Twist the Wish

Quote from Darkstalker42 >>

Have fun with your beholder named Fame.

I wish that all selfish politicians let go of their giant motherfu****g egos.

 Uh-uh-uh! No swearing! You are given the swear jar. You must put your soul inside if you want to swear.

I wish to cause a shooting at a certain prison.

Granted. They're all shooting at you.

I wish for an all-goblinoid gentleman's club.

Granted, but no one goes there.

I wish to play Minecraft with 0 ping.

Granted. Who is 0 Ping and why are you playing with him?

I wish that all viruses were immediately eradicated from our planet

Granted. The world is ravaged by fungi and bacteria instead.

I wish for an all-goblinoid gentleman's club that is very popular and attended every night.

It is only available to ogres who eat ppl.

I wish for a new pencil.

You get a new pencil, but it has no lead.

I wish for a fight between the Greek gods and the Egyptian gods in the Michigan Stadium to be held and televised for free worldwide.

No one can watch it because everyone is trying to watch at the same time overloading the broadband (that’s how that works right?).

I wish for a laptop that never loses its charge.

Granted, but it has terrible performance.

I wish for a perfect game of Minecraft Hypixel Bedwars.

Granted. Just not for you

I wish for an untwistable wish, which i use to wish for a hamburger (I'm hungry)

Granted. The Untwistable Wish Police (UWP) snipe you from 300 feet away after eating it.

I wish for the new campaign I'm in to be good.

Quote from MilestoGo_24 >>

Granted. The Untwistable Wish Police (UWP) snipe you from 300 feet away after eating it.

I wish for the new campaign I'm in to be good.

 It is. People unfortunately never show up

I wish for a kitten

Quote from SpeedyTabaxi_CatsForLife >>

Quote from MilestoGo_24 >>

Granted. The Untwistable Wish Police (UWP) snipe you from 300 feet away after eating it.

I wish for the new campaign I'm in to be good.

 It is. People unfortunately never show up

I wish for a kitten

 It scratches your face like crazy.

I wish for a hug (husky/pug crossbreed) and a hug.

Granted, but both hugs hate you.

I wish for a cloak of invisibility.

It's too small

I wish for a sun blade

Quote from MilestoGo_24 >>

Granted, but both hugs hate you.

I wish for a cloak of invisibility.

 You get it. It is invisible, but doesn't make you invisible. You lose it often in the closet.

I wish for my hugs to not hate me.

Granted. Now they despise you

I wish i could cast fireball at will

Granted. Poor Atwill.

I wish for the One Ring of Mordor to be mine.

Granted. With this ring, you find entrances that weren't there before. (More-door, get it?)

I wish to grow the most impressive beard on Earth.

Granted, but it's so impressive that when you stand up it rips your jaw off.

I wish for a dragon companion who is loyal to me.