Armor (hide), very rare (requires attunement by a Must be dummy thicc and do squats with it for an hour to attune. )

The Asscheeks of Clapping is the rarest of items. It is only for the dummy thiccest, if you will. 

The holder of the cheeks gets +2 con and disadvantage on stealth checks because them cheeks be clapping when walk. 

This crude armor consists of thick furs and pelts.

Notes: Bonus: Choose an Ability Score to increase by 2, Must be dummy thicc and do squats with it for an hour to attune.

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