Choose a humanoid in range. After hip-thrusting or making a suggestive gesture roll a d12 and add your spell attack bonus, a number of animated penises equal to the roll appear from the point of the somatic expression and fly towards the target. The target must then make a DEXTERITY and WISDOM saving throw or take 2d6 bludgeoning damage and 1d12 psychic damage as the projectiles hit, the respective damage is halved if they succeed on their saving throws. The spell lasts until each penis attacks with one attacking per round or until dispelled. The projectiles attach themselves to the target's clothing and can be easily removed and discarded, but disappear after 1 hour. They will look like the jacket from Last One Laughing.
At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 and 1d12 for each slot level above 4th.
* - (A page from Paladins Unarmored: Oath-breaker 7th Edition, used as template for summoned objects)