Benevolent Snark

You have managed to turn your natural snark into a force that can either harm enemies or heal allies.
Choose one of the following effects:
Calling Out
Choose one creature within range that can hear you and shares at least one language with you. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your Spell Save DC or take 2d4 psychic damage, half as much on a successful save.
Empowering Sass
Choose one creature within range that can hear you and shares at least one language with you. The creature must succeed on a DC 12 Wisdom saving throw, regaining a number of hit points equal to 2d4 + your spellcasting modifier on a successful save. On a failed save the target has disadvantage on its next ability check, attack or saving throw until the end of its next turn as they ponder the meaning of your insult.

At Higher Levels:
When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing and damage increases by 1d4 for every slot level above 1st.