pay me and my two partners ten gold dragons apiece now... upfront? And then we find and deliver Floon to you that you'll give each of us ten times that!!!"

Phineas started counting her fingers to work out the exact math, "so that would be a grand total of 300 gold dragons! Not bad, not bad at all!!! Sure, sure, we'll find and deliver Floon the Loon to you right as rain, you can count on Phineas Fop, Cheeky Littlebottom, and Esmeralda La Dollie to get this here job done for you in this... your great hour of need! You can trust us!!!" Phineas assured him brimming with confidence...

That said Phineas held out her hand, her palm nice and sweaty as she twiddled her fingers beckoning, "come on, come on... that's 30 gold dragons total upfront, my good man." She said impatiently, "time is of the essence you know... so don't dally or get cheap on us now, the first 48 bells are vital if we hope to find ol' Floon still amongst the living!"

Volothamp feels around his pockets, desperately searching for his coin purse. "Well, I really only meant ten total... Oh, where is it? Someone might have nicked it... Hey wait, there's only two of you! What's this business about three of you?"

As Phineas points to where the talking doll Esmeralda was, she notices that in its place there is a small, rectangular object, wrapped in cloth and tied up in a thin rope. The doll is nowhere to be found.

"Anyways," Volothamp continues, "I might not be able to pay you up front, but I PROMISE on my mother's soul that I will be able to compensate you quite well once the deed is done!"

Phineas screamed like a Banshee when she noticed that Esmeralda was missing and something wrapped in cloth was left behind in her place! "Hells Bells... Cheeky, I give you one little job... to look after dear sweet Esmeralda and you bollocks it up big time! Somebody's nicked my Dollie... I mean kidnapped the boss!" She corrected herself quickly moving to the table to snatch up the unknown object and stuff it into her pack.

Cheeky's big round head dropped down... his chin rested on his chest as he shrugged... a look of guilt and shame on his face. "I'll deal with you later Cheeky, we've got a bigger fish to fry," the frustrated jester warned the Goblin before she turned her full attention back to the hapless Volothamp.

"Alright... two of us then, me and Cheeky here are enough to find Floon the Loon. But we ain't no charity you know, that's what paladins and priests are for but us Jesters," She said proudly, "we're professionals. So it's twenty gold dragons upfront... ten for me...  ten for Cheeky. And don't try to give me a sob story that you've misplaced your purse or something. Cry me a river, I wasn't born yesterday you know. Somebody up and stole my little Dollie, the boss and you don't hear me bellyaching about it, do you? So suck it up and fork over the twenty gold or find someone else to do your dirty work!" Phineas demanded feeling insulted and still a bit raw at losing the Dollie!

Then without warning the plucky Jester squinted her eyes and took a real hard long look at Volothamp, especially his rich stylish colorful clothes, and jaunty cap. "Tell you what I'm going to do, Voly. I'm a reasonable-minded lady, I'm willing to haggle and cut you a little slack. So if you can't or won't cough up the twenty then you'll just have to strip down to your knickers... those you can keep but everything else you're wearing and carrying, hand it all over in lieu of the twenty upfront! The colorful dandified clothes... every stitch including that jaunty cap, your boots, and any rings or jewelry... anything and everything that's not permanently attached to you! We'll take the lot upfront and then when we deliver Floon, we get the full 200 gold dragon plus an extra 50 as a bonus for you yanking my chain! Got it?"'

Phineas stood there, her arms crossed in front of her chest as she tapped her foot waiting for Volothamp to decide how he was going to make the deal work...

As Phineas picks up the package, she notices it is quite heavy for its size, roughly five inches in every dimension.

Volo's face goes red as he listens to Phineas' demands. "That's outrageous! I'll tell you what, I can't pay you now, but on completion of the job, I can offer you something worth a thousand gold dragons! Even more!"

Phineas, as she negotiated with Volo, found her thoughts wandering back to the package, her curiosity piqued but she didn't want to let the cat out of the bag then and there in front of Volo and mixed company in the tavern. No one likes a nosey Nelly.

The plucky jester giggled as she watched Volo's face go red upon hearing her demands, "that's more like it Voly, we're negotiating now, ain't it grand? So you didn't misplace your coin purse after all... I knew you were yanking my chain! Something worth a thousand gold dragons, even more, you say??? Do tell me more, I'm listening and willing to keep an open mind. I'll consider it but you best be on the up and up with me... I'm getting wise to you!"

As she tried to convince Persuasion 9 Volo to be a bit more forthcoming Phineas watched and listened closely Insight 19 trying to get a bead on his little game to decide if Volo was on the up and up and if she should go with the 200 gold behind curtain one... or the mysterious and tantalizing MacGuffin between curtain number two. Phineas felt herself becoming all giddy-like as she stared at and listened to Volo. The plucky jester just adored MacGuffins... they're her bread and butter after all!

Phineas considered his words carefully and weighed her options, "hand over the 20 gold upfront then and give me a minute to think about the reward upon completion thing. While I'm deliberating... do tell me more about where and when you last saw your friend Floon, and what he has been up to lately... any friends, family, enemies like if owes money to someone that I should know about! How about his favored hangouts so I and Cheeky will have somewhere to start out and try to pick up his trail."

"Indeed! I have a deed to property here in Waterdeep! Trollskull Manor, in the North Ward. Perhaps you have heard of it? It is a historic building! I originally purchased the deed because there are rumors that it is haunted, and I was going to devote a whole chapter to it in my next book, but Floon is more important to me than any building, so I will gladly hand the deed over to you on his safe return! The last time I saw Floon was two nights ago. We were drinking together at the Skewerd Dragon, in the Dock Ward. I would recommend starting there."

Volo continues to pat himself down. "Again, I seem to have misplaced my coin purse, or I'd happily pay you in advance for your services. Oh! Would an autographed copy of Volo's Guide to Monsters suffice! The book is worth ten gold on its own, and an autograph from the author surely doubles the value!" He produces a copy of his book and opens it up to the front page."

As Volo made his counteroffer and tried to give the plucky jester that tired old line again about misplacing his coin purse Phineas rolled her eyes and muttered, "oy, Voly you just don't give up do you?" Then she felt Cheeky tugging at her leggings trying to get her attention. Phineas bent down so the little goblin could whisper in her ear.

Phineas after hearing what Cheeky had to say thought for a moment and shrugged, "tell you what Voly... I'll take that autographed book of yours upfront in lieu of the 20 gold dragons but you're gonna have to throw in that stylish jaunty cap of yours as well! It seems Cheeky here has taken a shine to it and it's only fair both him and me each get something upfront. As for the deed to Trollskull Manor when we deliver Floon, sure why not... sounds good. So do we have a deal or not? I've never worked for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause Voly but I like you so I'll make a special exception this one time."

As Volo mulled over the jester's counter-counter offer Phineas continued to chatter, "so the Screwed Dragon, in the Dock Ward, huh, I know the place... what a dump but I've been too much worse... Cheeky and I will check it out then."

"Oh, yes, of course! What is a hat compared to a friend! I tell you what, girl, you are obviously not shy about asking for what you want! You must do well in a city like Waterdeep!" Volo takes his cap and hands it to the goblin, who puts it on his head and flashes Phineas a big, toothy grin. "And here, let us not forget the autographed book. Uh, who should I make it out to?"

(Sorry, I have been totally slipping when it comes to roleplaying Cheeky. I'll do better from now on!)

Phineas gives Volo a coy mischievous smile, "I do pretty well if I do say so myself! And who knows, maybe someday I'll even be running the show at Waterdeep, wouldn't that be a hoot? I may be many things, but shy isn't one of them." She said as she turned and watched as Cheeky put the dapper hat on his noggin and flashed Phineas a big grin as the plucky jester giggled, "my but don't you look dapper Cheeky, that cap totally suits you it does but something's definitely missing." She paused and scratched her chin thinking, "oh, I know what's missing... you need one of them fancy walking sticks with a big ornate silver handle! You know like all the dandy lords carry around when they swagger about the city as if they own it. We'll have to be on the lookout for a fancy walking stick, maybe get you one with a rapier sword hidden in it. Would you like that?"

Cheeky eyes went wide with delight as he grinned and eagerly nodded in agreement!

Happy that Cheeky is pleased, Phineas turned her attention back to Volo and peeked at the open book in his hands, "if you would, just make it out to 'Phineas Fop' and be a dear and write something witty or sentimental too... you know like... to my best pal," she suggested...

Volo speaks as he writes, "To my favorite jester... Phineas... Fop. There you go, young lady!" Volo hands the autographed book over to Phineas. "Now, er... Perhaps you could be making your way, now that we're all squared away? Time is of the essence!"

After Volo autographed his book and handed it over to the jester... Phineas looked down at what he wrote with a smirk, "gee thanks Voly... that's so sweet and romantical of you," she declared before she pressed her painted lips down against the page just under his signature leaving a faint outline. Then after Volo suggested they get started on the task at hand Phineas slammed the book shut and thrust it into her pack, "sure, sure, don't get your knickers in a twist... Cheeky and I are on the job!"

Phineas looked down at her goblin sidekick and urged him along in front of her, "come on, come on let's go fetch Floon the Loon... off to the Screwed Dragon!" The plucky jester suddenly paused... turned back... and gave Volo a flirtatious grin as she blew him a kiss goodbye, "toodles Voly, don't take any wooden dragons!" She giggled!

As she strutted towards the door Phineas swung her Lute round in front of her and began to play... with Cheeky on back up... the pair made their musical exit as they headed outside and towards the dock ward!

Make a History check for Phineas, please.

Phineas and Cheeky certainly attract a lot of attention on their way through the Dock Ward, some of it pleasant, like children dancing to their tune around them, some of it unwelcome, such as jeers and comments about how goblins should not be allowed in civilization. Cheeky does not seem to mind, or maybe even notice, the insults to his person, and keeps playing a lively tune.

As they turn a corner, Phineas and Cheeky find themselves on a street that has been cordoned off by the City Watch. Lying on the cobblestones are a half-dozen corpses, seemingly the victims of some terrible skirmish. Watch officers have disarmed and arrested three blood-drenched humans and are in the midst of questioning witnesses. One of the officers sees you. “Get on,” she says. “Nothing to see here.”

Phineas: History 5

The plucky jester stared in awe at the sight of the half-dozen or corpses and turned her gaze towards the Watch officer who announced there was nothing to see and to move along. "What do you mean, nothing to see? I see plenty I do! And that dead one over there" she whimpered pointing her finger, "is my dear sweet uncle Sneaky Pete, the one next to him is my kissing cousin Slick Willie but we won't speak of that shall we. Oh no and the other one next to him is my fiancé twice removed," she cried out in the deep depths of despair Deception 24, "the bastards, the bloody bastards killed me entire family and left me a little orphan child. Oh, woe is me, who did this, who killed him?" The jester demanded as she started to beg and plead Persuasion 12, "at least have the common decency to let me show my last respects and kiss em goodbye all proper-like... please!" She whined and wailed...

Not waiting for permission and a firm believer that it's always best to ask for forgiveness afterward than permission beforehand which is one of her core founding beliefs! Phineas tried her best in her mock grief to rush past the city watch Acrobatics 24 to bend down over to the bodies to get a better look at them Investigation 12 and try to size up the puzzle pieces of the crime scene and if they are all the way dead, instead of mostly dead... as is the custom... go through their pockets Sleight of Hand 17 for loose change.

"Hey--wait, you!" the guard says as Phineas and Cheeky run past him. The two manage to squeeze past a second set of guards and get to the bodies. The first thing Phineas notices about the bodies is that several of them have tattoos of eyeballs, sure signs that they belonged to Xanathar's Guild. Several of the other corpses bear no markings at all.

Phineas is able to pocket 10 gp worth of loose coinage before she feels a hand on either shoulder, and looks up to see she is surrounded by five furious guards. "Young lady, you're coming with us," says the guard she initially rushed past, a handsome man in his late thirties, with a day's worth of stubble showing on his face. "Now."

Phineas groans without looking up, "what do ya mean coming with us?" She started to complain up until the moment she got a better look at the handsome man and giggled, "hubba, hubba, hubba, ain't you a cutie-pie. I like the cut of your jib young man. Sure thing, I'd go anywhere with you!" She said as she stood up, "I admit that I am feeling a bit peckish... it's right kind of you to offer to buy a lady some dinner. We can discuss the case... I take it you've already sent some boys to collect Floon Blagmaar for me? He has a lot of explaining to do!"

The plucky jester gave the man a flirtatious smile, "which way then my good man?" She asked offering her arm to the bohunk so he could escort her like a proper lady...

The guards all give each other worried glances, while the handsome guard turns bright red. "I apologize, miss," he says. "I didn't realize you were... unwell. Please, leave this scene at once, and we won't have you arrested."

Phineas looked at Cheeky and they both shrugged and just walked away without another word headed once more toward the docks. As they walked along feeling hungry Phineas kept an eye out for a vendor that sold barbeque rat on a stick. Then they'll find a nice spot to sit and rest to take a little break where they can eat. As they enjoy their meal Phineas will pull out Volo's book and check to see if it has any information about Xanathar's Guild. She'll also take a moment to unwrap the package that they had picked up to see what was inside.