This is never going to work, I think to myself. I call FedEx and ask if they ship inter-dimensionally. Surprisingly, they do. Once I finish talking on the phone, a portal opens up and a FedEx truck drives out of it. I give the delivery man the hangnail cure and a few swords as payment, and he drives into another portal. A few seconds later, the inter-dimensional elephant appears on the battlefield. After this, I start asking around to try to find out who drew the picture of the Empty Chimera and why.
You summon One Punch Man! sadly, they are a corpse. This is because they were already summoned, and then eaten by a Grue. One-Punch Man Corpse obtained!
ENTITY ACTIONS: I ask Anti-Jokester to turn into a wall, thus distracting Trump for the turn.
Time to continue attacking the Mask! I paint a red spot on the Mask with my spray F I L T H paint. Then I shoot a bullet at the red spot directly.
The bullet explodes into ink, covering the Mask completely in ink, distracting it for one post!
Bicyclops: 7/10
(The bicycle is bending into a new shape; out of the portal come two horns.)
orders given! You distract the Empty Chimera, but the ink quickly starts slipping off! It'll be gone soon! Your charge continues! I haven't thought of any chargequest challenges, so there still isn't a challenge to solve.
Empty Chimera trying to attack me? The mask grows teeth on tentacles, curved to pull in the prey. Entities, hold that Empty Chimera still so that I can eat it. I open my mouth wide up and then surround the chimera with my mouth. Then I use stones to build a wall that prevents escape and put hungry visitation conversion juices in this gas chamber digestion chamber. Fear the power of stones.
Toaster, grey and shiny without toast I am getting whiny heat and roast You are made to toast.
I add some Hunger For Eggs on Toast conversion juice into the chamber.
You order your entities and the Mask of Hungry Visitation! You then work together with it, grabbing and enveloping the Empty Chimera! Then, you use rocks to hold it in! Then, you progress the toaster- it should be ready by next round. Wiping the Ink off their face, the Empty Chimeras Dragging arm whips out, crashing into the wall of stones and causing it to collapse into a disorderly pile- but it is still enveloped within your arbitrarily large mouth.
1. I construct a Parthenon with baguette supports and toast floor building it around the all mighty toast tree.2. I build a baguette blaster that because turn based role playing game logic heals people.3. I put an anti-mold container around the bread Parthenon and Fredrick
Fredrick 1\?
Toast Tree gains a Temple! You also build yourself a blaster, and protect your existing things from mold!
My longing is great, My toaster is late, Seconds tick, Minutes run Life without toaster is not fun
Glowing orange white Spreading holy light inside the toaster glow while the hunger grow
In my inner hearts burning pressure starts waiting for release waiting just to seize Toast is what I want I want a toaster prompt
you progress the toaster the rest of the way to completion! Also, your stomach starts to warm up, before the Chimeras dark, amorphous arm begins to pour down like some fluid. Crawling along the walls of your mouth, the scattered web-like shadows coat it, chilling it unnaturally. You shiver, and after a few more moments, the shadows retract into the Chimera, the heat negated. Technically speaking, this is where the masks first action occurs! it pulled the thing in with you.
Action 1: "'Its foe is clearly unharmed'!? What do you call these then- Ooooow!" Whether it is because he is being punished for complaining about the narration or that he is actually injured, no one knows, but the "wizard" screams out in pain. Once he gets that out (you know how long he likes to scream), he gasps for air. "Okay, okay. I'm glad I'm alive. I'm happy." No one needs to tell you, but he does not look happy. "That was... informative. The mask will always be white. But- oh, I don't like this- I have to get myself beat up again to learn why... probably. Ugh... Okay me, prioritize. Fix your torso, don't use your bad leg, then get yourself killed again... Why do I do this to myself?"
Regardless of why, the "wizard" attempts to heel himself... Okay, sure. Out of his shredded shirt, he pulls a severed foot- OH WHY? Fine, fine. Quickly, he throws the foot to the ground, and the heel stomps down into the ground. It then heels (it's a dancing term), stopping in place, the toes pointing up as the heel attaches it to the ground. He whispers, "He'll heal by the heeled heel." The foot glows with green energy. It starts to grow. The green, ethereal foot sprouts a leg, then a body, then a head, then three more legs, and a tail. A green ghost dog forms in front of the weirdo, its odd humanoid feet still resting on their heels. The dog barks a single word, "Heel." The dog then starts to hop off through a green portal. "Oh, come on! I can't walk on this!" He points at his leg, but the dog ignores him. "Fine. I still have one leg." With just one leg, he hops over to the portal and launches himself in. Thankfully, the green void overtakes him, leaving him floating in space. The dog sits in front of him, smiling. The dog licks him and starts to speak. "Take these heels." A loaf of bread appears in front of him. The dog barks and the bread splits into slices. The center pieces quickly rot into a disgusting black, while the two heels glow a victorious green. The weirdo greedily takes the two heels and shoves them in his mouth. As he eats them, the wounds to his torso start to close. Within a minute, his torso seems completely healed. The green dog barks again, "Now leave before I must use my heels." The weirdo bows, causing him to spin through the void. "Thank you great Healer." The dog frowns, which saddens everyone. "I am a Heeler." The weirdo quickly corrects himself. "Yes, of course. Thank you great Heeler." The "wizard" swims through the void, just barely making it out as the portal closes. He stands up on his healthy leg in the main battlefield. But, something feels off. He looks down at his feet and finds that he is stuck in a pair of high-heels. "Of course. That dog is such a heel... Elggog the All-Knowing says it's a thing. What? It just means untrustworthy. Don't judge me."
Action 2: Trapped by a bum leg and a pair of heels, the "wizard" decides to take a quick look through his scroll. "Hey! My name is on it! Finally! It only took... getting an autograph, kidnapping a dictator, and getting beat up to get there, but it was all worth it." He then notices something odd about his name. "What's this thing? I'm assuming its just a mark that I got beat up, but..." He scans through the list and finds that the Windmill is also being affected by it. "I didn't wanna travel today!" Stuck with indecision, the "wizard" decides to live up to his "name" and casts MAGE HAND! He directs the mage hand up to his left eye, and it plucks the eye out- COME ON! Anyways, the mage hand carries his still working eye over to the Windmill. The eye then emits a purple beam that scans the windmill. The mage hand then returns to the weirdo. The eye shoots out another purple beam, scanning the weirdo as well. Finally, the mage hand pops the eye back into its eye socket. As it disappears, the weirdo starts to ramble. "Okay brain, think. THINK! What's the same? What's the thingy do? What does it DO? It can't be that subtle. Come on brain. THINK!" His brain think so hard, he hopefully figures out what the does.
Action 3: "Oh, I still have another thing to do. Let's see, mess with the dictator? Heal my leg? Help J-" A cat appears on his tongue, stopping him from speaking. He quickly removes it, and continues ranting. "No. No. That Chimera needs stopped. NOW." The "wizard" claps his fist into his palm.
O-R-I-G-I-N leaps in front of the Empty Chimera. "HEY!" he yells into the Chimera's emotionless face. "You can't just ignore ME! I'm ANNOYING!" O-R-I-G-I-N leaps back from the Chimera, both dodging any cheap shots and looking... is that dramatic? Huh, who would've guessed. He reaches into a sleeve and pulls out a dart gun. He blows into it and a small, somehow wet dart flies out. As it hurtles toward the Chimera, it suddenly transforms. What was a small dart becomes a small plane. It hurtles into the Chimera, bulldozing it as it goes. The Chimera gets caught on the plane as it rises into the sky. As they both speed into the great blue above, the Chimera rips at the plane, attempting to get off of it. Surprisingly, the skin of the plane rips off easily. In fact, as the Chimera lashes out against the plane, it suddenly almost stops being a plane. The Chimera instead finds itself stabbed just the slightest bit by a large paper plane that looks strangely similar to O-R-I-G-I-N. Unfortunately, paper planes don't offer much lift, so they both plummet into the ground. The Chimera lands hard on one of its legs, shattering the alien matter within. As the Chimera recovers, it scans the area without expression and sees that the ANNOYING O-R-I-G-I-N is just some large paper cutout of O-R-I-G-I-N. The dart gun as well is a rolled up paper O-R-I-G-I-N.
"Ha!" The "wizard" exclaims as he sits with his bum leg and high-heels, far away from the ANNOYING paper O-R-I-G-I-N. "Bet it didn't see that. Get it? Cause it doesn't have eyes. No? Fine, it wasn't that good. Anyways, sorry LyricsDusk. Those three life-sized pictures of me were truly beautiful. I'm as sorry as you are about wasting them... And not asking permission to mess them. That too. But mostly the ruined beauty part. Yeah, they looked so good..." And his dialogue ends there before it gets creepy.
(OOC: I have no idea why I said 'clearly unharmed'. I know what I meant was 'not dead yet', but how I made that mistake...) Through the power of the Heeler, humour, and also the narration having said you were clearly unharmed, you are successfully heæled back to complete uninjury! With incredible quantities of thinking in a brain clearly not designed for it, The "wizard" discovers the Windmill has less health then it had last turn, with no marked source! They feel unusually drained, though, even considering the massive quantity of Thinking... Then, The Empty Chimera is thrown into the air by the plain as described, and lands hard. Two of its legs bend fine, absorbing the impact, but the Stabbity leg doesn't have the best of a joint system, and the sharpened point develops a new crack along its length- Legs reduced to decupelquarter condition! which is to say, two and a half. How this happened when it's inside hunger for eggs on toast is a mystery.
You didn't actually realize that the battlefield had disappeared from spacetime from a moment until it zapped back into existence a couple microseconds ago. Huh.
Anyways, I look around, confused at the sudden dislhwyaiajp in spacetime before returning to the fray.
I then drop to one knee, beginning some sort of ritual, engraving runes which seem to make no sense but also somehow remind onlookers of a sword?
3/10 for Sw o r dsvh
knzo r d ers: Join me in battle again, allies!
You start a ritual, and immediately struck by an issue: difficulty seeing runes! It is, after all, nighttime. To be clear, are you rejoining the Zeolhwyan battle, or the Empty Chimera's fight?
I pick up O_R_I_G_I_N and throw him directly at the Chimera. The Empty Chimera stares at him for a second.
Then O_R_I_G_I_N explodes, thanks to the bomb I had detonated earlier, damaging the Chimera.
Then I reveal I merely threw a picture of O_R_I_G_I_ N at the Chimera, thus not damaging O_R_I_G_I_N.
Then I reveal that I lied about that last statement, and I actually threw the real O_R_I_G_I_N instead of a copy!
While the Empty Chimera is distracted by all of these revelations, I grab its Shadow Tendril and use it to hit the Mask.
As you grab the tendril, it begins to flow around your fingers, slipping away as you try to hold onto it, until you eventually give up. You also realise that, since they are inside hunger for eggs on toast, the picture wouldn't really work anyway.
This is never going to work, I think to myself. I call FedEx and ask if they ship inter-dimensionally. Surprisingly, they do. Once I finish talking on the phone, a portal opens up and a FedEx truck drives out of it. I give the delivery man the hangnail cure and a few swords as payment, and he drives into another portal. A few seconds later, the inter-dimensional elephant appears on the battlefield. After this, I start asking around to try to find out who drew the picture of the Empty Chimera and why.
Despite your belief it is never going to work, it works perfectly! Since the charge is filled, the bonus will slightly increase interdimensionality. do you have any specific plans besides this being an elephant which is inter-dimensional? You also ask around. Nobody seems to know where that picture came from- it was just sitting there on the ground when a pigman found it.
EoRR The terror pants and flying spageti monster start to fade back into existence! Steve Idles! The Squidship keeps flyin'. The Mask of Hungry Visitation grows spikes on its tendrils, stabbing at the Empty Chimera for one damage mite! Their two unique health systems war for supremacy as expressions of durability and condition while the behemoth that is standard numerical health watches dispassionately! arguments are tossed back and forth on a conceptual basis. It might even be exciting to watch, if anyone could see it happen and if it didn't occur instantly. In the end, the damage mite is converted into standard damage-26 of it- and then into the Empty Chimeras Dragging Arm reaching Lightly Scratched condition. The Pelicans and assorted Rock entities hold down the Empty Chimera! This will lower the power of their attack. The Claws gleam a dark maroon, sharp and deadly in the darkness of the night. The Chicken clucks softly at its eggs, protecting them. The pigmen... exist! The Anti-Jokester turns into a wall, prompting Trump to look at them approvingly and spend some hella dosh to make them a bigger wall. The Shroomlings finally hatch, having soaked in the darkness of the Empty Chimera and fermented(?) in the eggs. When they rise from the small puddle of egg stuff, they are Shroomlings no more, but now... Pumpkin Snails! *Canned Applause SFX* Despite their diminutive forms, they are fairly powerful. not too much, of course, but notable. One of the Assassins spots an opportunity as Hunger For Eggs On Toast's entities hold down the Empty Chimera (or try to at least), and takes it, sinking a knife deep into a rock crabs rocks. Of course, this doesn't work very well, because it's a rock crab, so they desyncronize and start the level over. Spotting the same openning, they instead leap down from their hiding spot (the toast tree) and stab that knife at the Mask of Hungry Visitations Legs before dodging back. M. of H.VisitMoves too late [5 ] M. of H.Visit Bears the wound [22] M. of H.Visit clamps down on the bleeding[9 ] M. of H.Visit's blood clots fast [38] Due to some unlucky rolls, the Eishalon loses 3 damage mites! And now, it is time for the Empty Chimera to act. Inside Hunger For Eggs On Toast's mouth, it paces not towards the exit, but towards the side. arriving at the flesh at the edge, the muscles on the Dragging Arm tense, and swing forwards, tearing into the mouth's wall- but the swing gets lodged halfway through. Pulling its hand back,the darkness of the arm that drips in unfeeling shadows wreaths the dragging arm, solidifying into several tendrils. Jerkily, like a cruel deity pretending it is still bound by the laws of our world, it draws the arm back again, ethereal blackness forming on the edges of the Claws before fading, and Cuts- And it's enough. A great hole is torn in Hunger For Eggs On Toast's mouth*, and it will surely bleed for a time to come- but still, in the scheme of things, a minor wound. Now free, however, the Empty Chimera turns gracefully, and raises its slender arm slightly. and... White, pure white, white as pure and perfect as the mask upon the Chimeras head, begins to appear around its hands, with fingers too long and an arm far too thin. It thickens, not in any way that can truly be seen, but on a level Hunger For Eggs On Toast can simply Tell. The placement of the hand, and the Chimeras body, hides it from view- Only Hunger For Eggs On Toast can see it. the swirling light is like a flame, and yet clearly not- globs of it float up and fade like a lava lamp from an alien world,brilliantly white, but not shedding any light. They can't see the hand any more, through the white, but they know it's there, deathly still, as though it's not surrounded by a swirling flame from some eldritch sort, a flame far purer then any light, purer then that god Hungry Visitor unbound an angelic being from, purer then pure energy, flame that even across the distance seems to radiate a purity entirely at odds with the rest of the world. And now that deathly still hand begins to move, somehow still seeming still even as its palm faces towards Hungry Visitor, as its too-long fingers stretch towards him, as it sits there, blanked out by the flame and yet clearly There. The Fire starts growing in their vision, a white that is the same as the mask, and yet entirely opposed. The Mask is like a piece of eternity, which shines white and yet greedily guards itself, illuminating nothing as it displays itself to the world, blank, smooth, and eternal, coldly distant like a light shining through a void a trillion miles along, impossibly far and impossibly white. This fire is not a piece of eternity but a fragment of never, born and dying in an moment. And yet, it's still there- but then it has only been a moment. The moment stretches, time almost seeming to fray- but it holds. this fire is not something built to exist, and to it the world is a foreign country. It is pure, shining without light, but it is not impossibly distant like the mask. It is very close at hand, and still seems to be growing, filling Hunger For Eggs On Toast's Vision, flowing blobs of light flickering off of it and fading, a high whine seeming to originate from nowhere. The fire does not belong in reality, and so it does not guard its light in greed, but preservation, for it can only remain so long, and it must hold on to everything it has left. It seems to be swirling faster now, changing shape more rapidly in an invisible breeze, but the fire fills Hunger For Eggs On Toast's vision, and it is pure white, the same at every point, even its thinnest- they can't see it change except at the edges. Instead of heat or cold, it seems to radiate something as adjacent to temperature as this flame is to light, and as this flame is a paradox of pure white which does not glow, the temperature it radiates is like static, hot and cold at once, yet at the same time, neither. The whine increases in volume, and the fingers reach out as the flame washes over the top of Hunger For Eggs On Toasts head, the staticy heat intensifies, and it starts to occur to them that maybe they should have moved out of the- And an immeasurable instant passes, and the flame goes out, and something priceless and yet worthless is extinguished, and The Empty Chimera drops Hunger For Eggs On Toasts head, and then turns away,looking not at any entity in particular, but at the assembled horde before it, and smiles blandly. And in the end, Hunger For Eggs On Toast only received moderate wounds, half from what they really should have dodged. But then, it's a bit too late for that.
*While the Flex Tape protects Hungry Visitors Head, that part's sticking out of Hunger For Eggs On Toast's mouth, because Srovy ate HV and not the other way around.
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium. [A-naturewriter]Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Acerak] Steve 25/25 HP, 0.5 Dig!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) [OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 19/30 HP, In constant pain, a great method of transport. 4A. [OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. ) 0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF. [ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 45 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake. Earth Pelican 43 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity) Rock Crabs 24 Rocks x7 (awakened materials x1) Rock Collector Crab Creator Lobster, 13 Rocks, Create Rock Collector Crab: 2.3333/4. awakened(12/20 integrity) [OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill 7/85 HP. leads to semielemental plane of cakes! Cake Collector Slime, 35 cubic meters of cake. (in semielemental plane) Cake Thornbeast 14 Cakes, 4A, Awakened( 14/22 integrity) Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 2 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Toaster,Complete (30 HP) Stone chicken 64 Rocks. fed. processing food. is a stone chicken. Awakened(26/26 integrity) [OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. [AG-Shard II]Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er. [OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum! Egg(x1 to 3) 20/20 HP (fostered II, Nurtured III. Warmed IV.) Nest -3y-19/0 HP. y=? [OG-SmartTJ]Pigman spawner 5/15 HP (spawns 5 pigmen per round) Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk. Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7 [OG-LyricsJust]Anti-Jokester Wall 45/20 HP, Interferencedo nothing!A [OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder [C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active! Pumpkin Snails 15x9 HP Pumpkin!A [AG] Assorted Assassins, 25x3+30 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 3/1d8 : Assassinate. [AG]Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 3/4 for Namesake Poutine, 60 HP. +8 HP/turn. Is... made of poutine? 1/3 for What Even is Poutine Anyway. In a box and stasis'd for 1! [WAAAAAAAAA]Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. Somehow still here while playing game . [AG]100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event! [All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Pristine. Draggingarm- Pristine. Claws- Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- decupelquarter. Mask- Tarnished porcelain-white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack. Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 110 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Moderate Wounds. pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian. OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god, possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.) Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles. ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.). SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated). Acerak the Eternal. <Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab! slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!> BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby! O_R_I_G_I_N:Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! box of Poutine!
Ouch... pure white... sounds pretty racist actually. I call a black supremacy group and sick them onto the empty chimera. Also I sprinkle some salt with healing properties onto my wound to show how superior my product is. I order my entities to gather rocks and make toasterboy out of rocks, who is tasked with filling the toaster with toast and observing the process to stop the toaster when the toast has reached perfection.
Action 1: "Aww, I was really hoping to steal that hit on the Chimera there. You know, like how axe murderers never kill anyone, their axes do. Really, that might as well have been my Action 4... Hmm... how to get a- NO! No. Focus. Foooooo... kay, what was I saying?" He shakes his head. "Never mind. It was probably something stupid. Anyways, so, theis a poisony thing. Cool. I'll just ignore that for a... year. Yeah, a year sounds good. But, what to do?" The weirdo starts to pace, but is stopped by his... unfavorable footwear. He tumbles to the ground as his high heels ruin his balance. "Yup, that's a good place to start." The weirdo reaches down and tries to pull the high heels off, but finds them stuck. He groans. "NO. I am not getting out the power tools again." He hops up to his feet and pulls a wand out of his sleeves. "Magic time!" The "wizard" waves the wand wildly in the air. He points it down at his shoe and yells, "BEGONE!" A yellow and black striped beam shoots out of the wand and bounces harmlessly off of the high heels. "Right, only works on bees." He raises his wand back up, waves it around, points at his shoes, and shouts, "Disinti-" He stops himself. "On your feet, me? Really. Just, try anything else." He restarts and yells, "Get off!" As the red beam hits the shoe, the high heels float off the ground for just a second before falling back down. "Clarity."
He then seems to get an idea. "Two part spell. Step one." He does it for a fourth time, this time shouting, "Glass!" A clear beam hits the high heels and, surprise surprise (no seriously, this is surprising), they turn to glass! "And now for step two." Raise wand, point, yell, "SHATTE-" "Finally, my princess!" Some idiot Prince Charming comes riding in on his horse. As the broken beam explodes, the wand shatters. Meanwhile, the Prince spots the glass high heels. He rides over to the "wizard" and proclaims, "Hello fair maiden. Are you-" He stops as he realizes that he is talking to neither a maiden or a judge. "What are you doing in those?" The weirdo looks down at his feet. "Oh, right. You must think I'm- No, don't wanna think about it. Anyways, I think she ran off in some pumpkin mobile." An idea dawns on him. "Oh! Right. She must be in one of those." He points at the pumpkin snails. "I think that if you crack one or... one two three four... NINE of those, you might find her." Prince Charming stares at her skeptically, but, somehow, falls for it. "Ah. Then I must go. Thank you fair maiden!" As Prince Charming rides off to save the princess, the "wizard" curses him.
Prince Charming arrives at the pumpkin snails and starts his heroic speech. "Pumpkin creatures, hear me! My princess is in dire need! Relinquish her, please." He takes a rose off of his chest and starts to pose. "She is my true love! Without her, I am broken. Would such cruel cretins keep a man from his love?" He keeps going on and on about true love this, pleading that. Yadayadayada. Somebody shut him up or get to the fighting part. PLEASE.
The narrator's prayers are answered... That's a new one. Bees come swarming down from the sky. The "wizard" notices and shrugs. "I guess I did hit something with that first spell." The bees all buzz around the solitary rose Prince Charming holds in his hand. As they all attempt to pollinate the flower, Prince Charming swats at them. This, of course, causes retaliation. The bees sting the prince, causing his hand and arm to swell. "Why you miscreants!" Prince Charming prepares to strike the bees with his sword, but then, a bee stings his perfect face. This makes Prince Charming very very mad. In fact, one might call him... salty.
Suddenly, Prince Charming disappears in a cloud of salt. The bees all hack and cough as they escape, flying off back into space. The salt falls to the ground and lands on the Pumpkin Snails. The snails quickly feel water being sucked out of them as the salt touches them. The snails cry out in agony as they lose some of their protective goop and instead become way tastier. "How did that do anything!? Whatever, it was probably better than breaking glass on my foot."
Action 2: "Okay, what else to do?" The weirdo attempts to walk again, but somehow can't master his high heels. Then he hears the dictator growl in his To-Go Box. "Oh, right. I did that." The weirdo dumps Poutine out of the box. Poutine growls something about his secret police and executions. The "wizard" ignores him. "Look, Mr. Poutine, sir. I need a tiny flavor- I mean favor. Silly me. Anyways, you see, I've been cooking up- pun totally intended- a plan. And, well, I need the essence of the Greatest Leader known to man. Unfortunately, I couldn't get Lincoln's ghost on the phone. He said something about a sponge and the holidays. I dunno. So, I need just a small DNA sample. I promise I'll give you something better in the trade. Okay? I'll also stop attacking you. No more box, right?" While Poutine is reluctant to take the offer, he realizes that, for some reason, he can't take control of the world inside of a takeout box. Odd. Poutine agrees and gives him a chunk of his arm. "Oh, and I've actually got the better thing right here." The weirdo pulls a plate of biscuits and gravy out of his sleeve and slaps it onto the foreign leader. "Much better."... ACTION 3? TO BE CONTINUED...
ENTITY ACTIONS: I ask Anti-Jokester Wall to fall on Trump, with its wall shape being enough to crush Trump instantly.
ACTION 1: I approach the Empty Chimera until I'm 1 metre away from it. The Empty Chimera stares in confusion, before raising its tendril to strike. As soon as it does that, I throw the Bag of Devouring directly at the Empty Chimera's Mask, where it devours and devours the Mask till the Mask is irrevocably damaged.
ACTION 2: At the stroke of midnight I stand in pre-Moon Minecraft's pitch-black night, holding out a jar. The void of darkness begins to seep into the Glass I am holding, and I smile in anticipation.
ACTION 3: I throw an Assassin Creed's game at the assorted assassins. As the Assassins stare at the game, it starts beeping, then it blows up, taking out many of the Assorted Assassins.
I prepare a specific weakness spell that will activate under certain conditions. If one studies the runes they might see that it induces gluten intolerance. Don't want no one steal my toast.
(I do have a couple of plans, but I mainly summoned it just because I wanted some kind of minion and an inter-dimensional elephant was the first thing I came up with. Also, what are the extra abilities it gets?)
I cast Animate Object on one of my golden swords and order it to assassinate any remaining assassins. I then take a bite out of Poutine and examine the drawing more closely, to try to figure out who drew it.
Action 3: "I'm boooored. I was gonna wait on this, but..." The "wizard" stands up and attempts to walk again, muttering something about third time's the charm. Suffice to say, he was wrong. As he tumbles to the ground, he finds a newly re-summoned dead corpse next to him. [INSERT EXCESSIVE SCREAM]. Once that's done and over with, he actually starts to examine the corpse, and realizes that it is, in fact One Punch Man's corpse. "Really? Why do you people keep leaving these things all over the place?" The weirdo sighs. "It's like I'm the janitor around here, but I don't know karate... I think. Anyways, at least I have something... reasonable to do with this one. As long as no one objects, that is." If anyone objects *cough* orcalordbeyond *cough*, he frowns, puts a Pumpkin Snail in an oven, bakes it at 3,000,000 degrees Kelvin, and gets a beautiful Pumpkin and Escargot Pie. Delicious. Otherwise, he pulls a microphone out of his sleeve and...
WELCOME TO... COOKING WITH COOKOO! "Hey, I didn't agree to that title!" The audience screams with applause as a cooking show appears around them. The weirdo takes in the applause and celebrates himself with them. Finally, as the applause dies down (no guillotines necessary), the weirdo smiles and steps behind the obligatory counter in the middle of the room. On it is a blanketed tray. "Welcome! Welcome. Today, we will be cooking a delicious potion of great power!" The crowd ooh's in anticipation. "And our main ingredient truly is a special one. Please welcome, ONE PUNCH MAN!" As the weirdo throws off the blanket, the crowd is disgusted. Boo's and tomatoes are thrown at the stage. "Hey! Go boo yourselves. You all came here willingly. Except my sponsors, of course, but they're paying for this, so they might as well enjoy it. And the camera men. They're being paid to do this. But you all, nuh-uh. Out. OUT." Most of the studio audience leaves because of his Great Charisma TM. However, for the select few (and camera crew), the show continues.
"Anyways, today, we are going to concoct a powerful potion. What you'll need is one One Punch Man Corpse, one inflated balloon, a piece of coal, three nails, a broken lock, and three gallons of water." All of these ingredients appear in front of the weirdo. "You'll also need a cheese grater, a food processor, and a boiling cauldron filled with your three gallons of water." These also appear on the table. "You see, first, you take the humerus off of Mr. One Punch." He takes out a long knife and a pair of tongs. "Sorry, you'll need these too. And, while you're at it, grab a hammer and blowtorch." He then proceeds to cut into One Punch Man's arm, spilling dried blood and muscle tissue all over the place. "I'll clean that up later." The weirdo takes the tongs and clasps the humerus. With a single yank, the bone is removed from the arm with lots of body fluids still dripping from it. He places the long bone on the counter in front of him and picks up his trusty hammer. "For our next step, we need to crush the bone into tiny little pieces. I'd recommend having your kids do it. I've heard they love that kind of thing." Some guy in a suit sneakily walks onstage and whispers into the "wizard"'s ear. "Oh, never mind, I'm not allowed to say that on camera. Well, then, I recommend doing it yourself." The guy in the suit steps offstage as the "wizard" hits the bone over and over again with the hammer. After hitting the bone at least sixty times, he finally stops, and the bone has turned to pure dust. "Next, you're going to take your bone dust and put it in the food processor." He does so and continues. "After that, you're going to take your coal and your cheese grater, and you'll grate off a few pieces of coal into the food processor." He begins rubbing the coal against the cheese grater. "This could take a minute. You'll want at least ten good shreds of coal." As the first shred drops,a horrible screeching echoes through the studio. "That's just the grater being ruined. I wouldn't worry about it." He keeps screeching for nine more bits of coal before moving on. "Next, you'll need to put your processor onto full kill for a minute." The processor works surprisingly well for the minute it runs. "After that, you take your balloon and stab it with three nails." A loud pop fills the room, followed by two odd, rubber-piercing sounds. "You throw that in the processor. Next, you take your blowtorch and melt the broken lock into the food processor." He sits around with the blowtorch hitting the lock for a good thirteen minutes before he gets bored and throws it in partially melted. "And then you run the processor until it stops. Trust me on this." As the processor runs, the rubber balloon wraps around the blade and forces it to stop. The weirdo continues to try to make the processor go, until finally, smoke starts to rise from it. "This is why we don't have fire alarms in here. Finally, you throw the puree into the cauldron and stir with your knife. Way better than a ladle." He pours the puree in and it immediately turns an eerie gray. As he continues to stir, the liquid turns black, then red, then back to gray. Small red wisps start to appear.
"And now you're done. Now, many here may ask what this does. Is it One Punch Juice? Does it make the user super buff? Does it mimic a wish spell? NO! What are you all thinking! It's depression juice, obviously. Gosh. One Punch Man here is pretty depressed. Then again, I could have used any depressed person. I mean, really kids, if there's some goth kid you don't like in class and want to make a use of, well-" The weirdo is cut off once again as the guy in the suit whispers to him. He stares at the camera, embarrassed. "Right, sorry. Forget I said that. Anyways, depression juice makes whoever drinks it depressed. It's fun for any tea party- or, umm... it's actually pretty stupid. I wouldn't use it. Not at all." He fills a small bottle with it and waves at the crowd. "Well, that's the end of the episode. See you... never." The stage disappears around him as he finds himself back on the battlefield with his microphone, his bottle of Depression Juice, and the One Punch Man corpse. "Well, that was productive."
As the "wizard" prepares to bakes his Pumpkin Escargot Pie, he decides to try some "diplomacy" and starts complaining. "You're no fun! I only stole the guy's humerus. Now that's funny. He can live without it, anyways. Not that he's living, of course. You probably just don't wanna pay attention to what I'm doing. It's just some Depression Juice! It makes people depressed! I'm OG (or something). I was gonna use it on... someone I invited to my tea party. Probably the Godmodder. Paranoid much? And you're not using the corpse anyways. Then again, it isn't my corpse either, but the guy who owns it isn't using it either. Now, if he told me to stop, I'd stop, no questions asked, but you ain't him. And, also, at a lesser, 4th wall breaking note, the username of the idiot writing my dialogue and actions is O_R_I_G_I_N_, not O_R_I_G_I_N., so I can theoretically claim that you didn't stop me, but that's stupid so I won't. But, regardless, I want a WHY, TheGreatOne1115. Is that so hard?" As the "wizard" waits for a reason, he realizes that this is why he has no friends.
"Come on LyricsDusk! None of the jokes I'm planning to use are any worse than the one you just said!... Okay, that's not true. Some of those jokes are, if not cruel, at least pretty bad. Fine. I bet the narratory guy will give you a no joke version right... now."
Action 3: The weirdo chooses to use One Punch Man's corpse, unless OrcalordBeyond or anyone else- "REASONABLY. Sorry, apparently the narrator forgot that." -objects. If someone objects, he puts a Pumpkin Snail in an oven and burns it at 3,000,000 degrees Kelvin. Otherwise, the weirdo takes One Punch Man's upper arm bone, crushes it into dust, and puts it in a food processor. He then grates ten shreds of coal into the processor and runs it on high for a minute. Next, he takes an inflated balloon and sticks three nails into it, popping it. After throwing the balloon into the food processor, he melts a broken lock into the processor. Afterwards, he runs the processor until it stops and starts to smoke. Next, he dumps the contents into a boiling cauldron and stirs. Once the liquid turns to a grey with wisps of red, he takes a small bottle and fills it with the liquid. Finally, everything except for the bottle and One Punch Man's corpse disappear. [INSERT ROBOTIC VOICE]"The potion is called Depression Juice. It makes whoever drinks it depressed."[REMOVE ROBOTIC VOICE]
"See, that was boring! I take solace in the fact that he couldn't get me to say that sad excuse for dialogue." The "wizard" continues to realize that it would be a miracle if he had any friends.
Ouch... pure white... sounds pretty racist actually. I call a black supremacy group and sick them onto the empty chimera. Also I sprinkle some salt with healing properties onto my wound to show how superior my product is. I order my entities to gather rocks and make toasterboy out of rocks, who is tasked with filling the toaster with toast and observing the process to stop the toaster when the toast has reached perfection.
The group shows up, but the Empty Chimera has already cloaked itself in the dripping shadows of its second arm on the left! Unable to locate this "pure white" you spoke of, they storm away. You heal yourself from Moderate Wounds to Mediocre Wounds, the hitherto unknown, and normally unreachable because most players are exactly half as durable as you, state between moderate and minor wounds! You make a toasterboy out of 20 rocks, to toast things!
Action 1: "Aww, I was really hoping to steal that hit on the Chimera there. You know, like how axe murderers never kill anyone, their axes do. Really, that might as well have been my Action 4... Hmm... how to get a- NO! No. Focus. Foooooo... kay, what was I saying?" He shakes his head. "Never mind. It was probably something stupid. Anyways, so, theis a poisony thing. Cool. I'll just ignore that for a... year. Yeah, a year sounds good. But, what to do?" The weirdo starts to pace, but is stopped by his... unfavorable footwear. He tumbles to the ground as his high heels ruin his balance. "Yup, that's a good place to start." The weirdo reaches down and tries to pull the high heels off, but finds them stuck. He groans. "NO. I am not getting out the power tools again." He hops up to his feet and pulls a wand out of his sleeves. "Magic time!" The "wizard" waves the wand wildly in the air. He points it down at his shoe and yells, "BEGONE!" A yellow and black striped beam shoots out of the wand and bounces harmlessly off of the high heels. "Right, only works on bees." He raises his wand back up, waves it around, points at his shoes, and shouts, "Disinti-" He stops himself. "On your feet, me? Really. Just, try anything else." He restarts and yells, "Get off!" As the red beam hits the shoe, the high heels float off the ground for just a second before falling back down. "Clarity."
He then seems to get an idea. "Two part spell. Step one." He does it for a fourth time, this time shouting, "Glass!" A clear beam hits the high heels and, surprise surprise (no seriously, this is surprising), they turn to glass! "And now for step two." Raise wand, point, yell, "SHATTE-" "Finally, my princess!" Some idiot Prince Charming comes riding in on his horse. As the broken beam explodes, the wand shatters. Meanwhile, the Prince spots the glass high heels. He rides over to the "wizard" and proclaims, "Hello fair maiden. Are you-" He stops as he realizes that he is talking to neither a maiden or a judge. "What are you doing in those?" The weirdo looks down at his feet. "Oh, right. You must think I'm- No, don't wanna think about it. Anyways, I think she ran off in some pumpkin mobile." An idea dawns on him. "Oh! Right. She must be in one of those." He points at the pumpkin snails. "I think that if you crack one or... one two three four... NINE of those, you might find her." Prince Charming stares at her skeptically, but, somehow, falls for it. "Ah. Then I must go. Thank you fair maiden!" As Prince Charming rides off to save the princess, the "wizard" curses him.
Prince Charming arrives at the pumpkin snails and starts his heroic speech. "Pumpkin creatures, hear me! My princess is in dire need! Relinquish her, please." He takes a rose off of his chest and starts to pose. "She is my true love! Without her, I am broken. Would such cruel cretins keep a man from his love?" He keeps going on and on about true love this, pleading that. Yadayadayada. Somebody shut him up or get to the fighting part. PLEASE.
The narrator's prayers are answered... That's a new one. Bees come swarming down from the sky. The "wizard" notices and shrugs. "I guess I did hit something with that first spell." The bees all buzz around the solitary rose Prince Charming holds in his hand. As they all attempt to pollinate the flower, Prince Charming swats at them. This, of course, causes retaliation. The bees sting the prince, causing his hand and arm to swell. "Why you miscreants!" Prince Charming prepares to strike the bees with his sword, but then, a bee stings his perfect face. This makes Prince Charming very very mad. In fact, one might call him... salty.
Suddenly, Prince Charming disappears in a cloud of salt. The bees all hack and cough as they escape, flying off back into space. The salt falls to the ground and lands on the Pumpkin Snails. The snails quickly feel water being sucked out of them as the salt touches them. The snails cry out in agony as they lose some of their protective goop and instead become way tastier. "How did that do anything!? Whatever, it was probably better than breaking glass on my foot."
Action 2: "Okay, what else to do?" The weirdo attempts to walk again, but somehow can't master his high heels. Then he hears the dictator growl in his To-Go Box. "Oh, right. I did that." The weirdo dumps Poutine out of the box. Poutine growls something about his secret police and executions. The "wizard" ignores him. "Look, Mr. Poutine, sir. I need a tiny flavor- I mean favor. Silly me. Anyways, you see, I've been cooking up- pun totally intended- a plan. And, well, I need the essence of the Greatest Leader known to man. Unfortunately, I couldn't get Lincoln's ghost on the phone. He said something about a sponge and the holidays. I dunno. So, I need just a small DNA sample. I promise I'll give you something better in the trade. Okay? I'll also stop attacking you. No more box, right?" While Poutine is reluctant to take the offer, he realizes that, for some reason, he can't take control of the world inside of a takeout box. Odd. Poutine agrees and gives him a chunk of his arm. "Oh, and I've actually got the better thing right here." The weirdo pulls a plate of biscuits and gravy out of his sleeve and slaps it onto the foreign leader. "Much better."... ACTION 3? TO BE CONTINUED...
You successfully do... all of those things! the salt does 45 damage to the pumpkin snails, killing three! (the rest of them hid under the salted ones. naturally.) You Then obtain a nice, big, dollop of Poutine! delicious. Poutine is, of course, offended by your suggest that he is worse then some... some... biscuits. He'll have his revenge, oh yes. Soon, very soon indeed, you will rue the day you messed with the mighty Poutine!... or so he says.
ENTITY ACTIONS: I ask Anti-Jokester Wall to fall on Trump, with its wall shape being enough to crush Trump instantly.
ACTION 1: I approach the Empty Chimera until I'm 1 metre away from it. The Empty Chimera stares in confusion, before raising its tendril to strike. As soon as it does that, I throw the Bag of Devouring directly at the Empty Chimera's Mask, where it devours and devours the Mask till the Mask is irrevocably damaged.
ACTION 2: At the stroke of midnight I stand in pre-Moon Minecraft's pitch-black night, holding out a jar. The void of darkness begins to seep into the Glass I am holding, and I smile in anticipation.
NEW CHARGE: Pitch-Black: 1/5
(Bicyclops: 7/10)
The Wall tries- really, it does!- but it's just too sturdy to fall over! Also, its action is currently 'do nothing', so there's that. You throw a bag of devouring at the Empty Chimera's mask! the devouring devouriffication devours the mask all the way to 'Cracked' condition, as a thin fracture forms along the no longer smooth surface of the mask. You start a new charge! The darkness you capture, though- it Writhes, like it has a will of its own. it wants something- and it probably won't willingly bend to your wishes. how to fix that?
ACTION 3: I throw an Assassin Creed's game at the assorted assassins. As the Assassins stare at the game, it starts beeping, then it blows up, taking out many of the Assorted Assassins.
The Assassins cautiously look at the game from a distance. Hearing the beeping, the most recently-born of them jumps back, avoiding the explosion, but the rest each take 6 damage.
The Empty Chimera turns its head, its blank gaze sweeping across the field, a sort of stuttering quality to it as the motion pauses with each new entity, but resumes without any of the smoothness of a normal beings movement. That's odd... Lyricsdusk didn't do anything regarding the chimera, so it shouldn't be doing anything yet... ahem. The Chimera finishes sweeping its head across, and snaps back to look at another entity. There's only one thing which could pose a threat to it right now. It starts advancing towards the Mask of Hungry Visitation, before its triple-joint leg straightens suddenly, and it blurs forwards, all unwinding muscle and tightly controlled motion. Their back leg deftly impacts the ground, narry a sound to be heard, and they crouch, a short distance away, before leaping forwards again, arm slashing past the Mask. Deep gashes open on the Mask, bleeding in countless colors and glowing with the light of stars, a dark red miasma coating them. Twisting, the Empty Chimeras slender arm whips out and wraps itself around the top of the Rock Collector Crab Creator Lobster, before the twist relaxes and pulls the arm in an arc which sends them flying into the pigman spawner, which screeches painfully loudly before stopping, leaking black-red smoke. The shadowy arm solidifies, before starting to bubble vigorously. a blackened lash, covered in dark spikes, is what emerges, and it soars through the air, defying gravity to pierce through the squidship, blood soaking the shadow for the moment before it returns to its place as the Squidship starts to die. And the Empty Chimera turns around again, smiling at the Astral Plane Chicken with that bland smile... but nothing happens. In the end, the Mask takes(formatting excepted. dealing with 5 attacks would just take up space) (5 hits of 5 damage, rolling [12], [1, 30], [35], [12], [32]) one damage mite, the Rock Collector Crab Creator Lobster and Spawner die, the Squidship takes 5 damage, and... well, and then the battle moves on.
The grandiose chants to Joseph the unspeakable continue to issue forth.
Joe summon 4/50.
I grant Steve a fraction of my own spellcasting power, allowing him to do low-level magic stuff and be sentient.
The Chant continues! I think you're a bit beyond that 4/50, though? whatever. Steve recieves an upgrade! With his newfound magical capabilities, he starts off by giving himself some shielding.
I prepare a specific weakness spell that will activate under certain conditions. If one studies the runes they might see that it induces gluten intolerance. Don't want no one steal my toast.
you ensure those who steal your toast will be intolerant of gluten.
(I do have a couple of plans, but I mainly summoned it just because I wanted some kind of minion and an inter-dimensional elephant was the first thing I came up with. Also, what are the extra abilities it gets?)
I cast Animate Object on one of my golden swords and order it to assassinate any remaining assassins. I then take a bite out of Poutine and examine the drawing more closely, to try to figure out who drew it.
(The extra abilities it gets are affected by what your baseline with just the 15 charges is/what the statline you're starting with is, and you said you have a couple plans for it, so you should probably say what they are?) The Golden Sword floats into the air and starts searching for an opportunity to Assassinate an Assassin! Then, you nom some Poutine, doing 24 damage! Lastly, you look closer at the picture. Its odd- some parts seem almost superimposed on the others without particular reason, but it's all on one piece of light-grey paper. There's no obvious 'who did this' clue, though- no signature, or anything, though the coloured parts don't really look like they were made with a pen or anything traditional.
Action 3: "I'm boooored. I was gonna wait on this, but..." The "wizard" stands up and attempts to walk again, muttering something about third time's the charm. Suffice to say, he was wrong. As he tumbles to the ground, he finds a newly re-summoned dead corpse next to him. [INSERT EXCESSIVE SCREAM]. Once that's done and over with, he actually starts to examine the corpse, and realizes that it is, in fact One Punch Man's corpse. "Really? Why do you people keep leaving these things all over the place?" The weirdo sighs. "It's like I'm the janitor around here, but I don't know karate... I think. Anyways, at least I have something... reasonable to do with this one. As long as no one objects, that is." If anyone objects *cough* orcalordbeyond *cough*, he frowns, puts a Pumpkin Snail in an oven, bakes it at 3,000,000 degrees Kelvin, and gets a beautiful Pumpkin and Escargot Pie. Delicious. Otherwise, he pulls a microphone out of his sleeve and...
WELCOME TO... COOKING WITH COOKOO! "Hey, I didn't agree to that title!" The audience screams with applause as a cooking show appears around them. The weirdo takes in the applause and celebrates himself with them. Finally, as the applause dies down (no guillotines necessary), the weirdo smiles and steps behind the obligatory counter in the middle of the room. On it is a blanketed tray. "Welcome! Welcome. Today, we will be cooking a delicious potion of great power!" The crowd ooh's in anticipation. "And our main ingredient truly is a special one. Please welcome, ONE PUNCH MAN!" As the weirdo throws off the blanket, the crowd is disgusted. Boo's and tomatoes are thrown at the stage. "Hey! Go boo yourselves. You all came here willingly. Except my sponsors, of course, but they're paying for this, so they might as well enjoy it. And the camera men. They're being paid to do this. But you all, nuh-uh. Out. OUT." Most of the studio audience leaves because of his Great Charisma TM. However, for the select few (and camera crew), the show continues.
"Anyways, today, we are going to concoct a powerful potion. What you'll need is one One Punch Man Corpse, one inflated balloon, a piece of coal, three nails, a broken lock, and three gallons of water." All of these ingredients appear in front of the weirdo. "You'll also need a cheese grater, a food processor, and a boiling cauldron filled with your three gallons of water." These also appear on the table. "You see, first, you take the humerus off of Mr. One Punch." He takes out a long knife and a pair of tongs. "Sorry, you'll need these too. And, while you're at it, grab a hammer and blowtorch." He then proceeds to cut into One Punch Man's arm, spilling dried blood and muscle tissue all over the place. "I'll clean that up later." The weirdo takes the tongs and clasps the humerus. With a single yank, the bone is removed from the arm with lots of body fluids still dripping from it. He places the long bone on the counter in front of him and picks up his trusty hammer. "For our next step, we need to crush the bone into tiny little pieces. I'd recommend having your kids do it. I've heard they love that kind of thing." Some guy in a suit sneakily walks onstage and whispers into the "wizard"'s ear. "Oh, never mind, I'm not allowed to say that on camera. Well, then, I recommend doing it yourself." The guy in the suit steps offstage as the "wizard" hits the bone over and over again with the hammer. After hitting the bone at least sixty times, he finally stops, and the bone has turned to pure dust. "Next, you're going to take your bone dust and put it in the food processor." He does so and continues. "After that, you're going to take your coal and your cheese grater, and you'll grate off a few pieces of coal into the food processor." He begins rubbing the coal against the cheese grater. "This could take a minute. You'll want at least ten good shreds of coal." As the first shred drops,a horrible screeching echoes through the studio. "That's just the grater being ruined. I wouldn't worry about it." He keeps screeching for nine more bits of coal before moving on. "Next, you'll need to put your processor onto full kill for a minute." The processor works surprisingly well for the minute it runs. "After that, you take your balloon and stab it with three nails." A loud pop fills the room, followed by two odd, rubber-piercing sounds. "You throw that in the processor. Next, you take your blowtorch and melt the broken lock into the food processor." He sits around with the blowtorch hitting the lock for a good thirteen minutes before he gets bored and throws it in partially melted. "And then you run the processor until it stops. Trust me on this." As the processor runs, the rubber balloon wraps around the blade and forces it to stop. The weirdo continues to try to make the processor go, until finally, smoke starts to rise from it. "This is why we don't have fire alarms in here. Finally, you throw the puree into the cauldron and stir with your knife. Way better than a ladle." He pours the puree in and it immediately turns an eerie gray. As he continues to stir, the liquid turns black, then red, then back to gray. Small red wisps start to appear.
"And now you're done. Now, many here may ask what this does. Is it One Punch Juice? Does it make the user super buff? Does it mimic a wish spell? NO! What are you all thinking! It's depression juice, obviously. Gosh. One Punch Man here is pretty depressed. Then again, I could have used any depressed person. I mean, really kids, if there's some goth kid you don't like in class and want to make a use of, well-" The weirdo is cut off once again as the guy in the suit whispers to him. He stares at the camera, embarrassed. "Right, sorry. Forget I said that. Anyways, depression juice makes whoever drinks it depressed. It's fun for any tea party- or, umm... it's actually pretty stupid. I wouldn't use it. Not at all." He fills a small bottle with it and waves at the crowd. "Well, that's the end of the episode. See you... never." The stage disappears around him as he finds himself back on the battlefield with his microphone, his bottle of Depression Juice, and the One Punch Man corpse. "Well, that was productive."
You make the legendary Depression Juice, with all the powers foretold in legend and prophecy or whatever! Through its immense power, you can surely make anyone who drinks it depressed! but... but why though?
Steve does as said above! The Squidship is The Eishalon gathers some more rocks! 14 more, counting the rocks it made while it was being torn into. The Kittenish Pelican and Earth Pelican each gather some more rocks! the crabs gather rocks too, 4+5+1+5+3+4+5=27 rocks.The Windmill creaks ominously in the night. The Cake Collector slime gets more cakes! the Thornbeast idles! the toast tree grows (((1d2=2)d2=1+1)-1)=1 more toast! The Toaster boy puts some ripe toast into the toaster, which starts toasting! The Gold Sword searches for opportunity... The Astral Plane Chickens eggs are starting to shake... they'll hatch soon. but not until daybreak, most likely. The Pigmen idle, the Pyramid Pigman continue to espouse the benefits of their pyramid scheme, the wall continues to not fall over. The Pumpkin snails... hm? Why do I have pumpkin snails listed here? There aren't any pumpkins around, and I doubt there were earlier- The spirit of Halloween is Fear, not some... orange gourd. The Assassins continue to endure. One spots an opportunity, and takes it, killing everyone aboard the Bread Bus, and drawing some fire from the turrets as they escape into hiding- taking 2 damage. Trump has a nice snack of Poutine, courtesy of Poutine, and buys the Wall. Being a wall, and not a person, this is of course completely legal. Lyricsdusk is left with a sizeable quantity of Dosh, but Trump gains some formidable fortifications. Poutine glares at the "wizard", but then turns away. Later. instead, they glance over to the Windmill, and use their Godmodder-granted power! Immediately, massive quantities of Poutine appear in the Semi-Elemental Plane of Cakes, burying all the entities in it in Poutine! they all take the equivalent of 10 damage, and will need a turn to dig themselves out! ...And, that's the end of the update, since the Chimera acted earlier.
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium. [A-naturewriter]Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Acerak] Steve 33/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) [OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 14/30 HP, In constant pain, a method of transport. 4A. [OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. ) 0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF. [ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 50 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake. Earth Pelican 48 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity) Rock Crabs 24 Rocks x7 (awakened materials x1) Rock Collector Crab Creator Lobster, DeadRocks, Create Rock Collector Crab: 2.3333/4. awakened(12/20 integrity) [OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill 2/85 HP. leads to semielemental plane of cakes! Cake Collector Slime, 27 cubic meters of cake. (in semielemental plane. Poutine'd for 1!) Cake Thornbeast 14 Cakes, 4A, Awakened( 4/22 integrity) , Poutine'd for 1! Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 1 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence! Toaster 30/30 HP, Toasting 2 Toast! Toasterboy 20 Rocks Stone chicken 64 Rocks. fed. processing food III. is a stone chicken. Awakened(26/26 integrity) [OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A Bread Bus Dead HP [OG-TheGreatOne] Golden Sword 5/5 HP, 1/1d8: Assassinate. [AG-Shard II]Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er. [OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum! Egg(x1 to 3) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV.) Nest -3y-19/0 HP. y=? [OG-SmartTJ]Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk. Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7 [OG-LyricsJust] Some Dosh. [OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder [C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active! Nothing here- my mistake! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A [AG] Assorted Assassins, 18x3+27 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 3/1d8 : Assassinate. [AG]Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake. The Wall 70/20 HP, Guard Trump!A Poutine, 44 HP. +8 HP/turn. Is... made of poutine? 1/3 for What Even is Poutine Anyway. [WAAAAAAAAA]Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. Somehow still here while playing game . [AG]100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event! [All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Pristine. Draggingarm- Pristine. Claws- Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- decupelquarter. Mask- Cracked porcelain- white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack. Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 90 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Mediocre Wounds. pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian. OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god, possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.) Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles. ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.). SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated). Acerak the Eternal. <Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab! slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!> BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby! O_R_I_G_I_N:Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! box of Poutine!
The sheer power of the apology cascades over Poutine, and he grits his teeth in anger before promptly exploding from sheer rage. And a thrown grenade.
ACTION 2: The darkness shimmers and shakes around the Glass jar I'm holding. As the darkness continues raging, I say, 'The Empty Chimera uses Pure White attacks. Don't you want to surpass your direct opposite?' The darkness stops raging for a moment as it considers this prospect.
Oh no we are loosing troops! Retreat retreat I say. We retreat to the Toast pantheon where the basis of our operations will be. I awaken the Toast pantheon. I awaken the turret and create a stone cannon that shoots rocks at the enemy that surely approaches.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
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This is never going to work, I think to myself. I call FedEx and ask if they ship inter-dimensionally. Surprisingly, they do. Once I finish talking on the phone, a portal opens up and a FedEx truck drives out of it. I give the delivery man the hangnail cure and a few swords as payment, and he drives into another portal. A few seconds later, the inter-dimensional elephant appears on the battlefield. After this, I start asking around to try to find out who drew the picture of the Empty Chimera and why.
You summon One Punch Man! sadly, they are a corpse. This is because they were already summoned, and then eaten by a Grue. One-Punch Man Corpse obtained!
orders given! You distract the Empty Chimera, but the ink quickly starts slipping off! It'll be gone soon!
Your charge continues! I haven't thought of any chargequest challenges, so there still isn't a challenge to solve.
You order your entities and the Mask of Hungry Visitation!
You then work together with it, grabbing and enveloping the Empty Chimera! Then, you use rocks to hold it in! Then, you progress the toaster- it should be ready by next round.
Wiping the Ink off their face, the Empty Chimeras Dragging arm whips out, crashing into the wall of stones and causing it to collapse into a disorderly pile- but it is still enveloped within your arbitrarily large mouth.
Toast Tree gains a Temple! You also build yourself a blaster, and protect your existing things from mold!
you progress the toaster the rest of the way to completion! Also, your stomach starts to warm up, before the Chimeras dark, amorphous arm begins to pour down like some fluid. Crawling along the walls of your mouth, the scattered web-like shadows coat it, chilling it unnaturally. You shiver, and after a few more moments, the shadows retract into the Chimera, the heat negated.
Technically speaking, this is where the masks first action occurs! it pulled the thing in with you.
(OOC: I have no idea why I said 'clearly unharmed'. I know what I meant was 'not dead yet', but how I made that mistake...)
Through the power of the Heeler, humour, and also the narration having said you were clearly unharmed, you are successfully heæled back to complete uninjury!
With incredible quantities of thinking
in a brain clearly not designed for it, The "wizard" discovers the Windmill has less health then it had last turn, with no marked source! They feel unusually drained, though, even considering the massive quantity of Thinking...Then, The Empty Chimera is thrown into the air by the plain as described, and lands hard. Two of its legs bend fine, absorbing the impact, but the Stabbity leg doesn't have the best of a joint system, and the sharpened point develops a new crack along its length- Legs reduced to decupelquarter condition! which is to say, two and a half. How this happened when it's inside hunger for eggs on toast is a mystery.
You start a ritual, and immediately struck by an issue: difficulty seeing runes! It is, after all, nighttime.
To be clear, are you rejoining the Zeolhwyan battle, or the Empty Chimera's fight?
As you grab the tendril, it begins to flow around your fingers, slipping away as you try to hold onto it, until you eventually give up. You also realise that, since they are inside hunger for eggs on toast, the picture wouldn't really work anyway.
Despite your belief it is never going to work, it works perfectly! Since the charge is filled, the bonus will slightly increase interdimensionality. do you have any specific plans besides this being an elephant which is inter-dimensional?
You also ask around. Nobody seems to know where that picture came from- it was just sitting there on the ground when a pigman found it.
EoRR
The terror pants and flying spageti monster start to fade back into existence! Steve Idles! The Squidship keeps flyin'.
The Mask of Hungry Visitation grows spikes on its tendrils, stabbing at the Empty Chimera for one damage mite! Their two unique health systems war for supremacy as expressions of durability and condition while the behemoth that is standard numerical health watches dispassionately! arguments are tossed back and forth on a conceptual basis. It might even be exciting to watch, if anyone could see it happen and if it didn't occur instantly. In the end, the damage mite is converted into standard damage-26 of it- and then into the Empty Chimeras Dragging Arm reaching Lightly Scratched condition.
The Pelicans and assorted Rock entities hold down the Empty Chimera! This will lower the power of their attack.
The Claws gleam a dark maroon, sharp and deadly in the darkness of the night.
The Chicken clucks softly at its eggs, protecting them.
The pigmen... exist! The Anti-Jokester turns into a wall, prompting Trump to look at them approvingly and spend some hella dosh to make them a bigger wall.
The Shroomlings finally hatch, having soaked in the darkness of the Empty Chimera and fermented(?) in the eggs. When they rise from the small puddle of egg stuff, they are Shroomlings no more, but now... Pumpkin Snails! *Canned Applause SFX*
Despite their diminutive forms, they are fairly powerful. not too much, of course, but notable. One of the Assassins spots an opportunity as Hunger For Eggs On Toast's entities hold down the Empty Chimera (or try to at least), and takes it, sinking a knife deep into a rock crabs rocks. Of course, this doesn't work very well, because it's a rock crab, so they desyncronize and start the level over. Spotting the same openning, they instead leap down from their hiding spot (the toast tree) and stab that knife at the Mask of Hungry Visitations Legs before dodging back.
M. of H.Visit Moves too late [5 ]
M. of H.Visit Bears the wound [22]
M. of H.Visit clamps down on the bleeding[9 ]
M. of H.Visit's blood clots fast [38]
Due to some unlucky rolls, the Eishalon loses 3 damage mites!
And now, it is time for the Empty Chimera to act. Inside Hunger For Eggs On Toast's mouth, it paces not towards the exit, but towards the side. arriving at the flesh at the edge, the muscles on the Dragging Arm tense, and swing forwards, tearing into the mouth's wall- but the swing gets lodged halfway through. Pulling its hand back,the darkness of the arm that drips in unfeeling shadows wreaths the dragging arm, solidifying into several tendrils. Jerkily, like a cruel deity pretending it is still bound by the laws of our world, it draws the arm back again, ethereal blackness forming on the edges of the Claws before fading, and Cuts-
And it's enough. A great hole is torn in Hunger For Eggs On Toast's mouth*, and it will surely bleed for a time to come- but still, in the scheme of things, a minor wound.
Now free, however, the Empty Chimera turns gracefully, and raises its slender arm slightly. and...
White, pure white, white as pure and perfect as the mask upon the Chimeras head, begins to appear around its hands, with fingers too long and an arm far too thin. It thickens, not in any way that can truly be seen, but on a level Hunger For Eggs On Toast can simply Tell. The placement of the hand, and the Chimeras body, hides it from view- Only Hunger For Eggs On Toast can see it. the swirling light is like a flame, and yet clearly not- globs of it float up and fade like a lava lamp from an alien world,brilliantly white, but not shedding any light. They can't see the hand any more, through the white, but they know it's there, deathly still, as though it's not surrounded by a swirling flame from some eldritch sort, a flame far purer then any light, purer then that god Hungry Visitor unbound an angelic being from, purer then pure energy, flame that even across the distance seems to radiate a purity entirely at odds with the rest of the world. And now that deathly still hand begins to move, somehow still seeming still even as its palm faces towards Hungry Visitor, as its too-long fingers stretch towards him, as it sits there, blanked out by the flame and yet clearly There. The Fire starts growing in their vision, a white that is the same as the mask, and yet entirely opposed. The Mask is like a piece of eternity, which shines white and yet greedily guards itself, illuminating nothing as it displays itself to the world, blank, smooth, and eternal, coldly distant like a light shining through a void a trillion miles along, impossibly far and impossibly white. This fire is not a piece of eternity but a fragment of never, born and dying in an moment. And yet, it's still there- but then it has only been a moment. The moment stretches, time almost seeming to fray- but it holds. this fire is not something built to exist, and to it the world is a foreign country. It is pure, shining without light, but it is not impossibly distant like the mask. It is very close at hand, and still seems to be growing, filling Hunger For Eggs On Toast's Vision, flowing blobs of light flickering off of it and fading, a high whine seeming to originate from nowhere. The fire does not belong in reality, and so it does not guard its light in greed, but preservation, for it can only remain so long, and it must hold on to everything it has left. It seems to be swirling faster now, changing shape more rapidly in an invisible breeze, but the fire fills Hunger For Eggs On Toast's vision, and it is pure white, the same at every point, even its thinnest- they can't see it change except at the edges. Instead of heat or cold, it seems to radiate something as adjacent to temperature as this flame is to light, and as this flame is a paradox of pure white which does not glow, the temperature it radiates is like static, hot and cold at once, yet at the same time, neither. The whine increases in volume, and the fingers reach out as the flame washes over the top of Hunger For Eggs On Toasts head, the staticy heat intensifies, and it starts to occur to them that maybe they should have moved out of the-
And an immeasurable instant passes, and the flame goes out, and something priceless and yet worthless is extinguished, and The Empty Chimera drops Hunger For Eggs On Toasts head, and then turns away,looking not at any entity in particular, but at the assembled horde before it, and smiles blandly. And in the end, Hunger For Eggs On Toast only received moderate wounds, half from what they really should have dodged. But then, it's a bit too late for that.
*While the Flex Tape protects Hungry Visitors Head, that part's sticking out of Hunger For Eggs On Toast's mouth, because Srovy ate HV and not the other way around.
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium.
0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF.
Pumpkin Snails 15x9 HP Pumpkin!A
pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . 
Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! box of Poutine!
[A-naturewriter] Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Acerak] Steve 25/25 HP, 0.5 Dig!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20)
[OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 19/30 HP, In constant pain, a great method of transport. 4A.
[OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. )
[ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 45 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake.
Earth Pelican 43 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity)
Rock Crabs 24 Rocks x7 (awakened materials x1)
Rock Collector Crab Creator Lobster, 13 Rocks, Create Rock Collector Crab: 2.3333/4. awakened(12/20 integrity)
[OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill 7/85 HP. leads to semielemental plane of cakes!
Cake Collector Slime, 35 cubic meters of cake. (in semielemental plane)
Cake Thornbeast 14 Cakes, 4A, Awakened( 14/22 integrity)
Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 2 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r)
Toaster,Complete (30 HP)
Stone chicken 64 Rocks. fed. processing food. is a stone chicken. Awakened(26/26 integrity)
[OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree.
[AG-Shard II] Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er.
[OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum!
Egg(x1 to 3) 20/20 HP (fostered II, Nurtured III. Warmed IV.)
Nest -3y-19/0 HP. y=?
[OG-SmartTJ] Pigman spawner 5/15 HP (spawns 5 pigmen per round)
Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk.
Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7
[OG-LyricsJust]
Anti-JokesterWall 45/20 HP,Interferencedo nothing!A[OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder
[C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active!
[AG] Assorted Assassins, 25x3+30 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 3/1d8 : Assassinate.
[AG] Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 3/4 for Namesake
Poutine, 60 HP. +8 HP/turn. Is... made of poutine? 1/3 for What Even is Poutine Anyway. In a box and stasis'd for 1!
[WAAAAAAAAA] Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. Somehow still here while playing game .
[AG] 100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event!
[All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Pristine. Dragging arm- Pristine. Claws- Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- decupelquarter. Mask- Tarnished porcelain-white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack.
Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique 'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 110 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Moderate Wounds.
Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian.
OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god, possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.)
Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles.
ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.).
SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated).
Acerak the Eternal.
<Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab!
slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!>BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby!
O_R_I_G_I_N:
Ouch... pure white... sounds pretty racist actually. I call a black supremacy group and sick them onto the empty chimera.
Also I sprinkle some salt with healing properties onto my wound to show how superior my product is.
I order my entities to gather rocks and make toasterboy out of rocks, who is tasked with filling the toaster with toast and observing the process to stop the toaster when the toast has reached perfection.
Action 1: "Aww, I was really hoping to steal that hit on the Chimera there. You know, like how axe murderers never kill anyone, their axes do. Really, that might as well have been my Action 4... Hmm... how to get a- NO! No. Focus. Foooooo... kay, what was I saying?" He shakes his head. "Never mind. It was probably something stupid. Anyways, so, the
is a poisony thing. Cool. I'll just ignore that for a... year. Yeah, a year sounds good. But, what to do?" The weirdo starts to pace, but is stopped by his... unfavorable footwear. He tumbles to the ground as his high heels ruin his balance. "Yup, that's a good place to start." The weirdo reaches down and tries to pull the high heels off, but finds them stuck. He groans. "NO. I am not getting out the power tools again." He hops up to his feet and pulls a wand out of his sleeves. "Magic time!" The "wizard" waves the wand wildly in the air. He points it down at his shoe and yells, "BEGONE!" A yellow and black striped beam shoots out of the wand and bounces harmlessly off of the high heels. "Right, only works on bees." He raises his wand back up, waves it around, points at his shoes, and shouts, "Disinti-" He stops himself. "On your feet, me? Really. Just, try anything else." He restarts and yells, "Get off!" As the red beam hits the shoe, the high heels float off the ground for just a second before falling back down. "Clarity."
He then seems to get an idea. "Two part spell. Step one." He does it for a fourth time, this time shouting, "Glass!" A clear beam hits the high heels and, surprise surprise (no seriously, this is surprising), they turn to glass! "And now for step two." Raise wand, point, yell, "SHATTE-" "Finally, my princess!" Some idiot Prince Charming comes riding in on his horse. As the broken beam explodes, the wand shatters. Meanwhile, the Prince spots the glass high heels. He rides over to the "wizard" and proclaims, "Hello fair maiden. Are you-" He stops as he realizes that he is talking to neither a maiden or a judge. "What are you doing in those?" The weirdo looks down at his feet. "Oh, right. You must think I'm- No, don't wanna think about it. Anyways, I think she ran off in some pumpkin mobile." An idea dawns on him. "Oh! Right. She must be in one of those." He points at the pumpkin snails. "I think that if you crack one or... one two three four... NINE of those, you might find her." Prince Charming stares at her skeptically, but, somehow, falls for it. "Ah. Then I must go. Thank you fair maiden!" As Prince Charming rides off to save the princess, the "wizard" curses him.
Prince Charming arrives at the pumpkin snails and starts his heroic speech. "Pumpkin creatures, hear me! My princess is in dire need! Relinquish her, please." He takes a rose off of his chest and starts to pose. "She is my true love! Without her, I am broken. Would such cruel cretins keep a man from his love?" He keeps going on and on about true love this, pleading that. Yadayadayada. Somebody shut him up or get to the fighting part. PLEASE.
The narrator's prayers are answered... That's a new one. Bees come swarming down from the sky. The "wizard" notices and shrugs. "I guess I did hit something with that first spell." The bees all buzz around the solitary rose Prince Charming holds in his hand. As they all attempt to pollinate the flower, Prince Charming swats at them. This, of course, causes retaliation. The bees sting the prince, causing his hand and arm to swell. "Why you miscreants!" Prince Charming prepares to strike the bees with his sword, but then, a bee stings his perfect face. This makes Prince Charming very very mad. In fact, one might call him... salty.
Suddenly, Prince Charming disappears in a cloud of salt. The bees all hack and cough as they escape, flying off back into space. The salt falls to the ground and lands on the Pumpkin Snails. The snails quickly feel water being sucked out of them as the salt touches them. The snails cry out in agony as they lose some of their protective goop and instead become way tastier. "How did that do anything!? Whatever, it was probably better than breaking glass on my foot."
Action 2: "Okay, what else to do?" The weirdo attempts to walk again, but somehow can't master his high heels. Then he hears the dictator growl in his To-Go Box. "Oh, right. I did that." The weirdo dumps Poutine out of the box. Poutine growls something about his secret police and executions. The "wizard" ignores him. "Look, Mr. Poutine, sir. I need a tiny flavor- I mean favor. Silly me. Anyways, you see, I've been cooking up- pun totally intended- a plan. And, well, I need the essence of the Greatest Leader known to man. Unfortunately, I couldn't get Lincoln's ghost on the phone. He said something about a sponge and the holidays. I dunno. So, I need just a small DNA sample. I promise I'll give you something better in the trade. Okay? I'll also stop attacking you. No more box, right?" While Poutine is reluctant to take the offer, he realizes that, for some reason, he can't take control of the world inside of a takeout box. Odd. Poutine agrees and gives him a chunk of his arm. "Oh, and I've actually got the better thing right here." The weirdo pulls a plate of biscuits and gravy out of his sleeve and slaps it onto the foreign leader. "Much better."... ACTION 3? TO BE CONTINUED...
ENTITY ACTIONS: I ask Anti-Jokester Wall to fall on Trump, with its wall shape being enough to crush Trump instantly.
ACTION 1: I approach the Empty Chimera until I'm 1 metre away from it. The Empty Chimera stares in confusion, before raising its tendril to strike. As soon as it does that, I throw the Bag of Devouring directly at the Empty Chimera's Mask, where it devours and devours the Mask till the Mask is irrevocably damaged.
ACTION 2: At the stroke of midnight I stand in pre-Moon Minecraft's pitch-black night, holding out a jar. The void of darkness begins to seep into the Glass I am holding, and I smile in anticipation.
NEW CHARGE: Pitch-Black: 1/5
(Bicyclops: 7/10)
I fashion myself a croissant scimitar. I make the bagel bus a bus with many bread people. On the Parthenon O create turrets that shoot stale cookies
ACTION 3: I throw an Assassin Creed's game at the assorted assassins. As the Assassins stare at the game, it starts beeping, then it blows up, taking out many of the Assorted Assassins.
The grandiose chants to Joseph the unspeakable continue to issue forth.
Joe summon 4/50.
I grant Steve a fraction of my own spellcasting power, allowing him to do low-level magic stuff and be sentient.
Walton Gibson - Human Cleric, Level 1
I prepare a specific weakness spell that will activate under certain conditions. If one studies the runes they might see that it induces gluten intolerance. Don't want no one steal my toast.
(I do have a couple of plans, but I mainly summoned it just because I wanted some kind of minion and an inter-dimensional elephant was the first thing I came up with. Also, what are the extra abilities it gets?)
I cast Animate Object on one of my golden swords and order it to assassinate any remaining assassins. I then take a bite out of Poutine and examine the drawing more closely, to try to figure out who drew it.
Action 3: "I'm boooored. I was gonna wait on this, but..." The "wizard" stands up and attempts to walk again, muttering something about third time's the charm. Suffice to say, he was wrong. As he tumbles to the ground, he finds a newly re-summoned dead corpse next to him. [INSERT EXCESSIVE SCREAM]. Once that's done and over with, he actually starts to examine the corpse, and realizes that it is, in fact One Punch Man's corpse. "Really? Why do you people keep leaving these things all over the place?" The weirdo sighs. "It's like I'm the janitor around here, but I don't know karate... I think. Anyways, at least I have something... reasonable to do with this one. As long as no one objects, that is." If anyone objects *cough* orcalordbeyond *cough*, he frowns, puts a Pumpkin Snail in an oven, bakes it at 3,000,000 degrees Kelvin, and gets a beautiful Pumpkin and Escargot Pie. Delicious. Otherwise, he pulls a microphone out of his sleeve and...
WELCOME TO... COOKING WITH COOKOO! "Hey, I didn't agree to that title!" The audience screams with applause as a cooking show appears around them. The weirdo takes in the applause and celebrates himself with them. Finally, as the applause dies down (no guillotines necessary), the weirdo smiles and steps behind the obligatory counter in the middle of the room. On it is a blanketed tray. "Welcome! Welcome. Today, we will be cooking a delicious potion of great power!" The crowd ooh's in anticipation. "And our main ingredient truly is a special one. Please welcome, ONE PUNCH MAN!" As the weirdo throws off the blanket, the crowd is disgusted. Boo's and tomatoes are thrown at the stage. "Hey! Go boo yourselves. You all came here willingly. Except my sponsors, of course, but they're paying for this, so they might as well enjoy it. And the camera men. They're being paid to do this. But you all, nuh-uh. Out. OUT." Most of the studio audience leaves because of his Great Charisma TM. However, for the select few (and camera crew), the show continues.
"Anyways, today, we are going to concoct a powerful potion. What you'll need is one One Punch Man Corpse, one inflated balloon, a piece of coal, three nails, a broken lock, and three gallons of water." All of these ingredients appear in front of the weirdo. "You'll also need a cheese grater, a food processor, and a boiling cauldron filled with your three gallons of water." These also appear on the table. "You see, first, you take the humerus off of Mr. One Punch." He takes out a long knife and a pair of tongs. "Sorry, you'll need these too. And, while you're at it, grab a hammer and blowtorch." He then proceeds to cut into One Punch Man's arm, spilling dried blood and muscle tissue all over the place. "I'll clean that up later." The weirdo takes the tongs and clasps the humerus. With a single yank, the bone is removed from the arm with lots of body fluids still dripping from it. He places the long bone on the counter in front of him and picks up his trusty hammer. "For our next step, we need to crush the bone into tiny little pieces. I'd recommend having your kids do it. I've heard they love that kind of thing." Some guy in a suit sneakily walks onstage and whispers into the "wizard"'s ear. "Oh, never mind, I'm not allowed to say that on camera. Well, then, I recommend doing it yourself." The guy in the suit steps offstage as the "wizard" hits the bone over and over again with the hammer. After hitting the bone at least sixty times, he finally stops, and the bone has turned to pure dust. "Next, you're going to take your bone dust and put it in the food processor." He does so and continues. "After that, you're going to take your coal and your cheese grater, and you'll grate off a few pieces of coal into the food processor." He begins rubbing the coal against the cheese grater. "This could take a minute. You'll want at least ten good shreds of coal." As the first shred drops,a horrible screeching echoes through the studio. "That's just the grater being ruined. I wouldn't worry about it." He keeps screeching for nine more bits of coal before moving on. "Next, you'll need to put your processor onto full kill for a minute." The processor works surprisingly well for the minute it runs. "After that, you take your balloon and stab it with three nails." A loud pop fills the room, followed by two odd, rubber-piercing sounds. "You throw that in the processor. Next, you take your blowtorch and melt the broken lock into the food processor." He sits around with the blowtorch hitting the lock for a good thirteen minutes before he gets bored and throws it in partially melted. "And then you run the processor until it stops. Trust me on this." As the processor runs, the rubber balloon wraps around the blade and forces it to stop. The weirdo continues to try to make the processor go, until finally, smoke starts to rise from it. "This is why we don't have fire alarms in here. Finally, you throw the puree into the cauldron and stir with your knife. Way better than a ladle." He pours the puree in and it immediately turns an eerie gray. As he continues to stir, the liquid turns black, then red, then back to gray. Small red wisps start to appear.
"And now you're done. Now, many here may ask what this does. Is it One Punch Juice? Does it make the user super buff? Does it mimic a wish spell? NO! What are you all thinking! It's depression juice, obviously. Gosh. One Punch Man here is pretty depressed. Then again, I could have used any depressed person. I mean, really kids, if there's some goth kid you don't like in class and want to make a use of, well-" The weirdo is cut off once again as the guy in the suit whispers to him. He stares at the camera, embarrassed. "Right, sorry. Forget I said that. Anyways, depression juice makes whoever drinks it depressed. It's fun for any tea party- or, umm... it's actually pretty stupid. I wouldn't use it. Not at all." He fills a small bottle with it and waves at the crowd. "Well, that's the end of the episode. See you... never." The stage disappears around him as he finds himself back on the battlefield with his microphone, his bottle of Depression Juice, and the One Punch Man corpse. "Well, that was productive."
I object, O_R_I_G_I_N.
As the "wizard" prepares to bakes his Pumpkin Escargot Pie, he decides to try some "diplomacy" and starts complaining. "You're no fun! I only stole the guy's humerus. Now that's funny. He can live without it, anyways. Not that he's living, of course. You probably just don't wanna pay attention to what I'm doing. It's just some Depression Juice! It makes people depressed! I'm OG (or something). I was gonna use it on... someone I invited to my tea party. Probably the Godmodder. Paranoid much? And you're not using the corpse anyways. Then again, it isn't my corpse either, but the guy who owns it isn't using it either. Now, if he told me to stop, I'd stop, no questions asked, but you ain't him. And, also, at a lesser, 4th wall breaking note, the username of the idiot writing my dialogue and actions is O_R_I_G_I_N_, not O_R_I_G_I_N., so I can theoretically claim that you didn't stop me, but that's stupid so I won't. But, regardless, I want a WHY, TheGreatOne1115. Is that so hard?" As the "wizard" waits for a reason, he realizes that this is why he has no friends.
/rpnull
Whatever you're trying to do, O_R_I_G_I_N_, please stop trying to be humerus.
"Come on LyricsDusk! None of the jokes I'm planning to use are any worse than the one you just said!... Okay, that's not true. Some of those jokes are, if not cruel, at least pretty bad. Fine. I bet the narratory guy will give you a no joke version right... now."
"See, that was boring! I take solace in the fact that he couldn't get me to say that sad excuse for dialogue." The "wizard" continues to realize that it would be a miracle if he had any friends.
/joke_rp_null
The group shows up, but the Empty Chimera has already cloaked itself in the dripping shadows of its second arm on the left! Unable to locate this "pure white" you spoke of, they storm away. You heal yourself from Moderate Wounds to Mediocre Wounds, the hitherto unknown, and normally unreachable because most players are exactly half as durable as you, state between moderate and minor wounds! You make a toasterboy out of 20 rocks, to toast things!
You successfully do... all of those things! the salt does 45 damage to the pumpkin snails, killing three! (the rest of them hid under the salted ones. naturally.)
You Then obtain a nice, big, dollop of Poutine! delicious. Poutine is, of course, offended by your suggest that he is worse then some... some... biscuits. He'll have his revenge, oh yes. Soon, very soon indeed, you will rue the day you messed with the mighty Poutine!... or so he says.
The Wall tries- really, it does!- but it's just too sturdy to fall over! Also, its action is currently 'do nothing', so there's that.
You throw a bag of devouring at the Empty Chimera's mask! the devouring devouriffication devours the mask all the way to 'Cracked' condition, as a thin fracture forms along the no longer smooth surface of the mask.
You start a new charge! The darkness you capture, though- it Writhes, like it has a will of its own. it wants something- and it probably won't willingly bend to your wishes. how to fix that?
You create a Croissant Scimitar, a bus of bread, and some turrets!
The Assassins cautiously look at the game from a distance. Hearing the beeping, the most recently-born of them jumps back, avoiding the explosion, but the rest each take 6 damage.
The Empty Chimera turns its head, its blank gaze sweeping across the field, a sort of stuttering quality to it as the motion pauses with each new entity, but resumes without any of the smoothness of a normal beings movement. That's odd... Lyricsdusk didn't do anything regarding the chimera, so it shouldn't be doing anything yet... ahem. The Chimera finishes sweeping its head across, and snaps back to look at another entity. There's only one thing which could pose a threat to it right now. It starts advancing towards the Mask of Hungry Visitation, before its triple-joint leg straightens suddenly, and it blurs forwards, all unwinding muscle and tightly controlled motion. Their back leg deftly impacts the ground, narry a sound to be heard, and they crouch, a short distance away, before leaping forwards again, arm slashing past the Mask. Deep gashes open on the Mask, bleeding in countless colors and glowing with the light of stars, a dark red miasma coating them. Twisting, the Empty Chimeras slender arm whips out and wraps itself around the top of the Rock Collector Crab Creator Lobster, before the twist relaxes and pulls the arm in an arc which sends them flying into the pigman spawner, which screeches painfully loudly before stopping, leaking black-red smoke. The shadowy arm solidifies, before starting to bubble vigorously. a blackened lash, covered in dark spikes, is what emerges, and it soars through the air, defying gravity to pierce through the squidship, blood soaking the shadow for the moment before it returns to its place as the Squidship starts to die. And the Empty Chimera turns around again, smiling at the Astral Plane Chicken with that bland smile... but nothing happens.
In the end, the Mask takes(formatting excepted. dealing with 5 attacks would just take up space) (5 hits of 5 damage, rolling [12], [1, 30], [35], [12], [32]) one damage mite, the Rock Collector Crab Creator Lobster and Spawner die, the Squidship takes 5 damage, and... well, and then the battle moves on.
The Chant continues! I think you're a bit beyond that 4/50, though? whatever.
Steve recieves an upgrade! With his newfound magical capabilities, he starts off by giving himself some shielding.
you ensure those who steal your toast will be intolerant of gluten.
(The extra abilities it gets are affected by what your baseline with just the 15 charges is/what the statline you're starting with is, and you said you have a couple plans for it, so you should probably say what they are?)
The Golden Sword floats into the air and starts searching for an opportunity to Assassinate an Assassin! Then, you nom some Poutine, doing 24 damage!
Lastly, you look closer at the picture. Its odd- some parts seem almost superimposed on the others without particular reason, but it's all on one piece of light-grey paper. There's no obvious 'who did this' clue, though- no signature, or anything, though the coloured parts don't really look like they were made with a pen or anything traditional.
You make the legendary Depression Juice, with all the powers foretold in legend and prophecy or whatever! Through its immense power, you can surely make anyone who drinks it depressed! but... but why though?
Steve does as said above! The Squidship is
The Eishalon gathers some more rocks! 14 more, counting the rocks it made while it was being torn into. The Kittenish Pelican and Earth Pelican each gather some more rocks! the crabs gather rocks too, 4+5+1+5+3+4+5=27 rocks.The Windmill creaks ominously in the night. The Cake Collector slime gets more cakes! the Thornbeast idles! the toast tree grows (((1d2=2)d2=1+1)-1)=1 more toast! The Toaster boy puts some ripe toast into the toaster, which starts toasting! The Gold Sword searches for opportunity...
The Astral Plane Chickens eggs are starting to shake... they'll hatch soon. but not until daybreak, most likely.
The Pigmen idle, the Pyramid Pigman continue to espouse the benefits of their pyramid scheme, the wall continues to not fall over.
The Pumpkin snails... hm? Why do I have pumpkin snails listed here? There aren't any pumpkins around, and I doubt there were earlier- The spirit of Halloween is Fear, not some... orange gourd.
The Assassins continue to endure. One spots an opportunity, and takes it, killing everyone aboard the Bread Bus, and drawing some fire from the turrets as they escape into hiding- taking 2 damage.
Trump has a nice snack of Poutine, courtesy of Poutine, and buys the Wall. Being a wall, and not a person, this is of course completely legal. Lyricsdusk is left with a sizeable quantity of Dosh, but Trump gains some formidable fortifications.
Poutine glares at the "wizard", but then turns away. Later. instead, they glance over to the Windmill, and use their Godmodder-granted power! Immediately, massive quantities of Poutine appear in the Semi-Elemental Plane of Cakes, burying all the entities in it in Poutine! they all take the equivalent of 10 damage, and will need a turn to dig themselves out!
...And, that's the end of the update, since the Chimera acted earlier.
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium.
method of transport. 4A.
0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF.
Nothing here- my mistake! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A
pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . 
Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! box of Poutine!
[A-naturewriter] Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Acerak] Steve 33/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20)
[OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 14/30 HP, In constant pain, a
[OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. )
[ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 50 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake.
Earth Pelican 48 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity)
Rock Crabs 24 Rocks x7 (awakened materials x1)
Rock Collector Crab Creator Lobster, Dead
Rocks, Create Rock Collector Crab: 2.3333/4.awakened(12/20 integrity)[OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill 2/85 HP. leads to semielemental plane of cakes!
Cake Collector Slime, 27 cubic meters of cake. (in semielemental plane. Poutine'd for 1!)
Cake Thornbeast 14 Cakes, 4A, Awakened( 4/22 integrity) , Poutine'd for 1!
Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 1 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence!
Toaster 30/30 HP, Toasting 2 Toast!
Toasterboy 20 Rocks
Stone chicken 64 Rocks. fed. processing food III. is a stone chicken. Awakened(26/26 integrity)
[OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree.
Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A
Bread Bus Dead HP
[OG-TheGreatOne] Golden Sword 5/5 HP, 1/1d8: Assassinate.
[AG-Shard II] Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er.
[OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum!
Egg(x1 to 3) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV.)
Nest -3y-19/0 HP. y=?
[OG-SmartTJ] Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk.
Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7
[OG-LyricsJust] Some Dosh.
[OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder
[C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active!
[AG] Assorted Assassins, 18x3+27 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 3/1d8 : Assassinate.
[AG] Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake.
The Wall 70/20 HP, Guard Trump!A
Poutine, 44 HP. +8 HP/turn. Is... made of poutine? 1/3 for What Even is Poutine Anyway.
[WAAAAAAAAA] Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. Somehow still here while playing game .
[AG] 100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event!
[All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Pristine. Dragging arm- Pristine. Claws-
Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- decupelquarter. Mask- Cracked porcelain-
white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack.
Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique 'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 90 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Mediocre Wounds.
Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian.
OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god, possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.)
Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles.
ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.).
SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated).
Acerak the Eternal.
<Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab!
slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!>BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby!
O_R_I_G_I_N:
I cast fly on myself
I like 2 play spellcasters that can learn misty step.Also I like to play halflings,elves,dragonborn,warforged,teiflingfs, and half elf
Characters I play: Adron Nightbreeze
Help us Fight the godmodder! We need all the help we can get!
https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/user/Orcalord (use link to get to homebrewery)
ENTITY ACTIONS: Um. I command the dosh to punch Poutine, I guess?
ACTION 1: I realise that I forgot to apologize to O-R-I-G-I-N-, and decide I have to give it. Now. As a song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCRT8IItGpw
The sheer power of the apology cascades over Poutine, and he grits his teeth in anger before promptly exploding from sheer rage. And a thrown grenade.
ACTION 2: The darkness shimmers and shakes around the Glass jar I'm holding. As the darkness continues raging, I say, 'The Empty Chimera uses Pure White attacks. Don't you want to surpass your direct opposite?' The darkness stops raging for a moment as it considers this prospect.
Pitch-Black: 2/5
(Bicyclops: 7/10)
The Rites of Joseph the Unspeakable continue on through this action, the chants to Joe and his associates Yuri and Sugma ringing out through the air.
Steve, meanwhile, gets one an order: ensure the safety of the Squidship and make especially sure that nobody interrupts the ritual.
Joe 5/50.
Walton Gibson - Human Cleric, Level 1
Oh no we are loosing troops! Retreat retreat I say. We retreat to the Toast pantheon where the basis of our operations will be. I awaken the Toast pantheon.
I awaken the turret and create a stone cannon that shoots rocks at the enemy that surely approaches.