Doctor Slopnik is running through town, holding a malformed loaf of bread while laughing maniacally.
People stare at him, raising eyebrows and shaking heads, but he isn't causing a disturbance or breaking the law, so he is ignored. Raski stands in front of the tavern, waving at Slopnik.
The enormous man dashes over and holds out the loaf. "You! Friend! Taste! It's almost like normal bread, yes? It's fluffier and sweeter, yes?"
"Uh... I haven't tasted it, but sure, it's fluffier."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
The enormous man dashes over and holds out the loaf. "You! Friend! Taste! It's almost like normal bread, yes? It's fluffier and sweeter, yes?"
"Uh... I haven't tasted it, but sure, it's fluffier."
"The thing is, this has almost nothing in common with real bread! See the pinkish coloration? That's good ol' Mountain Meat! There's no wheat or gluten or anything like that in it! Soon, I'll be able to make an entire burger out of slop! I just need to find how to replicate fruits and veggies..." He presses the loaf into the rascal's hands.
The enormous man dashes over and holds out the loaf. "You! Friend! Taste! It's almost like normal bread, yes? It's fluffier and sweeter, yes?"
"Uh... I haven't tasted it, but sure, it's fluffier."
"The thing is, this has almost nothing in common with real bread! See the pinkish coloration? That's good ol' Mountain Meat! There's no wheat or gluten or anything like that in it! Soon, I'll be able to make an entire burger out of slop! I just need to find how to replicate fruits and veggies..." He presses the loaf into the rascal's hands.
He takes it. "It's... meat? How do you do that?"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
"The thing is, this has almost nothing in common with real bread! See the pinkish coloration? That's good ol' Mountain Meat! There's no wheat or gluten or anything like that in it! Soon, I'll be able to make an entire burger out of slop! I just need to find how to replicate fruits and veggies..." He presses the loaf into the rascal's hands.
He takes it. "It's... meat? How do you do that?"
"Well, I drill the meat slop up from the mountains, then I process it with certain reagents - company secret, of course - and age the foamy substance for about three days. Then, we cook it, and we get bread! I've had a recipe for slop tortillas and pizza dough, but never once could I get it to puff up like this!" He cackles. "It's cheap as you can imagine, and it has plenty of protein, calories, and sugars in it to keep the brain running! It even has psuedo-carbohydrates!"
A gaunt figure enters the tavern, looking about nervously. His clothes are pieced together from the most clashing of multicoloured fabrics, and a set of pan pipes hangs from around his neck. His overall appearance is dirty and greasy, as if he hasn't been in civilisation for a long time. Over his shoulder is a large sack
A gaunt figure enters the tavern, looking about nervously. His clothes are pieced together from the most clashing of multicoloured fabrics, and a set of pan pipes hangs from around his neck. His overall appearance is dirty and greasy, as if he hasn't been in civilisation for a long time. Over his shoulder is a large sack
Talon glances at the figure and nods to them.
The man nods back. 'Here for the Fall festival?'
"Nah, I live here. Are you?"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
"The thing is, this has almost nothing in common with real bread! See the pinkish coloration? That's good ol' Mountain Meat! There's no wheat or gluten or anything like that in it! Soon, I'll be able to make an entire burger out of slop! I just need to find how to replicate fruits and veggies..." He presses the loaf into the rascal's hands.
He takes it. "It's... meat? How do you do that?"
"Well, I drill the meat slop up from the mountains, then I process it with certain reagents - company secret, of course - and age the foamy substance for about three days. Then, we cook it, and we get bread! I've had a recipe for slop tortillas and pizza dough, but never once could I get it to puff up like this!" He cackles. "It's cheap as you can imagine, and it has plenty of protein, calories, and sugars in it to keep the brain running! It even has psuedo-carbohydrates!"
"It sounds unhealthy..."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
A gaunt figure enters the tavern, looking about nervously. His clothes are pieced together from the most clashing of multicoloured fabrics, and a set of pan pipes hangs from around his neck. His overall appearance is dirty and greasy, as if he hasn't been in civilisation for a long time. Over his shoulder is a large sack
Talon glances at the figure and nods to them.
The man nods back. 'Here for the Fall festival?'
"Nah, I live here. Are you?"
'I guess you could say that. Got some people I'd rather like to avoid, you get my drift?'
A gaunt figure enters the tavern, looking about nervously. His clothes are pieced together from the most clashing of multicoloured fabrics, and a set of pan pipes hangs from around his neck. His overall appearance is dirty and greasy, as if he hasn't been in civilisation for a long time. Over his shoulder is a large sack
Talon glances at the figure and nods to them.
The man nods back. 'Here for the Fall festival?'
"Nah, I live here. Are you?"
'I guess you could say that. Got some people I'd rather like to avoid, you get my drift?'
"For what reason?" He asks suspiciously.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
A gaunt figure enters the tavern, looking about nervously. His clothes are pieced together from the most clashing of multicoloured fabrics, and a set of pan pipes hangs from around his neck. His overall appearance is dirty and greasy, as if he hasn't been in civilisation for a long time. Over his shoulder is a large sack
Talon glances at the figure and nods to them.
The man nods back. 'Here for the Fall festival?'
"Nah, I live here. Are you?"
'I guess you could say that. Got some people I'd rather like to avoid, you get my drift?'
"For what reason?" He asks suspiciously.
'Nothing bad. Freed a bunch of kids. But the mill owner wasn't too pleased'
A gaunt figure enters the tavern, looking about nervously. His clothes are pieced together from the most clashing of multicoloured fabrics, and a set of pan pipes hangs from around his neck. His overall appearance is dirty and greasy, as if he hasn't been in civilisation for a long time. Over his shoulder is a large sack
Talon glances at the figure and nods to them.
The man nods back. 'Here for the Fall festival?'
"Nah, I live here. Are you?"
'I guess you could say that. Got some people I'd rather like to avoid, you get my drift?'
"For what reason?" He asks suspiciously.
'Nothing bad. Freed a bunch of kids. But the mill owner wasn't too pleased'
"Ah, ah. Just checkin, we don't like troublemakers here."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
A gaunt figure enters the tavern, looking about nervously. His clothes are pieced together from the most clashing of multicoloured fabrics, and a set of pan pipes hangs from around his neck. His overall appearance is dirty and greasy, as if he hasn't been in civilisation for a long time. Over his shoulder is a large sack
Talon glances at the figure and nods to them.
The man nods back. 'Here for the Fall festival?'
"Nah, I live here. Are you?"
'I guess you could say that. Got some people I'd rather like to avoid, you get my drift?'
"For what reason?" He asks suspiciously.
'Nothing bad. Freed a bunch of kids. But the mill owner wasn't too pleased'
"Ah, ah. Just checkin, we don't like troublemakers here."
'I don't make trouble. Unless someone tries to make trouble with me. The name's Feuerstein, by the way'
"Well, I drill the meat slop up from the mountains, then I process it with certain reagents - company secret, of course - and age the foamy substance for about three days. Then, we cook it, and we get bread! I've had a recipe for slop tortillas and pizza dough, but never once could I get it to puff up like this!" He cackles. "It's cheap as you can imagine, and it has plenty of protein, calories, and sugars in it to keep the brain running! It even has psuedo-carbohydrates!"
"It sounds unhealthy..."
He slowly frowns, his teeth still on full display. "So? A lot of people would be happy to have anything at all. This is for those who can't afford real bread."
She dashes backwards, choking out a sob, before yelling out, "I'M SORRY!" as a mental assault attacks it's mind. DC 20 INT save of take 76 psychic damage, and no longer be able to take the magic action.
Magical energy bursts out of the scorpion as its shape shrinks to a horned, lavender-skinned girl seemingly in her early 20s. "Yeesh! Going a little hard, huh? Sorry, that happens every so often. The potion's supposed to prevent it, but..."
*ta-da! Thanks for helping with a cinematic intro*
"Oh! You're okay. Good. You're safe. What was that?!"
"It's a long story. If you send us back to the tavern, I'll buy you a drink and explain it."
"Alright. c'mon, then, lets see if you destryoyed the teleportation circle or not!"
The teleportation sigils are all in good condition. "Basically, I'm a shapeshifter. Sometimes my magic gets out of control, and I start losing control. The energy needs to be released, and I change into some kind of kaiju. I can brew potions to prevent it, but I messed the last one up."
"Hmmm... I'm not as gifted in the art of brewery as I'd like to be, but I think I might be able to help you with your problem!"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The clocks run out, too late to wake up. You're locked under this nightmare's thumb. Begging you hide and run.
"Hmmm... I'm not as gifted in the art of brewery as I'd like to be, but I think I might be able to help you with your problem!"
She shakes her head. "I prefer to brew them myself. I tried to cut the cost for the last one. That [GP]er said that eye of gecko would work just as well as eye of newt. Oh, if I could get my hands on him..." Her eyes become more beast-like, changing shape.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Pokemon Master, Hero of Hyrule, Jedi Knight, Minecrafter, Celestial Being Beyond Comprehension, Bounty Hunter, Salmon Runner, Nailmaster, Yarn Yoshi Enjoyer, Animal Lover, Math Rock Roller, Nerd King in all Aspects.
(And, of course, Dragon Tamer. It is in the name, after all!)
"Hmmm... I'm not as gifted in the art of brewery as I'd like to be, but I think I might be able to help you with your problem!"
She shakes her head. "I prefer to brew them myself. I tried to cut the cost for the last one. That [GP]er said that eye of gecko would work just as well as eye of newt. Oh, if I could get my hands on him..." Her eyes become more beast-like, changing shape.
"... I think you should maybe calm down...?"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The clocks run out, too late to wake up. You're locked under this nightmare's thumb. Begging you hide and run.
"Well, I drill the meat slop up from the mountains, then I process it with certain reagents - company secret, of course - and age the foamy substance for about three days. Then, we cook it, and we get bread! I've had a recipe for slop tortillas and pizza dough, but never once could I get it to puff up like this!" He cackles. "It's cheap as you can imagine, and it has plenty of protein, calories, and sugars in it to keep the brain running! It even has psuedo-carbohydrates!"
"It sounds unhealthy..."
He slowly frowns, his teeth still on full display. "So? A lot of people would be happy to have anything at all. This is for those who can't afford real bread."
"Very true. Very true. My old village would have been happy to have that. My dad was a knight, so I never needed to be worried about food, but my friends..."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
A gaunt figure enters the tavern, looking about nervously. His clothes are pieced together from the most clashing of multicoloured fabrics, and a set of pan pipes hangs from around his neck. His overall appearance is dirty and greasy, as if he hasn't been in civilisation for a long time. Over his shoulder is a large sack
Talon glances at the figure and nods to them.
The man nods back. 'Here for the Fall festival?'
"Nah, I live here. Are you?"
'I guess you could say that. Got some people I'd rather like to avoid, you get my drift?'
"For what reason?" He asks suspiciously.
'Nothing bad. Freed a bunch of kids. But the mill owner wasn't too pleased'
"Ah, ah. Just checkin, we don't like troublemakers here."
'I don't make trouble. Unless someone tries to make trouble with me. The name's Feuerstein, by the way'
He nods. "I'm Talon. Guardian of the Tavern."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
A gaunt figure enters the tavern, looking about nervously. His clothes are pieced together from the most clashing of multicoloured fabrics, and a set of pan pipes hangs from around his neck. His overall appearance is dirty and greasy, as if he hasn't been in civilisation for a long time. Over his shoulder is a large sack
Talon glances at the figure and nods to them.
The man nods back. 'Here for the Fall festival?'
"Nah, I live here. Are you?"
'I guess you could say that. Got some people I'd rather like to avoid, you get my drift?'
"For what reason?" He asks suspiciously.
'Nothing bad. Freed a bunch of kids. But the mill owner wasn't too pleased'
"Ah, ah. Just checkin, we don't like troublemakers here."
'I don't make trouble. Unless someone tries to make trouble with me. The name's Feuerstein, by the way'
He nods. "I'm Talon. Guardian of the Tavern."
'Nice to meet ya. Got to say, I like what I've seen of this town so far'
"Uh... I haven't tasted it, but sure, it's fluffier."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
"The thing is, this has almost nothing in common with real bread! See the pinkish coloration? That's good ol' Mountain Meat! There's no wheat or gluten or anything like that in it! Soon, I'll be able to make an entire burger out of slop! I just need to find how to replicate fruits and veggies..." He presses the loaf into the rascal's hands.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
He takes it. "It's... meat? How do you do that?"
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
"Well, I drill the meat slop up from the mountains, then I process it with certain reagents - company secret, of course - and age the foamy substance for about three days. Then, we cook it, and we get bread! I've had a recipe for slop tortillas and pizza dough, but never once could I get it to puff up like this!" He cackles. "It's cheap as you can imagine, and it has plenty of protein, calories, and sugars in it to keep the brain running! It even has psuedo-carbohydrates!"
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
The man nods back. 'Here for the Fall festival?'
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"Nah, I live here. Are you?"
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
"It sounds unhealthy..."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
'I guess you could say that. Got some people I'd rather like to avoid, you get my drift?'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Boycottify Spotify - No Kings Organizers Call for Spotify Boycott Over ICE Ads
"For what reason?" He asks suspiciously.
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
'Nothing bad. Freed a bunch of kids. But the mill owner wasn't too pleased'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Boycottify Spotify - No Kings Organizers Call for Spotify Boycott Over ICE Ads
"Ah, ah. Just checkin, we don't like troublemakers here."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
'I don't make trouble. Unless someone tries to make trouble with me. The name's Feuerstein, by the way'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Boycottify Spotify - No Kings Organizers Call for Spotify Boycott Over ICE Ads
He slowly frowns, his teeth still on full display. "So? A lot of people would be happy to have anything at all. This is for those who can't afford real bread."
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
"Hmmm... I'm not as gifted in the art of brewery as I'd like to be, but I think I might be able to help you with your problem!"
The clocks run out, too late to wake up.
You're locked under this nightmare's thumb.
Begging you hide and run.
W H A T H A V E I B E C O M E ?
The tall man is wandering around town, looking into the windows of random houses, and basically acting like a dumb tourist.
The clocks run out, too late to wake up.
You're locked under this nightmare's thumb.
Begging you hide and run.
W H A T H A V E I B E C O M E ?
She shakes her head. "I prefer to brew them myself. I tried to cut the cost for the last one. That [GP]er said that eye of gecko would work just as well as eye of newt. Oh, if I could get my hands on him..." Her eyes become more beast-like, changing shape.
Pokemon Master, Hero of Hyrule, Jedi Knight, Minecrafter, Celestial Being Beyond Comprehension, Bounty Hunter, Salmon Runner, Nailmaster, Yarn Yoshi Enjoyer, Animal Lover, Math Rock Roller, Nerd King in all Aspects.
(And, of course, Dragon Tamer. It is in the name, after all!)
Been nowhere, doing nothing
"... I think you should maybe calm down...?"
The clocks run out, too late to wake up.
You're locked under this nightmare's thumb.
Begging you hide and run.
W H A T H A V E I B E C O M E ?
"Very true. Very true. My old village would have been happy to have that. My dad was a knight, so I never needed to be worried about food, but my friends..."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
He nods. "I'm Talon. Guardian of the Tavern."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
'Nice to meet ya. Got to say, I like what I've seen of this town so far'
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