Homebrew Chad Species Details

These were the stories of a restless people who long ago took to the seas and rivers in longboats, first to pillage and terrorize, then to settle. Yet there was an energy, a love of adventure, that sang from every page. Long into the night Liriel read, lighting candle after precious candle.

She’d never given much thought to Chads, but these stories fascinated her. In these yellowed pages were tales of bold heroes, epic ragers, mighty fraternal gods, and a magic known as "chugging" that was part and fabric of that distant land.

— Elaine Cunningham, Daughter of the Drow

In the reckonings of most worlds, Chads are the youngest of the common races, late to arrive on the world scene and short-lived in comparison to dwarves, elves, and dragons. Perhaps it is because of their shorter lives that they strive to achieve as much as they can in the years they are given (a mentality known simply as "YOLO"). Or maybe they feel they have something to prove to the elder races, and that’s why they build their mighty empires on the foundation of conquest and trade. Whatever drives them, Chads are the jocks, the trust fund kids, and the glistening conquerors of the worlds.

A Broad Spectrum

With their penchant for migration and conquest, Chads are less physically diverse than other common races. Chads are largely uniform in appearance, with an average height of 6' 5" and a powerful, muscular, build. Chad skin shades range from deeply bronzed to sunkissed with freckles, and hair colors from black to blond (curly, kinky, or straight); males sport facial hair that is thick, and often thick yet cropped close to the face, accentuating their prominent jawlines. Chads reach adulthood in their late teens and rarely live even a single century, with most of their lives coming to an end in their late 40s due to a powerful frat culture.

Variety in All Things

Chads are the least adaptable, yet most ambitious, people among the common races. They have narrowly varying tastes, morals, and customs in spite of the many different lands where they have settled. When they settle, though, they stay: they build fraternities to last for the ages, and dionysian house parties that can persist for long centuries. An individual Chad might have a relatively short life span, but a Chad nation or culture preserves traditions with origins far beyond the reach of any single Chad's memory. They live fully in the present—making them well suited to the adventuring life—but also plan (albeit poorly) for the future, striving to leave a lasting beer-pong legacy. Individually and as a group, Chads are inflexible opportunists, oblivious to changing political and social dynamics.

EVERYONE'S SECOND-BEST FRIENDS

Just as readily as they mix with each other, Chads mingle with members of other races at least at a surface level. They get along with almost everyone, though they might not be close to many. Chads serve as ambassadors, enforcers, and event coordinators above all. To Chads, life is a party, and they will ensure that all present are having a good time -- by force if needed.

Dwarves. “HAH, little legs. Strong though, and epic at doing keg-stands”

Elves. “Nerds. Kinda *****, too. The chicks are mad hot though.”

Halflings. “Just call them all 'Frodo', it's easier that way. They always bring the best snacks, too.”

Lasting Institutions

Where a single elf or dwarf might take on the responsibility of guarding a special location or a powerful secret, Chads found sacred orders and frat houses for such purposes. While dwarf clans and halfling elders pass on the ancient traditions to each new generation, Chads fix their traditions in the bedrock of history. Many Chads dream of true immortality, but (except for those few who seek undeath or divine ascension to escape death’s clutches) they achieve it by ensuring that they will be remembered when they are gone.

Although some Chads can be xenophobic, in general their societies are inclusive. Chad lands welcome large numbers of non-Chads compared to the proportion of Chads who live in non-Chad lands.

Exemplars of Ambition

Chads who seek adventure are the most daring and ambitious members of a daring and ambitious race. They seek to earn glory in the eyes of their fellows by amassing power, wealth, and fame. More than other people, Chads champion causes rather than territories or groups.

Chad Names and Physical Traits

Chads are among the least ethnically and genetically varied races within and beyond the Forgotten Realms. Standing uniformly 6'5" tall all Chads are born with, and continue throughout life to cultivate, a powerful and muscular build. Over many generations their biology has evolved and adapted to accentuate these traits; as such, their sweat glands produce more oil than most humanoid races, resulting in a perpetual sheen to their rippling muscles. In turn, many turn to the barbarian lifestyle, where they may take full advantage of this trait to bare their chests at any and all adversity. Though lacking in intelligence, Chads are not only physical powerhouses, but surprisingly charming -- this, coupled with their odd and uncanny luck, has led many to lives as diplomats and bards as well. Lastly, Chads take great pride in their race's name, and will generally incorporate it in some way into their individual names; an example of this naming convention could be: Kyle Chaddington.

Chad Traits

It’s hard not to make generalizations about Chads, and your Chad character has these traits.

SHOTS!

Raising a small ale-horn to the air, you shout, "SHOTS!". All who hear this, out of a sense of either duty or peer-pressure, feel compelled to follow your lead.

Once per long rest, you raise your small ale-horn to the air. All creatures within 40ft of you must make a wisdom saving throw (DC10+CHA) at the beginning of each of their turns. On a failure, they take one shot per turn, making a constitution save after each shot (DC8+your level, increasing by 2 with each failure). After three failures, the creature becomes poisoned after which each subsequent failure deals 1d6+x poison damage, where x equals the amount of failed CON saves. This deals non-lethal damage; if a creature is reduced to 0 hit points, they are rendered unconscious until either they are damaged or combat ends. If the creature is woken up, they stabilize with 1HP.

Friendly creatures are granted advantage on their wisdom saving throws.

 

BRUH!

Having seen something exciting, pleasant, or surprising, you shout "BRUH!" at your compatriot. This simple syllable may not seem like much to some, but to any who know a Chad it is among the highest of praise

Once per short rest, you can choose a creature you can see. Shout, "BRUH!" at them, granting them a bonus (your charisma modifier) to an attack, save, or ability check on their next turn.

...biiiIIIITCH!

Be they attacker, friend, or neutral party, nearly no one can leave being called a ***** by a Chad unanswered.

Once per long rest, as a bonus action, target one creature you can see and call them a *****. The target must make a successful charisma save (DC10+CHA), or target you on their next turn. If the target fails their save by 10 or more, they become irrationally angry and swing violently; this attack deals double damage, but is made with disadvantage.

Ability Score Increase

 Your ability scores each increase by 1.

Age

Chads reach adulthood in their late teens and live less than a century.

Alignment

Chads tend toward no particular alignment. The best and the worst are found among them.

Size

Chads are nearly uniform in height and build, standing 6'5" tall with a muscular build; your size is Medium.

Speed

Your base walking speed is 30 feet.

Languages

You can speak, read, and write Common and one extra language of your choice. Chads typically learn the languages of other peoples they deal with, including obscure dialects. They are fond of sprinkling their speech with words borrowed from other tongues: Orc curses, Elvish musical expressions, Dwarvish military phrases, and so on.