Bard James's Elixir of Healing and Courage

This potion has a wonderful taste, it has strong citrus flavors and wood flavors with a touch of saltiness.  As you drink it you immediately feel a great warmth inside and a euphoric feeling comes over you, although you are a little light headed and struggle to keep you balance you feel you could do anything at this moment and succeed!  You gain an Advantage on all Charisma and Constitution saving rolls for 1 hour and a Disadvantage on all Dexterity Saving rolls for 1 hour.  You also gain 1d8 hit points for any damage you have.  Additionally for the next hour whenever you go to speak you cannot say what you want to say.  You most roll a d20 to determine what it is you say, see the table below.

1. Nibblin' on sponge cake
2. Watchin' the sun bake
3. All of those tourists covered with oil
4. Strummin' my six-string
5. On my front porch swing
6. Smell those shrimp
7. They're beginnin' to boil
8. Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
9. But I know it's nobody's fault
10. Don't know the reason
11. I stayed here all season
12. Nothin' to show but this brand new tattoo
13. But it's a real beauty
14. A Mexican cutie
15. How it got here I haven't a clue
16. Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
17. Now I think, hell, it could be my fault
18. Cut my heel had to cruise on back home
19. Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
20. But I know it’s my own damn fault

Notes: Advantage: Charisma Saving Throws, Disadvantage: Dexterity Ability Checks, Advantage: Constitution Saving Throws, Bonus: Hit Points, Potion created by Bard James the Pirate Laureate