Homebrew Crotch Goblin Species Details

Found wherever mortals dare to reproduce, Crotch Goblins quickly establish dominance in their territory with shrieks, giggles, and mysterious fluids. Though fragile, their charisma and charm often grant them powerful familiars known as Parents, who willingly serve their every need despite frequent exhaustion checks.

Languages : You can understand Common, but you can only speak Proto-Goblin — a language composed of squeals, babbles, and inexplicable shrieks. It can communicate any emotion perfectly, but no logic whatsoever.

Ability Score Increase: Your Constitution increases by +2, and your Charisma increases by +1. (Everyone loves a Crotch Goblin, even when they shouldn’t.)

Age: Crotch Goblins are technically newborns, but age is measured not in years — rather, in sleepless nights survived by nearby 

Size: Tiny. Roughly 1–2 feet tall and weighing between 5 and 10 pounds, though this can double instantly after a feeding.

Speed: Your base crawling speed is 5 feet. You cannot take the Dash action until “leveling up” (about 12–18 months).

 Alignment: Almost always Chaotic Neutral. Rarely evil, but often loud enough to be mistaken for it.

Crotch Goblin Traits

Capabilities

Ear-Piercing Wail (3/day).

As an action, unleash a cry so loud and emotionally charged that all creatures within 30 feet must succeed on a DC 13 Wisdom saving throw or suffer disadvantage on concentration checks for 1 minute. The sound also instantly summons at least one Parent familiar.

Uncontrollable Cuteness.

You have advantage on all Charisma (Persuasion) checks against creatures with the Parental Instinct trait (read: anyone over 20 years old).

Nap of Power.

Once per long rest, you can fall asleep in any position or environment, regaining all lost hit points. Your allies must make a DC 15 Stealth check to avoid waking you prematurely.

Tiny Terror.

You can attempt to grapple a creature up to two size categories larger than you, provided they are emotionally attached to you. On a success, you occupy their torso or shoulders until removed.

Vocal Somatic Components.

You cannot cast spells, but any noise you make counts as verbal components for Calm Emotions, Alarm, or Power Word: Screech at the DM’s discretion.