So, I was recently inspired by someone who mentioned one of their favorite songs to play during a session (and my guess is in general) is "Africa" by Toto. I thought, "Hey that's great, but let's D&D it up a bit yeah?" The idea of this game is to post a lyrical parody of an existing song where the new lyrics reference D&D in some way. Here's what I came up with to start.
Original Song: "Africa" by Toto Parody Title: "Anathema"
I hear the bards bellowing tonight But she hears only players madly rolling their persuasion She's setting up the final fight The dragon’s scales resist most blows that get past its evasion I begged the DM along the way Hoping to find some long-forgotten scrolls or magic remedies She turned to me as if to say, "Hurry or it’s coming after you"
It's gonna take a lot to take down an Ancient Blue This is something that a hundred level ones could never do I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema Gonna take some time to kill the evil nasty bad
The wild mage surges and takes flight As he casts Confusion centered on himself and drifts erratically I know that we must win this plight As sure as rolling a 20 scores a critical hit automatically I seek to cure my party’s wounds, enlightened as this priest that I've become
It's gonna take a lot to take down an Ancient Blue This is something that a hundred level ones could never do I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema Gonna take some time to kill the evil nasty bad
Hurry or it's coming after you
It's gonna take a lot to take down an Ancient Blue This is something that a hundred level ones could never do I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema Gonna take some time to kill the evil nasty bad
The Demogorgon went down to Faerun He was lookin' for a soul to steal He was in a bind 'Cause he was way behind And he was willin' to make a deal
When he came upon this young bard Sawin' on a lute and playin' it hot And the Demogorgon jumped Upon a dryad corpse
And said, "boy, let me tell you what
I guess you didn't know it But I'm a level 4 bard too And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you
Now you play a pretty good lute, boy But give the Demogorgon his due I'll bet a lute of mithril
Against your soul 'Cause I think I'm better than you"
The boy said, "my name's Immeral And it might be a sin But I'll take your bet And you're gonna regret 'Cause I'm the best there's ever been"
Immeral, rosin up your bow and play your lute nice 'Cause hell's broke loose in faerun, and the Demogorgon rolls the dice And if you win, you get this shiny lute made of mithril But if you lose, the demogorgon gets your soul
The demogorgon opened up his case And he said, "I'll start this hoot" And fire flew from his fingertips As he rosined up his lute
Then he pulled the lute across the strings And it made an evil hiss And a band of Quasits joined in And it sounded something like this
When the demogorgon finished Immeral said, "well, you're pretty good, old son But sit down in that chair right there And let me show you how it's done"
He played Fire elemental on the Mountain run boys, run The demogorgons's in the House of the Rising Sun Dire Chicken in a bread pan picking' out dough Granny, does your winter wolf bite? No child, no
The demogorgon bowed his head Because he knew that he'd been beat And he laid that golden lute on the ground at Immeral's feet
Immeral said, "Demogorgon, just come on back If you ever want to try again I done told you once you son of an orc I'm the best that's ever been"
He played Fire Elemental on the Mountain run boys, run The demogorgon's in the House of the Rising Sun Dire Chicken in a bread pan pickin' out dough Granny, does your Winter Wolf bite? No child, no
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For god's sake. Find a hobby or something. Sheesh. Please stop using this font.
Inspired by an Out of the Abyss campaign I'm playing in. My character is a deep gnome wizard named Belwar.
Original song: White Rabbit
One 'shroom makes you larger And one 'shroom makes you small And the ones the duergar give you Don't do anything at all Go ask Belwar When he's six feet tall
And if you go chasing chasmes And you know you're going to fall Tell 'em a hookah-smoking myconid Has given you the call And call Belwar When he was just Small
When the men on the khas-board Get up and tell you where to go And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is running low Go ask Belwar I think he'll know
When logic and proportion Have fallen sloppy dead And the archpriest is talking backwards And the spore queen's off with her head Remember What the deep gnome said Feed your head Feed your head
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"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
This is not my song, but Ginny Di made a really good critical role parody of "Before he cheats" by Carrie Underwood! Check it out here, and show her some love if you like it!
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May all of your spells roll the best things for the situation on the wild magic table and all your checks to seduce dragons roll nat 20's
Some backstory: We derailed the campaign for a bit by calling in allies and teleporting them to us in a Avengers: Endgame fashion after a stealth mission gone sideways, and Eris, a paladin of Tiamat, got smited for fighting against other allies of Tiamat. So, I.. adapted “Oh Buddy Roy” from the Order of the Stick to fit our situation.
(To the tune of Danny Boy)
O buddy Eris, Jacob, Jacob came calling
For hours and hours in the air yesterday,
And though we have all found ourselves a'brawling,
'Tis you, 'tis you got smote and we're OK.
But ye won’t come back when Raise Dead has been cast
'Cause Tiamat didn’t think you were cool,
You won’t be here tomorrow after breakfast,
O buddy Eris, O buddy Eris, you're pretty schooled.
And if tomorrow, it turns out we got smacked down
If we're dead, our hit points worn away,
Then sorry dude, you still won't be coming back now;
One death sucks, but many spells T-P-K.
I won't see you in the afterlife in any case
Because you're Neutral, and Chaotic Good am I
And I don't think they'll let me hang at your place.
So, I was recently inspired by someone who mentioned one of their favorite songs to play during a session (and my guess is in general) is "Africa" by Toto. I thought, "Hey that's great, but let's D&D it up a bit yeah?" The idea of this game is to post a lyrical parody of an existing song where the new lyrics reference D&D in some way. Here's what I came up with to start.
Original Song: "Africa" by Toto
Parody Title: "Anathema"
I hear the bards bellowing tonight
But she hears only players madly rolling their persuasion
She's setting up the final fight
The dragon’s scales resist most blows that get past its evasion
I begged the DM along the way
Hoping to find some long-forgotten scrolls or magic remedies
She turned to me as if to say, "Hurry or it’s coming after you"
It's gonna take a lot to take down an Ancient Blue
This is something that a hundred level ones could never do
I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema
Gonna take some time to kill the evil nasty bad
The wild mage surges and takes flight
As he casts Confusion centered on himself and drifts erratically
I know that we must win this plight
As sure as rolling a 20 scores a critical hit automatically
I seek to cure my party’s wounds, enlightened as this priest that I've become
It's gonna take a lot to take down an Ancient Blue
This is something that a hundred level ones could never do
I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema
Gonna take some time to kill the evil nasty bad
Hurry or it's coming after you
It's gonna take a lot to take down an Ancient Blue
This is something that a hundred level ones could never do
I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema
I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema
I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema
I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema
I Bless my friends, Bane Anathema
Gonna take some time to kill the evil nasty bad
The Demogorgon Went down to Faerun:
He was lookin' for a soul to steal
He was in a bind
'Cause he was way behind
And he was willin' to make a deal
Sawin' on a lute and playin' it hot
And the Demogorgon jumped
Upon a dryad corpse
But I'm a level 4 bard too
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you
But give the Demogorgon his due
I'll bet a lute of mithril
'Cause I think I'm better than you"
And it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet
And you're gonna regret
'Cause I'm the best there's ever been"
'Cause hell's broke loose in faerun, and the Demogorgon rolls the dice
And if you win, you get this shiny lute made of mithril
But if you lose, the demogorgon gets your soul
And he said, "I'll start this hoot"
And fire flew from his fingertips
As he rosined up his lute
And it made an evil hiss
And a band of Quasits joined in
And it sounded something like this
Immeral said, "well, you're pretty good, old son
But sit down in that chair right there
And let me show you how it's done"
The demogorgons's in the House of the Rising Sun
Dire Chicken in a bread pan picking' out dough
Granny, does your winter wolf bite? No child, no
Because he knew that he'd been beat
And he laid that golden lute on the ground at Immeral's feet
If you ever want to try again
I done told you once you son of an orc
I'm the best that's ever been"
The demogorgon's in the House of the Rising Sun
Dire Chicken in a bread pan pickin' out dough
Granny, does your Winter Wolf bite? No child, no
Inspired by an Out of the Abyss campaign I'm playing in. My character is a deep gnome wizard named Belwar.
Original song: White Rabbit
One 'shroom makes you larger
And one 'shroom makes you small
And the ones the duergar give you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Belwar
When he's six feet tall
And if you go chasing chasmes
And you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking myconid
Has given you the call
And call Belwar
When he was just Small
When the men on the khas-board
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is running low
Go ask Belwar
I think he'll know
When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the archpriest is talking backwards
And the spore queen's off with her head
Remember
What the deep gnome said
Feed your head
Feed your head
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
to the tune of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
You know giant's and oozes and wyvern's too
you know orcs, drow and goblins where put in this room
but do you recall the most OP monster of all?
Tarrasque the TPKer had a really high CR
And if you ever saw it you would run real far.
All of the other monsters used to laugh and call it names
They never let the Tarrasque join in any DnD games.
Then one foggy Saturday night the DM came to say
Tarrasque with your CR so high won't your ensure my player's will die
Then how the DM loved him
As he shouted out with glee
Tarrasque the TPKer you'll kill them all by round three!
Playing a bard that acts like a rogue
Orignal song: Baby one more time
Oh maybe maybe
Oh maybe maybe
Oh maybe maybe I wasn't supposed to know
'That' something was right here
Oh maybe maybe
I should have let it go
And now I'm put of sight, yeah
Show me how can I be set free
Tell me, maybe
Cause I need to know oh, because
My poverty is killing me
And I
I must confess I still decieve
Still decieve
When I'm not grifting I lose my mind
Doing my time
Come on maybe one more crime
ABCDEFG
Goblinoids are chasing me
Hobgoblins, Goblins too,
I think that bugbears’ painted blue
ABCDEFG
Someone help seriously
This is not my song, but Ginny Di made a really good critical role parody of "Before he cheats" by Carrie Underwood! Check it out here, and show her some love if you like it!
May all of your spells roll the best things for the situation on the wild magic table and all your checks to seduce dragons roll nat 20's
My first char (and namesake) Lili Scheppen!
Proud member of the cult of grammar! (grand inquisitor)
Some backstory: We derailed the campaign for a bit by calling in allies and teleporting them to us in a Avengers: Endgame fashion after a stealth mission gone sideways, and Eris, a paladin of Tiamat, got smited for fighting against other allies of Tiamat. So, I.. adapted “Oh Buddy Roy” from the Order of the Stick to fit our situation.
(To the tune of Danny Boy)
O buddy Eris, Jacob, Jacob came calling
For hours and hours in the air yesterday,
And though we have all found ourselves a'brawling,
'Tis you, 'tis you got smote and we're OK.
But ye won’t come back when Raise Dead has been cast
'Cause Tiamat didn’t think you were cool,
You won’t be here tomorrow after breakfast,
O buddy Eris, O buddy Eris, you're pretty schooled.
And if tomorrow, it turns out we got smacked down
If we're dead, our hit points worn away,
Then sorry dude, you still won't be coming back now;
One death sucks, but many spells T-P-K.
I won't see you in the afterlife in any case
Because you're Neutral, and Chaotic Good am I
And I don't think they'll let me hang at your place.
O buddy Eris, O buddy Eris, sorry you died
To the tune of the frozen logger
As I sat down one evening,
an rpg to play
our volunteering dm,
to me these words did say.
"I see you are a fighter,
and not just level one,
for a level one fighter
could not afford a gun.
My pc was a fighter,
not like the ones today,
instead of stopping at 20,
he was level 48.
he never worked with a party
and yet the fight was still fair,
his homebrew magic item,
let him kill with his stare
I once went on a quest with him
on an lower plane conquering trip
armed with various +10 weapons
and a boltgun on his hip
he departed so suddenly
with haste he was quite gone
his hireling yelled out behind him,
He fought his way through gehenna,
"You forgot Orcus's Wand!"
and through the abyss too,
at the hellish layer of nessus,
Asmodeus smushed him into glue.
And so I lost my fighter,
and to this game store I come,
and here I wait for a fighter
who is armed with a gun."
Evil.
Brains over brawn? Mind over matter? These canny warriors rightly answer, "Why not both?" - Tasha
My Homebrews: Monsters, Magic Items, Spells, Races
Rhulg- Hobgoblin Gunsmith