Homebrew Untitled Goose Species Details

Sequestered in high mountains atop tall trees, the Untitled Goose evokes fear and wonder. Many Untitled Geese aren’t even native to the Material Plane. They hail from a world beyond — from the boundless vistas of the Elemental Plane of Bastardry.

They are agents of chaos, their outposts functioning as footholds in a world both strange and alien.

Beak and Feather

From afar, Untitled Geese look much like benevolent birds. Only when they approach to steal your shit or wreak havoc across the land does their true appearance reveal itself. Standing upright, an Untitled Goose might reach 1.5 feet tall, and they have long, narrow legs that flare to majestic flippies. Feathers cover their bodies.

Avian Mannerisms

The resemblance of Untitled Geese to benevolent birds isn’t limited to physical features. Untitled Geese display many of the same mannerisms as ordinary birds. They are fastidious about their plumage, frequently tending their feathers, cleaning and scratching away any evidence of their sins.

Untitled Geese's speech consists entirely of ungodly honks, sounds they use to convey emphasis and to shade meaning, much as a human might through facial expressions and gestures. An Untitled Goose might become frustrated with people who fail to pick up on the nuances; an Untitled Goose's threat might be taken as a jest and vice versa.

The idea of ownership baffles most Untitled Geese. After all, isn't it only by dismantling notions of private property and redistributing all material wealth that the revolution can  truly begin? Even when explained to them, they find the notion of ownership mystifying. As a result, Untitled Geese will be a nuisance to the bourgeoisie as they emerge from the shadows to snatch prized possessions or plunder market stalls for fruits and grains. Shiny, glittering objects catch their eyes.

They find it hard not to pluck the treasure and bring it back to their settlement to beautify it. Even an Untitled Goose who spends years among other races will never learn to inhibit these impulses.

Confinement terrifies the Untitled Goose. To be trapped underground, imprisoned by the cold, unyielding earth, or otherwise prevented from pursuing their bastardly dreams is a torment few Untitled Geese can withstand. Even when perched atop their hordes of reappropriated goods, they appear alert, with eyes moving and bodies ready to commit crimes.

Great Purpose

Untitled Geese enjoy peace and solitude. Most of them have little interest in dealing with other peoples and less interest in spending time obeying the law. For this reason, it takes an exceptional circumstance for an Untitled Goose to leave his or her life of Bastardry and undertake the adventurer’s life.

Untitled Goose Names

They are Nameless.

 

UNTITLED GOOSE BACKGROUNDS

Backgrounds that are most appropriate for Untitled Geese include criminal/spy and folk hero.

Untitled Goose Traits

As an Untitled Goose, you have certain traits in common with your people. You are an agent of chaos and a Bastard.

Ability Score Increase

Your Dexterity score increases by 2, and your Intelligence score increases by 1.

Age

Untitled Geese reach maturity by age 3. Compared to humans, Untitled Geese don’t usually live longer than 30 years.

Alignment

Most Untitled Geese are evil, but all are invariably chaotic.

Languages

You can honk.

Size

Untitled Geese are about 1.5 feet tall. They have thin, lightweight bodies that weigh between 1 and 8 pounds. Your size is Tiny.

Speed

Your base walking speed is 25 feet.

Swimming

You have a swimming speed of 50 feet. To use this speed, you can’t be wearing medium or heavy armor.