The Acme Staff takes the form of a stick that was rammed inside a crate that says “Acme” with red sharpie writing on one side “Property of Wile E Coyote)”. Upon use, a player must roll a d100 on the Tune table that causes any random things to happen. You can store the effects of the Acme staff, you don’t necessarily need to use it the moment you roll on the Tune table, you can only keep one effect stored in the acme staff. Additionally, while wielding the staff, the user becomes resistant to bludgeoning damage and become extremely stretchy and cartoony. Also, once obtaining a staff, you automatically gain extra traits
“The Butt monkey” Unlocked immediately when the target creature you intend to use the staff on has a higher CR than your current level or you’re over confident, you will gain disadvantage when using wacky tactics but on lower CR targets, you gain advantage. Reality also bends to your will, any wacky ideas is now possible due to obtaining this staff. Additionally, any secondary effects the staff does will not apply to creatures with a higher CR than the users; however they are still vulnerable to the damage.
“Caricature Characterization” Unlocked immediately, the users expressions become incredibly over exaggerated additionally external factors also over exaggerate the user’s experiences, example when a anvil falls on a users head, the anvil shatters and the user gains a 5 inch bump on their head that are being circled by 3 birds or the users eyes pop out their eye sockets in shock.
“Rubber Hose” Unlocked immediately, when user is injured their body adapts to it in a way to fit its shape. Example your body is shot by a laser, then a giant hole will appear on that area, if your crushed you’ll be flat like paper so on so forth.
“Fourth Wall” Unlocked after level 10 becomes completely hyperaware of the fact that you exist as a TTRPG character. You’re able to address the party as their real life names, converse with the DM and additionally your able to change any roll to a critical success or critical fail. The amount of times you can do this is equal to your proficiency and targets with a high CR level compared to your level are not affected.
“Innate Tune” Unlocked after level 10, the user is able to fully control what the Acme Staff does, allowing them to pick anything off the tune table instead of rolling for it. The amount of times the user can do this equal to your proficiency and targets with high CR level compared to your level will not be affected by the selected spell.
“Tune Mastery” Unlocked after level 15, the user is able to fully control and choose what the Acme Staff does with the mere cost of a 5 level spell slot each time you use the Acme Staff. However targets with high CR level compared to your level will not be affected by the selected spell.
Tune Table:
1-2: The player will gain boxing gloves that deal 2d10 damage and when attacking a enemy a cloud of dust will appear on the ground you fight the enemy. Your allies can join in on the fight and will deal double damage too but has a chance for you to take 1d12 bludgeoning damage.
3-4: Upon casting the ground that you, the target, or both will disappear and turn into a giant hole on the ground. Both creatures will stand in the air as if there is still ground to stand on. Both must roll a perception check, the creature with the highest perception check will fall to the ground dealing 10d12 damage while the other walks out safely.
5-6: Upon casting, a light bulb will appear on the users head. The user gains a advantage over intelligence and wisdom based throws. User can also pick the light bulb up and throw it dealing 1d8 bludgeoning. If the light bulb is left untouched, it’ll fall on the users head, dealing 1d8 bludgeoning
7-8: A anvil appears 500 feet above the target and will fall, creating a shadow below. The anvil takes about 12 seconds before hitting the target, dealing 10d6 damage and three birds will spawn above the targets head, circling them.
9-10: The user gains a bowler cap that can be used to store items infinitely. The bowler cap lasts for 3 hours and once over the bowler cap forms a mouth in the rim of the hat and begins spitting the items that were previously inside.
11-12: Upon casting, the user creates a wall that is painted to be the landscape and is made to look invisible. Creatures must roll a perception check in order to see the wall however the player is able to walk through the wall just fine as if it isn’t there.
13-14: Upon casting, the user summons a rake on the floor. If a creature steps on the rake, the rake will shoot up and deal 1d6 bludgeoning damage to the creature.
15-16: Upon casting, the next time the user dashes, their legs will start running in place so fast to the point it creates a dust cloud on the bottom of the feet of the user for 6 seconds. After, they will dash quadruple their speed in that moment. Additionally, if there is any body of water between the user and their destination, they’ll simply walk right through. The user can also run up or run though walls. Additionally user creates a trail of smoke behind them that blocks vision.
17-18: Upon casting, the users body shifts and transforms into a very attractive female of the target creature which causes the creatures eyeballs to jut out and turn into hearts, immediately charming them.
19-20: Upon casting, the user will form a thought bubble of a Knife, Anvil, Stick of dynamite, or a baseball bat that is dependent on a d4 roll. After forming the thought bubble the user must roll a wisdom saving throw with a DC of 10, on a fail the item will fall on the users head dealing 1d4 slashing, 1d20 bludgeoning, 3d12 fire, and 1d8 bludgeoning damage respectively, on a success the user is able to rip the item out the thought bubble and use it.
21-22: Upon casting, a crate of dynamite will appear next to the user along with a detonator. The crate of dynamite deals 12d12 fire damage when detonated.
23-24: Upon casting, the staff will temporarily turn into a giant wooden hammer that the user can slam into any enemy dealing 10d12 bludgeoning damage. After the attack the staff returns to normal.
25-26: Upon casting, the user creates a giant safe that falls automatically on the target dealing 12d12 bludgeoning damage. When opening the safe, you’ll find that the target is inside the safe with one hp remaining. The user can also make the safe fall in front of them, in which to them, it will be incredibly lightweight but to other will be extremely heavy.
27-28: Upon casting, the user summons a cream pie and can either launch the cream pie that will fire itself at the target which deals 2d4 bludgeoning damage. Or toss it to a location safely landing on the surface pie side up, in which the pie will start forming smoke that will contort and move in a ghostly like manner and enter the users nose in which the user will begin levitating towards the pie.
29-30: Upon casting, the acme crate will produce 1 random item in the game.
31-32: Upon casting, the user produces a 16 feet long rocket that is temporarily suspended in the air. The user could ride the rocket before it launches dealing 10d12 fire damage to any creature caught in the 40 feet by 40 feet explosion.
33-34: Upon casting, the staff temporarily transforms into a fishing rod, in which when cast it will latch on a creature and pull them towards the user.
35-36: Upon casting, either a bear trap, banana peel, mouse trap, or a pit will appear in front of the user as a trap that deal 4d8 piercing, 2d8 bludgeoning, 1d4 bludgeoning, and 10d12 bludgeoning damage respectively and is determined with 1d4 roll
37-38: Upon casting, a giant cannon will appear in front of the user and the user must roll a constitution save with a dc of 10. On a fail, the cannon will launch itself backwards towards the player dealing 1d12 bludgeoning damage, leaving the cannon ball suspended in the air. On a critical fail, the cannon will explode on the user dealing 4d12 fire damage and causing soot to surround the user. On a success the cannon will fire at the intended target, dealing 6d10 bludgeoning damage.
39-40: Upon casting, the user creates a pole electric pole with a wanted poster of the target attached that lasts for 1 minute. As long as that wanted poster exists, any and all attacks will be directed to the target in any means.
41-42: Upon casting, a rubber nozzle appears on your fist, when using a bonus action to blow in it, it will cause your fist to rapidly grow into 3 stages. 1 stage will increase the damage to 1d6, 2 stage will boost it to 2d6 but you must roll a constitution save with a DC of 5 or you fist explodes dealing 2d8 damage and causing deafness to any creatures within 100 feet, 3stage will boost your damage to 4d12 but will make you roll the constitution save again with a DC of 15.
43-44: Upon casting, the users head turns into a steam boat nozzle and will make a boat sound alerting every creature in a 100 feet radius. Additionally, you gain proficiency on melee attacks
45-46: Upon casting, the staff becomes a shot gun temporarily for one shot. Once shot, it’ll guarantee a shot to the head and cloud the target in a cloud of black smoke, leaving only their eyes visible. This deals 2d8 fire damage.
47-48: Upon casting, the user can blow a kiss and creates a floating heart with wings that slowly flies towards a target. This heart has a range of 30feet and once touched by a creature, the creature becomes charmed.
49-50: Upon casting, user summons a piano 50 feet off the air suspended by a rope. The piano deals 8d12 bludgeoning damage when the rope is cut.
51-52: Upon casting, the user spins around in a tornado for 6 seconds, and then emerges in a completely new random outfit.
53-54: Upon casting, the users head temporarily transforms into a sunflower with eye, then, the center of the sunflower will shoot out a stream of water that travels in a 15 feet path in an arch.
55-56: Upon casting, the user is able to pull out any item of their choice out their back.
57-58: Upon casting, the staff will transform into a sniper rifle that deals 3d10 piercing damage with a range of 100 feet. The user must roll a constitution saving throw before firing with a DC of 10. On a fail, instead of firing the sniper rifle barrel will instead have a white flag with a red bang symbol with the text “Bang” on it
59-60: Upon casting, the staff will shrink down into a paint brush and a palette with paint on it, the user is able to paint anything they want and pull it right out. The item dissolves after 1 minute or when rolling a critical fail.
61-62: Upon casting, can spinach will appear in the users pockets. Once consumed you gain advantage on strength rolls and gain a +10 in them.
63-64: Upon casting, the user will put on a white bib and pull a table filled to the brim of food. In which can be used as bait or if the user and their allies consume, will heal them for 2d20
65-66: Upon casting, the user gains the ability to cast vicious mockery with advantage, however instead of 1d4 psychic, it deals 2d8 damage.
67-68: Upon casting, the user is able to spin wildly and appear in a costume as any profession they want. After so they are able to bend reality to fit their costume. Say the user turns into a traffic enforcer and holds out a stop sign at a moving vehicle, the vehicle will automatically stop.
69-70: Upon casting, the user is able to grant legs, arms, or mouths to a object and command them like they are creatures.
71-72: Upon casting, the user can temporarily stop a projectile in motion. Leaving it suspended in the air.
73-74: Upon casting, the user summons a line of 50 feet long train tracks that face horizontally from the user. After 12 seconds, a train steams through from a paper mache screen of a train tunnel then disappears again from another one. Any creature hit by the train deals 10d12 bludgeoning damage.
75-76: Upon casting, a hand buzzer appears on the user’s hand, once shaking the hand of a creature, the creature will take 1d4 electric damage and the creature becomes transparent besides their skeleton.
77-78: Upon casting, the user can sneeze and any creature in a 2 feet radius in front of the user will be sent back flying over 50 feet.
79-80: Upon casting, the user pulls out a propane tank and a lighter and does whatever they want with it.
81-82: Upon casting, the user is able to lather sticky glue on any surface. Any creature that steps on the glue will be stuck there.
83-84: Upon casting, the user can lather slippery oil on any surface. Any creature that steps on the oil will immediately fall prone and take 1d4 bludgeon damage if they fell.
85-86: Upon casting, the user throws down a banana peel and any creature who steps on it will slip and fall prone and deals 1d4 bludgeoning damage.
87-88: Upon casting, the user pulls out a jet pack, when using the jet pack the player must make a constitution throw with a DC of 10 and on a fail the jet pack will send user off course and go out of control. On a critical fail, the jet pack explodes and deals 3d8 fire damage in a 6 feet radius. It is important to note, the jet pack won’t allow the player to hover in the air.
89-90: Upon casting, the user is able to move incredibly fast to the point after images of the user appear and they’ll act like clones until you take damage, in which they immediately revert back into the original movie.
91-92: Upon casting, the user is able to run around the map extremely fast in quintuple their base speed, they won’t be able to attack during this state and must roll a constitution saving throw of 10, if they fail they crash into a wall dealing 2d8 bludgeoning damage to themselves. Additionally, the user creates a smoke screen around the as they run, making giving any creature in the smoke screen disadvantage in their rolls involving sight.
93-94: Upon casting, the user is able to turn into a literal human tornado and begins to spin around wildly, the user is able to reach out and grab a creature and start beating it while inside the tornado. The user bombards them with attacks that deal 10d12 bludgeoning damage.
95-96: Upon casting, the user gains a 6 random items of a bowling ball, a mirror, itching powder, a giant pair of scissors, a retractable brick wall, and a bag of marbles determined by a 1d6 roll.
97-98: Upon casting, the staff temporarily transforms into a cane that extends infinitely. This cane is able to pull enemies from extremely long distances.
99-100: Upon casting, the user gains a +20 to charisma and is able to convince or trick any creature into anything.
Proficiency with a Staff allows you to add your proficiency bonus to the attack roll for any attack you make with it.
Notes: Creation, Healing, Damage, Control, Buff, Social, Debuff, Movement, Combat, Shapechanging, Deception, Container, damage reduction, Transforming, Versatile
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