Baka Böku - Pie Oven

You are an oven! You shoot pies! That’s pretty cool, and totally a viable combat strategy! With this magic item, you can mow down your enemies with fresh-baked MURDER! But be warned… the creation of pies within THIS oven… is RANDOM. You heard me. You have four types of pies, and only the fates know what pastry projectiles you’ll produce.

Attack. This item functions as a 20/40 thrown weapon, which takes both hands. It is, of course, an oven — no mere thrown projectile, and as you ARE the oven, it doesn’t truly use your hands, but this description suits the oven’s function… Sufficiently.

When attacking, roll a d4. The damage type dealt by your delicious destruction depends on the number rolled.

    1: Burnt Pie (1d8 Fire)

    2: Custard Pie (1d8 Custard)

    3: Lemon Pie (1d8 Acid)

    4: Blueberry Pie (1d8 Blueberry)

When below 50% HP, roll a d6 instead. The same logic applies, but there is now a possibility of misfires due to the accumulated damage. The possible misfires are as follows:

On a 1, all creatures within 5 ft of you are zapped by an electrical discharge, and take 1d4 Lightning damage.

On a 2, you (the oven) spring an oil leak. The ground in a 15 foot radius circle centered on you becomes difficult terrain.

    1: Electric Discharge (1d4 Lightning 5ft)

    2: Oil Drip (Difficult Terrain 5ft)

    3: Burnt Pie (1d8 Fire)

    4: Custard Pie (1d8 Custard)

    5: Lemon Pie (1d8 Acid)

    6: Blueberry Pie (1d8 Blueberry)

Baking. This oven can also create healing pies, which aid your allies, and can only be used if you happen to have the inspiring leader feat, and just so happens to do the exact same thing, but OH WOW, the pies did the healing NOT THE FEAT. This oven can also be used to cook other food, as a normal oven would. Any other food cannot be magically produced, however, and no food produced normally by this oven provides any magical effects.

Big Pies. If you also happen to be able to become large, for any reason, it would also reason that you, being the oven, would in fact be an oversized weapon. That’s right… If your size increases, your pies become extra devastating, dealing one extra damage die each. As a sliiiiightly unfortunate side effect, you (the oven) happen to gain an awful convenient movement speed of 0 feet when in this enlarged form. That’s obviously a worthy trade-off, RIGHT?

Notes: You are literally this magic item. Congratulations! If you are NOT this magic item, you can obviously NOT attune to it.