Make a magic item! Some might call it junk. Me? I call it TREASURE.

Example: I'm enchanting my computer.

It now gets +3 to all history checks on my "browsing history".

What have I done....

Totally NOT Glop: I'm enchanting my pet dog

It now has 4 eyes instead of 1.

"I don't SEE how this helps...."

I'm enchanting my face.

You now replace your ears with 2 noses.  

"I'm smelling some strange sounds from behind this door."

I enchant my pinky toe.

You can now move it independently of all other toes, and use it to grab hold of small items.

"YES, finally I can have thumbs on my feet, just like an ape."

I enchant my Fruit punch Capri-sun juice pouch.

It now magically refills itself every hour.

"It's....so beautiful (cries a silent tear)"

I enchant my left sock.

It now is a rainbow sock that changes color and design every hour.

"Are YOU wearing magical socks? (scoffs) didn't think so."

I enchant my calendar.

It is now replaces ALL national holidays with Christmas.

"What'd you get last Christmas? just a few gifts and some cash. What about you?

"My parents said they don't wanna buy something EVERY SINGLE Christmas, so instead we just had a picnic. It's ok though, next Christmas is October 31 so I wont have to wait too long."

I enchant my enchanted dog. Again.

It now has just 2 eyes, but it only has 1 large nostril in its nose instead of 2.

"Well, I suppose this is an improvement?"

I enchant my hair.

It feels dry and stringy all the time and has a constant current of static electricity in it. Your hair is ALWAYS sticking up no matter what you do to stop it.

"Bad hair days? (Mocking chuckle) Try just plain BAD HAIR."

I enchant my STUFF.

ALL of your stuff starts glowing a puke shade of yellow.

"Night time? No, my room is the SUN. A disgusting sun..."

I enchant my voice.

You always sound annoyed and angry even if you're not.

"Welcome to puberty- I mean welcome, to a new life of no friends."

I enchant the person reading this.

They have to post on this thread within 5 minutes or REALITY will cease to function as it does.

"I know you're reading this. Come on, post somethin. POST OR I'LL RIP OFF YOUR- (breathes intensely to calm down) It's okay, you can do it. I BELIEVE IN YOU."

I enchant my stick.

It grows or shrinks until it's 6ft long.

"What's so funny? It's just a stick from outside. What are you laughing a- OH. Oh no. NO STOP IT! NOT FUNNY! (Suppressing laughter) I'm serious."

I enchant my home-brewed morning coffee.

It's not allowed by your DM and you get kicked from the DND party.

"Wait but WHY?"

"Because it's home-brew! You know I don't allow home-brew in my DND."

I enchant a random person I meet on the road.

They are now your SWORN MORTAL ENEMY.

"Why do I even try helping people. (Exasperated sigh)"

I enchant my eyes.

You now see posts from OTHER people on this thread, besides yourself.

"YES YES YES YES YESY ES YES!!!"

I enchant my enchanted eyes AGAIN.

The illusion wears off and you realize you are still the only one posting on your thread.

"(crying)"

I enchant my enemy.

The die slowly and painfully to a single maggot that eats at them for 10 years.

"I just- I just wanted to kill him quickly- I didn't think it would- I didn't know- AGHGHHGHGH!! (Has a mental explosion of emotions including shame guilt and remorse)"

I enchant my thread.

Nothing happens, but you magically hear someone viewing this say to themself "what a lame thread"

"(RAGE NOISES)"

I enchant every single word I say.

Every word starts changing form and sound until they are just a random combo of numbers and letters.

"Wh3n Am 1 G0ing t0 st0p 3nchant1ng?"