A glossy, full-color cookbook with a suspiciously modern aesthetic.
The cover features Piña Pearson, metallic face polished, sunglasses impossibly reflective, holding a baking tray upon which rests a perfectly golden pineapple.
Bold golden text arcs across the top:
“Piña Pearson’s 100 Ways to Eat a Pineapple, Part I”
(no one knows if a Part II exists… Piña insists it does.)
Piña’s Pearson's Preparation Table
Whenever you consult the book while preparing, cooking, or otherwise fussing with a pineapple, roll 1d10
|
1 |
Pure Pineapple: |
6 |
Grilled Pineapple |
|
2 |
Pineapple Juices & Cocktails, |
7 |
Chilled Pineapple Desserts |
|
3 |
Warm Pineapple Desserts, |
8 |
Pineapple as a Dish or Cup |
|
4 |
Pineapple With Meat |
9 |
Pineapple Stews & Curries: Fragrant, hearty dishes that somehow combine seaside flavors with deep heat. |
|
5 |
Pineapple Sauces & Salsa:, |
10 |
You meant well. You tried. You rolled a 10. Eat the monstrosity you created. |







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