DMPC impartiality advice (maybe LMOP spoilers

 I am in a DnD dilemma. I took over as DM on our current campaign (Lost Mines of Phandelver)  due to work commitments part way through so I now have a DMPC. I make all the mistakes on my characters back story (:-p), my drow assassin is no exception. Length, complexity, tragedy, numerous alter egos - she has it all.

However, the level 4 party of 5 adult players (+my DMPC) has now decided to take on the young adult dragon in Thundertree. They have a half credible plan and technically they only have to reduce its HP by half before it decides to fly away. My drow does not want to be there, she sees no purpose in waking and fighing a dragon but (unknown to me because the old DM passed none of his notes over) two of the characters backstories are tied to the dragon.

Trying to be impartial is difficult, I often ask the party what they want her to do, but they dont really know how to use her. Part of her charm is the mystery that surrounds her (they have not long found out she is a drow after many months of playing)

To make things worse I have written a considerable amount of planning material around her, her interactions with Halia, and her back story comes to a head when she meets Nezznar in Drider form)  All with the intention of making a cohesive interesting story for the players and setting up more threads connecting other campaigns.

So, how do you let go of a character you love? I am sure this happen to other groups. How best to handle? I have read a load of post to say DMPC's are generally bad, but this situation has been 'forced' on me.

I thought I could share more details regarding her character and motivations then maybe when the party tells her to do something to  determine her actions via dice role, any thoughts? Its a real shame I would loved to have played her propery.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Gareth

You need to get the character out of the game. The dragon seems like a perfect time -- "you lot are gonna do that? I'm outta here!"

First of all, DMing is just a lot. I get the impression you're not that experienced at it, and trying to run the game and a character is going to divide your attention too many ways, even if you can keep character and DM knowledge separate.

More importantly, the game is supposed to be the players' story. You say you've written material to tie your character into the adventure's plot. That sounds like, at important moments of the adventure, you're going to end up pulling focus and making things about you. That's no fun for the players.

Being a DM is supposed to be fun, but it's a different kind of fun than the players', and you need to accept that your character's story has ended prematurely. You can probably recycle the ideas, and maybe the whole character, in a future game.

Many thanks for taking the time to reply. I have 3 year experience playing with the same group, mostly as DM but its a constant learning experience. Like everone I make 'mistakes', some of which have a positive outcome some that have a less positive end.

You are correct, I am realising now that I cannot play this chatacter and DM completely impartially. She will remain in the module as a shadow NPC, the party will find her handy work from time to time. Though her story will be intertwined with the story it will not be with her as a PC.

Not sure when, if ever i will get to play her. There is no one else in the group with the time or drive to DM but I take great comfort that dispite my shortcommings as DM, they return week after week to play. I thjnk thats the best measure of my DMing.

Thank again for your reply