Homebrew Dire Flea Species Details

Evolution

During the last Ice Age in the Forgotten Realms, giant mammals roamed the Earth. These beasts had thick skin and hair that prevented most ectoparasites from feeding on them. One species of flea, however, evolved to gargantuan sizes in order to pierce the hides of their hosts. As the mammals developed countermeasures to the giant fleas, an evolutionary arms race ensued. The parasites eventually developed superior vision and attained sentience, using stone tools and herding some smaller beasts as livestock. These were the first dire fleas. When the Ice Age ended and the large beasts died out, the dire fleas survived by keeping domestic beasts larger than themselves for food and companionship. Now that they were capable of wearing clothing and building fires, they could live freely on the ground, maintaining a close association with their livestock at all times. The dire fleas eventually populated all habitable parts of the world, where their husbandry-based societies thrive to this day.

In terms of physical appearance, dire fleas are almost identical to their diminutive cousins, though they bear some obvious differences. Towering over other insects at about three feet tall, they are strictly bipedal, walking and leaping with their powerful legs. Dire fleas have four spindly arms with three digits each: two hooked claws and an opposable thumb. Their large eyes are white with black pupils, which change shape to express emotions in the same way humanoids would use their eyebrows. The dire fleas' mouthparts and retractable, needle-like proboscis are concealed under a serrated "jaw" that lets them cling to hosts better while biting. This jaw structure is connected to a set of chambered spiracles modified to produce different pitches with airflow, hence their capacity for speech. It is theorized that early dire fleas evolved their expressive pupils and capacity for language to improve their communication with both each other and their host mammals, and that these same traits were crucial to establishing peaceful coexistence with early humanoid civilizations (as opposed to running the risk of being skewered on a sharpened branch simply for being a gigantic, blood-sucking insect). The blunt antennae atop their heads move in emotional expression as well, in addition to granting them a decent sense of smell for their surroundings. Their exoskeletons consist of hard, chitinous plates with barbs on the forearms and shins that further improve clinging. They frequently use these as combs to groom the fur of their host mammals. Dire fleas come in a variety of shades of tan, amber, brown, and occasionally red.

Personable Parasites

Contrary to what most sentient saprophytes would assume, the dire fleas are generally quite friendly to others and care very deeply for the mammals they feed on. As parasites, they only consume the blood they need and consider the act of killing an animal for food to be taboo. Dire fleas tend to be understanding towards non-parasites for needing to kill to survive, with the exception of vampires, which are generally evil and make real parasites look bad. They get along better with parasitic animals than other races, and are often more than happy to keep stirges as companion animals. Most humanoids consider dire fleas to be either cute or terrifying. In any case, it’s better to be friendly toward the dire fleas, as they make for reliable friends and excellent trade partners. 

While dire fleas are generally docile, they will not hesitate to fight back if threatened. They are gregarious creatures, so they will react the same way towards any threat to their friends, livestock, or communities. Dire fleas are formidable in combat with their incredible agility and vicious bites. They generally avoid killing their foes, but are unlikely to hold back if a beloved friend or companion animal is killed.

Alignment

Dire fleas are socially-oriented creatures with an inherent need for kinship with friends and beasts alike. Their alignments are almost always good or neutral, and even for the few that are evil, all members of the species tend towards some degree of lawful in order to maintain their connections with others. For a chaotic dire flea, that means being there for loved ones when they need it— and being a loose cannon the rest of the time!

Culture

Dire fleas live all over the realms, but their cultures share a few key similarities. In terms of religion, dire fleas are usually quick to align with deities associated with blood, nature, and large beasts. Blood, their sole food source in adulthood, is as sacred to them as life itself. The mammals from which the dire fleas drink also provide them with fur and wool, which they eagerly use to create all sorts of comfortable clothing and blankets. Traditional "flea-woven" fabrics, often sold by traveling flea markets, are durable and intricately woven with nimble claws; these can made from just about any type of mammal fur. For two-armed races, the most basic flea-weave stitches are nearly impossible for even the most skilled woolworkers if magic is not involved.

Among human-like races, dire fleas are generally seen as either endearing or unsettling. It certainly doesn’t hurt that their doe-eyed expressions have an oddly calming effect on humanoids, similar to that of a dog’s meaningful gaze. The fleas themselves are not always sure what to think of humans, and some can't tell them apart from dwarves or elves. Due to their all-blood diet and preference for places with plenty of jumping room, dire fleas don't usually settle down for long in humanoid settlements, but they can get along just fine. The exception is halfling villages, as their open pastures and perfectly sized houses are simply perfect for the insects and their beast companions. In fact, dire fleas and halflings get along incredibly well over their shared experience as small, peaceful folks living in close-knit pastoral communities, with a shared love of the simple comforts in life. Interestingly, relics found beneath some of the oldest known halfling architectural remains indicate that halflings were the first humanoid race that dire fleas came into contact with. The earliest evidence for long-distance trade between the dire fleas and other species, however, is the existence of a flea-bred, domesticated variant of worg, which shares a common ancestry with those kept by orcs.

With their dextrous arms and incredible agility, dire fleas that travel a lot may find rewarding careers as musicians and circus performers. Dire flea circuses, a common pastime of nomadic flea populations, invite viewers of all backgrounds to watch spectacular displays of acrobatics and feats of daring that are considered fantastic even by flea standards. In fact, the only situation in which dire fleas are known to use gunpowder is to fire a particularly daring insect out of a cannon for the viewing pleasure of the crowd. Fortunately, the dire fleas are nothing if not resilient, and can recover quite well from being launched or falling great distances.

Host Mammals

Dire flea society revolves around maintaining the health and wellbeing of host mammals, which provide them with blood, fiber, and companionship. Host mammals are domesticated beasts of large or greater size, which have been selected over many generations for disease resistance, healthy blood, and no allergic response to dire flea bites. These include beasts such as cattle, elephants, riding dogs, worgs, giant bats, or any other form of giant, non-aquatic mammal. A few species of humongous birds are also kept as hosts, but this is less common, as birds were not domesticated by dire fleas until later in their history, and it isn't uncommon for dire fleas to have ornithophobia. They are still insects, after all.

Dire fleas can live in all sorts of environments, so their communities typically form around the husbandry of a few species that can thrive in the given climate. Whether a dire flea community is sedentary or nomadic depends on the needs of their host species. For instance, fleas that feed from giant wolves or squirrels will stay in the same village year-round, while those that live with migratory creatures like bison or elk will go wherever the most food is available for their hosts in different seasons. Some dire fleas even hibernate or estivate; when a dire flea drinks blood from a host in a seasonal state of torpor, such as a bear or hedgehog, the flea's body responds to chemical signals in the host's blood, allowing the flea to enter a long state of torpor as well, drinking only occasionally until the host's blood indicates when it is time to be active again. Regardless of lifestyle, dire fleas are never far from very large, warm-blooded beasts. Many dire flea adventurers bring a beloved companion beast from home along with them. Anyone who threatens this mount is likely to receive a nasty bite from its small handler.

When a domestic beast dies, dire fleas will hold a brief but solemn funeral for it, after which they will drain all its blood. The blood of the dead is boiled down into blood sausage, which can be directly fed to larvae or dissolved in boiling water for a convenient, shelf-stable ration of blood soup. The rest of the animal's body is used for fiber, skin, and bone, and its meat is fed to larvae, carnivores, and scavengers. Meat is of no interest to adult dire fleas, who are only capable of consuming and digesting blood.

Leaps and Bounds

With their powerful hindlegs, dire fleas can leap over great distances quickly. When using mounts, dire fleas may travel alone or band together to herd animals. Group travel also permits the formation of merchant caravans and traveling circuses, which are important sources of economic and cultural exchange for dire flea society.

A dire flea may be driven to adventure by a travel-based career as an artisan or a circus performer. Others may simply be looking for a change of setting for themselves or their animal companions. Those with more religious backgrounds may seek a call to help others as followers of blood deities. 

Dire Flea Names

Dire fleas have given names and family names. Their given names are usually taken from a favorite species of mammal, a thorny plant, or a fur-based textile. Dire flea surnames can come from any language due to their cosmopolitan nature, but many relate to fleas or fiber arts in some way.

Given Names: Bodkin, Mastiff, Dormouse, Oryx, Squirrel, Badger, Pipistrelle, Spinner, Barb, Pika, Ibex, Ferret, Ermine, Scratcher, Aran, Ratter, Fox, Mongoose, Yak, Mink, Bramble, Furze, Teasel, Rose, Burr

Family Names: Beasthopper, Needlefelter, Syringer, Bloodletter, Bristlefang, Chupacabra, Siphonapolous, Sanguini, Thistlejaw, Ermine, Balaclava, Pilosi, Milliner, Angora, Cashmere, Merino, Cardigan, Fleececomber

Dire Flea Traits

The biology of dire fleas grant them a wide range of useful abilities.

Endotherm Empathy

You have Proficiency in Animal Handling.

Age and Life Stages

The average Dire Flea can live up to 60 years if healthy. Larvae hatch from eggs and resemble large, white grubs with cutting mandibles, stubby limbs, and googly-looking eyes. At age 2, larvae build cocoons and undergo metamorphosis, emerging two months later into the childlike nymph stage. The nymph molts once a year as they grow, becoming an adult dire flea after the third molt at five years of age.

Size Dimorphism

Dire fleas exhibit size dimorphism in that females of the species are always taller than males, sometimes by as much as a foot. Average height is 3'6" in females and 2'5" in males. Your size is Small.

Speed

Your base walking speed is 25 feet.

Siphoning Needle

Bite

For an unarmed strike, a dire flea can use their needle-like proboscis to bite an unarmored opponent for piercing damage of 1d4 plus the strength modifier.

Blood Meal 

If a dire flea has at least two free hands, they can grapple onto a medium sized or larger opponent and inflict a stronger bite to drink its blood. In a successful Blood Meal bite, the flea gains advantage, consumes a free ration, and can follow the bite attack with a single melee attack from their other hands. The victim of the bite takes 1d4 piercing damage (plus the strength modifier) and gains disadvantage, becoming extremely itchy.

Four-Armed Defense

If an opponent attempts a melee attack on a dire flea and misses, the dire flea may counter with a bonus attack. This does not work with heavy weapons, which the flea can only wield by using all four hands at once.

Spring Loaded

You can jump up to 30 feet high in a single leap while covering up to 20 feet of horizontal distance.

Languages

You can speak, read, and write Common and one other language of your choice. Dire Fleas are a cosmopolitan species, so they don’t share any specific language other than common. An individual’s secondary language depends on what is common in their home region. Regardless of language, Dire Flea speech is distinctly punctuated with clicks and chirps.