Bartley's Deck of Wonders
Wondrous item, Legendary (requires attunement by the creature who drew the cards)
This deck is housed within an ornate, velvet-lined Cartographer’s Map Case that smells faintly of ozone and caramel corn. The cards themselves are made of an indestructible, flexible material resembling polished abalone shell. When shuffled, they chime like distant wind chimes.
The Rules of the Game
Play his Game. Win a prize.
You may choose to not play this game, but what fun is that?
The character must adhere to the following rules: They must declare that they wish to pull from the Deck of Wonder. Then they must explicitly declare how many cards they intend to draw before pulling them.
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Immediate Activation: Once a card is drawn, it immediately takes effect, fades from existence, and then magically reappears back inside the deck (making it technically possible to draw the same card multiple times).
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The Penalty for Extra Draws: If a player draws more cards than the number they originally declared beforehand, any additional cards drawn beyond that declared number have no effect. Conversely, if they fail to draw up to their chosen number, the remaining cards will magically fly out of the deck on their own and force their effects all at once.
Once you draw a card, it is bound to your soul. The card cannot be traded, sold, destroyed, or gotten rid of in any way. It vanishes into an extra-dimensional space and reappears in the deck case if you try to discard it. Only you can use the abilities of the cards you drew.
To pull your cards, roll 3d20.
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The Deck Contents
1. Ace of Spades – Death’s Hand
(Adapted from The Void/Skull)
You are marked for absolute mortality. The next time you enter combat, this card automatically activates. There is no way to stop this activation.
A CR 21 Death Knight (or an Undead entity suitable for your campaign's lore) manifests instantly on the battlefield. It ignores all other creatures and focuses solely on you until one of you is slain. If you are reduced to 0 hit points by this entity, your soul is utterly destroyed and trapped within the card, beyond the reach of True Resurrection.
2. Ace of Diamonds – The Gilded Grin
(Adapted from Donjon/Rogue, with a Neep twist)
You vanish in a puff of purple smoke, imprisoned in a magnificent, extradimensional room identical to Bartley’s private wagon. It is stocked with infinite treats, wine, and carnival games, but you cannot leave by normal means.
Furthermore, Neep has placed a blessing/curse upon you. Your face constantly reflects a manic, painted clown smile. While active, you have Disadvantage on Charisma (Persuasion) checks, but Advantage on Charisma (Deception) and (Intimidation) checks. The smile fades only if you escape the room on your own.
3. Ace of Clubs – Titan’s Grip
(Adapted from Gem/Star/Strength)
The power of the Carnival strongmen fills your body. When you draw this card, your Strength score becomes 22 (unless it is already higher).
Additionally, you gain Neep’s Resilience. Once per day, when you would be reduced to 0 hit points, you drop to 1 hit point instead, and you let out an unsettling, high-pitched giggle. This effect lasts until you die.
4. Ace of Hearts – The Queen of Hearts
(Adapted from Star/Fate/Fool, with a Neep twist)
You feel a wash of profound luck and chaotic favor. When you draw this card, you immediately gain 1 "Neep Point".
As a Reaction when you make an ability check, attack roll, or saving throw, you can expend this Neep Point to either treat the roll as a Natural 20, or force an enemy within 60 feet to treat their roll as a Natural 1. You can only hold one Neep Point at a time; once used, it vanishes.
5. 10 of Spades – The Big Top
(Adapted from Throne)
You gain legal title to a significant, movable piece of property—namely, the original, massive, tattered circus tent known as "The Big Top."
Once per week, you can utter the command word, causing The Big Top and all its associated carnival wagons to manifest in an open area within 1 mile. It functions as a Mansion spell (as per the Magnificent Mansion spell) for you and your allies for 24 hours, staffed by spectral carnival workers. It then vanishes for 6 days.
6. 10 of Diamonds – The Buried Hoard
(Adapted from Gem/Rogue)
You intuitively know the location of a fantastic treasure, rumored to be the original seed money used to start Bartley’s Carnival. It lies buried in a specific location relevant to your campaign.
However, the treasure is cursed by Neep. While you are in possession of any of these coins, you cannot spend them, and you have Disadvantage on Stealth checks because the coins jingle loudly whenever you move, no matter how securely they are stored.
7. 10 of Clubs – The Menagerie
(Adapted from Knight)
You gain the service of an exotic beast or monstrosity (e.g., a Displacer Beast, Hell Hound, or Owlbear). The creature is not necessarily friendly, but it is magically compelled to protect you and obey your simple commands for 1 year and 1 day. It travels in an invisible state until called upon.
8. 10 of Hearts – The Ringmaster’s Baton
(Adapted from Vizier)
You gain the service of an unseen, incorporeal servant—the ghost of a past Ringmaster. Once during the next year, you can ask the Ringmaster a single question concerning a specific goal, event, or person.
The Ringmaster knows the answer, but because of Neep’s chaotic influence, it will only answer in riddles or by staging a brief, silent pantomime of the event using spectral illusions.
9-12. Jokers of the Suits – Neep’s Wild Cards
(Adapted from The Idiot/The Fates/The Fool)
When you draw a Joker, reality bends around you momentarily. Roll a d6 immediately:
1-2 (The Joke’s on You): Neep strips you of something vital. You permanently lose one proficiency you possessed (skill or tool) or forget one prepared spell.
3-4 (Chaos Theory): Neep alters reality slightly. Reroll one die roll made within the last hour (yours or an enemy's), applying the new result.
5-6 (Grand Finale): You gain 10,000 XP instantly, or the equivalent value in magical trinkets and carnival prizes that suddenly appear in your pockets.
13. Queen of Spades – The Fortune Teller’s Mirror
(Adapted from Moon)
You are granted 3 "Fateshard" uses. These look like small pieces of broken carnival mirrors.
As a Reaction when a creature you can see makes an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, you can expend a Fateshard to force them to reroll the die and take the lower result. The mirror shards fade into dust after use.
14. Queen of Diamonds – The Grand Prize
(Adapted from Key/Balance)
A wondrous magical item (DM's choice, perhaps fitting the carnival theme, like a Wand of Wonders or Robe of Scintillating Colors) appears in your hands.
Simultaneously, you must change your Alignment one step toward Chaotic. (If you were Lawful Good, you are now Neutral Good or Chaotic Good). If you resist this change, you cannot attune to the new item.
15. Queen of Clubs – The Crowd’s Roar
(Adapted from Throne)
You gain the favor of the masses. You gain proficiency in the Persuasion and Performance skills. If you are already proficient, you gain Expertise instead.
Additionally, you find that normal humanoid commoners will always offer you free food, drink, and lodging when you ask, provided you tell them a good story about your adventures first.
16. Queen of Hearts – Love’s Labour
(Adapted from Donjon/Talons)
You fall instantly and magically in love with the next creature of the opposite sex (or as determined by your orientation) that you speak to for more than one minute. This is a Charm effect that cannot be broken by Dispel Magic, lasting for 7 days.
Neep has cursed this love: the object of your affection is unaware of your feelings and finds your attention slightly irritating and overly dramatic. You have Advantage on rolls to protect them, but Disadvantage on rolls to impress them.
Campaign Integration Note regarding Neep
If the players keep pulling cards, Neep might eventually manifest physically at the carnival, perhaps upset that his deck is being used up, or offering them a "Double or Nothing" pull from a separate, purely cursed deck.
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