Bag of Clownery

ANVIL

When you pull out the anvil from your bag, you have until the end of your turn to use it until it becomes functionally equivalent to a normal anvil.
Using an Action to drop the anvil causes 2d8 damage for every 5 feet it falls until it collides with a creature's head. It is weightless as you carry it.

ROCKET LAUNCHER

A cartoonishly large rocket launcher is pulled from the bag. As an action, you can fire it once. After being activated, the launcher flies out of your hands in the opposite direction of the projectile and enters the stratosphere.

Range: 60ft
Damage: 4d8 fire damage

All targets within a 10ft radius must make a DC 14 DEX saving throw. Upon failure, they are knocked prone and take full damage. Upon a success, the target takes half damage.

BALLOON DOG 

A large balloon dog the size of a wolf leaps from the bag. The wolf acts immediately following your turn.

Use the wolf stat block with these changes: 
- Creature type is CONSTRUCT, not beast
- Immunity to poison damage
- Lasts for 1hr or until reduced to 0hp

REALLY COOL BALLOON HAT

While wearing this hat, you gain advantage on persuasion and performance checks. Targets of spells that have a charming effect have disadvantage on their saving throws. 

UPDRAFT UMBRELLA 

When pulled out of the bag, a strong wind bursts out of the bag, immediately launching the user 60ft straight up without provoking opportunity attacks. While the umbrella is open, you gain a fly speed equal to that of your walking speed and regular fall damage is negated. You must end your turn on a surface, or else you fall and take the proper fall damage.

BOUNCY HAMMER

A giant squeaky hammer is pulled into your hands. You may use an action to make an attack. When 2 creatures are directly next to each other, you can cause the second creature to also go flying if you hit the first creature into the second.

Range: 5ft
Damage: 2d6

The target must make a DC 12 STR save or go flying 20ft in the direction they are hit. If they hit a wall, they take an extra 1d6 damage and are knocked prone. 

NEVERENDING ROPE

This rope, made of infinite interconnected handkerchiefs, spills out of the bag at an astounding rate of 30ft per turn. There is no way to prevent the rope from spilling out of the bag, and the rope will continue to spill out until any part of it is cut. After being cut, the part still connected to the bag flies rapidly back into the bag, taking anything tangled inside of it with it. 

The user can attempt to entangle a target within the rope. Mechanically, you can select a 5ft radius spot on the map within reach of the rope and attempt to entangle all foes within the radius. The target must succeed a DC 10 STR check or be entangled. 

SONIC HORN 

This horn emits a deafening sound within a 10ft cone. All creatures in the area must make a DC 14 CON save or take 2d6 thunder damage and be deafened. On a success, the target takes half damage and is not deafened. All glass in the area shatters.

JUGGLING PINS

3 juggling pins come out of the bag. As an action, you can make 3 ranged weapon attacks. If a pin hits a target, it returns to your hands and can be used again next round as long as the user keeps juggling.

Range: 20/60ft
Damage: 1d6 magical bludgeoning damage

GIANT CLOWN SHOE

A huge spectral clown shoe appears floating above you. As an action, you can direct the shoe up to 60ft and direct it to kick either a creature or structure. 

Range: 5ft reach 
Damage: 3d8 Force damage + push the creature 15ft. 

This shoe only lasts for 1 round.

"BANG!" GUN

A small pistol appears in your hand. When fired, the gun shoots a small flag with the word "BANG!" inscribed on it. This does no physical damage. As an action, you may fire the gun at one target within range.

Range: 60ft 
Damage: 3d6 psychic damage

The target must make a DC 14 WIS save or take 3d6 psychic damage and be frightened until the end of the user's next turn. On a success, the target takes half damage and is not frightened.

CONFETTI CANNON

A full fledged cannon rolls out of the bag. This cannon fires absolute sparkly nonsense into a 20ft cone. Every creature within the 20ft cone, including the user, must succeed on a DC 14 CON save.

On a failure, the creature is blinded until the start of your next turn and covered head-to-toe in confetti/glitter. Movement speed is reduced by 10ft. 
On a success, the target is only blinded for this turn.
The magical glitter trails behind anybody affected by this for the next hour.

WHOOPIE PIES

Roll 1d4 to determine how many pies are summoned. As an action, you may throw all of the summoned pies at up to 4 different targets.

Range: 30ft 

On a hit, a target's face is covered in whipped cream and pie. They are blinded and deafened until they spend a turn wiping their face off.

WHOOPIE CUSHION

As an action, you may place/throw the whoopie cushion up to 20ft. When the whoopie cushion is triggered, a deafening fart noise is heard up to 100ft away. 
Each creature within a 10ft radius of the "explosion" must succeed a DC 12 CHA save or have disadvantage on all ability checks. This save can be repeated at the start of each turn.

CLOWN CAR

A clown car materializes. This car has room for an infinite number of willing creatures. 

The car has a movement speed of 60ft. It cannot take the dash action. In order to enter the car, a creature must expend 5ft of movement. The car has an AC of 14 and 40hp; with a 15 damage threshold. When the car drops to 0hp, every creature within it is dropped harmlessly in the surrounding space.

COMICAL GLASSES

While wearing these glasses, Creatures must succeed a DC 14 investigation check to recognize the user. You gain advantage on deception checks that have to do with being somebody else. 

This does not affect people who have been tricked by this prior.

POPPED CORN 

Functions exactly as the goodberry spell.

BAG OF MARBLES

You can dump marbles in a 10ft radius centered on yourself. The area becomes difficult terrain and a creature entering the area or starting its turn in the area must succeed a DC 13 DEX save or be knocked prone. Clowns are immune to this effect.

LARGE CIRCUS ANIMAL 

Roll 1d4 to determine which is unleashed:
1. lion
2. elephant
3. bear
4. horse
This creature lasts for 24hrs. It is friendly only to you and is unpredictable like a real wild animal. It will listen to your commands but can't really act for itself. 

You may use the bag again after summoning an animal without removing the animal from existence.

DECK OF CARD

You pull out a inconspicuous deck of cards.

This is the deck of many things. Only 1 card may be pulled by any creature.