Action 1: I hold the stone of dusk up to the animated golden swords. Assuming this doesn’t go horribly wrong due to the stone being off, the swords start to glow and change shape. When this stops, the two swords have changed into a larger sword and a shield, which is definitely not a ripoff of Aegislash.
Actions 2 & 3: I continue the ritual to Joe.
Joe: 21/50
Orders: Not Aegislash, keep waiting for opportunities to assassinate assassins! Elephant and Pyramid Pigmen, look for people to join the pyramid scheme!
(Same here, O_R_I_G_I_N_, I ran out of creative juices a while ago.)
Rock gunner, fix the rock cannon. Toast boy, watch the toast. Overseer, oversee the entities. Mask, defend the base against attackers. Entities left collect rock. I upgrade the Overseer with the collected rock, giving the overseer the ability to increase the overall rock morale. I create yet another 2-way portal and pull the Unique Magic Factory into the base. I try to upgrade rocks into special rock ammunition that is better than normal rock using the Unique Magic Factory.
Orders given. You upgrade the overseer. they will now try to improve the morale of these rocks. you create a two-way portal! However, you can't get your hand through it- it looks like it's impossible to go back into The Update Room!
You also receive a notification from later in the round. Your Pyramid Scheme has run out of healing salt! they need a new source, and soon! they can hold off on actually delivering until morning, but...
I petition Joe for knowledge of how I might locate the sect members, so I may slay them in his name, and I put a temporary invisibility spell on the ship (2 turns).
Gary orders: JUST KEEP THE SHIP ALIVE. PLEASE.
Joe Ritual: 19/50
Joe informs you that they're all disguised as bovemists, so they'll probably be wearing cow masks. Just then, the Squidship touches down outside of the town. near the outskirts is a small church with the label "bovemist church" nailed over a worn sign. It looks a little something like this: <IMAGE TO COME> Hi, It's me from like four years later as I swap image hosting from discord to google manually. the image never comes. Steve just realizes you don't even know his name! It's Steve! Gary re-died already! he's incredibly put out at the discovery of your lack of attention.
ENTITY ACTIONS: Darkness, strike at the Wall's vital points.
ACTION 1: Time to deal with the Empty Chimera's arms.
I fling a knife at the Chimera's dragging arm, lodging the knife directly into the arm. Then the knife starts twisting, rotating, destroying vital veins and muscles, before it finally explodes into shrapnel that cuts deeply into the Empty Chimera's dragging arm.
ACTION 2 (Charge): The bicyclic creature begins twisting itself into a shape, resembling a... cyclops?
Bicyclops: 9/10
Darkness accedes your request... The Chimera jerks its arm aside, dodging the knife! you continue the Bicyclops charge.
GOD LEVEL MAGIC MISSILE AT THE GODMODDER THREE TIMES
The Godmodder... isn't here... so. Let's say you targetted the Chimera instead! The first missile gets swatted, and the second one sinks into a wall of shadows and expires, but the third crashes into the Mask, lowering it to Rent condition as it widens the existing cracks! white light is shimmering out of them...
Entity Order: "Ah, finally. I was getting bored of the color orange. So, Demogoblin, you go slide down there and see if you can find any good bombing pumpkins. I'd suggest watching for landmines. These snails seem a bit fishy." "And what are you going to do?" "Hijack a snail." And so Demogoblin slides down the snail in search of pumpkins and the weirdo moves on to Action 1.
Action 1: The "wizard" holds up a map of a snail's inner anatomy as a tourist would hold a map of Hong Kong. His hands are fully extended as if it was actually made of snail guts (which aren't as bad as you'd expect when everything tastes pumpkiny), and he keeps flipping the map around as if he could have the model upside down. Finally, he gives a questioning nod. "Huh. Snail brains are actually above the mouth. That's almost weird. I dunno why. Well, I'm in the mouth, so the... radula, apparently... should be..." It is then that he realizes he is standing on it. "Okay! Into the nervous system I go! MINISCULOSO PEN-INFINTESIMO ATOMONY!" As he yells all of that gibberish, he suddenly becomes very very tiny. So tiny, in fact, that he cannot be seen by the naked eye. So small, that he could shake the hand of a sodium atom that seems huge in comparison. So small, that he is small. "Wait. WHAT!? This wasn't what I was going for! I was gonna shrink the snail and fit it into my pocket! I was gonna make a radula joke and everything! It was gonna be a good one too. What happens when a snail loses its radula? Pi aren't squared!... That sounded better in my head... Okay, who am I kidding. That was never gonna be funny. I think if it wasn't a snail pun it would be better." The weirdo then seems to realize he was targeted by the spell. "What am I gonna do now?"
Action 2: Looking at his map again, he realizes that snails ave nerves. That means they have a brain. "That could work." At his new size, the "wizard" squeezes into the radula, finds a motor neuron, and climbs the snail's motor neuron pathways all the way to its brain. "You know, this is actually pretty useful. Think of the dodge chance. Too bad I was using the one turn variant. I figured once the snail was small, I could just shove it in my safe... Then again, it could have dodged. Meh."
Action 3: Once at the brain, the weirdo gets to work. He produces tons of wires out of his sleeves and plugs them into as many points in the snail's brain he can fit. He then plugs them into a single microphone. "Watch, this is how all mind control works." He screams into the microphone, "TURN TOWARDS THE PORTAL YOU STUPID SNAIL." As the vibrations are shot directly into the snail's brain as a somewhat subconscious message, the microphone breaks. "Whoops. Too loud." With nothing else to do in the brain, he tries to squeeze a bit of excess Action 2 energy into Action 3 and sneaks back to the snail's mouth and finally leaves the snail, probably to land on some pumpkin landmine or a pumpkin bear trap. That second one could be tasty. A pumpkin bear. Bear fur probably goes great with pumpkin.
(Hmm... Ran out of creative juices for this one. Meh.)
Demogoblin ordered! You try to get the snail to turn towards the portal! whether or not this has worked isn't very clear, since snails are slow. (yeah... I can see that. That said, you've already been quite impressively consistent with regards to interesting/amusing/creative flavour-text, so... I forget the point I was making. I bet it was a good one, though!)
Action 1: I hold the stone of dusk up to the animated golden swords. Assuming this doesn’t go horribly wrong due to the stone being off, the swords start to glow and change shape. When this stops, the two swords have changed into a larger sword and a shield, which is definitely not a ripoff of Aegislash.
Actions 2 & 3: I continue the ritual to Joe.
Joe: 21/50
Orders: Not Aegislash, keep waiting for opportunities to assassinate assassins! Elephant and Pyramid Pigmen, look for people to join the pyramid scheme!
(Same here, O_R_I_G_I_N_, I ran out of creative juices a while ago.)
The sword is covered in curved spikes, and the shield has two eyes engraved in it that are constantly crying caustic green blood, along with an alloy of metals representing a mouth with too many teeth via different shades, but the base structure appears to have been properly created. this is definitely not an Aegislash. very not. ...Though something did go wrong with the summon, it doesn't seem to have any relation to the Empty Chimera; no mind-bending colors or ethereal simplicity, and it worked out well enough. Not-Aegislash summoned! Ritual continues! EoRR Steve is feeling a bit put out at learning their master doesn't even know their name. this might have affected their healing efficiancy, but the Squidship survives the round regardless. The Mask of Hungry Visitation watches out for attacks in preperation of defending HV's stuff. The pelicans collect rocks... the earth pelican seems thoughtful. crabs collect rocks. 5+3+5+5+3+3 rocks, or, 24 rocks. Toast stuff... continues. the Toasterboy pulls out the toast and puts in new toast to toast. The gunner is unable to fix the launcher, but they do clear away some of the Poutine. Not-Aegislash keeps looking for opportunities to slay those fool assassins... The Pyramid Pigmen and Elephant work on the pyramid scheme! However, there is a problem: They've run out of salt to sell! They need more healing salt! ...The Darkness Given Form assaults the wall! It... doesn't really have any vital points, but it gets attacked anyway, taking 20 damage(to the awakening bar.)!
The Pumpkin Snails keep watch on their infinite pumpkin patch. is the giant snail... off balance? it seems to be listing to the side... The Demogoblin gets some pumpkins! The Assassins... loiter! yeah! Trump gets onto the national worldwide super stock auction trade exchange house market and, with poutine's help and a lot of cheap anonymous relays, floods the market with high-quality poutine! As it turns out, nobody else in the world both A) knows how to cook proper meals, B) is willing to sell this service, and C) is able to obtain the materials they need for this without prohibitive expense.... and C), has tons of alternate accounts to let them flood the market. Trump and Poutine make a killing, which they use to buy themselves some magical armor, giving them both 30 more HP! The Wall, being not alive, is always asleep, so its awakening recharges a bit.
The Empty Chimeras mask may be damaged, but it will endure. It advances back through the rift,approaching the Toast Tree. lifting up the Dragging arm, it prepares to swing. The Mask of Hungry Visitation dives into the way, and then regrets it a split-second later. Somewhere in the bland smile of the Empty Chimera, it can tell... they were planning on this. The Slash whistles through the air, crimson finger-blades shimmering in the darkness, but the Mask manages to interpose its own scythe, stopping the blow. each blade apparently qualifies seperately, as its own little slice of eight damage... M. of H.VisitReacts in an instant[9 ] M. of H.Visit pushes back [32] M. of H.Visit redirects the blow [13] M. of H.Visit ducks under the claw[19] M. of H.Visit endures the graze [13] and none of them do damage. Reacting not in the slightest to this setback, the Empty Chimera reaches over to the nether portal, and rips out a block, causing it to shut, and darts away from the Mask, grinning blandly... not at it, but past it, with that same mask. Even though it's cracked, even as it splinters and breaks, it is still that same mask. And that same mask is immutable, and indestructible. the indestructible mask remains, shining defiantly white while giving away nothing into the void, endlessly pristine even though it is marred. it is marred, and yet it is, and was, and always would be, immutably perfect. There's a paradox there, but there's a resolution to it, too. Something which purges the strangeness, something that equalizes the seemingly opposed viewpoints. something which would explain it all, explain the brightness and the void, explain how it is white in blackness and emits no light, explains how it is indestructible even as it falls apart, explains it all. everything. But what? (and in the background the earth pelican gazes at it, wondering.) The Dripping arm gathers up, and that darkness tears into the Pigmen and the turrets, slaying the first and doing a strange sort of harm to the latter.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium. [A-naturewriter]Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) out of the battlefield! [OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 3/30 HP, In constant pain, a method of transport. 4A. out of the battlefield! [OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. ) 0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF. [ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 76 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake. Earth Pelican 66 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity) Rock Crabs 33 Rocks x6 awakened x2(13x2 integrity) [OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast]Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 0 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence! Toaster 30/30 HP. Toasting 4 Toast I Toasterboy 13 Rocks. Awakened (0/30 integrity), 1 Toast III Stone chicken 34+@% Rocks. fed. processing food IV. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity) Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks. somewhat jammed with poutine. manned by 7-rock gunner with 13 awaken!) Awakened(30/30 integrity) [OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity) Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity) [OG-TheGreatOne] Not-Aegislash 20/20 HP, -10 to incoming damage, 3/1d8: Assassinate. Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7 Inter-Dimensional Elephant 145/200 HP, 3 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene, . Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme! [AG-Shard II]Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er. [OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum! Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs but all have +2 fostered, +2 Warmed) [OG-SmartTJ]Pigmen DEAD [OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh. [OG-googiddybop]'Asmodeus' 30/30 HP, 8A [All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none. [OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder [C] Nether Portal DEAD HP, 11 resistance. Pumpkin Snails! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A [AG] Assorted Assassins, 12x2 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 7/1d8 : Assassinate. [AG]Trump 80/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake. The Wall 111/20 HP, Guard Trump...and Poutine!!!!!A Awakened (8/25 integrity) Poutine, 70+30 HP. +4 HP/turn. Is made of fries, cheese, and gravy. 3/4 What's Gravy even made of?. [WAAAAAAAAA]Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN! [AG]100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,102 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event! [All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Blemished. Draggingarm- Pristine. Claws- Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Rent porcelain- white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack. Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 42 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Light Wounds. pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian. OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.) Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles. ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.). SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated). Acerak the Eternal. <Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab! slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!> BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby! O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds. Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. In. A. Pumpkin. And has Demogoblin. and a Safe. full of stuff. and a spike-bush. The Great One: Minor Wounds. LyricsDusk:. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
I sneak across the outskirts, creeping towards the back of the church to eavesdrop on the "Bovemists". I silently continue my rituals and prayers to Joe, as well.
ENTITY ACTIONS: Darkness, please keep on striking the wall.
ACTION 1 (CHARGE): The bicyclic lifeform shivers, and snaps into a form reminiscent of a Cyclops, formed with a tyre for the head, and the limbs of the bicycle forming arms. Only, on the bottom, is an upside-down Cyclops, attached to the first one.
BICYCLOPS COMPLETE! STATS: 25/25 HP both sides, with damage split between both sides (essentially 50 HP). SPECIAL: Can attack twice.
ACTION 2: I toss a grenade from my hand. The grenade, instead of going normally, instead passes through a convenient rip in space to land at the foot of the 'Bovemist' Church, at which point it spontaneously explodes, taking out the church and 10 kilometres of its surroundings.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Action 1: As the "wizard" grows back to normal size, he seems to awaken. Not in a literal sense, of course, but metaphorically speaking, commonly defined by abnormally widened eyes, a gaping mouth, and occasional drool... Thinking about it, that sounds more brain dead than awake. Whatever. "Okay, it's the end of December. And we are STILL fighting Halloween. That's fa-la-la-la-terrible... No, lame. I meant lame. Or just stupid. Both. Definitely both. Well, sorry Jack, but it's CHRISTMASTIME!" The weirdo produces a Santa Hat and plops it on his head. He then promptly takes it off and reaches inside of it. After a few dramatic moments of his hand struggling to grab something, he pulls out a cardboard box. He puts his second action (you know, a projector, some speakers a few ornaments, some fake snow, a three dozen party invites, and a some robot parts. Normal stuff) into the box and tapes it shut. He then reaches back into the hat and pulls out some wrapping paper. He wraps the flaming Christmas tree designs around the box and slaps a half dozen stamps on where the tape should be. He then puts a big label on it that reads, "TO: THE EMPTY CHIMERA. FROM: ME!" He reaches into the Santa Hat again and pulls out a big sack. He stuffs the box in the sack and reaches into the hat one last time. He pulls out a simple fruitcake. Suddenly, a loud shout is heard from above. Eight horned streaks tied to a red block come barreling down. The "wizard" throws the bag and fruitcake up. The latter disappears in a puff of crumbs. The former lands softly in the box. The loud sound of a fat guy shouting the name of a garden implement calls from the red box. Demogoblin emerges from his pumpkin collecting party. "So, are you done with your Secret Santa nonsense?" "Let's see... I got my gift from LyricsDusk. I just sent mine to the Empty Chimera. I can only assume the Empty Chimera has been giving gifts to hungry_visitor. TheGreatOne115 is giving his CP to AcerakTheEternal. Yup. Everything is as it should be. How was your shopping trip?" "I got the greatest gift for my best friend. Pumpkins for me. So, life is good."
Action 2: Back in the battlefield, the red box propelled by horned streaks appears through a red and white striped portal. Out of the sack, the box drops. Its flaming Christmas Trees glow as they plummet, which cost the weirdo an extra fifty cents to get. Who knows why? He must have thought it would strike fear or something. A bit useless, but whatever. Back to the action, the box crashes into the ground, vaguely near the Empty Chimera. The cardboard ruptures as it digs a crater into the earth. From the crater emerges a flock of metal owls. Most hold various letters and fly off through snow white portals. However, a few remain and instead set up the projector and speakers. As the projector flickers on, one of the birds pokes the Empty Chimera. The Chimera turns and most likely crushes the bird. Then it sees the "wizard" on the screen. The speakers screech protest before the "wizard" talks. "Sorry, I couldn't be here in person, but it's Christmas time and I'm bored of Halloween. So, while I fight snails, I'll sing you a song." His videographic self slaps on a white beard, pulls on a red jacket, and sings, "Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh." This hopefully confuses the Chimera a bit. Or not. It might, at least.
He continues singing. "Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a turbo powered slay -er." Then the box explodes. A huge Christmas light with arms and legs at its base instead of... well, other lights, pops out of the box. It's bulb glows red with fury as its green arms reach to its sides and pull out two strings of Christmas lights. "Crashing through the snow." The bulb bot barrels forward through the bright bits of snow that bounced out in a big bump when the box went boom (10 B words. Success). The snow scatters into a cloud of white that slightly obscures normal vision. Of course, the Empty Chimera probably doesn't work on "normal vision", but its fun anyways. "With rockets on the way." Within the cloud, the robot stops. Its back panels fold out, revealing primary and secondary colored missiles. They burst out with green fire streaking behind them. Their glowing heads cut through the snow as they turn to face the Chimera. "Into the heads they go." Well, there's only the one head to aim at, but the point stands. The missiles come crashing into the Empty Chimera's mask, exploding with bright color and painting the mask (and I know this is crazy) not white. "Laughing all the way." The robot seems to attempt a laugh, but, because it lacks a mouth, fails spectacularly (it does give a jolly green glow though). Thankfully, other voices laugh their crooked, untrustworthy laughs. "Thieves and bombers sing." Emerging from their silver portals in the cloud of snow, various bandits holding candy cane knives and various ornament grenades growl something reminiscent of a song. "Setting the town alight." They let loose their ornaments, covering the Chimera's mask in porcelain shards and more paint. Then, the ones with candy canes move in and stab at the mask. After their blows land, they attempt to fade back into their portals. "Oh what fun it is to fight and sing a slaying song to night." The bulb bot emerges from the cloud. "Oh! Murder bells." The speakers burst with the sound of bells. "Murder bells." The robot claps its whips together, causing a plastic-y sort of ring. "Murder all the way." Finally, the robot attacks. Its whips lash out and grab the Empty Chimera's two legs. (In the film the "wizard" dons a mocking smile.) The bot flicks the whips back, causing the Chimera to resort to its hands to stay upright. It then runs forwards and shines bright, colorful light into the Chimera's mask. Electricity jolts off of the brilliant bulb, cutting colors into its surface. "Oh what fun it is to ride in a turbo powered slay -ER!" As the song ends, the bulb shrinks down into a single bulb and shatters from its inability to cope with the "long" sung turbo charge.
Action 3: "I hope the Chimera enjoys its present." "Enjoy isn't the word I'd use." "Well, you know, it's probably the type of thing that enjoys a challenge. It also isn't a furry green guy with a pet dog. It's got the green arm, sure, but there's only an eighty percent chance it dislikes Christmas. Probably ninety-five after this." "And you hope it enjoys your present?" "Yes." With that said and nothing better to do, the weirdo and Demogoblin attempt to enter the portal back to the battlefield, hoping against hope that there aren't any pumpkin land mines or pumpkin lasers or Assassin Snails (Fun fact: Assassin Snails exist. They hunt Trumpet Snails, which also exist. Hmm... what would an Assassin Snail Wiley Coyote V.S. Trumpet Snail Road Runner look like? Probably slower than the originals.)
ACTION 3: I explain to the Empty Chimera that as it's a Halloween event monster and Christmas has just passed, it's in the wrong time of year and therefore it should remove itself from the battlefield, go home and wear a Santa hat. This compelling line of reasoning is supplemented with a red-and-green coloured bayonet straight to the Cracked Mask of the Empty Chimera.
(Thank you O-R-I-G-I-N, for acknowledging my gift!)
Action 1: I distribute regular table salt in place of the healing salt for the pyramid scheme. Nobody will ever know.
Actions 2 & 3: I go along with what everyone else is doing and attempt to bring some Christmas spirit to the Empty Chimera. I do this by doing what I do best, throwing together random ingredients and hoping for the best. I throw some snow into a pot and add a wrapped present or two into the mix. I also cut down a nearby evergreen tree and throw the entire thing in. Finally, I add a magic hat, a glowing nose, and a heart two sizes larger than the Grinch’s heart into the mixture, and heat it until it all melts. I then force it down the Empty Chimera’s throat.
Orders: Elephant and Pyramid Pigmen, help distribute “healing” salt! Not-Aegislash, attack the Chimera!
Through the power of ownership I retrieve the Unique Factory out of my inventory and create stone salt out of stones for the pyramid scheme (they will be too stoned to notice the difference between the fake salts and the original product). Also I am accepting interns from all dimensions from now on so I send an inter(n)dimensional signal to call for the interns. Free labor, disposable minions, abused hope... that is how you create a cult. Rock gunner, clean the rock cannon. Toast boy, watch the toast. Overseer, oversee the entities, interns AND improve morale. Mask, defend the base against attackers. Entities (and interns) left collect rock.
I sneak across the outskirts, creeping towards the back of the church to eavesdrop on the "Bovemists". I silently continue my rituals and prayers to Joe, as well.
The "Bovemists" appear to be saying random hrms. however, you can tell different! It's one of the seven-thousand three-hundred and ninety-six special codes used by worshippers of Joe who want to hide their worship! ...you don't know which one, though, seeing as you're not one to hide it. You also see some graves are near the back of the church, and the plants around them look dead.
ENTITY ACTIONS: Darkness, please keep on striking the wall.
ACTION 1 (CHARGE): The bicyclic lifeform shivers, and snaps into a form reminiscent of a Cyclops, formed with a tyre for the head, and the limbs of the bicycle forming arms. Only, on the bottom, is an upside-down Cyclops, attached to the first one.
BICYCLOPS COMPLETE! STATS: 25/25 HP both sides, with damage split between both sides (essentially 50 HP). SPECIAL: Can attack twice.
ACTION 2: I toss a grenade from my hand. The grenade, instead of going normally, instead passes through a convenient rip in space to land at the foot of the 'Bovemist' Church, at which point it spontaneously explodes, taking out the church and 10 kilometres of its surroundings.
BiCyclops summoned! 25 + 25 HP, 17x2A. You throw the grenade! However, Hungry Visitor was in the area in the past and I'm pretty sure he tried to awaken the entire thing for kicks, so the explosion only harms the wall a little after depleting the Awakening.
Action 1: As the "wizard" grows back to normal size, he seems to awaken. Not in a literal sense, of course, but metaphorically speaking, commonly defined by abnormally widened eyes, a gaping mouth, and occasional drool... Thinking about it, that sounds more brain dead than awake. Whatever. "Okay, it's the end of December. And we are STILL fighting Halloween. That's fa-la-la-la-terrible... No, lame. I meant lame. Or just stupid. Both. Definitely both. Well, sorry Jack, but it's CHRISTMASTIME!" The weirdo produces a Santa Hat and plops it on his head. He then promptly takes it off and reaches inside of it. After a few dramatic moments of his hand struggling to grab something, he pulls out a cardboard box. He puts his second action (you know, a projector, some speakers a few ornaments, some fake snow, a three dozen party invites, and a some robot parts. Normal stuff) into the box and tapes it shut. He then reaches back into the hat and pulls out some wrapping paper. He wraps the flaming Christmas tree designs around the box and slaps a half dozen stamps on where the tape should be. He then puts a big label on it that reads, "TO: THE EMPTY CHIMERA. FROM: ME!" He reaches into the Santa Hat again and pulls out a big sack. He stuffs the box in the sack and reaches into the hat one last time. He pulls out a simple fruitcake. Suddenly, a loud shout is heard from above. Eight horned streaks tied to a red block come barreling down. The "wizard" throws the bag and fruitcake up. The latter disappears in a puff of crumbs. The former lands softly in the box. The loud sound of a fat guy shouting the name of a garden implement calls from the red box. Demogoblin emerges from his pumpkin collecting party. "So, are you done with your Secret Santa nonsense?" "Let's see... I got my gift from LyricsDusk. I just sent mine to the Empty Chimera. I can only assume the Empty Chimera has been giving gifts to hungry_visitor. TheGreatOne115 is giving his CP to AcerakTheEternal. Yup. Everything is as it should be. How was your shopping trip?" "I got the greatest gift for my best friend. Pumpkins for me. So, life is good."
Action 2: Back in the battlefield, the red box propelled by horned streaks appears through a red and white striped portal. Out of the sack, the box drops. Its flaming Christmas Trees glow as they plummet, which cost the weirdo an extra fifty cents to get. Who knows why? He must have thought it would strike fear or something. A bit useless, but whatever. Back to the action, the box crashes into the ground, vaguely near the Empty Chimera. The cardboard ruptures as it digs a crater into the earth. From the crater emerges a flock of metal owls. Most hold various letters and fly off through snow white portals. However, a few remain and instead set up the projector and speakers. As the projector flickers on, one of the birds pokes the Empty Chimera. The Chimera turns and most likely crushes the bird. Then it sees the "wizard" on the screen. The speakers screech protest before the "wizard" talks. "Sorry, I couldn't be here in person, but it's Christmas time and I'm bored of Halloween. So, while I fight snails, I'll sing you a song." His videographic self slaps on a white beard, pulls on a red jacket, and sings, "Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh." This hopefully confuses the Chimera a bit. Or not. It might, at least.
He continues singing. "Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a turbo powered slay -er." Then the box explodes. A huge Christmas light with arms and legs at its base instead of... well, other lights, pops out of the box. It's bulb glows red with fury as its green arms reach to its sides and pull out two strings of Christmas lights. "Crashing through the snow." The bulb bot barrels forward through the bright bits of snow that bounced out in a big bump when the box went boom (10 B words. Success). The snow scatters into a cloud of white that slightly obscures normal vision. Of course, the Empty Chimera probably doesn't work on "normal vision", but its fun anyways. "With rockets on the way." Within the cloud, the robot stops. Its back panels fold out, revealing primary and secondary colored missiles. They burst out with green fire streaking behind them. Their glowing heads cut through the snow as they turn to face the Chimera. "Into the heads they go." Well, there's only the one head to aim at, but the point stands. The missiles come crashing into the Empty Chimera's mask, exploding with bright color and painting the mask (and I know this is crazy) not white. "Laughing all the way." The robot seems to attempt a laugh, but, because it lacks a mouth, fails spectacularly (it does give a jolly green glow though). Thankfully, other voices laugh their crooked, untrustworthy laughs. "Thieves and bombers sing." Emerging from their silver portals in the cloud of snow, various bandits holding candy cane knives and various ornament grenades growl something reminiscent of a song. "Setting the town alight." They let loose their ornaments, covering the Chimera's mask in porcelain shards and more paint. Then, the ones with candy canes move in and stab at the mask. After their blows land, they attempt to fade back into their portals. "Oh what fun it is to fight and sing a slaying song to night." The bulb bot emerges from the cloud. "Oh! Murder bells." The speakers burst with the sound of bells. "Murder bells." The robot claps its whips together, causing a plastic-y sort of ring. "Murder all the way." Finally, the robot attacks. Its whips lash out and grab the Empty Chimera's two legs. (In the film the "wizard" dons a mocking smile.) The bot flicks the whips back, causing the Chimera to resort to its hands to stay upright. It then runs forwards and shines bright, colorful light into the Chimera's mask. Electricity jolts off of the brilliant bulb, cutting colors into its surface. "Oh what fun it is to ride in a turbo powered slay -ER!" As the song ends, the bulb shrinks down into a single bulb and shatters from its inability to cope with the "long" sung turbo charge.
Action 3: "I hope the Chimera enjoys its present." "Enjoy isn't the word I'd use." "Well, you know, it's probably the type of thing that enjoys a challenge. It also isn't a furry green guy with a pet dog. It's got the green arm, sure, but there's only an eighty percent chance it dislikes Christmas. Probably ninety-five after this." "And you hope it enjoys your present?" "Yes." With that said and nothing better to do, the weirdo and Demogoblin attempt to enter the portal back to the battlefield, hoping against hope that there aren't any pumpkin land mines or pumpkin lasers or Assassin Snails (Fun fact: Assassin Snails exist. They hunt Trumpet Snails, which also exist. Hmm... what would an Assassin Snail Wiley Coyote V.S. Trumpet Snail Road Runner look like? Probably slower than the originals.)
Entity Order: Demogoblin follows to the PORTAL.
The Chimera rips one of the missiles in twain with its Dragging arm, carving a bloody line through the bandits to slash through the whips and knock the bulb away... but one of the missiles still splattered paint all over it. Chimeras Mask recolored to 'Sullied porcelain-white' condition! You head through the portal back to the battlefield. Whether intentionally or by accident, you appear to have probably passed the trial.
ACTION 3: I explain to the Empty Chimera that as it's a Halloween event monster and Christmas has just passed, it's in the wrong time of year and therefore it should remove itself from the battlefield, go home and wear a Santa hat. This compelling line of reasoning is supplemented with a red-and-green coloured bayonet straight to the Cracked Mask of the Empty Chimera.
(Thank you O-R-I-G-I-N, for acknowledging my gift!)
The Empty Chimera ducks under the Bayonet, its shadowy arm coming up and passing through the bright colours, leaving the bayonet drained and empty of holiday influence. a flicker of cyan wafts out...
Action 1: I distribute regular table salt in place of the healing salt for the pyramid scheme. Nobody will ever know.
Actions 2 & 3: I go along with what everyone else is doing and attempt to bring some Christmas spirit to the Empty Chimera. I do this by doing what I do best, throwing together random ingredients and hoping for the best. I throw some snow into a pot and add a wrapped present or two into the mix. I also cut down a nearby evergreen tree and throw the entire thing in. Finally, I add a magic hat, a glowing nose, and a heart two sizes larger than the Grinch’s heart into the mixture, and heat it until it all melts. I then force it down the Empty Chimera’s throat.
Orders: Elephant and Pyramid Pigmen, help distribute “healing” salt! Not-Aegislash, attack the Chimera!
You do that! The Empty Chimera counters by claiming it doesn't have a throat, because it doesn't! Undeterred, you pour it down its face. Which is to say, its mask. The Heat causes the Masks structure to crack further, lowering it to Forlorn condition, bright traceries of light flying out of its cracks. It's nearly destroyed!
Through the power of ownership I retrieve the Unique Factory out of my inventory and create stone salt out of stones for the pyramid scheme (they will be too stoned to notice the difference between the fake salts and the original product). Also I am accepting interns from all dimensions from now on so I send an inter(n)dimensional signal to call for the interns. Free labor, disposable minions, abused hope... that is how you create a cult. Rock gunner, clean the rock cannon. Toast boy, watch the toast. Overseer, oversee the entities, interns AND improve morale. Mask, defend the base against attackers. Entities (and interns) left collect rock.
you make stone salt, increasing Pyramid Scheme importance! Then you start accepting large quantities of interns, which are thus summoned! the overseer is somewhat overworked as a result, but they'll do their best.
Steve accepts the surprisingly frantic apology from Acerak. Meanwhile, the squidship finishes dying. it is now dead. The Kittenish Pelican gathers more rocks! Fascinating. the Crabs get rockz (4+4+1+1+4+1 rocks). tree a tree, the toaster toasts, the toasterbody watch. The gunner clears a little. The interns do their best to gather rocks, each rolling a d3 with a DC of 2, getting 13 rocks. Not-Aegislash looks for opportunities to assassinate the Chimera (since it has no non-assassinate attacks). It does not find any at this time. The Pigmen and Elephant distribute ordinary salt. My goodness. what a scam. I can't beleaf this. The Pyramid Scheme reaches the level of importance sufficient that I have to figure out what it's actually going to do. I then figure out what it's going to do. The chicken continues to huddle near its eggs. It probably fell asleep a few turns ago now. 'Asmodeus' idles. The Darkness's blade slams into the wall, leaving deep marks along its surface for 20 damage. Something is shifting. The Power of the Pumpkin Snails resonates with the successful completion of their trial! by completing the trial in accordance with the principals of pumpkins, one of the fallen snails is revived! The Assorted Assassins loiter. Trump pays some hella dosh to all of those money-starved unemployable interns in this wide ol' world. Real Humanitarian, he is. Altruistic, too. The wall regenerates some Awakening. Poutine Pours Poutine on all the stone salt! It's ruined! Luckily, there's still regular table salt.
The Empty Chimera charges forwards, clawed arm ripping through Asmodeus, which instantly dies. Its slender arm whistles through the air next, before being knocked off-course by the Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast batting it aside. shimmering white rising from the many cracks in its Mask, the Chimera glares at it, and a spear of Darkness from the dripping arm stabs the M.oHVfEoT through... through a gap between its tentacles, that is, as the Mask rolls a perfect 40 on the avoidance roll. The Chimera still smiles, though, shining that same white it always has. It is for Always. And you are all not. So it says. Then, it turns to its next target... hm... The newly returned O_R_I_G_I_N_!
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium. [A-naturewriter]Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) out of the battlefield! [OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 0/30 HP, In constant pain, a method of transport. 4A. out of the battlefield! [OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. ) 0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF. [ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 81 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake. Earth Pelican 66 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity) Rock Crabs 33 Rocks x6 awakened x2(13x2 integrity) [OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast]Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 1 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence! Toaster 30/30 HP. Toasting 4 Toast II Toasterboy 13 Rocks. Awakened (0/30 integrity), 1 Toast III Stone chicken 29+#) Rocks. fed. processing food V. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity) Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks. fairly jammed with poutine. manned by 7-rock gunner with 13 awaken!) Awakened(30/30 integrity) Interns 1/1x30 HP, Interning!Ax30 (bribed) [OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity) Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity) [OG-TheGreatOne] Not-Aegislash 20/20 HP, -10 to incoming damage, 4/1d8: Assassinate. Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7 Inter-Dimensional Elephant 145/200 HP, 4 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene, . Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme! [AG-Shard II]Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er. [OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum! Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs but all have +2 fostered, +3 Warmed) [OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh. Bicyclops 25+25 HP, 17x2A [OG-googiddybop]'Asmodeus' 0/30 HP, 8A [OG-Origin] Demogoblin 70/70 HP, 3/3 20A bombs. [All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none. [OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder Pumpkin Snails! 15x7 HP Pumpkin!A [AG] Assorted Assassins, 11x2 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 8/1d8 : Assassinate. [AG]Trump 80/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake. The Wall 99/20 HP, Guard Trump...and Poutine!!!!!A Awakened (3/25 integrity) Poutine, 74+30 HP. +4 HP/turn. Is made of fries, cheese, and gravy. 4/4 What's Gravy even made of?. [WAAAAAAAAA]Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN! [AG]100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,102 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event! [All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Blemished. Draggingarm- Pristine. Claws- Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Forlorn, Sullied porcelain- white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack. Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 70 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Light Wounds. pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian. OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.) Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles. ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.). SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated). Acerak the Eternal. <Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab! slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!> BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby! O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds. Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. has a Safe. full of stuff. and a spike-bush. The Great One: Minor Wounds. LyricsDusk:. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
I grab a scroll of unholy faith, sign it with my own blood and then target the interns. One of them starts to speak: fRIs DeiN SteiN eSSn DeN ToT GibT uNs .... fRIs DeiN SteiN... Another one starts continues: In Ein. In Einem. In Einemhaus. In Einemhausdalebten. In.... Ein. In Einem.... One of them starts to hum and then stops, claps twice and then hums again, repeating the process over and over. Then the calibration is done. Their minds are completely removed. The replacement happens now. They speak in one voice, filled with happyness:
I am happy. I am working the stone. I am happy. Nothing else is needed. Let me work the stone. Thank you for letting me work here. I will tell all my friends how happy I am to work here. I am working the stone and that makes me happy.
This is the beginning of a cult ( scroll of unholy faith spreads calibration and replacement among them ).
I collect rocks
I create a wall-o-mancer out of rocks and let him talk with the wall of trump, persuading it to work for the greatest rock manufacturer that has ever lived: Hunger for eggs on toast.
Rock gunner, clean the rock cannon. Toast boy, watch the toast. Overseer, oversee the entities, interns AND improve morale. Mask, defend the base against attackers. Entities (and interns) left collect rock.
ENTITY ACTIONS: Bicyclops and Darkness, please strike the wall.
So the Empty Chimera's Mask is nearly gone, huh? Guess it's time to completely annihilate it.
ACTION 1: From my holster I draw a pistol, and pull its trigger. From the pistol barrel a piece of string is fired, and the string sticks in a Crack in the Mask. I grin confidently, and press the trigger again, and again, and again, until six strings are stuck to the Cracks in the Mask. Then I press a button, and the strings suddenly conduct a thousand volts of electricity into the Cracks in the Mask, completely shattering it.
ACTION 2: And if a thousand volts of electricity wasn't enough to destroy the Empty Chimera's Mask, I take out a sword. In a single second three slashes occur, striking the two remaining Legs of the Empty Chimera and its Mask.
Action 1: I hire the assassins to kill Trump. In return, I will let each of them join the pyramid scheme for free, as well as let them keep all of Trump’s dosh. I also give them my word that I’ll stop sending Not-Aegislash to assassinate them.
Actions 2 & 3: I mix together table salt, rock salt, salt from Prince Charming disintegrating, and some leftover “essence” of partridge to create a salt elemental.
Orders: Aegislash, help out the assassins if they decided to help, otherwise assassinate them! Salt elemental, create salt! (healing salt if possible, but any kind of salt will do) Elephant and Pyramid Pigmen, distribute salt!
Entity Orders (+ required RP): "... Really? That was the trial? Just a big pumpkin, a big pumpkin snail, and a lava pit? That's all? ... Well, I guess that's that! Now that I have been proven worthy, it's time to... be killed by a Chimera... Hmm... I should've stayed in the big snail. I would be burning, sure, but I would be happy." "I wouldn't be." "You're a demon. You're fireproof. Right?" "No. However, now, since your trial is over, I shall-" "No. Do you see that man behind the wall? The one that's a human, not the one that's a food." "No. He's behind a wall." "Well, he's got this lawyer by the name of... Jewel E-On-E. I have no idea what that means, but, if/when he shows up, we need you. Got it?" "And you want me to throw my bombs at Trump and his wall, correct?" "Yes. Definitely. I'm glad you understand." "Fine." Demogoblin waddles off on his little baby legs to go and bomb The Wall.
Action 1: "It seems the Empty Chimera did not enjoy my present. I guess now it is time to panic." The "wizard" takes a good minute to scream about how unfair this is, before he likely gets slapped by Hunger for Eggs on Toast, who has been the Chimera's main target for the past few turns. "Okay, sorry, it's my turn, fine. Fine. I passed the Trial of the Snails. I am now a legend probably. And, it's a new YEAR. Yes. 2020. You know what that means." Unfortunately, exactly no one knows what "that" means. Oblivious to this, he begins to summon up the powers of 2020. But, what could the powers of a brand new, untested year be? The power of creation? The power of reinvention? The power to get another Christmas this year (No new year equals no new Christmas after all.)? No. Instead, he summons a power that is completely unique to the year. He produces a pair of cheap party glasses that read 2020. He takes these and hands them to his local optometrist. The eye doctor examines them and looks through the lenses. He then studies a clipboard that reads some bozo's prescription and shakes his head. He pops the plastic lenses out and tapes in a glass pair. The doctor nods and hands them back to the "wizard". "Thank you Doug." The weirdo puts them on and laughs. "HAHAHA! Now, I possess this year's ultimate power. 20-20 VISION! HAHAHAHA!"
Action 2: With his new "perfect vision," the "wizard" charges at the Empty Chimera. As he sprints forward, he somehow sees the slightest indication of the Chimera's counter to his attack. Not that he really needed it, of course. The Chimera almost unfailingly swings its Dragging Arm at whatever attacks it. Regardless, he feints a running punch and leaps over the Empty Chimera, avoiding whatever nonsense the Chimera planned. As the weirdo soars overhead, he tosses a shiny disco ball into the air, launching it as high as his "wizard" muscles allow him. The weirdo lands awkwardly and rolls, ducking under the assumed slice from the Slender Arm. He leaps to his feet and spins like almost like a ballerina. With a swish of his invisible (nonexistent) cape, three party hats shoot at the Empty Chimera. This does little. At best, they are painted cardboard spikes, so the Chimera probably swipes them aside. However, the weirdo continues, undeterred, tossing forward two waves of streamers instead of party hats. However, as they speed through the air, they shift into vibrant snakes and cartoonishly drop to the ground, losing all forward momentum and instead slithering on toward the Chimera in an attempt to bite at its legs. As the Chimera easily deals with his new reptile friends, the weirdo counts the final number, "One." The shiny disco ball drops down on the Chimera's Mask, exploding in a bright display of fireworks on the Chimera that reads "DON'TKILLME!" As the words disappear, the "wizard" has a sour look on his face. "That was supposed to read '2020.' I mean, that works too, but it's too... cowardly. Yes. I'm definitely not that."
Action 3: The "wizard" stares at his scroll, almost mesmerized. "Well, I'm out of holiday attacks, but I have apparently failed to explore methods to terminate the Chimera. It seems that it has shadow tendrils that 'drip'. I dunno how that works, maybe some Peter Pan logic or something, but, if I can make it less 'drippy', it should do... something? At least make it less cosmetically terrifying." So, the weirdo takes the simplest course of action. He pulls out a pair of tennis shoes and throws them on the ground. He mutters something about "Pride of Athlete, Source of Strength, Bane of Existence," and the shoes begin to jog. The "wizard" groans and runs to catch up with the shoes and, miraculously, passes them. Panting for breath, the weirdo runs with the shoes on a path that would run straight into the Chimera. He rolls his eyes and readies his shoulder to tackle the Chimera. The Chimera decides to strike then, ready to use a fun, midturn action to killerize the weirdo.
However, as it makes its initial counter and strikes the weirdo, the "wizard" is suddenly replaced with a punching bag. As its claws shred through the heavy bag, the "wizard" pops his head out from behind the Chimera. "Sorry. I figured you'd want to run to get used to being down a leg. But, if you wanted to box, be my guest." Suddenly, the Chimera is swarmed by various sized and weighted punching bags. They sway around in harmless arcs, only blocking the Chimera from reaching the weirdo. Inevitably, the Chimera tears through these punching bags. As it emerges from the storm, it finds itself in a large blue void filled with sports equipment floating aimlessly about. It stands upon a simple running track with the weirdo and shoes jogging ahead of it. The weirdo yells back, "Welcome to ATHLETICON! The Fortress of Fitness. The Sanctum of Strong. The Realm of Ripped. And you just ran it out of punching bags. Congratulations!" The Chimera growls, but initially just waits. It figures it would be easier for them to just come back around. But, as it waits, it hears the faint sound of gravel rushing down a hill behind it. It turns and see that the track is falling into an empty void below. Grudgingly, the Chimera decides to run on, figuring it best to kill either the "wizard" or the shoes depending on which one it gets its hands on first. And so the world seems to devolve to the weirdo from an annoying necessity of physical health to a mad dash to stay alive. The "wizard", shoes, and Chimera run around the circle for at least an ATHLETICON Hour (not much different for people in the Realm of Ripped, but outside its about a minute. ATHLETICON's motto is "Getting fit is an hour away" after all). Finally, exhausted, they all stop in a floating locker room. The Chimera attempts to attack the weirdo, again, but the weirdo throws a towel at it. "You're dripping Shadow all over. Clean yourself off." The slightest bit exhausted from its run, it starts to dry off just a bit, making its Shadowy Tendrils drip just a bit less. It then quickly realizes what its doing, and rips the towel to shreds. "Nice doing business with you." The shoes drop limp and the world dissolves. The "wizard" tosses his 2020 glasses off, figuring the enchantment was out of juice after over an hour's use. "Now, be my guest. My face is fair game."
I grab a scroll of unholy faith, sign it with my own blood and then target the interns. One of them starts to speak: fRIs DeiN SteiN eSSn DeN ToT GibT uNs .... fRIs DeiN SteiN... Another one starts continues: In Ein. In Einem. In Einemhaus. In Einemhausdalebten. In.... Ein. In Einem.... One of them starts to hum and then stops, claps twice and then hums again, repeating the process over and over. Then the calibration is done. Their minds are completely removed. The replacement happens now. They speak in one voice, filled with happyness:
I am happy. I am working the stone. I am happy. Nothing else is needed. Let me work the stone. Thank you for letting me work here. I will tell all my friends how happy I am to work here. I am working the stone and that makes me happy.
This is the beginning of a cult ( scroll of unholy faith spreads calibration and replacement among them ).
I collect rocks
I create a wall-o-mancer out of rocks and let him talk with the wall of trump, persuading it to work for the greatest rock manufacturer that has ever lived: Hunger for eggs on toast.
Rock gunner, clean the rock cannon. Toast boy, watch the toast. Overseer, oversee the entities, interns AND improve morale. Mask, defend the base against attackers. Entities (and interns) left collect rock.
You do a magic on the interns. but wait. you made them Cyan. the Godmodder is Cyan. hm.. You collect 5d5=2+2+2+2+1=9 Rocks! Trumps wall is a wall. It is unconvinced. orders given.
ENTITY ACTIONS: Bicyclops and Darkness, please strike the wall.
So the Empty Chimera's Mask is nearly gone, huh? Guess it's time to completely annihilate it.
ACTION 1: From my holster I draw a pistol, and pull its trigger. From the pistol barrel a piece of string is fired, and the string sticks in a Crack in the Mask. I grin confidently, and press the trigger again, and again, and again, until six strings are stuck to the Cracks in the Mask. Then I press a button, and the strings suddenly conduct a thousand volts of electricity into the Cracks in the Mask, completely shattering it.
ACTION 2: And if a thousand volts of electricity wasn't enough to destroy the Empty Chimera's Mask, I take out a sword. In a single second three slashes occur, striking the two remaining Legs of the Empty Chimera and its Mask.
Orders given. Reacting quickly to your pistol, the Chimera's shadowy arm comes up and breaks each string, blocking the electricity in its dubious structure. The Chimera darts back as you draw your sword,quick steps getting it out of range, and smiles at you... but there's a hint of wariness to it.
Action 1: I hire the assassins to kill Trump. In return, I will let each of them join the pyramid scheme for free, as well as let them keep all of Trump’s dosh. I also give them my word that I’ll stop sending Not-Aegislash to assassinate them.
Actions 2 & 3: I mix together table salt, rock salt, salt from Prince Charming disintegrating, and some leftover “essence” of partridge to create a salt elemental.
Orders: Aegislash, help out the assassins if they decided to help, otherwise assassinate them! Salt elemental, create salt! (healing salt if possible, but any kind of salt will do) Elephant and Pyramid Pigmen, distribute salt!
The Assassins would love to, but they're currently dying of deadly poison and the Godmodder is offering them the antidote, hence their lives, which are worth more to them then the dosh you are able to offer. You summon a Salt Elemental! 20 HP, 4 regen, and its health qualifies as salt! It can't make it healing salt, though. It's just a salt elemental, not some kind of magic... well, it is magic, but it's not a wizard or anything. Orders given!
ACTION 3: I tell them to destroy Godmodder and everyone else.
I win. :)
you summon demogorgon. It suddenly turns into a gorgon skilled with demolition, like the demogoblin. It blows itself up by accident, because it's not That skilled at demolition. Then you summon Great Cthulhu. Great is a term for the honours course for philosophy and such in oxford. Great Cthulhu is a philosopher. They believe as long as someone is remembered, they exist. In order to destroy the Godmodder and everyone else, they decide they must forget the Godmodder (and everyone else) exists. So they wipe their memory. Now, the thing is, everyone else either includes you, or it includes them, but your phrasing doesn't suggest both. So, they either forget they exist,and die, or they forget you exist, and go off and do their own thing, alone in the universe. ((Both of these summons qualify as instant summons, and would normally be brainwashed by the Godmodder, but the Godmodder isn't present, so they just failed. Also, if you want to summon a version of Cthulhu which works like cthulhu, you need more then one action; this Cthulhu is fine for godmodder attacks (if he were targetable), but it would have a paltry 10 HP and 2 attack- not nearly enough to kill anyone, let alone everyone.))
Entity Orders (+ required RP): "... Really? That was the trial? Just a big pumpkin, a big pumpkin snail, and a lava pit? That's all? ... Well, I guess that's that! Now that I have been proven worthy, it's time to... be killed by a Chimera... Hmm... I should've stayed in the big snail. I would be burning, sure, but I would be happy." "I wouldn't be." "You're a demon. You're fireproof. Right?" "No. However, now, since your trial is over, I shall-" "No. Do you see that man behind the wall? The one that's a human, not the one that's a food." "No. He's behind a wall." "Well, he's got this lawyer by the name of... Jewel E-On-E. I have no idea what that means, but, if/when he shows up, we need you. Got it?" "And you want me to throw my bombs at Trump and his wall, correct?" "Yes. Definitely. I'm glad you understand." "Fine." Demogoblin waddles off on his little baby legs to go and bomb The Wall.
Action 1: "It seems the Empty Chimera did not enjoy my present. I guess now it is time to panic." The "wizard" takes a good minute to scream about how unfair this is, before he likely gets slapped by Hunger for Eggs on Toast, who has been the Chimera's main target for the past few turns. "Okay, sorry, it's my turn, fine. Fine. I passed the Trial of the Snails. I am now a legend probably. And, it's a new YEAR. Yes. 2020. You know what that means." Unfortunately, exactly no one knows what "that" means. Oblivious to this, he begins to summon up the powers of 2020. But, what could the powers of a brand new, untested year be? The power of creation? The power of reinvention? The power to get another Christmas this year (No new year equals no new Christmas after all.)? No. Instead, he summons a power that is completely unique to the year. He produces a pair of cheap party glasses that read 2020. He takes these and hands them to his local optometrist. The eye doctor examines them and looks through the lenses. He then studies a clipboard that reads some bozo's prescription and shakes his head. He pops the plastic lenses out and tapes in a glass pair. The doctor nods and hands them back to the "wizard". "Thank you Doug." The weirdo puts them on and laughs. "HAHAHA! Now, I possess this year's ultimate power. 20-20 VISION! HAHAHAHA!"
Action 2: With his new "perfect vision," the "wizard" charges at the Empty Chimera. As he sprints forward, he somehow sees the slightest indication of the Chimera's counter to his attack. Not that he really needed it, of course. The Chimera almost unfailingly swings its Dragging Arm at whatever attacks it. Regardless, he feints a running punch and leaps over the Empty Chimera, avoiding whatever nonsense the Chimera planned. As the weirdo soars overhead, he tosses a shiny disco ball into the air, launching it as high as his "wizard" muscles allow him. The weirdo lands awkwardly and rolls, ducking under the assumed slice from the Slender Arm. He leaps to his feet and spins like almost like a ballerina. With a swish of his invisible (nonexistent) cape, three party hats shoot at the Empty Chimera. This does little. At best, they are painted cardboard spikes, so the Chimera probably swipes them aside. However, the weirdo continues, undeterred, tossing forward two waves of streamers instead of party hats. However, as they speed through the air, they shift into vibrant snakes and cartoonishly drop to the ground, losing all forward momentum and instead slithering on toward the Chimera in an attempt to bite at its legs. As the Chimera easily deals with his new reptile friends, the weirdo counts the final number, "One." The shiny disco ball drops down on the Chimera's Mask, exploding in a bright display of fireworks on the Chimera that reads "DON'TKILLME!" As the words disappear, the "wizard" has a sour look on his face. "That was supposed to read '2020.' I mean, that works too, but it's too... cowardly. Yes. I'm definitely not that."
Action 3: The "wizard" stares at his scroll, almost mesmerized. "Well, I'm out of holiday attacks, but I have apparently failed to explore methods to terminate the Chimera. It seems that it has shadow tendrils that 'drip'. I dunno how that works, maybe some Peter Pan logic or something, but, if I can make it less 'drippy', it should do... something? At least make it less cosmetically terrifying." So, the weirdo takes the simplest course of action. He pulls out a pair of tennis shoes and throws them on the ground. He mutters something about "Pride of Athlete, Source of Strength, Bane of Existence," and the shoes begin to jog. The "wizard" groans and runs to catch up with the shoes and, miraculously, passes them. Panting for breath, the weirdo runs with the shoes on a path that would run straight into the Chimera. He rolls his eyes and readies his shoulder to tackle the Chimera. The Chimera decides to strike then, ready to use a fun, midturn action to killerize the weirdo.
However, as it makes its initial counter and strikes the weirdo, the "wizard" is suddenly replaced with a punching bag. As its claws shred through the heavy bag, the "wizard" pops his head out from behind the Chimera. "Sorry. I figured you'd want to run to get used to being down a leg. But, if you wanted to box, be my guest." Suddenly, the Chimera is swarmed by various sized and weighted punching bags. They sway around in harmless arcs, only blocking the Chimera from reaching the weirdo. Inevitably, the Chimera tears through these punching bags. As it emerges from the storm, it finds itself in a large blue void filled with sports equipment floating aimlessly about. It stands upon a simple running track with the weirdo and shoes jogging ahead of it. The weirdo yells back, "Welcome to ATHLETICON! The Fortress of Fitness. The Sanctum of Strong. The Realm of Ripped. And you just ran it out of punching bags. Congratulations!" The Chimera growls, but initially just waits. It figures it would be easier for them to just come back around. But, as it waits, it hears the faint sound of gravel rushing down a hill behind it. It turns and see that the track is falling into an empty void below. Grudgingly, the Chimera decides to run on, figuring it best to kill either the "wizard" or the shoes depending on which one it gets its hands on first. And so the world seems to devolve to the weirdo from an annoying necessity of physical health to a mad dash to stay alive. The "wizard", shoes, and Chimera run around the circle for at least an ATHLETICON Hour (not much different for people in the Realm of Ripped, but outside its about a minute. ATHLETICON's motto is "Getting fit is an hour away" after all). Finally, exhausted, they all stop in a floating locker room. The Chimera attempts to attack the weirdo, again, but the weirdo throws a towel at it. "You're dripping Shadow all over. Clean yourself off." The slightest bit exhausted from its run, it starts to dry off just a bit, making its Shadowy Tendrils drip just a bit less. It then quickly realizes what its doing, and rips the towel to shreds. "Nice doing business with you." The shoes drop limp and the world dissolves. The "wizard" tosses his 2020 glasses off, figuring the enchantment was out of juice after over an hour's use. "Now, be my guest. My face is fair game."
You gain the power of 20-20 vision! (20-20 vision actually just means "about as good as the eye people expect", not perfect)" Using that power, you avoid the Empty Chimera's counter (which, as it turns out, was a swipe from the slender arm, followed by repeated attempts to grab your face and throw you into a wall, not a use of the Dragging arm after all.) and leave the Disco Ball to explode on the Empty Chimera's Mask, which Shatters from the explosion, something fundamentally broken. Before the pieces can fall too far, the white fire between the cracks seems to... solidify, holding them together, but it's a clearly temporary affair, only until the end of turn battle... why? Mask Destroyed! The empty chimera will not be able to use the mask in the future! The Chimera evidently completely failed its planning earlier, or it would only maybe work, but whatever, it chases you through Athleticon. And completely forgets your actions goal just in time for you to trick it into drying off its Shadowy Tendril, which is reduced to Oozing condition!
EoTB
Steve idles because Acerak didn't post. the Mask defends. Cleaning progresses slowly, but it does progress. The Crabs gather rocks-20 of them- and the interns gather 10 rocks. the pelicans also get 5 rocks each. The Stone Chicken lays another stone egg. Not-Aegislash looks for a chance. there isn't one at the moment, but... The pigmen, elephant, and elemental distribute their healing salt all over! the elemental Is. the Bicyclops attacks the wall, doing 31 damage past the awakening! the Chicken keeps huddling. the Demogoblin bombs the Wall, doing 20 damage! The Darkness given Form continues to attack the Wall, doing 20 more damage! The Darkness given Soul floats over to the Interns. and then floats away. The Pumpkin Snails finish putting together their next trial(there are, after all, 3- one per dead snail)... but... There's nobody to try! sort of! they decide to wait and see... One of the Assassins sees an opportunity, and Assassinates the rock overseer! which is great for me because it turns out I never added them to the listing! Trump invests in the pyramid scheme! Importance goes up, but odds of it being hijacked by the Godmodder also go up! Poutine uses What's Gravy even made of?. Gravy is made of many things, and may or may not include meat. Wait, Meat. people are made of Meat! Poutine is made of Gravy, which is probably made of Meat! so, Poutine is made of meat, so Poutine is made of people! Therefore, Poutine is a person! I'm pretty sure there aren't any flaws in my logic and anyway I'm right. Poutine becomes a person (again?). A person made of Poutine, but you can't win every battle.
Finally, the Flames on the Empty Chimera's Mask lose cohesion, and the pieces of it clatter to the ground. Implausible durability now lost, some of the pieces break themselves. But they're all still White, eternally white. The white is beyond physical reality, as though one took the line from grey to white and hiked in the same direction for an entire month, and made a material out of whatever they ended up with. And it just looks like pure white, because that's what it is, in a way. an extrapolation of everything it means for something to be white. It's no different from the white of snow, or ordinary porcelain, and yet it's Entirely different, in some ineffable way. the Wizard looks at it, fascinated. The white flame is still burning in the edges of each shard of the Mask, burning Through the now-mundane material. And the white fire still burns, just the same, on the Chimera's face. There's something else they should be paying attention to, but it doesn't matter. The mask... They know it could last to the end of reality, it could go on without end and keep shining that jealous white without any light. It ought have easily endured this battle. but they also know the Mask is broken. durable, surely, for a mask. But it was broken into shards, first cracked by an onslaught and then finally shattered (by them). It has fallen apart and lost what it was. And yet they know the Mask is indestructible, and eternal, and unchanging. and yet it clearly is not. And yet this is no paradox. Why?
That question resounds in their mind, and then goes quiet. The white of the flames flares again, sputtering its way over the noncombustible material of Ceramic. The flames don't make sense either. they're not eternal, but ethereal, true. and so their Ends make sense. But how is the Flame? it hoards its light to survive an instant longer, or so it was thought. but how is that possible? That isn't how fire works. Flames, masks... those things aren't sentient. They don't have emotions, do they? That concept shouldn't apply. And yet they Know the Fire does this. They can see the ground beneath the fires, unchanged despite its brightness. and they can see how the view of the fire is white, a removal of all details, even though they know it's a purification of that which they should see through it. A purification, and yet it seems a corruption, but they know it is not. How? And they realise. But then, that is what they do. Nobody else knows what they realised, save perhaps the Chimera. There is a discontinuity there, in the realisation, and so the narration will not continue. But what they should have been paying attention to, what they once would have payed attention to, is that the Slender hand on its slender arm had been placed upon their torso, and the Dragging arm was laboriously lifted up and placed around their waist(so as to ensure movement would cause injury), and the Shadow arm, though only oozing now, had melted itself over much of their body. And then the white fire leapt up from the porcelain-shards, and wreathed the remainder of their body in itself, and a time passes. And then the Chimera draws away, leaving behind the weirdo- or, O_R_I_G_I_N_- with a gaping hole in the middle of their torso, and a body formed of white and black as pure as the mask was. They may choose whether they continue being that body(albeit with some limits on actions), or they can respawn and consider that Thing dead.
The Chimera's Actions are now over. However, there's a few more things to make note of. First of all, the White question marks at the end of its statline have been removed. Second of all, the status 'Fascination with Beyond' has been removed. And thirdly, with the Mask no longer covering its head, it is possible to see what its face looks like. A twisted, halfway ogre-ish, face was revealed. spiked teeth and narrow tusks... but the face is the same smooth grey as the torso and the Slender Arm. additionally, above the nose height, there's... nothing. An empty hole, an absence, which almost seems to scream out. It has no eyes, and has no ears, and no place to put a brain. but it keeps moving anyway. Oh, and it's still smiling. the Chimera's face is not an attack target, though, and appears to be entirely nonvital.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium. [A-naturewriter]Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) out of the battlefield! [OG-Moose/Acerak]Squidship of the Meese. 0/30 HP, In constant pain, a method of transport. 4A. out of the battlefield! [OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. ) 0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF. [ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 86 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake. Earth Pelican 71 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity) Rock Crabs 33 Rocks x6 awakened x4(13x4 integrity) [OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast]Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 1 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence! Toaster 30/30 HP. Toasting 4 Toast III Toasterboy 13 Rocks. Awakened (0/30 integrity), 1 Toast III and 1 stone egg Stone chicken 22+#& Rocks. fed. processing food 0. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity) Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks. sorta jammed with poutine. manned by 7-rock gunner with 13 awaken!) Awakened(30/30 integrity) Interns 1/1x30 HP, Interning!Ax30 (bribed, Cyan, mindless.) [OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity) Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity) [OG-TheGreatOne] Not-Aegislash 20/20 HP, -10 to incoming damage, 5/1d8: Assassinate. Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7 Inter-Dimensional Elephant 150/200 HP, 5 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene, . Salt Elemental 24 HP, +4/R, HP is Salt. Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme! [AG-Shard II]Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er. [OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum! Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs but all have +2 fostered, +3 Warmed, and +1 Nurtured) [OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh. Bicyclops 25+25 HP, 17x2A [OG-Origin] Demogoblin 70/70 HP, 2/3 20A bombs. [All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none. [OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder Pumpkin Snails! 15x7 HP Pumpkin!A [AG] Assorted Assassins, 10x2 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 9/1d8 : Assassinate. [AG]Trump 80/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake. The Wall 38/20 HP, Guard Trump...and Poutine!!!!!A Awakened (3/25 integrity) Poutine, 78+30 HP. +4 HP/turn. Is made of fries, cheese, and a person. [WAAAAAAAAA]WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN! [AG]100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,102 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event! [All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Blemished. Draggingarm- Pristine. Claws- Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Oozing. Legs- Duo. ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack. Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 109 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Light Wounds. pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian. OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.) Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles. ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.). SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated). Acerak the Eternal. <Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab! slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!> BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby! O_R_I_G_I_N: Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. has a Safe. full of stuff. and a spike-bush. The Great One: Minor Wounds. LyricsDusk:. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
Action 1: I hold the stone of dusk up to the animated golden swords. Assuming this doesn’t go horribly wrong due to the stone being off, the swords start to glow and change shape. When this stops, the two swords have changed into a larger sword and a shield, which is definitely not a ripoff of Aegislash.
Actions 2 & 3: I continue the ritual to Joe.
Joe: 21/50
Orders: Not Aegislash, keep waiting for opportunities to assassinate assassins! Elephant and Pyramid Pigmen, look for people to join the pyramid scheme!
(Same here, O_R_I_G_I_N_, I ran out of creative juices a while ago.)
Orders given.
You upgrade the overseer. they will now try to improve the morale of these rocks.
you create a two-way portal! However, you can't get your hand through it- it looks like it's impossible to go back into The Update Room!
You also receive a notification from later in the round. Your Pyramid Scheme has run out of healing salt! they need a new source, and soon! they can hold off on actually delivering until morning, but...
Joe informs you that they're all disguised as bovemists, so they'll probably be wearing cow masks. Just then, the Squidship touches down outside of the town. near the outskirts is a small church with the label "bovemist church" nailed over a worn sign.
It looks a little something like this: <IMAGE TO COME>
Hi, It's me from like four years later as I swap image hosting from discord to google manually. the image never comes.
Steve just realizes you don't even know his name! It's Steve! Gary re-died already! he's incredibly put out at the discovery of your lack of attention.
Darkness accedes your request...
The Chimera jerks its arm aside, dodging the knife! you continue the Bicyclops charge.
The Godmodder... isn't here... so. Let's say you targetted the Chimera instead! The first missile gets swatted, and the second one sinks into a wall of shadows and expires, but the third crashes into the Mask, lowering it to Rent condition as it widens the existing cracks! white light is shimmering out of them...
Demogoblin ordered!
You try to get the snail to turn towards the portal! whether or not this has worked isn't very clear, since snails are slow.
(yeah... I can see that. That said, you've already been quite impressively consistent with regards to interesting/amusing/creative flavour-text, so... I forget the point I was making. I bet it was a good one, though!)
(construct imitating) asmodeus summoned!
You start a new charge!
The sword is covered in curved spikes, and the shield has two eyes engraved in it that are constantly crying caustic green blood, along with an alloy of metals representing a mouth with too many teeth via different shades, but the base structure appears to have been properly created. this is definitely not an Aegislash. very not.
method of transport. 4A. out of the battlefield!
0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF.
.
Pumpkin Snails! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A
pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . 
Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. In. A. Pumpkin. And has Demogoblin. and a Safe. full of stuff. and a spike-bush.
...Though something did go wrong with the summon, it doesn't seem to have any relation to the Empty Chimera; no mind-bending colors or ethereal simplicity, and it worked out well enough. Not-Aegislash summoned!
Ritual continues!
EoRR
Steve is feeling a bit put out at learning their master doesn't even know their name. this might have affected their healing efficiancy, but the Squidship survives the round regardless.
The Mask of Hungry Visitation watches out for attacks in preperation of defending HV's stuff.
The pelicans collect rocks... the earth pelican seems thoughtful.
crabs collect rocks. 5+3+5+5+3+3 rocks, or, 24 rocks.
Toast stuff... continues. the Toasterboy pulls out the toast and puts in new toast to toast. The gunner is unable to fix the launcher, but they do clear away some of the Poutine.
Not-Aegislash keeps looking for opportunities to slay those fool assassins... The Pyramid Pigmen and Elephant work on the pyramid scheme! However, there is a problem: They've run out of salt to sell! They need more healing salt!
...The Darkness Given Form assaults the wall! It... doesn't really have any vital points, but it gets attacked anyway, taking 20 damage(to the awakening bar.)!
The Pumpkin Snails keep watch on their infinite pumpkin patch. is the giant snail... off balance? it seems to be listing to the side... The Demogoblin gets some pumpkins!
The Assassins... loiter! yeah!
Trump gets onto the national worldwide super stock auction trade exchange house market and, with poutine's help and a lot of cheap anonymous relays, floods the market with high-quality poutine! As it turns out, nobody else in the world both A) knows how to cook proper meals, B) is willing to sell this service, and C) is able to obtain the materials they need for this without prohibitive expense.... and C), has tons of alternate accounts to let them flood the market. Trump and Poutine make a killing, which they use to buy themselves some magical armor, giving them both 30 more HP! The Wall, being not alive, is always asleep, so its awakening recharges a bit.
The Empty Chimeras mask may be damaged, but it will endure. It advances back through the rift,approaching the Toast Tree. lifting up the Dragging arm, it prepares to swing. The Mask of Hungry Visitation dives into the way, and then regrets it a split-second later. Somewhere in the bland smile of the Empty Chimera, it can tell... they were planning on this. The Slash whistles through the air, crimson finger-blades shimmering in the darkness, but the Mask manages to interpose its own scythe, stopping the blow. each blade apparently qualifies seperately, as its own little slice of eight damage...
M. of H.Visit Reacts in an instant[9 ]
M. of H.Visit pushes back [32]
M. of H.Visit redirects the blow [13]
M. of H.Visit ducks under the claw[19]
M. of H.Visit endures the graze [13]
and none of them do damage. Reacting not in the slightest to this setback, the Empty Chimera reaches over to the nether portal, and rips out a block, causing it to shut, and darts away from the Mask, grinning blandly... not at it, but past it, with that same mask. Even though it's cracked, even as it splinters and breaks, it is still that same mask. And that same mask is immutable, and indestructible. the indestructible mask remains, shining defiantly white while giving away nothing into the void, endlessly pristine even though it is marred. it is marred, and yet it is, and was, and always would be, immutably perfect. There's a paradox there, but there's a resolution to it, too. Something which purges the strangeness, something that equalizes the seemingly opposed viewpoints. something which would explain it all, explain the brightness and the void, explain how it is white in blackness and emits no light, explains how it is indestructible even as it falls apart, explains it all. everything. But what? (and in the background the earth pelican gazes at it, wondering.)
The Dripping arm gathers up, and that darkness tears into the Pigmen and the turrets, slaying the first and doing a strange sort of harm to the latter.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium.
[A-naturewriter] Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) out of the battlefield!
[OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 3/30 HP, In constant pain, a
[OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. )
[ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 76 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake.
Earth Pelican 66 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity)
Rock Crabs 33 Rocks x6 awakened x2(13x2 integrity)
[OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 0 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence!
Toaster 30/30 HP. Toasting 4 Toast I
Toasterboy 13 Rocks. Awakened (0/30 integrity), 1 Toast III
Stone chicken 34+@% Rocks. fed. processing food IV. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity)
Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks. somewhat jammed with poutine. manned by 7-rock gunner with 13 awaken!) Awakened(30/30 integrity)
[OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity)
Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity)
[OG-TheGreatOne] Not-Aegislash 20/20 HP, -10 to incoming damage, 3/1d8: Assassinate.
Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7
Inter-Dimensional Elephant 145/200 HP, 3 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene,
Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme!
[AG-Shard II] Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er.
[OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum!
Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs but all have +2 fostered, +2 Warmed)
[OG-SmartTJ] Pigmen DEAD
[OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh.
[OG-googiddybop] 'Asmodeus' 30/30 HP, 8A
[All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none.
[OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder
[C] Nether Portal DEAD HP, 11 resistance.
[AG] Assorted Assassins, 12x2 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 7/1d8 : Assassinate.
[AG] Trump 80/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake.
The Wall 111/20 HP, Guard Trump...and Poutine!!!!!A Awakened (8/25 integrity)
Poutine, 70+30 HP. +4 HP/turn. Is made of fries, cheese, and gravy. 3/4 What's Gravy even made of?.
[WAAAAAAAAA] Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN!
[AG] 100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,102 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event!
[All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Blemished. Dragging arm- Pristine. Claws-
Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Rent porcelain-
white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack.
Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique 'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 42 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Light Wounds.
Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian.
OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.)
Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles.
ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.).
SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated).
Acerak the Eternal.
<Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab!
slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!>BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby!
O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds.
The Great One: Minor Wounds.
LyricsDusk:. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
"Hmm.... How shall I deal with this?"
I sneak across the outskirts, creeping towards the back of the church to eavesdrop on the "Bovemists". I silently continue my rituals and prayers to Joe, as well.
Joe: 23/50
*Steve* orders: please bro I'm sorry bro please I'm sorry bro
Walton Gibson - Human Cleric, Level 1
ENTITY ACTIONS: Darkness, please keep on striking the wall.
ACTION 1 (CHARGE): The bicyclic lifeform shivers, and snaps into a form reminiscent of a Cyclops, formed with a tyre for the head, and the limbs of the bicycle forming arms. Only, on the bottom, is an upside-down Cyclops, attached to the first one.
BICYCLOPS COMPLETE! STATS: 25/25 HP both sides, with damage split between both sides (essentially 50 HP). SPECIAL: Can attack twice.
ACTION 2: I toss a grenade from my hand. The grenade, instead of going normally, instead passes through a convenient rip in space to land at the foot of the 'Bovemist' Church, at which point it spontaneously explodes, taking out the church and 10 kilometres of its surroundings.
I cast Friends on the godmodder
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Action 1: As the "wizard" grows back to normal size, he seems to awaken. Not in a literal sense, of course, but metaphorically speaking, commonly defined by abnormally widened eyes, a gaping mouth, and occasional drool... Thinking about it, that sounds more brain dead than awake. Whatever. "Okay, it's the end of December. And we are STILL fighting Halloween. That's fa-la-la-la-terrible... No, lame. I meant lame. Or just stupid. Both. Definitely both. Well, sorry Jack, but it's CHRISTMAS TIME!" The weirdo produces a Santa Hat and plops it on his head. He then promptly takes it off and reaches inside of it. After a few dramatic moments of his hand struggling to grab something, he pulls out a cardboard box. He puts his second action (you know, a projector, some speakers a few ornaments, some fake snow, a three dozen party invites, and a some robot parts. Normal stuff) into the box and tapes it shut. He then reaches back into the hat and pulls out some wrapping paper. He wraps the flaming Christmas tree designs around the box and slaps a half dozen stamps on where the tape should be. He then puts a big label on it that reads, "TO: THE EMPTY CHIMERA. FROM: ME!" He reaches into the Santa Hat again and pulls out a big sack. He stuffs the box in the sack and reaches into the hat one last time. He pulls out a simple fruitcake. Suddenly, a loud shout is heard from above. Eight horned streaks tied to a red block come barreling down. The "wizard" throws the bag and fruitcake up. The latter disappears in a puff of crumbs. The former lands softly in the box. The loud sound of a fat guy shouting the name of a garden implement calls from the red box. Demogoblin emerges from his pumpkin collecting party. "So, are you done with your Secret Santa nonsense?" "Let's see... I got my gift from LyricsDusk. I just sent mine to the Empty Chimera. I can only assume the Empty Chimera has been giving gifts to hungry_visitor. TheGreatOne115 is giving his CP to AcerakTheEternal. Yup. Everything is as it should be. How was your shopping trip?" "I got the greatest gift for my best friend. Pumpkins for me. So, life is good."
Action 2: Back in the battlefield, the red box propelled by horned streaks appears through a red and white striped portal. Out of the sack, the box drops. Its flaming Christmas Trees glow as they plummet, which cost the weirdo an extra fifty cents to get. Who knows why? He must have thought it would strike fear or something. A bit useless, but whatever. Back to the action, the box crashes into the ground, vaguely near the Empty Chimera. The cardboard ruptures as it digs a crater into the earth. From the crater emerges a flock of metal owls. Most hold various letters and fly off through snow white portals. However, a few remain and instead set up the projector and speakers. As the projector flickers on, one of the birds pokes the Empty Chimera. The Chimera turns and most likely crushes the bird. Then it sees the "wizard" on the screen. The speakers screech protest before the "wizard" talks. "Sorry, I couldn't be here in person, but it's Christmas time and I'm bored of Halloween. So, while I fight snails, I'll sing you a song." His videographic self slaps on a white beard, pulls on a red jacket, and sings, "Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh." This hopefully confuses the Chimera a bit. Or not. It might, at least.
He continues singing. "Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a turbo powered slay -er." Then the box explodes. A huge Christmas light with arms and legs at its base instead of... well, other lights, pops out of the box. It's bulb glows red with fury as its green arms reach to its sides and pull out two strings of Christmas lights. "Crashing through the snow." The bulb bot barrels forward through the bright bits of snow that bounced out in a big bump when the box went boom (10 B words. Success). The snow scatters into a cloud of white that slightly obscures normal vision. Of course, the Empty Chimera probably doesn't work on "normal vision", but its fun anyways. "With rockets on the way." Within the cloud, the robot stops. Its back panels fold out, revealing primary and secondary colored missiles. They burst out with green fire streaking behind them. Their glowing heads cut through the snow as they turn to face the Chimera. "Into the heads they go." Well, there's only the one head to aim at, but the point stands. The missiles come crashing into the Empty Chimera's mask, exploding with bright color and painting the mask (and I know this is crazy) not white. "Laughing all the way." The robot seems to attempt a laugh, but, because it lacks a mouth, fails spectacularly (it does give a jolly green glow though). Thankfully, other voices laugh their crooked, untrustworthy laughs. "Thieves and bombers sing." Emerging from their silver portals in the cloud of snow, various bandits holding candy cane knives and various ornament grenades growl something reminiscent of a song. "Setting the town alight." They let loose their ornaments, covering the Chimera's mask in porcelain shards and more paint. Then, the ones with candy canes move in and stab at the mask. After their blows land, they attempt to fade back into their portals. "Oh what fun it is to fight and sing a slaying song to night." The bulb bot emerges from the cloud. "Oh! Murder bells." The speakers burst with the sound of bells. "Murder bells." The robot claps its whips together, causing a plastic-y sort of ring. "Murder all the way." Finally, the robot attacks. Its whips lash out and grab the Empty Chimera's two legs. (In the film the "wizard" dons a mocking smile.) The bot flicks the whips back, causing the Chimera to resort to its hands to stay upright. It then runs forwards and shines bright, colorful light into the Chimera's mask. Electricity jolts off of the brilliant bulb, cutting colors into its surface. "Oh what fun it is to ride in a turbo powered slay -ER!" As the song ends, the bulb shrinks down into a single bulb and shatters from its inability to cope with the "long" sung turbo charge.
Action 3: "I hope the Chimera enjoys its present." "Enjoy isn't the word I'd use." "Well, you know, it's probably the type of thing that enjoys a challenge. It also isn't a furry green guy with a pet dog. It's got the green arm, sure, but there's only an eighty percent chance it dislikes Christmas. Probably ninety-five after this." "And you hope it enjoys your present?" "Yes." With that said and nothing better to do, the weirdo and Demogoblin attempt to enter the portal back to the battlefield, hoping against hope that there aren't any pumpkin land mines or pumpkin lasers or Assassin Snails (Fun fact: Assassin Snails exist. They hunt Trumpet Snails, which also exist. Hmm... what would an Assassin Snail Wiley Coyote V.S. Trumpet Snail Road Runner look like? Probably slower than the originals.)
Entity Order: Demogoblin follows to the PORTAL.
ACTION 3: I explain to the Empty Chimera that as it's a Halloween event monster and Christmas has just passed, it's in the wrong time of year and therefore it should remove itself from the battlefield, go home and wear a Santa hat. This compelling line of reasoning is supplemented with a red-and-green coloured bayonet straight to the Cracked Mask of the Empty Chimera.
(Thank you O-R-I-G-I-N, for acknowledging my gift!)
Action 1: I distribute regular table salt in place of the healing salt for the pyramid scheme. Nobody will ever know.
Actions 2 & 3: I go along with what everyone else is doing and attempt to bring some Christmas spirit to the Empty Chimera. I do this by doing what I do best, throwing together random ingredients and hoping for the best. I throw some snow into a pot and add a wrapped present or two into the mix. I also cut down a nearby evergreen tree and throw the entire thing in. Finally, I add a magic hat, a glowing nose, and a heart two sizes larger than the Grinch’s heart into the mixture, and heat it until it all melts. I then force it down the Empty Chimera’s throat.
Orders: Elephant and Pyramid Pigmen, help distribute “healing” salt! Not-Aegislash, attack the Chimera!
Through the power of ownership I retrieve the Unique Factory out of my inventory and create stone salt out of stones for the pyramid scheme (they will be too stoned to notice the difference between the fake salts and the original product). Also I am accepting interns from all dimensions from now on so I send an inter(n)dimensional signal to call for the interns. Free labor, disposable minions, abused hope... that is how you create a cult.
Rock gunner, clean the rock cannon. Toast boy, watch the toast. Overseer, oversee the entities, interns AND improve morale. Mask, defend the base against attackers. Entities (and interns) left collect rock.
The "Bovemists" appear to be saying random hrms. however, you can tell different! It's one of the seven-thousand three-hundred and ninety-six special codes used by worshippers of Joe who want to hide their worship! ...you don't know which one, though, seeing as you're not one to hide it. You also see some graves are near the back of the church, and the plants around them look dead.
BiCyclops summoned! 25 + 25 HP, 17x2A.
You throw the grenade! However, Hungry Visitor was in the area in the past and I'm pretty sure he tried to awaken the entire thing for kicks, so the explosion only harms the wall a little after depleting the Awakening.
You cast Friends!... you can't see the Godmodder anywhere, though.
The Chimera rips one of the missiles in twain with its Dragging arm, carving a bloody line through the bandits to slash through the whips and knock the bulb away... but one of the missiles still splattered paint all over it. Chimeras Mask recolored to 'Sullied porcelain-white' condition!
You head through the portal back to the battlefield. Whether intentionally or by accident, you appear to have probably passed the trial.
The Empty Chimera ducks under the Bayonet, its shadowy arm coming up and passing through the bright colours, leaving the bayonet drained and empty of holiday influence. a flicker of cyan wafts out...
You do that!
The Empty Chimera counters by claiming it doesn't have a throat, because it doesn't! Undeterred, you pour it down its face. Which is to say, its mask. The Heat causes the Masks structure to crack further, lowering it to Forlorn condition, bright traceries of light flying out of its cracks. It's nearly destroyed!
you make stone salt, increasing Pyramid Scheme importance! Then you start accepting large quantities of interns, which are thus summoned! the overseer is somewhat overworked as a result, but they'll do their best.
method of transport. 4A. out of the battlefield!
0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF.
.
Pumpkin Snails! 15x7 HP Pumpkin!A
pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . 
Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. has a Safe. full of stuff. and a spike-bush.
Steve accepts the surprisingly frantic apology from Acerak. Meanwhile, the squidship finishes dying. it is now dead.
The Kittenish Pelican gathers more rocks! Fascinating.
the Crabs get rockz (4+4+1+1+4+1 rocks). tree a tree, the toaster toasts, the toasterbody watch.
The gunner clears a little. The interns do their best to gather rocks, each rolling a d3 with a DC of 2, getting 13 rocks.
Not-Aegislash looks for opportunities to assassinate the Chimera (since it has no non-assassinate attacks). It does not find any at this time.
The Pigmen and Elephant distribute ordinary salt. My goodness. what a scam. I can't beleaf this. The Pyramid Scheme reaches the level of importance sufficient that I have to figure out what it's actually going to do. I then figure out what it's going to do.
The chicken continues to huddle near its eggs. It probably fell asleep a few turns ago now.
'Asmodeus' idles.
The Darkness's blade slams into the wall, leaving deep marks along its surface for 20 damage. Something is shifting.
The Power of the Pumpkin Snails resonates with the successful completion of their trial! by completing the trial in accordance with the principals of pumpkins, one of the fallen snails is revived!
The Assorted Assassins loiter.
Trump pays some hella dosh to all of those money-starved unemployable interns in this wide ol' world. Real Humanitarian, he is. Altruistic, too.
The wall regenerates some Awakening.
Poutine Pours Poutine on all the stone salt! It's ruined! Luckily, there's still regular table salt.
The Empty Chimera charges forwards, clawed arm ripping through Asmodeus, which instantly dies. Its slender arm whistles through the air next, before being knocked off-course by the Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast batting it aside. shimmering white rising from the many cracks in its Mask, the Chimera glares at it, and a spear of Darkness from the dripping arm stabs the M.oHVfEoT through... through a gap between its tentacles, that is, as the Mask rolls a perfect 40 on the avoidance roll. The Chimera still smiles, though, shining that same white it always has. It is for Always. And you are all not. So it says. Then, it turns to its next target... hm...
The newly returned O_R_I_G_I_N_!
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium.
[A-naturewriter] Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) out of the battlefield!
[OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 0/30 HP, In constant pain, a
[OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. )
[ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 81 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake.
Earth Pelican 66 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity)
Rock Crabs 33 Rocks x6 awakened x2(13x2 integrity)
[OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 1 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence!
Toaster 30/30 HP. Toasting 4 Toast II
Toasterboy 13 Rocks. Awakened (0/30 integrity), 1 Toast III
Stone chicken 29+#) Rocks. fed. processing food V. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity)
Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks. fairly jammed with poutine. manned by 7-rock gunner with 13 awaken!) Awakened(30/30 integrity)
Interns 1/1x30 HP, Interning!Ax30 (bribed)
[OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity)
Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity)
[OG-TheGreatOne] Not-Aegislash 20/20 HP, -10 to incoming damage, 4/1d8: Assassinate.
Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7
Inter-Dimensional Elephant 145/200 HP, 4 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene,
Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme!
[AG-Shard II] Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er.
[OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum!
Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs but all have +2 fostered, +3 Warmed)
[OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh.
Bicyclops 25+25 HP, 17x2A
[OG-googiddybop] 'Asmodeus' 0/30 HP, 8A
[OG-Origin] Demogoblin 70/70 HP, 3/3 20A bombs.
[All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none.
[OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder
[AG] Assorted Assassins, 11x2 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 8/1d8 : Assassinate.
[AG] Trump 80/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake.
The Wall 99/20 HP, Guard Trump...and Poutine!!!!!A Awakened (3/25 integrity)
Poutine, 74+30 HP. +4 HP/turn. Is made of fries, cheese, and gravy. 4/4 What's Gravy even made of?.
[WAAAAAAAAA] Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN!
[AG] 100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,102 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event!
[All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Blemished. Dragging arm- Pristine. Claws-
Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Forlorn, Sullied porcelain-
white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack.
Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique 'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 70 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Light Wounds.
Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian.
OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.)
Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles.
ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.).
SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated).
Acerak the Eternal.
<Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab!
slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!>BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby!
O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds.
The Great One: Minor Wounds.
LyricsDusk:. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
I grab a scroll of unholy faith, sign it with my own blood and then target the interns.
One of them starts to speak: fRIs DeiN SteiN eSSn DeN ToT GibT uNs .... fRIs DeiN SteiN...
Another one starts continues: In Ein. In Einem. In Einemhaus. In Einemhausdalebten. In.... Ein. In Einem....
One of them starts to hum and then stops, claps twice and then hums again, repeating the process over and over.
Then the calibration is done. Their minds are completely removed. The replacement happens now. They speak in one voice, filled with happyness:
I am happy. I am working the stone. I am happy. Nothing else is needed. Let me work the stone. Thank you for letting me work here. I will tell all my friends how happy I am to work here. I am working the stone and that makes me happy.
This is the beginning of a cult ( scroll of unholy faith spreads calibration and replacement among them ).
I collect rocks
I create a wall-o-mancer out of rocks and let him talk with the wall of trump, persuading it to work for the greatest rock manufacturer that has ever lived: Hunger for eggs on toast.
Rock gunner, clean the rock cannon. Toast boy, watch the toast. Overseer, oversee the entities, interns AND improve morale. Mask, defend the base against attackers. Entities (and interns) left collect rock.
ENTITY ACTIONS: Bicyclops and Darkness, please strike the wall.
So the Empty Chimera's Mask is nearly gone, huh? Guess it's time to completely annihilate it.
ACTION 1: From my holster I draw a pistol, and pull its trigger. From the pistol barrel a piece of string is fired, and the string sticks in a Crack in the Mask. I grin confidently, and press the trigger again, and again, and again, until six strings are stuck to the Cracks in the Mask. Then I press a button, and the strings suddenly conduct a thousand volts of electricity into the Cracks in the Mask, completely shattering it.
ACTION 2: And if a thousand volts of electricity wasn't enough to destroy the Empty Chimera's Mask, I take out a sword. In a single second three slashes occur, striking the two remaining Legs of the Empty Chimera and its Mask.
I create more stone salt and awaken 2 rock crabs.
Action 1: I hire the assassins to kill Trump. In return, I will let each of them join the pyramid scheme for free, as well as let them keep all of Trump’s dosh. I also give them my word that I’ll stop sending Not-Aegislash to assassinate them.
Actions 2 & 3: I mix together table salt, rock salt, salt from Prince Charming disintegrating, and some leftover “essence” of partridge to create a salt elemental.
Orders: Aegislash, help out the assassins if they decided to help, otherwise assassinate them! Salt elemental, create salt! (healing salt if possible, but any kind of salt will do) Elephant and Pyramid Pigmen, distribute salt!
ACTION 1: I summon Demogorgon.
ACTION 2: I summon Great Cthulhu.
ACTION 3: I tell them to destroy Godmodder and everyone else.
I win. :)
jack l p
Entity Orders (+ required RP): "... Really? That was the trial? Just a big pumpkin, a big pumpkin snail, and a lava pit? That's all? ... Well, I guess that's that! Now that I have been proven worthy, it's time to... be killed by a Chimera... Hmm... I should've stayed in the big snail. I would be burning, sure, but I would be happy." "I wouldn't be." "You're a demon. You're fireproof. Right?" "No. However, now, since your trial is over, I shall-" "No. Do you see that man behind the wall? The one that's a human, not the one that's a food." "No. He's behind a wall." "Well, he's got this lawyer by the name of... Jewel E-On-E. I have no idea what that means, but, if/when he shows up, we need you. Got it?" "And you want me to throw my bombs at Trump and his wall, correct?" "Yes. Definitely. I'm glad you understand." "Fine." Demogoblin waddles off on his little baby legs to go and bomb The Wall.
Action 1: "It seems the Empty Chimera did not enjoy my present. I guess now it is time to panic." The "wizard" takes a good minute to scream about how unfair this is, before he likely gets slapped by Hunger for Eggs on Toast, who has been the Chimera's main target for the past few turns. "Okay, sorry, it's my turn, fine. Fine. I passed the Trial of the Snails. I am now a legend probably. And, it's a new YEAR. Yes. 2020. You know what that means." Unfortunately, exactly no one knows what "that" means. Oblivious to this, he begins to summon up the powers of 2020. But, what could the powers of a brand new, untested year be? The power of creation? The power of reinvention? The power to get another Christmas this year (No new year equals no new Christmas after all.)? No. Instead, he summons a power that is completely unique to the year. He produces a pair of cheap party glasses that read 2020. He takes these and hands them to his local optometrist. The eye doctor examines them and looks through the lenses. He then studies a clipboard that reads some bozo's prescription and shakes his head. He pops the plastic lenses out and tapes in a glass pair. The doctor nods and hands them back to the "wizard". "Thank you Doug." The weirdo puts them on and laughs. "HAHAHA! Now, I possess this year's ultimate power. 20-20 VISION! HAHAHAHA!"
Action 2: With his new "perfect vision," the "wizard" charges at the Empty Chimera. As he sprints forward, he somehow sees the slightest indication of the Chimera's counter to his attack. Not that he really needed it, of course. The Chimera almost unfailingly swings its Dragging Arm at whatever attacks it. Regardless, he feints a running punch and leaps over the Empty Chimera, avoiding whatever nonsense the Chimera planned. As the weirdo soars overhead, he tosses a shiny disco ball into the air, launching it as high as his "wizard" muscles allow him. The weirdo lands awkwardly and rolls, ducking under the assumed slice from the Slender Arm. He leaps to his feet and spins like almost like a ballerina. With a swish of his invisible (nonexistent) cape, three party hats shoot at the Empty Chimera. This does little. At best, they are painted cardboard spikes, so the Chimera probably swipes them aside. However, the weirdo continues, undeterred, tossing forward two waves of streamers instead of party hats. However, as they speed through the air, they shift into vibrant snakes and cartoonishly drop to the ground, losing all forward momentum and instead slithering on toward the Chimera in an attempt to bite at its legs. As the Chimera easily deals with his new reptile friends, the weirdo counts the final number, "One." The shiny disco ball drops down on the Chimera's Mask, exploding in a bright display of fireworks on the Chimera that reads "DON'T KILL ME!" As the words disappear, the "wizard" has a sour look on his face. "That was supposed to read '2020.' I mean, that works too, but it's too... cowardly. Yes. I'm definitely not that."
Action 3: The "wizard" stares at his scroll, almost mesmerized. "Well, I'm out of holiday attacks, but I have apparently failed to explore methods to terminate the Chimera. It seems that it has shadow tendrils that 'drip'. I dunno how that works, maybe some Peter Pan logic or something, but, if I can make it less 'drippy', it should do... something? At least make it less cosmetically terrifying." So, the weirdo takes the simplest course of action. He pulls out a pair of tennis shoes and throws them on the ground. He mutters something about "Pride of Athlete, Source of Strength, Bane of Existence," and the shoes begin to jog. The "wizard" groans and runs to catch up with the shoes and, miraculously, passes them. Panting for breath, the weirdo runs with the shoes on a path that would run straight into the Chimera. He rolls his eyes and readies his shoulder to tackle the Chimera. The Chimera decides to strike then, ready to use a fun, midturn action to killerize the weirdo.
However, as it makes its initial counter and strikes the weirdo, the "wizard" is suddenly replaced with a punching bag. As its claws shred through the heavy bag, the "wizard" pops his head out from behind the Chimera. "Sorry. I figured you'd want to run to get used to being down a leg. But, if you wanted to box, be my guest." Suddenly, the Chimera is swarmed by various sized and weighted punching bags. They sway around in harmless arcs, only blocking the Chimera from reaching the weirdo. Inevitably, the Chimera tears through these punching bags. As it emerges from the storm, it finds itself in a large blue void filled with sports equipment floating aimlessly about. It stands upon a simple running track with the weirdo and shoes jogging ahead of it. The weirdo yells back, "Welcome to ATHLETICON! The Fortress of Fitness. The Sanctum of Strong. The Realm of Ripped. And you just ran it out of punching bags. Congratulations!" The Chimera growls, but initially just waits. It figures it would be easier for them to just come back around. But, as it waits, it hears the faint sound of gravel rushing down a hill behind it. It turns and see that the track is falling into an empty void below. Grudgingly, the Chimera decides to run on, figuring it best to kill either the "wizard" or the shoes depending on which one it gets its hands on first. And so the world seems to devolve to the weirdo from an annoying necessity of physical health to a mad dash to stay alive. The "wizard", shoes, and Chimera run around the circle for at least an ATHLETICON Hour (not much different for people in the Realm of Ripped, but outside its about a minute. ATHLETICON's motto is "Getting fit is an hour away" after all). Finally, exhausted, they all stop in a floating locker room. The Chimera attempts to attack the weirdo, again, but the weirdo throws a towel at it. "You're dripping Shadow all over. Clean yourself off." The slightest bit exhausted from its run, it starts to dry off just a bit, making its Shadowy Tendrils drip just a bit less. It then quickly realizes what its doing, and rips the towel to shreds. "Nice doing business with you." The shoes drop limp and the world dissolves. The "wizard" tosses his 2020 glasses off, figuring the enchantment was out of juice after over an hour's use. "Now, be my guest. My face is fair game."
Demogorgon give you all a hug and snaps. The chimera is now wearing a keep austin weird shirt. “No fight.” Demogorgon says.
jack l p
You do a magic on the interns. but wait. you made them Cyan. the Godmodder is Cyan. hm..
You collect 5d5=2+2+2+2+1=9 Rocks!
Trumps wall is a wall. It is unconvinced.
orders given.
Orders given. Reacting quickly to your pistol, the Chimera's shadowy arm comes up and breaks each string, blocking the electricity in its dubious structure.
The Chimera darts back as you draw your sword,quick steps getting it out of range, and smiles at you... but there's a hint of wariness to it.
you do those things!
The Assassins would love to, but they're currently dying of deadly poison and the Godmodder is offering them the antidote, hence their lives, which are worth more to them then the dosh you are able to offer.
You summon a Salt Elemental! 20 HP, 4 regen, and its health qualifies as salt! It can't make it healing salt, though. It's just a salt elemental, not some kind of magic... well, it is magic, but it's not a wizard or anything.
Orders given!
you summon demogorgon. It suddenly turns into a gorgon skilled with demolition, like the demogoblin. It blows itself up by accident, because it's not That skilled at demolition.
Then you summon Great Cthulhu. Great is a term for the honours course for philosophy and such in oxford. Great Cthulhu is a philosopher. They believe as long as someone is remembered, they exist. In order to destroy the Godmodder and everyone else, they decide they must forget the Godmodder (and everyone else) exists. So they wipe their memory. Now, the thing is, everyone else either includes you, or it includes them, but your phrasing doesn't suggest both. So, they either forget they exist,and die, or they forget you exist, and go off and do their own thing, alone in the universe.
((Both of these summons qualify as instant summons, and would normally be brainwashed by the Godmodder, but the Godmodder isn't present, so they just failed. Also, if you want to summon a version of Cthulhu which works like cthulhu, you need more then one action; this Cthulhu is fine for godmodder attacks (if he were targetable), but it would have a paltry 10 HP and 2 attack- not nearly enough to kill anyone, let alone everyone.))
You gain the power of 20-20 vision! (20-20 vision actually just means "about as good as the eye people expect", not perfect)"
method of transport. 4A. out of the battlefield!
0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF.
.
Pumpkin Snails! 15x7 HP Pumpkin!A
pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . 
Using that power, you avoid the Empty Chimera's counter (which, as it turns out, was a swipe from the slender arm, followed by repeated attempts to grab your face and throw you into a wall, not a use of the Dragging arm after all.) and leave the Disco Ball to explode on the Empty Chimera's Mask, which Shatters from the explosion, something fundamentally broken. Before the pieces can fall too far, the white fire between the cracks seems to... solidify, holding them together, but it's a clearly temporary affair, only until the end of turn battle... why? Mask Destroyed! The empty chimera will not be able to use the mask in the future!
The Chimera evidently completely failed its planning earlier, or it would only maybe work, but whatever, it chases you through Athleticon. And completely forgets your actions goal just in time for you to trick it into drying off its Shadowy Tendril, which is reduced to Oozing condition!
EoTB
Steve idles because Acerak didn't post.
the Mask defends. Cleaning progresses slowly, but it does progress.
The Crabs gather rocks-20 of them- and the interns gather 10 rocks. the pelicans also get 5 rocks each.
The Stone Chicken lays another stone egg.
Not-Aegislash looks for a chance. there isn't one at the moment, but...
The pigmen, elephant, and elemental distribute their healing salt all over! the elemental Is.
the Bicyclops attacks the wall, doing 31 damage past the awakening!
the Chicken keeps huddling. the Demogoblin bombs the Wall, doing 20 damage!
The Darkness given Form continues to attack the Wall, doing 20 more damage!
The Darkness given Soul floats over to the Interns. and then floats away.
The Pumpkin Snails finish putting together their next trial(there are, after all, 3- one per dead snail)... but... There's nobody to try! sort of! they decide to wait and see...
One of the Assassins sees an opportunity, and Assassinates the rock overseer! which is great for me because it turns out I never added them to the listing!
Trump invests in the pyramid scheme! Importance goes up, but odds of it being hijacked by the Godmodder also go up!
Poutine uses What's Gravy even made of?. Gravy is made of many things, and may or may not include meat. Wait, Meat. people are made of Meat! Poutine is made of Gravy, which is probably made of Meat! so, Poutine is made of meat, so Poutine is made of people! Therefore, Poutine is a person! I'm pretty sure there aren't any flaws in my logic and anyway I'm right. Poutine becomes a person (again?). A person made of Poutine, but you can't win every battle.
Finally, the Flames on the Empty Chimera's Mask lose cohesion, and the pieces of it clatter to the ground. Implausible durability now lost, some of the pieces break themselves. But they're all still White, eternally white. The white is beyond physical reality, as though one took the line from grey to white and hiked in the same direction for an entire month, and made a material out of whatever they ended up with. And it just looks like pure white, because that's what it is, in a way. an extrapolation of everything it means for something to be white. It's no different from the white of snow, or ordinary porcelain, and yet it's Entirely different, in some ineffable way. the Wizard looks at it, fascinated. The white flame is still burning in the edges of each shard of the Mask, burning Through the now-mundane material. And the white fire still burns, just the same, on the Chimera's face. There's something else they should be paying attention to, but it doesn't matter. The mask... They know it could last to the end of reality, it could go on without end and keep shining that jealous white without any light. It ought have easily endured this battle. but they also know the Mask is broken. durable, surely, for a mask. But it was broken into shards, first cracked by an onslaught and then finally shattered (by them). It has fallen apart and lost what it was. And yet they know the Mask is indestructible, and eternal, and unchanging. and yet it clearly is not. And yet this is no paradox. Why?
That question resounds in their mind, and then goes quiet. The white of the flames flares again, sputtering its way over the noncombustible material of Ceramic. The flames don't make sense either. they're not eternal, but ethereal, true. and so their Ends make sense. But how is the Flame? it hoards its light to survive an instant longer, or so it was thought. but how is that possible? That isn't how fire works. Flames, masks... those things aren't sentient. They don't have emotions, do they? That concept shouldn't apply. And yet they Know the Fire does this. They can see the ground beneath the fires, unchanged despite its brightness. and they can see how the view of the fire is white, a removal of all details, even though they know it's a purification of that which they should see through it. A purification, and yet it seems a corruption, but they know it is not. How?
And they realise.
But then, that is what they do. Nobody else knows what they realised, save perhaps the Chimera. There is a discontinuity there, in the realisation, and so the narration will not continue. But what they should have been paying attention to, what they once would have payed attention to, is that the Slender hand on its slender arm had been placed upon their torso, and the Dragging arm was laboriously lifted up and placed around their waist(so as to ensure movement would cause injury), and the Shadow arm, though only oozing now, had melted itself over much of their body. And then the white fire leapt up from the porcelain-shards, and wreathed the remainder of their body in itself, and a time passes. And then the Chimera draws away, leaving behind the weirdo- or, O_R_I_G_I_N_- with a gaping hole in the middle of their torso, and a body formed of white and black as pure as the mask was. They may choose whether they continue being that body(albeit with some limits on actions), or they can respawn and consider that Thing dead.
The Chimera's Actions are now over. However, there's a few more things to make note of. First of all, the White question marks at the end of its statline have been removed. Second of all, the status 'Fascination with Beyond' has been removed. And thirdly, with the Mask no longer covering its head, it is possible to see what its face looks like.
A twisted, halfway ogre-ish, face was revealed. spiked teeth and narrow tusks... but the face is the same smooth grey as the torso and the Slender Arm. additionally, above the nose height, there's... nothing. An empty hole, an absence, which almost seems to scream out. It has no eyes, and has no ears, and no place to put a brain. but it keeps moving anyway. Oh, and it's still smiling. the Chimera's face is not an attack target, though, and appears to be entirely nonvital.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium.
[A-naturewriter] Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) out of the battlefield!
[OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 0/30 HP, In constant pain, a
[OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. )
[ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 86 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake.
Earth Pelican 71 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity)
Rock Crabs 33 Rocks x6 awakened x4(13x4 integrity)
[OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 1 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence!
Toaster 30/30 HP. Toasting 4 Toast III
Toasterboy 13 Rocks. Awakened (0/30 integrity), 1 Toast III and 1 stone egg
Stone chicken 22+#& Rocks. fed. processing food 0. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity)
Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks. sorta jammed with poutine. manned by 7-rock gunner with 13 awaken!) Awakened(30/30 integrity)
Interns 1/1x30 HP, Interning!Ax30 (bribed, Cyan, mindless.)
[OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity)
Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity)
[OG-TheGreatOne] Not-Aegislash 20/20 HP, -10 to incoming damage, 5/1d8: Assassinate.
Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7
Inter-Dimensional Elephant 150/200 HP, 5 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene,
Salt Elemental 24 HP, +4/R, HP is Salt.
Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme!
[AG-Shard II] Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er.
[OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum!
Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs but all have +2 fostered, +3 Warmed, and +1 Nurtured)
[OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh.
Bicyclops 25+25 HP, 17x2A
[OG-Origin] Demogoblin 70/70 HP, 2/3 20A bombs.
[All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none.
[OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder
[AG] Assorted Assassins, 10x2 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 9/1d8 : Assassinate.
[AG] Trump 80/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake.
The Wall 38/20 HP, Guard Trump...and Poutine!!!!!A Awakened (3/25 integrity)
Poutine, 78+30 HP. +4 HP/turn. Is made of fries, cheese, and a person.
[WAAAAAAAAA] WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN!
[AG] 100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,102 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event!
[All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Blemished. Dragging arm- Pristine. Claws-
Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Oozing. Legs- Duo. ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack.
Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique 'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 109 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Light Wounds.
Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian.
OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.)
Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles.
ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.).
SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated).
Acerak the Eternal.
<Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab!
slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!>BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby!
O_R_I_G_I_N: Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. has a Safe. full of stuff. and a spike-bush.
The Great One: Minor Wounds.
LyricsDusk:. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
Action 1: Tell Professor Cthulhu to make everyone forget Acerack.
Action 2: Eat a magic donut.
Action 3: Kill Not-Aegislash
jack l p
Silently, I start a small fire in front of the Bovemist's church's doors, and cast invisibility on myself.
Joe: 24/50
Steve: Go shank Googleguy to death. I've got work to do, and nobody dares cross me.
Walton Gibson - Human Cleric, Level 1