I will be adding any comment ideas  btw the effects start at the person that gets impaled by this card effects don't happen until someone gets stabbed (Edit: everything beyond spades is made by the comments. Also I will only put Legitimate requests)

A deck of cards with various effects per card:

Spades: ace, d20*d20*d20 explosion damage. 2, 5 goblins appear. 3, the board game exploding kittens appears next to a exploding kitten who insta-kills anyone next to it. 4, a lv 21 wizard appears. 5, every creature is frozen in time for 5 years. 6, the nearest enemy is now convinced that pineapple belongs on pizza. 7, somewhere on the Material plane the most kind, humble, and nice king just exploded. 8, everyone in a 10 mile radius takes 1d10 fire damage. 9, every person named Tim dies instantly. 10, every druid in a 120 mile radius is put to lv 1d20. Jack, the person this card hits is hit with 5 levels of Exhaustion. Queen, a giant(preexisting) volcano erupts. King, the person that gets hit gets there Int, Wis, and cha set to 1.

Hearts: ace, set the nearest guy named dave on fire. 2, makes them have 2 hearts it doesn't do anything having a second heart does not do anything good or bad for the creature. 3, give every person who is named bob brian damage not brain, brian they lose all of their intelligence. 4, eyes cover a random creature within 20 ft. 5,  the caster turns into a halfling with full-body tattoos. 6, up to ten people within 60 ft. must speak in shouts for the next three hours. 7, nine dolphins appear, swimming in the water, or ground, or maybe air. 8, 

Special: If anyone pulls a joker the universe explodes or take 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000d100

Thank you     thesupercoolDMthatlikespie's(ace, 1, 2, and 3 of hearts)      Gjalr(4, 5, 6, and 7 of hearts)      jake_state(Joker)     for your suggestions.