A small wooden box has "Deck of Certain Things" crudely carved into its lid. Inside you see 10 cards just waiting to be drawn.
Before you draw a card, you must declare how many cards you intend to draw and then draw them randomly (you can use a d10 to simulate the deck). Any cards drawn in excess of this number have no effect. Otherwise, as soon as you draw a card from the deck, its magic takes effect. Each card must be drawn no more than 1 hour after the previous draw. If you fail to draw the chosen number, the remaining cards fly from the deck and take effect all at once. Once a card is drawn it cannot reappear.
Once all 10 cards have been drawn, a pair of Gloves of Thievery appear in the deck box, along with a note thanking the Deck's owner for the fun.
Playing Card | Card |
---|---|
Ace of hearts | Acorn |
King of hearts | Fireworks |
Queen of hearts | Prospector |
Jack of hearts | Liar |
Two of hearts | Honey Jar |
Ace of spades | Wallflower |
King of spades | Invitation |
Queen of spades | Nightmare |
Jack of spades | Quill |
Two of spades | Infant |
Acorn. 3d8 terrified squirrels are transported to your location from elsewhere on the material plane.
Fireworks. Your weapon explodes into a shower of brightly-colored glitter. It reforms in 1 hour.
Prospector. A wooden chest containing 10,000 pieces of counterfeit gold drops at your feet. The coins show a winking jester on both sides.
Liar. For the next 1d12 hours, telling a lie causes your trousers to ignite, dealing 1d6 points of fire damage.
Honey Jar. Summons a friendly sentient bear named Sigmund, who acts as an apothecary, selling the party potions from his backpack. He vanishes after 1d20 minutes.
Wallflower. You instantly succeed on all Insight checks for 24 hours, but fail all Intimidation checks.
Invitation. An imp appears in a burst of smoke, kicks you in the shins, then vanishes.
Nightmare.All items worn on your person, with the exception of undergarments, turn invisible for 1d4 hours.
Quill. A Flameskull appears in front of you, delivers a heartfelt soliloquy, then explodes in a pillar of green flame. All creatures within 5 feet must make a Dexterity saving throw or take 2d10 fire damage.
Infant. For the next hour your voice is replaced with the shrill cries of a baby. You are unable to communicate through speech or cast spells with a verbal component.
Credit to u/astonishingantman on reddit
Notes: Utility, Consumable
One of the greatest homebrew Items ever made, hands down.
This... this is absolutely perfect for my "travelling joke-shop" NPC!
I love the one where an imp shows up and does nothing but kick you in the shins
This is hilarious!
“Invitation”
is it an invitation to fight?
This is really funny.