Xaexili, is a high elf noble, a member of one of the oldest Elvish families known as the Tiliaen. Daughter of Xorli & Yivixae Tiliaen, she is the only daughter and heir to the kingdom. Though she has 5 older brothers; Xivae, Lixi, Voxiyor, Tixilae, and Qixo, it is tradition that only the 1st daughter is destined as heir. Had her parents failed to produce a female heir, the kingdom would then fall and the contract created between the Tiliaen Kingdom and Doriath Kingdom would render the family hand over their kingdom to Doraith. This agreement was made countless centuries prior in order to secure allyship and peace between the two kingdoms in secrecy.
As Xaexili was the only heir and her mother was unable to bear more children, Xaexili felt an immense burden and weight on her shoulders to carry out her duties and secure the future of the Tiliaen Kingdom. She'd spend her days honing her skills in spellcasting and shadowing beneathe her father Yivixae's tutelage.
Heavily guarded, and protected, she was never allowed to leave the kingdom. For only her brothers were granted with the freedoms to explore and adventure alongside other high elves. Xaexili was considered far too precious and valuable due to her being the only daughter and if anything were to happen to her, the kingdom would fall to ruin. At 27 she was still considered but a young child until proven worthy of coronation. Her mother was crowned at age 14, and was the 3rd daughter out of 12 siblings. With 8 sisters, her mother Xorli was permitted to adventure outside of the kingdom, mastering her craft as early as the age of 7. Xorli at the time wasn't considered the 1st heir until the age of 13 after her 2 older sisters died in battle. The times and circumstances were far different back then, due to at the time having 8 daughters at the kingdom's disposal, they were allowed to train more intensely and face greater dangers for the betterment of the family.
"How will I ever earn the respect of my kingdom and be considered worthy of protecting it if I'm not permitted to step foot outside of this kingdom?" Xaexili would protest constantly to her unwavering parents. "My child, you are being trained by our most skilled elves who have risked their lives countless times outside of these walls in order for you to aquire these forbidden skills and knowledge so that you may apply them here, WITHIN, the kingdom..they do this so that you may remain safe, how many times must we get through to you how important you are, how important your duty to the kingdom is-" Retorts Yivixae.
There he goes again, Xaexili thinks to herself, "Still calling me a child...they claim training only within the kingdom will prepare me for coronation, yet they refuse to give me the respect as an adult. There's no way they'd ever truly see me as an equal, ready to rule the kingdom without true experience outside of the kingdom." Xaexili continues to pace back and forth in her bedroom located in the Hightower, she stops for a moment and gazes outside of her window overlooking the entire kindgom.. she notices out west in the distance 8 High elves armed up and preparing to adventure outside of the walls into the wilderness near the west gate.
Slamming both hands down on her gold lined window pane, she whispers under her breath with a cunning smirk, "If they won't allow me to ever leave this kingdom on their accord, then I'll just have to sneak out on my OWN accord. I'll prove to them and everyone in this kingdom that I'm fit to rule, that I can survive outside of these walls, and that I'm most definitely NOT a child anymore."
Thankfully it’s nearly as long as I expected from the chapter 1 in the title. That said it’s still too long. You’re writing a novel not a backstory. The basic idea of the headstrong royal heir is somewhat reasonable but your ages are a bit off. 7?, 13? 15? Even 27?. the PHB sets the “typical” adult age ( physical, emotional, intellectual) at around 100 out of a life 700-800 years. I could see the complaints if she were 120-170 but not at 27 - that’s the elven equivalent of running away from home at 5-6.
Think 20 out of 100 years for humans or @ 20% of life as a “child” for humans, the equivalent for elves would be @ 140-160 years for elves. Cutting that 20 down to @ 15 cuts the elven version down to 100-120 for elves and your PC’s age would be around 150.
You also haven’t made clear just what sorts of skills she has. Is she a mage? A warrior? Some of both? What skills/abilities does she have that would allow her to survive an adventurer’s life?
Ah yes!! Thank you so much for the critique, I'm super new and still learning and you've made a ton of good points, I'll change the ages around, and make some updates and clairify the skillset
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"Xaexili Tiliaen" pronunciation[ Zay-Zee-Lee ; Tee-Lee-eh-yin]
Backstory
Ch. 1 "The Only Heir."
Xaexili, is a high elf noble, a member of one of the oldest Elvish families known as the Tiliaen. Daughter of Xorli & Yivixae Tiliaen, she is the only daughter and heir to the kingdom. Though she has 5 older brothers; Xivae, Lixi, Voxiyor, Tixilae, and Qixo, it is tradition that only the 1st daughter is destined as heir. Had her parents failed to produce a female heir, the kingdom would then fall and the contract created between the Tiliaen Kingdom and Doriath Kingdom would render the family hand over their kingdom to Doraith. This agreement was made countless centuries prior in order to secure allyship and peace between the two kingdoms in secrecy.
As Xaexili was the only heir and her mother was unable to bear more children, Xaexili felt an immense burden and weight on her shoulders to carry out her duties and secure the future of the Tiliaen Kingdom. She'd spend her days honing her skills in spellcasting and shadowing beneathe her father Yivixae's tutelage.
Heavily guarded, and protected, she was never allowed to leave the kingdom. For only her brothers were granted with the freedoms to explore and adventure alongside other high elves. Xaexili was considered far too precious and valuable due to her being the only daughter and if anything were to happen to her, the kingdom would fall to ruin. At 27 she was still considered but a young child until proven worthy of coronation. Her mother was crowned at age 14, and was the 3rd daughter out of 12 siblings. With 8 sisters, her mother Xorli was permitted to adventure outside of the kingdom, mastering her craft as early as the age of 7. Xorli at the time wasn't considered the 1st heir until the age of 13 after her 2 older sisters died in battle. The times and circumstances were far different back then, due to at the time having 8 daughters at the kingdom's disposal, they were allowed to train more intensely and face greater dangers for the betterment of the family.
"How will I ever earn the respect of my kingdom and be considered worthy of protecting it if I'm not permitted to step foot outside of this kingdom?" Xaexili would protest constantly to her unwavering parents. "My child, you are being trained by our most skilled elves who have risked their lives countless times outside of these walls in order for you to aquire these forbidden skills and knowledge so that you may apply them here, WITHIN, the kingdom..they do this so that you may remain safe, how many times must we get through to you how important you are, how important your duty to the kingdom is-" Retorts Yivixae.
There he goes again, Xaexili thinks to herself, "Still calling me a child...they claim training only within the kingdom will prepare me for coronation, yet they refuse to give me the respect as an adult. There's no way they'd ever truly see me as an equal, ready to rule the kingdom without true experience outside of the kingdom." Xaexili continues to pace back and forth in her bedroom located in the Hightower, she stops for a moment and gazes outside of her window overlooking the entire kindgom.. she notices out west in the distance 8 High elves armed up and preparing to adventure outside of the walls into the wilderness near the west gate.
Slamming both hands down on her gold lined window pane, she whispers under her breath with a cunning smirk, "If they won't allow me to ever leave this kingdom on their accord, then I'll just have to sneak out on my OWN accord. I'll prove to them and everyone in this kingdom that I'm fit to rule, that I can survive outside of these walls, and that I'm most definitely NOT a child anymore."
Thankfully it’s nearly as long as I expected from the chapter 1 in the title. That said it’s still too long. You’re writing a novel not a backstory. The basic idea of the headstrong royal heir is somewhat reasonable but your ages are a bit off. 7?, 13? 15? Even 27?. the PHB sets the “typical” adult age ( physical, emotional, intellectual) at around 100 out of a life 700-800 years. I could see the complaints if she were 120-170 but not at 27 - that’s the elven equivalent of running away from home at 5-6.
Think 20 out of 100 years for humans or @ 20% of life as a “child” for humans, the equivalent for elves would be @ 140-160 years for elves. Cutting that 20 down to @ 15 cuts the elven version down to 100-120 for elves and your PC’s age would be around 150.
You also haven’t made clear just what sorts of skills she has. Is she a mage? A warrior? Some of both? What skills/abilities does she have that would allow her to survive an adventurer’s life?
Wisea$$ DM and Player since 1979.
Ah yes!! Thank you so much for the critique, I'm super new and still learning and you've made a ton of good points, I'll change the ages around, and make some updates and clairify the skillset