"Where words fail, swords prevail. Where blood is spilled, my cup is filled" -Cartaphilus
"I have found the answer to the meaning of life. You ask me what the answer is? You already know what the answer to life is. You fear it more than the strike of a viper, the ravages of disease, the ire of a lover. The answer is always death. But death is a gentle mistress with a sweet embrace, and you owe her a debt of restitution. Life is not a gift, it is a loan."
Bard: "I roll to breathe fire at the orcs!"
DM: "Wha- Y-you don't even have that ability!"
The bard, inhaling methane and lighting a candle: "I do now."
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
“Here lies Spontaneous.”
”founder of combustion”
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Typical bard. What a gas bag, such a blow hard.
He was really fond of that song about setting the world on fire, wasn't he?
I recall: “we don’t need no water...” being some of his last words
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We didn't start the fire...
"Where words fail, swords prevail. Where blood is spilled, my cup is filled" -Cartaphilus
"I have found the answer to the meaning of life. You ask me what the answer is? You already know what the answer to life is. You fear it more than the strike of a viper, the ravages of disease, the ire of a lover. The answer is always death. But death is a gentle mistress with a sweet embrace, and you owe her a debt of restitution. Life is not a gift, it is a loan."
The rouge, silently eating popcorn in the background: "Dibs on whatever they're carrying that doesn't burn to a crisp."
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
He didn't start the fire. The bard was always burning since the dragon's last turn... ing.