To use the recipe, roll a d20, with your intelligence modifier added. People without proficiency in chefs tools have disadvantage, people who have proficiency don't get advantage or disadvantage, whist Chef Grumble himself has advantage. You have to have the ingredients, and the number dictates the effect.

Any Number: You gain aberrations as a favored enemy for a week, you gain the spells Mass Suggestion with one charge, and Leomund's Tiny Hut for five charges

1: You gain vulnerability to all damages for one day

10 and up: You gain immunity to psychic damage for one day, and the linguist feat for two days

15 and up: You gain 1d8+4 more intelligence for six hours, and 4d6+4 temporary hit points

20 and up: You gain the spells plane shift and time stop, each having one charge

21 and up: You gain an attack that deals 10d8+10 psychic damage for twelve hours

A recipe hastily written with a small image of a bowl with the calamari in it

Aberrant Calamari

Ingredients:

100 ML tadpole brine

6 Ultralithid tentacles

50 Grams grinded neogi chitin

10 ML blood of a star spawn (Ingested by a death kiss than removed with no harm to the death kiss) 

Steps:

1. Put the brine in a jar

2. Pickle the tentacles in a jar (before cooking)

3. Cast bonfire and take out the tentacles

4. Cook them above the bonfire for about 20 minutes

5. Deep fry them

6. Cover it in the blood

7. Add the chitin

Notes: Bonus: Temporary Hit Points, Favored Enemy: Aberrations, Feat: Linguist, Immunity: Psychic, Stacking Bonus: Intelligence Score, Vulnerability: All, Carrying Capacity: Gargantuan, Ranged Weapon Attack: Psychic