* I'm going onto the knights of ni forum and saying it *

HOW COULD YOU

* Easy, I went onto the forum and typed it *

* The Story So Far *

( I'm gonna *cough* steal *cough* use a book for stuffs this time )

It was a cold day in town. Everybody was bundled up or at the local tavern drinking whisky and wine. There weren't many people on the streets today, but ( Insert Name Here ) had an important job today. Hoody the second knew this was not something that only one can accomplish, so they needed a party of companions. Companions who would help before the world freezes and all life ends…

hoody the second brandished there (is hoody still a tabaxi? are they still a rogue bard multi?) claws on a small hill in their town yelling "who will help me on my quest to save humanity (i'll call it that even though it's not all humans) from the great freeze! who will help me save humanity from the cold! who will help me save humanity from the dragons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

" Shut Up! " Someone throws a boot through a window which hoody the second expertly dodges.

I'd have better like in a bar than out here in these darkened streets, hoody the second thinks to themself and begins walking to the nearest bar. Big, decorated, and infamous for the people who were in it. Yes a bar called the A Super Creative Bar Name.

Hoody the second walks over to the thug-best looking person, dropped a bag of coins on there table, and said, “come with me.“

The man looks at them, " I am not the one you want... " The thug looks around, a deva and succubus argue over drinks in a corner, hooded figures play a game of dice in another, finally his eyes fall upon a humanoid cloaked and inconspicuous. " He is the one you want if you are going on a quest, " The thug pockets the gold and walks out.

Hoody the second slowly walks over to the person the thug suggested, " Hey, ummm. I heard you could help me. "

" Maybe, " the cloaked figure says, turning, " who wants to know? "

" Well I'm on a quest to defeat a dragon and need some help. "

" I'm honestly not doing anything better at the moment, Hey Glory want to come? "

" Wait, " Hoody says, " Before I let you join I need to know your skills "

' Fine, I'm Alicia by the way " Then pointing to the human next to her, " And this is glory, which you should have figured out " The male human awkwardly waves at Hoody II

"I can sneak pretty well, fight with 2 weapons pretty well, and know just a few songs of power. not really especially good at anything, but passable in basically everything" says glory

"and i am cursed with eldritch power" says Alicia confidently

" If I'm being completely honest, " hoody starts to say, " Glory seems like he may be very helpful. But first, you said you were passable in basically everything, I want proof. "

" Wait, how do you want me to prove it? "

" Easy, see that bar over there? " Hoody points, The barkeep suddenly has chills run up his spine, " Go do your best song and dance routine. "

" But, that i- "

" Do it. " Hoody says a bit more menacingly

The warlock starts shaking whilst holding in laughter.

" Uh, hello everyone. I have to sing a song due to a bar bet. " Glory looks towards hoody the second, hoody just gives a thumbs up.

" Whoo, okay" Glory says preparing himself

The bar quiets down, the barkeep pulls up a chair

Then Glory summons a lute and magic band behind him

" I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight? Oh Lord, oh Lord... "

Alicia barely controls her amusement.

Hoody, bursting into laughter themself says. " Oh god, that was awesome. " hoody says laughing, " You two are so included in the group. "

Turning to address the rest of the bar hoody shouts " Drinks on me! " turning to the barkeep hoody says " Just water, and can you make it look like beer? "

After being chased by a mob of angry drunkards, he finds refuge in a nearby alleyway, where he discovers a magic item…

" Dammit hoody, " Alicia spouts " You didn't have to get us chased out of a bar because you didn't want to pay for beer that was like one copper! "

" Agreed, " Glory says, " That was my favorite bar, they even named a drink after me... Glory beer... "

" Okay guys, I'm sorry but..." Hoody stops and stares at the trash, " What is that? "

He leans over and picks up a ring, with a very intricate design. He slips it on his finger and suddenly, his friends gasp.

"What?" he asks.

"Hoody, where are you?" asks Glory, looking around.

"Im right here!" He slides the ring into his pocket.

Suddenly, his friends can see him.

He smirks at his new Ring from Lord of the rings

" Well are we killing a dragon or what? " Hoody says starting to walk towards the mountain where the dragon was spotted last

Alicia and Glory look at each other, then rush over to hoody

" It's a pretty ring, " Hoody thinks to themself while fiddling with it in their pocket

When suddenly... a coughing stranger happens upon the group, pleading for refuge from "The Beast"

" What does the beast look like? " Glory asks, clearly the kindest of the group. " We may be able to help and get rid of it. "

"Beastly"

"What do you mean by that?" Says Alicia.

Hoody fidgets with the ring.

Glory shoots Alicia a look.

"What do you mean by that?" Says Alicia.

Hoody fidgets with the ring.

Glory shoots Alicia a look.
Alicia says "and what are the odds of THAT?" As she narrows her eyes.

Hoody continues to fidget with the ring.

Glory says "what do you mean by that, Alicia?"

Alicia says "what do you think I meant? he is the only survivor. That's suspicious!"

"My friend distracted him so I could escape. She didnt make it." they look down, obviously pained by this subject.

" Where is this monster? " Glory asks the man, speaking quietly, " Tell us, nothing that kills a person should be left to live. Tell us so we can avenge your people. "

He points to a nearby mountain, where a large cave lies at the base.

" Good gosh, " Hoody says turning to their companions, " You don't think it's the dragon do you? "

"Dragon??!!" says the man "No. He had fur and walked on two legs"

" Hoody! " Alicia says turning, " Don't scare us like that! "

" Anyway, we should still help, " Glory says obviously the bravest as he walks towards the cave, sword at the ready

They approach the cave, weapons at hand.

Suddenly, a large Awakened Girallon comes out of the cave. he wears a helm of telepathy. He slams his chest saying: "Why are you here"

" Oh, we might not be able to win this fight " Glory says turning to his companions

" Nonsense " hoody the second says drawing their sword " You said it yourself things that harm humans shouldn't be allowed to live, Alicia spam a cantrip. "

then they hear a roar from somewhere

" Please tell me it isn't the dragon " Glory says shuddering

then they hear massive foot steps, and turn around to see a massive...

foot leading to a massive...

Dragon Chicken Goddess, chaotic neutral, likes pasta With the stats of 5 abyssal chickens

Good lord, think about how good that would taste fried " Glory says staring up at the monstrosity

Alicia casts eldritch blast

Then it eats the Girallon which everybody seemed to have forgotten about.

Then it eats the Girallon which everybody seemed to have forgotten about.

" AHHHH, WE GOT A GIANT KENTUCKY FRIED PROBLEM " Glory yells running away

The chicken dragon goddess breathes chicken nuggets at glory

" AHHHH, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE FROM CHICKEN NUGGETS! " Glory screams " Please don't let this be my last words "

The goddess true polymorphs them into baby dragon chickens, buries them in chicken nuggets, and flies away, yelling “CLUCK CLUCK SUCKERS!”

After this derailed everything story time stands for glory looks around and shouts, " Hey Hoody, Alicia, are you guys dead? "

They stand up and say no. But we are dragon chickens.

They need some serious dispel magic.

" Okay new plan, "Glory says " I'll find a way to cure you guys first, then we'll continue on our quest to kill the dragon that is causing the land to be plagued by an endless winter. "

They wander through the forest (Or swamp, or whatever) and soon start to feel scared. Its getting dark and a strange mist fills the air.

Glory could have sworn she saw people in the forest, but hoody says he heard voices.

Suddenly, a very, very, very tall armored figure stands in their way and casts:

Power word: NI!

He does it several times.

The adventurers ask him who he is and why he is doing this.

"We are the knights who say..." He says in a shrill voice. "NI!"

"If you are to pass, you must first find us... A SHRUBBERY"

"A what?"

"NI! NI! NI!"

"Oh unfair sir knight, we shall find you your shrubbery."

They then head back to the town for the shrubbery.

"Oh and make sure its a nice height!" the knight calls. "And not too expensive!"

The other knights agree, nodding their heads.

Glory : Old crone! Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery!

[dramatic chord]

CRONE: Who sent you?

Glory : The Knights Who Say Ni.

CRONE: Agh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here.

Glory : If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I will say... we will say... `Ni!'.

CRONE: Agh! Do your worst!

Glory : Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily,... Ni!

CRONE: No! Never! No shrubs!

Glory : Ni!

Hoody the chicken : Noo! Noo!

Glory : No, no, no, no -- it's not that, it's 'ni!'.

Hoody the chicken : Noo!

ARTHUR: No, no -- 'ni!'. You're not doing it properly.

Alicia the chicken : Noo! Ni!

Glory : That's it, that's it, you've got it.

Glory and the Chickens : Ni! Ni!

ROGER: Are you saying 'ni' to that old woman?

Glory : Um, yes.

ROGER: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say `ni' at will to old ladies. ... There is a unending cold upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.

Glory : Did you say `shrubberies'?

ROGER: Yes, shrubberies are my trade -- I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

Chickens : Ni!

Glory : No! No, no, no! No!

Much later...

"Oh good knights knights who say ni, we have brought you your shrubbery."

"Good. I like the trimming. However we are no longer the knights who say ni, we are the knights who say... EKKE EKKE EKKE PTANG ZOO BOING!"

"May we please pass?"

"NI! You shall not pass until you have brought us... ANOTHER SHRUBBERY"

"Another?"

"Yes and make it level. Also put it next to the first shrubbery so we can have a path going down the middle."

"Ooh yes a path, A PATH!" say the other knights.

"And then..." continues the head knight "You must chop down the mightiest tree in the forest with... A HERRING!" The knight holds up a small fish.

"That's preposterous! It cant be done!"

"NOOO! Don't say that word!" plead the knights, in pain.

" What word? Is? " Glory says

"No not that word!"

“Yes I suppose you wouldn't get far in life without using that word... Oh look it's alicia the chicken " Glory says

" Did you find a cure alicia? "

" Oh, yes I was looking for it. " Alicia responds to glory

"NOOO dont say it! AAH! I said it! I said it again!" screams the knight as the group walks away.

" Wow, super weird. Okay you're all cured so let's just go find the dragon I suppose. " Glory says walking away from the strange knights

 * This took up like 4 pages on google docs *

Suddenly, hoody yells ME PRECIOUS! and attacks, cause dragon chickens are easier to corrupt, so the ring took ahold of him, even when he turned back. The ring who rules them all! 

* SAMSO1 NO, BAD *

Hee hee

The group comes across yet another town, hopefully someone here can tell our heros something about the dragon

"Youre too late" says one villager. "The dragon came a week ago and stole our things before returning to that forest" he points to a forest.

" Oh, of course we have to go into a spooky forest! " Hoody says

" Maybe we should gear up before going to the final battle? " Alicia says turning to hoody and glory

“Nah, I’m sure it will be easy peasy. We probably don't even need swords or anything!” says Hoody. “Nothing except my ring, which may or may not be slowly taking control of me and will possess me at the worst possible moment, like maybe in the middle of fighting the dragon. He walks into the forest. A giant spider drops on his head. Stupid ring.

And they all implode.

Listen, if your gonna commit thread necromancy you might as well make it good and follow the rules on the first post...

Lol joking

They all teleport to an unknown plane. a deity comes up and says .........

...

Ok, guess we'll break the rules for a second

" The heck you doing here? Get back to where you were supposed to be! "

They teleport back. However, that diety was friends with the chicken goddess, and now they are baby tarraque ducks 

They say "we have no clue how to get back"

Ok well, you gents have fun

Suddenly Hoody walks in a general Western direction, where Alicia notes she saw a ring-worshipping cult which was killing pigs earlier. She should have told everyone else but she was too busy with breathing.