among us imposter potion

So bad it's amazing how bad it is.

Now I just wanna say I'm all for people trying to learn how to write better and such, but I don't particularly like it when people pollute the homebrew section with garbage like this. I'm sorry if you're just learning but this is just absolutely horrid and quite honestly disgusting and repulsing. I advise you work on your writing skills, be it by taking courses and/or reading or maybe even a different method all together.

so right off the bat it's kind of obvious that this person has NO idea what they're doing and cannot write any good. Starting with the first sentence, there happens to be a misspelling of the word "bestow" as "besto".  It's also clear that the original poster has no clue that in the English language and in many other languages you must capitalize the first letter of a sentence. So we're not off to a stellar start, could be much worse but you definitely shouldn't've posted this. Now this is more about redundancy than grammar mistakes but on the second sentence, you had specified that you turn into an "among us impostor", whatever that may end up being, but I couldn't help but notice that in the sentence right after you decide to, very redundantly, once again tell your audiance that the potion in question turns you into an "among us impostor". Since you've already given this information in the sentence right before it is better and less wordy and more elegant to not remind the audiance of a fact that they already know. But what the third sentence does specify that is new information is that you have made a list of abilities and as the impostor, you inherent all of those. First off you put "you are small size", which is not a grammatically correct sentence, a better, more clearer, sentence would've been "you become of a small size". Next you basically say that, as the impostor, you surprise attack for the start of each battle. But this information is conveyed so poorly that I had trouble even reading what you wrote. Obviously saying "Since your surprising shape and stature, your enemies will be befuddled at such a thing, and this will grant you the ability to surprise the enemy at the start of each battle" would've been miles better. So, keep that in mind next time. Next you specify that surprised enemies take 3 more damage than usual. Assuming that you meant once per combat, which I accordingly fixed your sentence, this is really, really useless. But let's take the other path and assume that you meant that they were in a constant state of surprise and could not even attack you at any point whatsoever, if so, this little among us impostor potion of yours may need some balancing. You also misspelt enemy. After that you flimsily try to explain some of the abilities that you may happen to give to this impostor fellow, but you do it in such a bad and unhelpful manner I almost audibly laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of what you had wrote. "Cause"? seriously? You also wrote "25ft foot speed" which is a bad sentence on many levels. Firstly, you said "ft foot", which if you didn't know, ft is an abbreviation of feet/foot. Secondly, you don't specify speed in what, climbing? Swimming? Walking? It can be interpreted as speed in all of those categories due to your bad writing. You say that you can't speak and that you can only write to communicate, does that mean other forms of communication are off the table? A better way of writing this would've been "You are unable to speak, as you have no mouth, and must instead find an alternative, such as writing or body language" (yes, I did do some studying of this "impostor" and have found out it has no mouth). You also state that you can choose your color of impostor from a preselected batch of 16 colors yet you fail to specify those colors. Next you state that your sneak attack dice become d20s, which is extremely overpowered and unbalanced. Then you state that there's a 4% chance of a specific tune playing when you kill an enemy, the tune being very vague and unintelligible. You also say "a alarm" instead of "an alarm" and instead of "for 100 feet" you should write "for over 100 feet". Next, we have quite a lot of redundancies, do not re-specify that you are detransitioning. After you say "and it just sucks", you shouldn't also say "it's just the worst" as you have clearly already stated that this process is not a favorable one.

So, in conclusion, I kind of respect your effort but ultimately, your writing is without a doubt very, very bad. You have some potential to say, improve your grammar, spelling, vocabulary, clarity and balancing skills and I can see you pumping out pretty good homebrews. But other than that, this homebrew is a 1/10 for sure.

Don't do among us imposter potion, kids. It will only lead to more trauma.

Don't do among us imposter potion, kids. It will only lead to more trauma.

Best item 10/10 ignore all the haters

Quote from EarlessMimikyu >>

so right off the bat it's kind of obvious that this person has NO idea what they're doing and cannot write any good. Starting with the first sentence, there happens to be a misspelling of the word "bestow" as "besto".  It's also clear that the original poster has no clue that in the English language and in many other languages you must capitalize the first letter of a sentence.

 Yes I'm not joking. This person actually criticised the creator of the magic item for not capitalising the first letter of a sentence. And didn't. Capitalise. The first. Letter. OF THEIR OWN SENTENCE. I'm sorry but that I cannot forgive. Also, "cannot write any good" is definitely not proper English.

Quote from EarlessMimikyu >>

But what the third sentence does specify that is new information is that you have made a list of abilities and as the impostor, you inherent all of those. First off you put "you are small size", which is not a grammatically correct sentence, a better, more clearer, sentence would've been "you become of a small size". Next you basically say that, as the impostor, you surprise attack for the start of each battle. But this information is conveyed so poorly that I had trouble even reading what you wrote. Obviously saying "Since your surprising shape and stature, your enemies will be befuddled at such a thing, and this will grant you the ability to surprise the enemy at the start of each battle" would've been miles better.

 The more I read of this, the more I wonder if it's just a giant troll. But let's go into it anyway. I assume you meant "inherit" rather than "inherent", although neither word is very appropriate for the context. Talking of confusingly worded sentences, the first here is technically correct, but I had to read it about three times to get what it meant. Likewise, there are commas in the second that should be semi-colons, colons or even full stops. "Next you" should read "Next, you're". I think perhaps your "obvious" recommendation is absolutely atrociously worded too - I would have it as: "Due to your surprising shape and stature, you can befuddle your enemies at the start of a battle. When you enter combat, you can take one turn before the combat starts as long as you are not surprised." Bit of extra balancing thrown in there as well, but I don't think the base ability is objectively overpowered - this is a consumable very rare item, so it should temporarily provide legendary-level benefits.

Quote from EarlessMimikyu >>

Then you state that there's a 4% chance of a specific tune playing when you kill an enemy, the tune being very vague and unintelligible. You also say "a alarm" instead of "an alarm" and instead of "for 100 feet" you should write "for over 100 feet". Next, we have quite a lot of redundancies, do not re-specify that you are detransitioning. After you say "and it just sucks", you shouldn't also say "it's just the worst" as you have clearly already stated that this process is not a favorable one.

 Have a read of the official text of the Thunderwave. Or try Thunderclap. Alarm? Notice something? They all say they produce a sound "audible up to x feet away." You should most definitely not write "for over 100 feet" - it's probably more accurate, but it's also imprecise, and 5e needs precision!

So what can we learn from this? Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't make spelling/grammar mistakes in an enormous post "correcting" spelling and grammar mistakes. Look, I get the homebrew's not the greatest but it's actually pretty funny. By doing as you do, EarlessMimikyu, one discourages new creators from experimenting with creating homebrew. I hope you're happy.

Hi, it's the creator of the original comment, EarlessMimikyu, and I just wanted to thank you for your criticism. But I just wanted to say that I care about this an amount equal to or an amount equal to a fraction of flying pigs that exist, that being zero. XOXO <3

Signed: EarlessMimikyu

Glad to hear it. But I don't believe you. I mean, you clearly spent a good while writing a very long grammatically flawed comment about why the item was grammatically flawed. So... really, we've both wasted our time here.

Signed: divinedomain

My friend wrote the original magic item and I wrote the reply as a joke xD. I found your comment replying to mine quite amusing so thanks for the laughs xD.

You're welcome, I did grow increasingly suspicious as I was writing my post that yours might have been a troll. Oh well, I thought it was pretty funny :)

im sorry you grew increasingly WHAT!!!

Increasingly sus, if you will

SUS!!!!

incredible.