It is a surviving pocket of a former divine realm that has somehow remained attached to reality after the fall of its original master. The entrance usually manifests as a weathered satchel whose appearance changes slightly depending on who is looking at it.
The interior does not obey the dimensions of the exterior. Attempts to determine precisely how large it is, where it exists, or whether its contents are organized have produced inconsistent results.
Unlike most artifacts associated with fallen divinity, the Bag does not require attunement and does not occupy an attunement slot.
The Bag currently contains:
A Comfortable Folding Chair. Not magical. Suspiciously comfortable.
Seventeen Pipes. Only one belongs to Alek. Alek is not certain where the others came from.
Lord Quackington. A small rubber duck. Detect Magic registers it as overwhelmingly magical. Identify returns only: “Duck.”
Potion of Probably Healing. Drinking it normally restores 4d4 + 4 hit points. Roll a d20 when consumed. On a 1, instead of healing, the drinker is affected by Polymorph. The DM determines the form.
Emergency Rock. A rock labeled EMERGENCY. No further instructions are provided.
A Sandwich of Uncertain Age. Its age cannot be determined. It is always fresh.
Three Feet of Rope. Exactly three feet.
Tiny Door. A miniature door with one use. When placed against a wall no more than 10 feet thick and opened, it creates a passage through the wall. The door then disappears.
The ******* Button. A red button labeled DO NOT PUSH. When pushed, the DM secretly rolls a d6 or determines an appropriate consequence. The effect may occur immediately or at some later point. The button then disappears.
Receipt From Somewhere That Doesn't Exist.
1 x GODHOOD
1 x CHAOS
1 x TIME
TOTAL: PAID
The bottom of the receipt has been torn away.
Emergency Exit. A single-use vial containing what appears to be a tiny glowing doorway. Breaking the vial casts Gate without requiring a spell slot or components. Alek names the intended destination. The DM determines where the Gate actually leads.
Objects placed within the Bag remain there until removed, unless the DM determines that the Bag has developed other ideas.
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