Space Bacon

Bacon makes everything better. But space bacon — made from prime space swine pork belly through a powerful and unknown magical process — makes everything better in a much more literal sense. Got a problem? Rub space bacon on it, and be amazed as its greasy goodness helps you slip out of even the tightest spots with ease.

When you use this item, you state the problem you wish to solve to the DM. You can then use an action to rub the bacon on the source of your problem, provided it is within your reach. An unwilling target can force you to make an attack roll to determine if you succeed. Treat the bacon as an improvised weapon with the finesse property.

When rubbed onto the source of your problem, the bacon magically solves it. The DM has great latitude in ruling how the resolution is achieved. Examples of how the bacon might solve a problem include:

• Restoring all the target's hit points.
• Ending all effects described in the greater restoration spell afflicting the target.
• Duplicating the effects of the true resurrection spell on the target.
• Duplicating the effects of the primordial ward spell on the target.
• Subjecting a hostile target to the effects calm emotions spell.
• Causing the target to experience a freak magical mishap which teleports it to a far off location or plane.

Once the bacon has been used to solve a problem, it remains edible (and exquisitely delicious), but becomes nonmagical.

Based on the 2012 song "Rub Some Bacon On It" by Rhett & Link.