DM: "Alright. He takes a further 7 points of 'ripping' damage as you tear the wound even further open." Player 4: *roars while mimicking rending open a hole, and then his character jumps inside the wound*
EDIT: Later...
Player 4: "I fish my clothes out of the decomposing corpse. Put that back on. 'Sorry, everybody. I did get a little bit carried away.'" Player 3: "'You do that every fight.'"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Definitely a ton of fun. First campaign I actually sought through to the end! Our last game is this December, ending with 150 sessions and over 500 hours.
(I'm confused how I missed Stevethecheese's excellent post. These forums be weird, yo.)
From a stream this morning:
*Player 5's Nemesis/recurring villain [DM] appears from a portal right after the battle with the Giant.* Player 3 to Player 5: "It's ya mate!" Nemesis: "[Player 5], we meet agai--Oh my Gods!" Player 4: "[Nemesis]! Alright, mate?" Nemesis: "Wha- What's happened here? Why is he covered in blood like that?" Player 4: "What?" Nemesis: "That's--" Player 4 *looks at himself - still half naked and drenched in Giant blood and gore* "Oh! Yeah." *laughs* "We've had a day." Nemesis *flustered*: "I wasn't expecting any of this. Can I take it again? I was really kinda thrown." *starts to portal away and stops* "Never mind. Never mind. No time for that. Um..." *Nemesis proceeds to half-heartedly passive-aggressively threaten the party despite having lost all his Nemesistic composure.*
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
dm: il let you cut 2 tenticuls insted of 1 to save time
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Naibs of Dune, I'm the supreme meowster of the cult of cats!, Head lobotomizer of the OIADSB cult, I've got a thieves guild, come join, Warlock main in D2.
Don't forget to love each other!
I play characters at taverns.
[ He/him ] [Shout out to my 11 followers] [ If you think I haven't responded to something check my posts.]
Join Calius & Kothar industries. We have good pay, plus dental! see tavern for details
dm: il let you cut 2 tenticuls insted of 1 to save time
Reminds me of this one anime I watched.
Yes. "Anime" (he says knowingly). *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* Say no more.
Same stream as prior: Player 1 is a Wood Elf on the run. Player 2 is a Barbarian blacksmith just wanting to go home. Player 3 as an Artificer farmer that just wants thing to get back to normal. Player 4 is a High Elf who didn't want to be part of the family business in the Elven kingdom. Player 5 used to be the most powerful sorcerer in the realm until his Nemesis stole nearly all his knowledge and powers.
Notice posted to a... well... post: Player 4:*reading* "'WANTED: In connection to the disappearance of [Player 5],-" Player 5: "THAT'S ME!"😁 Player 4:*reading* "-be warned. The Order of the Weave have reason to believe that shapeshifters are impersonating [Player 5].'" Player 5: "Is there... Is there shapeshifters impersonating me?!" Player 3: "What?" Player 4: "No. You idiot." Player 2: "I don't think so." Player 4:*reading* "'While they may look and sound like him, they will not have even a small fraction of his true abilities. You will know he's not [Player 5] for his lack of magical prowess. This imposter is known to be travelling with the following accomplices. If any are encountered, report at once to the guards:
An Adonis of a man, rippling pectorals, and washboard abs: *Player 2 flexes and points at himself* This man, while incredibly stupid, is a dangerous murderer and should not be trusted nor approached.' *to Player 2* Apparently, that's you." Player 5: "'Stupid.' Yup."
*Player 4 reading* "'A sly, sneaky, stealthy Elf: This man, while charming and handsome' - Correct. - 'is also a dangerous murderer' - Correct. - 'and should not be trusted nor approached.'" Everyone: "Correct."
*Player 4 reading* "'Some farmer guy: I guess you should leave him alone, too, if you feel like it.'"
(EDIT: That's one way to motivate characters that just want to go home, I suppose. The Nemesis didn't even know about Player 1 at the time because she joined after the Nemesis met Player 5's other companions. Player 1 had other obligations and couldn't make the next session. So, this allowed her to scamper away from the unwanted extra attention... and who she considered to be "****in' crazy".)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"You committed arson and killed a political figure without me?!"
(After trying and failing to seduce a 143 year old aasimar high priestess, being called a disgrace to the aasimar race, and being kicked out of a church) "I'll see you in court."
"We can discuss kinkshaming and plant's rights later."
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Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie." Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me. I'm allergic to fireball
You definitely did run because you looked at its stat block, but no matter; someone would need major nerve to not run from a scorpion larger than them.
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Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
A group with low intelligence is one of the funniest groups.
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I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it. Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks. MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Naibs of Dune, I'm the supreme meowster of the cult of cats!, Head lobotomizer of the OIADSB cult, I've got a thieves guild, come join, Warlock main in D2.
Don't forget to love each other!
I play characters at taverns.
[ He/him ] [Shout out to my 11 followers] [ If you think I haven't responded to something check my posts.]
Join Calius & Kothar industries. We have good pay, plus dental! see tavern for details
Our half elf bard went back to send home the enslaved elementals that had belonged to the BBEG the party killed. Before they killed the BBEG, though, they had fought these elementals, and killed three of them, so the remaining ones were not fans, to say the least.
When she got there, she offered to send them home, and naturally they were suspicious. One asked how they knew it wasn't some kind of trick to enslave them again. She said, "I'm way too dumb to come up with a plan like that." She has (9?) Intelligence.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
Also, the half-elf bard intimidated a prisoner to make sure he wouldn't try to escape.
(friendly voice, like talking to a child) "So, you can sit here and not cause any trouble like a good little boy," (in an angry, threatening voice) "or I can give everyone an anatomy lesson."
Needless to say, that was plenty intimidating. XD
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
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Okay! Here's a few.
Amir- Goblin, bard
Vitus- Human, cleric
Bryn- Eldarin, ranger
Xerxes- Tabaxi, bard-barian
Sketch- Shifter, cleric
Prism- Tiefling, sorcerer
1.
Speaking to an illiterate tiefling.
Amir: "Sucks to be you! Take the fricking L."
2.
Vitus: "A whole arm might be a bit much for an unconscious man to eat."
3.
Sailing on the open ocean.
Amir: "Are there tigers in the water?"
Sketch: "Judging by the location, no."
4.
Amir: "Six month year old."
5.
Vitus turned into a neko for a few minutes.
Prism: "Are you a femboy fox?"
6.
Xerxes: "Who is naenae and why did you whip her?"
7.
Xerxes: "What the **** is an American?"
8.
Vitus: "You wanted me to take the penis enlargement pills, now you have to deal with the consequences."
9.
Amir pushed Sketch while she was pregnant.
Sketch: "The blood of the miscarriage is on your tiny green hands."
10.
Before doing something dumb.
Sketch and Xerxes: "If I am perma-dead after this, I did not consent. I want it known."
11.
Fighting a cowardly angel.
Sketch: "This evangelical ******* has no balls!"
12.
The party: "Are we D&Doing it tonight?"
13.
Xerxes: "Let me pinkie your promise."
I want to join your campaign. Sounds like a fun time.
A stream last week: Dealing with a Prone Giant.
DM: "Alright. He takes a further 7 points of 'ripping' damage as you tear the wound even further open."
Player 4: *roars while mimicking rending open a hole, and then his character jumps inside the wound*
EDIT: Later...
Player 4: "I fish my clothes out of the decomposing corpse. Put that back on. 'Sorry, everybody. I did get a little bit carried away.'"
Player 3: "'You do that every fight.'"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Definitely a ton of fun. First campaign I actually sought through to the end! Our last game is this December, ending with 150 sessions and over 500 hours.
(I'm confused how I missed Stevethecheese's excellent post. These forums be weird, yo.)
From a stream this morning:
*Player 5's Nemesis/recurring villain [DM] appears from a portal right after the battle with the Giant.*
Player 3 to Player 5: "It's ya mate!"
Nemesis: "[Player 5], we meet agai--Oh my Gods!"
Player 4: "[Nemesis]! Alright, mate?"
Nemesis: "Wha- What's happened here? Why is he covered in blood like that?"
Player 4: "What?"
Nemesis: "That's--"
Player 4 *looks at himself - still half naked and drenched in Giant blood and gore* "Oh! Yeah." *laughs* "We've had a day."
Nemesis *flustered*: "I wasn't expecting any of this. Can I take it again? I was really kinda thrown." *starts to portal away and stops* "Never mind. Never mind. No time for that. Um..."
*Nemesis proceeds to half-heartedly passive-aggressively threaten the party despite having lost all his Nemesistic composure.*
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
dm: il let you cut 2 tenticuls insted of 1 to save time
Naibs of Dune, I'm the supreme meowster of the cult of cats!, Head lobotomizer of the OIADSB cult, I've got a thieves guild, come join, Warlock main in D2.
Don't forget to love each other!
I play characters at taverns.
[ He/him ] [Shout out to my 11 followers] [ If you think I haven't responded to something check my posts.]
Join Calius & Kothar industries. We have good pay, plus dental! see tavern for details
Reminds me of this one anime I watched.
Yes. "Anime" (he says knowingly). *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* Say no more.
Same stream as prior:
Player 1 is a Wood Elf on the run. Player 2 is a Barbarian blacksmith just wanting to go home. Player 3 as an Artificer farmer that just wants thing to get back to normal. Player 4 is a High Elf who didn't want to be part of the family business in the Elven kingdom. Player 5 used to be the most powerful sorcerer in the realm until his Nemesis stole nearly all his knowledge and powers.
Notice posted to a... well... post:
Player 4: *reading* "'WANTED: In connection to the disappearance of [Player 5],-"
Player 5: "THAT'S ME!"😁
Player 4: *reading* "-be warned. The Order of the Weave have reason to believe that shapeshifters are impersonating [Player 5].'"
Player 5: "Is there... Is there shapeshifters impersonating me?!"
Player 3: "What?"
Player 4: "No. You idiot."
Player 2: "I don't think so."
Player 4: *reading* "'While they may look and sound like him, they will not have even a small fraction of his true abilities. You will know he's not [Player 5] for his lack of magical prowess. This imposter is known to be travelling with the following accomplices. If any are encountered, report at once to the guards:
*Player 2 flexes and points at himself*
This man, while incredibly stupid, is a dangerous murderer and should not be trusted nor approached.'
*to Player 2* Apparently, that's you."
Player 5: "'Stupid.' Yup."
Everyone: "Correct."
(EDIT: That's one way to motivate characters that just want to go home, I suppose. The Nemesis didn't even know about Player 1 at the time because she joined after the Nemesis met Player 5's other companions. Player 1 had other obligations and couldn't make the next session. So, this allowed her to scamper away from the unwanted extra attention... and who she considered to be "****in' crazy".)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"You committed arson and killed a political figure without me?!"
(After trying and failing to seduce a 143 year old aasimar high priestess, being called a disgrace to the aasimar race, and being kicked out of a church) "I'll see you in court."
"We can discuss kinkshaming and plant's rights later."
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken
Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie."
Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings
Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me.
I'm allergic to fireball
The squad is investigating a basement.
Barbarian 1: *rolls an 8*
DM: Welp, this room is real square.
Barbarian 2: Okay, I'll check it out.
Fighter (me): I'll assist.
Barbarian 2: *rolls a 6*
DM: You agree with Dharrut, the room is really square.
Ranger: Okay I'll do it. *rolls an 8*
DM: Now that the others mention it, this room is very square!
Nikolai Buckman | vampire | bard
Solace Redgrove | tiefling | bard
Funniest case of failing investigation checks ever.
OOC: I'm going to start running and this definitely not because i just checked a Giant Scorpion's stat block in the Monster Manual.
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
You definitely did run because you looked at its stat block, but no matter; someone would need major nerve to not run from a scorpion larger than them.
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
wow, those are some STUPID characters. (in character, not OOC. not the people, the characters)
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
A group with low intelligence is one of the funniest groups.
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it.
Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks.
MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Don't even TRY to argue with me about Star Wars.
DM: The [troglodyte boss] growls and lunges at you.
My 300 year old elf: ”You don’t have an evil monologue prepared for us? *sigh* Villains these days.”
“Welp, let’s hope I roll better on my death saves than my Con saves!”
“Fun fact: Smiting a troglodyte’s toenail makes it explode.”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
A homebrew one made for the campaign. He was the god of gambling.
dang i didnt realise that
Naibs of Dune, I'm the supreme meowster of the cult of cats!, Head lobotomizer of the OIADSB cult, I've got a thieves guild, come join, Warlock main in D2.
Don't forget to love each other!
I play characters at taverns.
[ He/him ] [Shout out to my 11 followers] [ If you think I haven't responded to something check my posts.]
Join Calius & Kothar industries. We have good pay, plus dental! see tavern for details
Our half elf bard went back to send home the enslaved elementals that had belonged to the BBEG the party killed. Before they killed the BBEG, though, they had fought these elementals, and killed three of them, so the remaining ones were not fans, to say the least.
When she got there, she offered to send them home, and naturally they were suspicious. One asked how they knew it wasn't some kind of trick to enslave them again. She said, "I'm way too dumb to come up with a plan like that." She has (9?) Intelligence.
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
Also, the half-elf bard intimidated a prisoner to make sure he wouldn't try to escape.
(friendly voice, like talking to a child) "So, you can sit here and not cause any trouble like a good little boy," (in an angry, threatening voice) "or I can give everyone an anatomy lesson."
Needless to say, that was plenty intimidating. XD
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.