I'm pretty sure the goblin came from a land of ogres. you see, a continent away from a worldshaking fight, there is maybe a city of quartz full of emeralds and greedy people. they are at war with ogres and other greenskins, fighting largely via metalic golem proxies and hired adventurers. seeking an end to this war forever, the rumor is they imprisoned assorted greenskinned and used a massive quartz construct (quartz is passively magical, of course, so it was quite useful for amplification) to scrounge their mind for secrets. however, one of the greenskins snuck in an explosive. right as the ritual began, they set it off. the explosive was not strong itself, but it resonated with the quartz,spiraling out of control and destroying the underground research facility, sending all the greenskins flying. an ogre took the brunt of the blast for the goblin, letting it survive, and it flew through so fierce a storm, with balls of water so great, that it nullified their injury on impact with the ground, where they crashed into just outside this facility. I say this while sitting on everyone's head. at once. somehow.
Unfortunately for your sitter, I am wearing one of those spiky helmets. Ouch.
"Aha! I see! After the ogre sacrificed itself, the goblin was so ridden with guilt he tried to drown the memory with drink! When ordinary, mortal booze proved ineffectual, he stole the holy liquor and used it!"
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"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
no, I'm just weird as for the maybe, it's "maybe" because i reason that everyone here is providing their own beliefs, and there are a lot more ways for only some of us to be right then all of us, and my memories may even be faulty given earlier events, so I can't be quite sure. also, I've heard the story only secondhand, so its possible something was left out- like, say, the explosion the facility resonating with the quartz of the city, either exploding it itself or rendering it a fully different material. hence, maybe.
"I dunno, maybe the sorceress manipulated the greenskin into placing the explosive, or maybe she was the greenskin, or maybe she was the ogre that sacrificed itself! I dunno, I'm just spouting out random stuff in the hopes that it makes sense."
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"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
"Um... well shoot." *looks around* "Uhhhhh..." *Puts goblin back and unlocks manacles* "We have ruled that you are exempt from all crimes. For reasons we will not disclose. Heh."
I then eat a bag of potato chips and squat down, eyeing the goblin vvveeeeeeeeeeeery closely.
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"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
No response. I am busy eating what looks like a bit of leather from the shoe of someone in the room and pondering all I see.
I'm pretty sure the goblin came from a land of ogres. you see, a continent away from a worldshaking fight, there is maybe a city of quartz full of emeralds and greedy people. they are at war with ogres and other greenskins, fighting largely via metalic golem proxies and hired adventurers. seeking an end to this war forever, the rumor is they imprisoned assorted greenskinned and used a massive quartz construct (quartz is passively magical, of course, so it was quite useful for amplification) to scrounge their mind for secrets. however, one of the greenskins snuck in an explosive. right as the ritual began, they set it off. the explosive was not strong itself, but it resonated with the quartz,spiraling out of control and destroying the underground research facility, sending all the greenskins flying. an ogre took the brunt of the blast for the goblin, letting it survive, and it flew through so fierce a storm, with balls of water so great, that it nullified their injury on impact with the ground, where they crashed into just outside this facility.
I say this while sitting on everyone's head. at once. somehow.
Unfortunately for your sitter, I am wearing one of those spiky helmets. Ouch.
"Aha! I see! After the ogre sacrificed itself, the goblin was so ridden with guilt he tried to drown the memory with drink! When ordinary, mortal booze proved ineffectual, he stole the holy liquor and used it!"
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
no, I'm just weird
as for the maybe, it's "maybe" because i reason that everyone here is providing their own beliefs, and there are a lot more ways for only some of us to be right then all of us, and my memories may even be faulty given earlier events, so I can't be quite sure. also, I've heard the story only secondhand, so its possible something was left out- like, say, the explosion the facility resonating with the quartz of the city, either exploding it itself or rendering it a fully different material. hence, maybe.
"I dunno, maybe the sorceress manipulated the greenskin into placing the explosive, or maybe she was the greenskin, or maybe she was the ogre that sacrificed itself! I dunno, I'm just spouting out random stuff in the hopes that it makes sense."
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
"Well, regardless, I must take this goblin in! It has stolen the holy liquid of Xcvzctmbl, and must be punished according to their divine law!"
I then proceed to drag the goblin out through the ceiling(somehow).
"And don't try to stop me, or you will be considered accomplices!"
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
I don't know about any sorceresses. I proceed to point out that the goblin might have been framed for steeling this liquor.
"Look. I'm way too lazy to put on a full scale investigation, so I'm just taking this one and being done with it. Bye!"
I continue phasing through the roof, then realize that the goblin can't phase, so I head through the wall hole.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
No U.more seriously, you do realize that doing this would get people fired normally, right?
"Yup! Paladins of beer are exempt from that tho! See ya!"
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
no they aren't. I predict that if you continue to leave, a force of quartz laced metalic golems will attack you in roughly 3D3 minutes.
"Um... well shoot." *looks around* "Uhhhhh..." *Puts goblin back and unlocks manacles* "We have ruled that you are exempt from all crimes. For reasons we will not disclose. Heh."
I then eat a bag of potato chips and squat down, eyeing the goblin vvveeeeeeeeeeeery closely.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
I put on my goggles of truesight and look around.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
I turn on the X-ray setting on my goggles and look at the goblin again.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."