You didn't make a wish, but I sent a twister near your location.

I wish for something normal.

You get a bucket of beige paint

I wish for eternal happiness

You receive one cubic foot of oxygen, which immediately disperses into the air.

I wish for the ability to move small objects with my mind at a slow speed.

*edit: Wow, again? I keep getting -what's the word people use for it- "ninjaed"?

(Yeah, ninjaed, I'm a bit of a speed typer)

You can use your mind to move to touch objects with appendages and move them according to your strength

I wish I wasn't a *REDACTED*

Granted, you are a genderless single-celled organism

I wish to win Utmost Secrecy.

Your team wins, YAY!! But now the game is over and will never happen again.

I wish I was an amoeba

You said "I wish I was an amoeba", was is passed tense. You, you were an amoeba in the past. But not now.

I wish for this wish to be or not be fulfilled in any way.

(And by the way, it's impossible to twist my wish, because literally anything you think of is included within the terms of the wish.)

Quote from skizzerz >>

Rules are simple: Fulfill the wish of the person above you in a way that fits the literal wording of the wish, but perverts the intent. Then, post your own wish. 

 (Anything fits the wording for my wish, and my intent is anything or nothing in any sense or way. No matter what you do, the wish turns out exactly as I want. Also, saying I never made the wish doesn't count, because that is included in the terms of the wish. This is impossible to twist.)

(Also, pay attention to what actually counts as twisting. Above is "I wish for something normal", with the reply "You get a bucket of beige paint." That isn't twisting the wish at all. It needs to fit the wording but pervert the intent.

For example, "I wish for a million bucks" would be wishing for money, and twisting would be replying something such as:

1. "A million male deer (male deer are called bucks) destroy your house." This fits the wording, as male deer are bucks, but goes against the intent, which was money.
2. A million dollars of coins appear above them, crushing them. This is not the intent, because they want to earn money, not die from it.
3. A million dollars appear, but at the bottom of the sea where they can never get it.

I've seen many wishes on this thread that weren't twisting. Make sure you think before you post.)

You overthought and your brain explodes.

I wish for someone to start a new forum for this.

Wish granted. Then they delete it again.

I wish for dragons to exist in real life.

Granted! They exist inside real life books.

I wish for a McDonalds Happy Meal.

(And by the way, my brain exploding is included in my wish as it counts as something happening. And really, the concept is simple.)

The McDonalds Happy Meal is so small that you starve to death.

I wish that I merged Tiamat, an Ancient Solar Dragon, and an Ancient Lunar Dragon into one dragon.

Granted, that demonic creature eats you (should have learned from tyranny of dragons) 

I wish two have more than two brain cells.

1. I haven't play Tyranny of Dragons.

2. Can you make a stat block for my demonic creature?

3. You get so many brain cells that you can't move because your head is too heavy and then my demonic creature eats you.

I wish that I have the Infinity Gantlet with all of the Infinity Stones and I am attuned to it.

You can't actually wear the Infinity Gauntlet because it's Thanos-sized. Also, Thanos knows you have it. Good luck!

I wish for a perfectly ordinary jar of strawberry jam. No more, no less.

granted the jar is broken

i wish people would watch yu gi oh zexal

They do and then kill you for making them watch it.

Thanos is dead and I also have the Infinity Armor as well.

I wish that I could become a God.

Granted. You are now an exclamation used for emphasis or to express emotions such as surprise, anger, or distress. "Oh my Winnerofall!", people exclaim as moments of extreme happiness or sadness come into their lives.

I wish for an amalgamation of serendipitous circumstances that culminate in an apotheosis of equanimity and felicity, fostering an atmosphere of universal concord and erudition, propelling humanity toward the zenith of enlightenment and transcendence.

Granted, you didn't say when, it's in a billion years

I wish for the ability to enter and control others dreams.