I could use some feedback & critique on my backstory ^^
Setting
The world the campaign is set in is homebrew. The antagonist in my backstory is already the main antagonist of the party. The location mentioned at the end, is also from the campaign.
My character has died. So, I've spent the last week creating, molding and writing a new character. We're all level 5.
The other members of the party are - An Aasimar Drakewarden Ranger who uses a whip, with an AC of 15. - The melee fighter of the party. - A Vampire Changeling Glamour Bard with mostly support spells, with an AC of 13. - The support of the party. - An Elf Scribe Wizard who has boots of flying, with an AC of 13. - The mage of the party. ( - A Psi Warrior fighter who mostly uses a musket, with an AC of 14. - The ranged attacker of the party. (the happy go lucky person)
My character that died is a Hadozee Path of the Giant Barbarian, with an AC of 17, who mostly liked to swing his hammer around. He was the tank and main melee DPS of the party, always being at the front and always hitting hard, and tanking the most hits.
The New Character
The new character is Miya, an Astral Elf, Runechild Sorcerer (matt mercer's) and Echo Knight Fighter. Her AC is 16. Her body is covered in arcane runes, which is what glows when she casts a spell, like the magic comes from the runes on her body. She often looks smug and loves to tease. She has a high charisma, and a high strength.
Her sister Maaya, and is/was an Astral Elf Runechild Sorcerer and Wildfire Druid.
They are 2 sisters in 1 body 2 souls. They are able to switch places once per long rest (homebrew background from dndbeyond with many upvotes, dm is completely fine with it) They share the same Str, Dex and Con, but can have a different Int, Wis and Cha.
Now onto the actual backstory, the reason for my post!
My DM will also read it, but I would just like some extra feedback and such, before this becomes the final version before she joins the campaign.
Backstory Summary
Born under the rare Shrouded Crescent Moon, Miya and Maaya were marked from birth by glowing arcane runes, a sign of a Runechild.
They grew up in a small volcanic mining town where their mother, Elyssira, a powerful rune sorceress, and their father, Caereth, a master blacksmith for the local lord, raised them with love, knowledge, and strength. Their bond as twins was unbreakable — Miya, the bold and spirited fire; Maaya, the calm and reflective moon.
Tragedy struck a nearby volcano erupted, killing their parents. Orphaned at 17, the sisters survived with each other, who later moved in with a local druid named Miranda. Maaya learned druidcraft from her, and together they pursued their mother’s old studies of ancient rune magic.
Years later, they discovered a lost ritual in their mothers documents, said to being able to send your soul back in time, but it was never tested before. While performing it in a ruined temple of Sehanine the Moonweaver a year later, scholars from the Brightstar Academy interfered. In the chaos, Maaya was struck and killed, but the unstable ritual bound her soul to Miya’s body, fusing them.
Now, Miya and Maaya share one body, alternating control once a day. When one fights, the other appears as her summoned spirit — Maaya as an echo knight when Miya leads, Miya as wildfire spirit when Maaya does. They now search for a way to restore Maaya’s body, learn what truly happened, and uncover Sehanine’s will in their fate — all while hunting those responsible at Brightstar Academy.
Their goal: to become two sisters again, in two bodies — or die trying.
Full Backstory
Miya and Maaya were born beneath the pale glow of the Shrouded Crescent Moon — an event known to elves that marks divine mystery, and veiled destinies. It is said children born under this moon carry threads of fate woven by Sehanine the Moonweaver herself, the goddess of dreams, secrets, and souls. — From the moment they took their first breath, their bodies were adorned with luminous Arcane Runes, shifting faintly beneath their skin like starlight etched in flesh, a clear sign of their Runechild bloodline. Arcane Runes, drawn on their skin over many many years by their mother.
Their small town — no name worth remembering outside its own borders — rested quietly against the cliff of a dormant volcano, near ancient adamantine mines where her father, Caereth, served as a master armor smith for the local lord. Their mother, Elyssira, a stoic and radiant woman, was a Rune-Sorcerer and an advisor to the local lord. Often seen in ivory silk, her red hair, flowing like wildfire under the moonlight, stood out among the elven inhabitants of the town. Their father was the heart of the home, who adored his daughters, coming home with coal smeared hands every day. Elyssira was more graceful, calm and brilliant. She would often pray and make offerings to Sehanine.
Elyssira taught them magic, writing, horse riding, dancing, and Caereth taught them fighting, cooking, and even drinking.
Miya, like a wildfire spirit, climbed trees, sang while running through the streets, sparred with her dad, often got in trouble for the mess she would make The townspeople loved her nonetheless. Maaya, like a moonlight reflection was more reserved, calm, shy, like her mother. Weaving songs into spells, reading and writing. These 2 sisters, while being polar opposites, were inseparable. Miya would often take Maaya with her, anywhere, to do crazy things. They developed an almost telepathic bond — finishing each other’s sentences, sensing each other’s emotions, coordinating effortlessly in anything they did. They didn’t just trust one another — they were one another.
Then one day the mountain shook. An eruption, sudden and merciless, claimed the lives of many, including their parents and the forge. Their dad tried to help protect the village from the lava, and their mother used magic, in the hopes to stop the volcano, but both gave their life in the process. The sisters, 17 years old, now had to survive, live without their parents. They survived, but the foundation of their world cracked in half. They buried their family with trembling hands, just the 2 of them. The town helped them hold onto the house and provided them with food, but the warmth of their home was gone. All they had was each other. They clung to that bond, even more so than before.
Years passed, and they had moved on from their parents house, into the home of a local old druid named Miranda. Miranda didn't raise them, but she took care of them, gave them the warmth of a home lived in, the warmth of an extra soul, and taught Maaya all about druid craft. Their happiness and joy had returned to them, and so did their runes glow once more, like echoes of their mothers hands.
Searching for relics and old notes from their mother, tales and books about runes, they came across texts, whispers, of a forgotten temple of Sehanine, and an ancient ritual, one meant to awaken the soul. With the power of the Shrouded Crescent Moon, letting your soul go back in time. All these texts sounded theoretical and untested. Astonished by this, the sisters wanted to go back in time to warn their town, their parents, of the impeding doom of the mountain. The sisters left the comfort of the druid's home, and onwards to this temple. More than year passed before they arrived and did all the preparations. Was it fate? Was it Sehanine watching over them, giving them a sign to do this?
As they prepared this ritual in the ruined Sehanine temple, started the incantations, and ancient arcane lights shot up from all corners, a group of scholars in robes interrupted the ritual. They didn't understand what was happening, or perhaps they did. One of them casts a spell, misjudged its force — Maaya was struck. She collapsed mid-incantation, her body fell like a leaf in silence. Instead of her runes fading, they started to glow.
The moment Maaya's heart stopped, the ritual went out of control, it pulsed with light, wild uncontrollable. Instead of the ritual spell dissipating, it bound, transformed. The arcane energy reshaped into something else, something desperate. Maaya's body vanished in the light of the ritual. Maaya's soul was pulled into Miya. The ritual stone floor cracked open, swallowing the chamber in darkness, and collapsing the remaining part of the temple. The scholars fled the scene, along with the papers that the sisters had with them.
Miya awoke, crying, screaming, begging the moon to give her sister back. Then a voice whispered; "I'm still here". This was Maaya's voice. Maaya's soul as now bound to Miya's, and together they inhabit one body.
Twin Sisters. Forever bound. From that day, they shared everything: thoughts, sensations, emotions... every breath, every heartbeat, every whisper..
Some days Miya would control her own body, and other days, Maaya would be in control, while the other watches, hears, and speaks to their sister. And when it's time to fight, one would summon the spirit of the other to fight alongside her. Never alone, always together. Maaya would become an Echo Knight, fighting alongside Miya.
In silence of the night, Miya sometimes sings her mothers lullaby to Maaya. “Crescent low and silver spun, Hide the soul from wrath and sun. Split the breath and shadow true, One for me, and one for you.”
Now they travel, searching for the ones who interrupted the ritual, the wizards of the Brightstar Academy — who they have now learned were the scholars that killed Maaya and interrupted the ritual. In Search for a way to be whole again — two bodies, two souls, two sisters, a 2nd chance. A ritual. A long forgotten temple. A way to build a new body or regain her old one — one worthy of Maaya's spirit. And maybe.... Just maybe... Take revenge on the the Brightstar Academy!
They travel for years, 6 years in fact. Having learned to share one body, to work together, these sisters have grown closer than ever before. Working together like one. During their long travel, they have gone back home once, visit their parents home, which was now left in disrepair. They Met the local lord who gave them a special armor that their dad once made. It was meant for him, but he died before he was ever given it as a present. They learn from the local lord that they have a wealthy aunt in Marnett, a capital very far from home. Sadly, neither the sisters nor the lord knows who the aunt is.
The moon moves forward! the stars move forward! So will they!
NOTES
I copied the story from my homebrewery document of my character.
While I wrote the story and character all by myself, I sometimes consulted ChatGPT to make some sentences sound better. (not a native English speaker)
The 2 spirit, 1 body idea was inspired by Beyond Two Souls, but a direct copy of the game would be too overpowered in DnD. (using the dual soul homebrew background)
is the antagonist brightstar academy and its wizards or some other person. If it is someone else where were they mentioned in the story? Other than that it really good and sounds like the character would come to life really well and have motivation to travel the world.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Just a goober doing my own work when I want to. I like the idea of not just high fantasy dnd.
You can reach me over discord as well, Handle is royalsupsi as well
I am open to work on joint homebrew projects, just DM me.
All my projects so far are in the extended signiture
is the antagonist brightstar academy and its wizards or some other person. If it is someone else where were they mentioned in the story? Other than that it really good and sounds like the character would come to life really well and have motivation to travel the world.
The main antagonist of the campaign is the Brightstar Academy (wizard school), or rather it's professors and headmasters.
The current party is already dealing with some of the big bad people of that academy in the campaign, they already see the Academy as their enemy. There is a dangerous mist in the country that alters time, space and alters monsters, but so far that danger and world problem has been secondary to the Brightstar Academy, which is front and center for our party currently. (and ties in to the backstory of 3 of our other members)
Well the only think I can say is that it may help to have a shorter version made up of bullet points of various important parts, essentially the bare bones. Cause it may be a bit hard on the dm to try and skim certain parts of your backstory for plot when he has to make sure that it lines up with everything else.
I could use some feedback & critique on my backstory ^^
Setting
The world the campaign is set in is homebrew.
The antagonist in my backstory is already the main antagonist of the party.
The location mentioned at the end, is also from the campaign.
My character has died.
So, I've spent the last week creating, molding and writing a new character.
We're all level 5.
The other members of the party are
- An Aasimar Drakewarden Ranger who uses a whip, with an AC of 15. - The melee fighter of the party.
- A Vampire Changeling Glamour Bard with mostly support spells, with an AC of 13. - The support of the party.
- An Elf Scribe Wizard who has boots of flying, with an AC of 13. - The mage of the party. (
- A Psi Warrior fighter who mostly uses a musket, with an AC of 14. - The ranged attacker of the party. (the happy go lucky person)
My character that died is a Hadozee Path of the Giant Barbarian, with an AC of 17, who mostly liked to swing his hammer around.
He was the tank and main melee DPS of the party, always being at the front and always hitting hard, and tanking the most hits.
The New Character
The new character is Miya, an Astral Elf, Runechild Sorcerer (matt mercer's) and Echo Knight Fighter. Her AC is 16.
Her body is covered in arcane runes, which is what glows when she casts a spell, like the magic comes from the runes on her body.
She often looks smug and loves to tease. She has a high charisma, and a high strength.
Her sister Maaya, and is/was an Astral Elf Runechild Sorcerer and Wildfire Druid.
They are 2 sisters in 1 body 2 souls. They are able to switch places once per long rest (homebrew background from dndbeyond with many upvotes, dm is completely fine with it)
They share the same Str, Dex and Con, but can have a different Int, Wis and Cha.
Now onto the actual backstory, the reason for my post!
My DM will also read it, but I would just like some extra feedback and such, before this becomes the final version before she joins the campaign.
Backstory Summary
Born under the rare Shrouded Crescent Moon, Miya and Maaya were marked from birth by glowing arcane runes, a sign of a Runechild.
They grew up in a small volcanic mining town where their mother, Elyssira, a powerful rune sorceress, and their father, Caereth, a master blacksmith for the local lord, raised them with love, knowledge, and strength. Their bond as twins was unbreakable — Miya, the bold and spirited fire; Maaya, the calm and reflective moon.
Tragedy struck a nearby volcano erupted, killing their parents.
Orphaned at 17, the sisters survived with each other, who later moved in with a local druid named Miranda.
Maaya learned druidcraft from her, and together they pursued their mother’s old studies of ancient rune magic.
Years later, they discovered a lost ritual in their mothers documents, said to being able to send your soul back in time, but it was never tested before.
While performing it in a ruined temple of Sehanine the Moonweaver a year later, scholars from the Brightstar Academy interfered.
In the chaos, Maaya was struck and killed, but the unstable ritual bound her soul to Miya’s body, fusing them.
Now, Miya and Maaya share one body, alternating control once a day.
When one fights, the other appears as her summoned spirit — Maaya as an echo knight when Miya leads, Miya as wildfire spirit when Maaya does.
They now search for a way to restore Maaya’s body, learn what truly happened, and uncover Sehanine’s will in their fate — all while hunting those responsible at Brightstar Academy.
Their goal: to become two sisters again, in two bodies — or die trying.
Full Backstory
Miya and Maaya were born beneath the pale glow of the Shrouded Crescent Moon — an event known to elves that marks divine mystery, and veiled destinies.
It is said children born under this moon carry threads of fate woven by Sehanine the Moonweaver herself, the goddess of dreams, secrets, and souls. — From the moment they took their first breath, their bodies were adorned with luminous Arcane Runes, shifting faintly beneath their skin like starlight etched in flesh, a clear sign of their Runechild bloodline.
Arcane Runes, drawn on their skin over many many years by their mother.
Their small town — no name worth remembering outside its own borders — rested quietly against the cliff of a dormant volcano, near ancient adamantine mines where her father, Caereth, served as a master armor smith for the local lord.
Their mother, Elyssira, a stoic and radiant woman, was a Rune-Sorcerer and an advisor to the local lord.
Often seen in ivory silk, her red hair, flowing like wildfire under the moonlight, stood out among the elven inhabitants of the town.
Their father was the heart of the home, who adored his daughters, coming home with coal smeared hands every day.
Elyssira was more graceful, calm and brilliant. She would often pray and make offerings to Sehanine.
Elyssira taught them magic, writing, horse riding, dancing, and Caereth taught them fighting, cooking, and even drinking.
Miya, like a wildfire spirit, climbed trees, sang while running through the streets, sparred with her dad, often got in trouble for the mess she would make
The townspeople loved her nonetheless.
Maaya, like a moonlight reflection was more reserved, calm, shy, like her mother. Weaving songs into spells, reading and writing.
These 2 sisters, while being polar opposites, were inseparable.
Miya would often take Maaya with her, anywhere, to do crazy things. They developed an almost telepathic bond — finishing each other’s sentences, sensing each other’s emotions, coordinating effortlessly in anything they did. They didn’t just trust one another — they were one another.
Then one day the mountain shook. An eruption, sudden and merciless, claimed the lives of many, including their parents and the forge.
Their dad tried to help protect the village from the lava, and their mother used magic, in the hopes to stop the volcano, but both gave their life in the process.
The sisters, 17 years old, now had to survive, live without their parents.
They survived, but the foundation of their world cracked in half.
They buried their family with trembling hands, just the 2 of them.
The town helped them hold onto the house and provided them with food, but the warmth of their home was gone.
All they had was each other. They clung to that bond, even more so than before.
Years passed, and they had moved on from their parents house, into the home of a local old druid named Miranda.
Miranda didn't raise them, but she took care of them, gave them the warmth of a home lived in, the warmth of an extra soul, and taught Maaya all about druid craft.
Their happiness and joy had returned to them, and so did their runes glow once more, like echoes of their mothers hands.
Searching for relics and old notes from their mother, tales and books about runes, they came across texts, whispers, of a forgotten temple of Sehanine, and an ancient ritual, one meant to awaken the soul. With the power of the Shrouded Crescent Moon, letting your soul go back in time.
All these texts sounded theoretical and untested.
Astonished by this, the sisters wanted to go back in time to warn their town, their parents, of the impeding doom of the mountain.
The sisters left the comfort of the druid's home, and onwards to this temple. More than year passed before they arrived and did all the preparations. Was it fate? Was it Sehanine watching over them, giving them a sign to do this?
As they prepared this ritual in the ruined Sehanine temple, started the incantations, and ancient arcane lights shot up from all corners, a group of scholars in robes interrupted the ritual. They didn't understand what was happening, or perhaps they did.
One of them casts a spell, misjudged its force — Maaya was struck.
She collapsed mid-incantation, her body fell like a leaf in silence.
Instead of her runes fading, they started to glow.
The moment Maaya's heart stopped, the ritual went out of control, it pulsed with light, wild uncontrollable.
Instead of the ritual spell dissipating, it bound, transformed.
The arcane energy reshaped into something else, something desperate.
Maaya's body vanished in the light of the ritual. Maaya's soul was pulled into Miya.
The ritual stone floor cracked open, swallowing the chamber in darkness, and collapsing the remaining part of the temple.
The scholars fled the scene, along with the papers that the sisters had with them.
Miya awoke, crying, screaming, begging the moon to give her sister back.
Then a voice whispered; "I'm still here". This was Maaya's voice.
Maaya's soul as now bound to Miya's, and together they inhabit one body.
Twin Sisters. Forever bound. From that day, they shared everything: thoughts, sensations, emotions... every breath, every heartbeat, every whisper..
Some days Miya would control her own body, and other days, Maaya would be in control, while the other watches, hears, and speaks to their sister.
And when it's time to fight, one would summon the spirit of the other to fight alongside her.
Never alone, always together. Maaya would become an Echo Knight, fighting alongside Miya.
In silence of the night, Miya sometimes sings her mothers lullaby to Maaya.
“Crescent low and silver spun,
Hide the soul from wrath and sun.
Split the breath and shadow true,
One for me, and one for you.”
Now they travel, searching for the ones who interrupted the ritual, the wizards of the Brightstar Academy — who they have now learned were the scholars that killed Maaya and interrupted the ritual.
In Search for a way to be whole again — two bodies, two souls, two sisters, a 2nd chance.
A ritual. A long forgotten temple.
A way to build a new body or regain her old one — one worthy of Maaya's spirit. And maybe.... Just maybe... Take revenge on the the Brightstar Academy!
They travel for years, 6 years in fact.
Having learned to share one body, to work together, these sisters have grown closer than ever before.
Working together like one. During their long travel, they have gone back home once, visit their parents home, which was now left in disrepair.
They Met the local lord who gave them a special armor that their dad once made. It was meant for him, but he died before he was ever given it as a present.
They learn from the local lord that they have a wealthy aunt in Marnett, a capital very far from home.
Sadly, neither the sisters nor the lord knows who the aunt is.
The moon moves forward! the stars move forward! So will they!
NOTES
is the antagonist brightstar academy and its wizards or some other person. If it is someone else where were they mentioned in the story? Other than that it really good and sounds like the character would come to life really well and have motivation to travel the world.
Just a goober doing my own work when I want to. I like the idea of not just high fantasy dnd.
You can reach me over discord as well, Handle is royalsupsi as well
I am open to work on joint homebrew projects, just DM me.
All my projects so far are in the extended signiture
Extended Sig
The main antagonist of the campaign is the Brightstar Academy (wizard school), or rather it's professors and headmasters.
The current party is already dealing with some of the big bad people of that academy in the campaign, they already see the Academy as their enemy.
There is a dangerous mist in the country that alters time, space and alters monsters, but so far that danger and world problem has been secondary to the Brightstar Academy, which is front and center for our party currently. (and ties in to the backstory of 3 of our other members)
Well the only think I can say is that it may help to have a shorter version made up of bullet points of various important parts, essentially the bare bones. Cause it may be a bit hard on the dm to try and skim certain parts of your backstory for plot when he has to make sure that it lines up with everything else.
nah its a good length if a bit short to fully understand the character, and a good length for a full length campaign.
Just a goober doing my own work when I want to. I like the idea of not just high fantasy dnd.
You can reach me over discord as well, Handle is royalsupsi as well
I am open to work on joint homebrew projects, just DM me.
All my projects so far are in the extended signiture
Extended Sig