Granted. A hag emerged from the beach you are walking on. When you attempt to eat her, she turns you into a toad. Next time, remember that it's spelled "sandwich".

I wish for a harem of female elves, dwarves and gnomes, who also serve as bodyguards. This harem must be both loyal and competent at their jobs and never fight amongst themselves for my loyalty. (I've had that happen to harems before in this thread.)

the elves are drow, the dwarfs are duregar, and the gnomes turn into a dragons who had used polymorph. they all kill you

I wish for a magical knife that will never harm me, and there will be no consequences of me having this knife, the knife will also always hits its target

Wish Granted, you get the knife, but it gets to pick its target, and since it's not animated, it can't choose a target, so it doesn't work

I wish to have a pet dragon, that is noncombatant to me and hostile to people who I want him to attack

Wish granted! You now have a pet bearded dragon who silently nibbles at the toes of anyone you desire.

I wish.

Wish

i wish for a +3 knife that will never harm me

Wish Granted! The knife has no blade. The +3 is for throwing the handle.

I wish for.

you get a .

i wish for a knife with a blade that has +3

you get a knife with a +3 blade ingraved on it's handle

I wish I was better at drawing

you start drawing stuff no one aprichiates

can i just have an actual knife that has +3 to attack?

Yes, this particular +3 knife is a butter knife. You are very good at hitting people with it, but it does absolutely nothing. Keep trying to get that good knife, it'll work eventually :)

I wish for a multi-weapon that transforms into any weapon I want/need.

All the weapons and tools you summon are made of styrofoam.

I wish to turn anything to styrofoam at will.

you accidentally touch the ground and fall to the core of the earth

I wish to be immortal, and all the gods like me

your wish is granted, as long as you can go without sleeping

I WISH FOR A +3 DAGGER, IS THAT TOO HARD TO DO?

No..... Your +3 dagger is awesome! It never misses and it destroys monsters in one hit. Happy slashing! (disclaimer: dagger only works against monsters made of styrofoam.)

I wish for a house that I can shrink down small enough to fit inside my pocket.

You get the house, and it shrinks whenever you want. (disclaimer it will enlarge whenever it's in your pocket)

I wish for a dice that always rolls nat20s

wish granted your DM bans the dice

I wish for a d20 that I can control what it rolls.

Wish Granted! You now can command your d20 to roll a 1 whenever you want.

I wish for a &%(^)#^%^)(#^)*(%^

Quote from Roguish_Archer >>

No..... Your +3 dagger is awesome! It never misses and it destroys monsters in one hit. Happy slashing! (disclaimer: dagger only works against monsters made of styrofoam.)

I wish for a house that I can shrink down small enough to fit inside my pocket.

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you get what you want

JUST GIVE ME A +3 DAGGER THAT ACTUALY WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS THAT TOO HARD TO ASK

...You finally get a +3 dagger. It almost never misses. It does a lot of damage. You know what? It also looks REALLY cool. Although everyone who sees it thinks that it's either used in a demon summoning ritual, or it was used in a murder. The whole country is trying to capture you... but you got your dagger!

I wish for a computer that always has really good internet...