Better Oneself

What is the point of all life (and some undeath)? It is to better oneself.

To cast the spell the caster must first spend 10 hours in quiet, uninterrupted meditation, while reflecting on himself/herself/themself and his/hers/their flaws, vices and shortcomings and sitting on the floor. While meditating, the caster must repeat this mantra every ten seconds: "The goal of all life is the betterment of the self" while holding a magical focus with a hand (if they have none, with both feet, if they have no hands and less than two feet, with their mouths), and having in front of him/her/them (within 1 foot of the caster) a porcelain bowl full with at least 10 pounds of fish and 12 gold pieces inside. At the end of the meditation, the caster may set down his/her/their magical focus and must set fire to the contents of the bowl (by any means of their preference) and eat them within 10 minutes. The process is deeply painful, and any caster with a wisdom score of 12 or less and/or a constitution score of 10 or less must make a successful survival (wisdom) saving throw or lose 50 hit points in fire damage (4 of the lost hit points are lost permanently) and fail the casting, losing the spell slot and gaining nothing from attempting to cast the spell. This fire damage ignores resistances and treats immunities as resistances. If the caster has both a wisdom score of 12 or lower and a constitution score of 10 or lower then the saving throw is made at disadvantage. Note that any character not immune to poison will be considered poisoned for the next 10 days, suffering 1d4 hit points in poison damage each day for 2d4 days each 24 hours after the failed casting.

If the caster casts the spell successfully all wounds incured in the process of casting the spell heal themselves instantaneously, and the contents of the bowl vanish, and the caster may give himself/herself/themself (and no other) two of the following benefits permanently (they may also choose the same choice twice):

1) +1 attribute point, to be added to the attribute of the caster's choice (attributes improved this way may be improved beyond maximum attribute scores ad infinitum);

2) or +2 proficiencies in any combination of skills and equipment of the caster's choice (including armor, martial weapons, simple weapons and musical instruments) that the caster isn't already proficient in;

3) or +2 expertises (expertise = double proficiency) in any combination of skills and equipment of the caster's choice (including armor, martial weapons, simple weapons and musical instruments) that the caster is already proficient in;

4) or +1 to proficiency bonus;

5) or +10 maximum and current hit points.

Note that if the caster has half proficiency in any skill/equipment and decide to take the 2nd option they gain advantage permanently to all rolls related to the skill/equipment they chose to become proficient in where the proficiency applies.

This spell can only be cast by the same caster once every 30 days. If this spell is cast at level 5, this spell takes only 5 hours of meditation to cast and can be cast once again after 25 days, if cast at level 6, it takes 2 hours and 30 minutes of meditation to cast and can be cast once again after 20 days, if cast at level 7, it takes 1 hour and 15 minutes of meditation to cast and can be cast once again after 15 days, if cast at level 8, it takes 25 minutes of meditation to cast and can be cast again after 10 days, and if cast at level 9, it takes 5 minutes of meditation to cast and can be cast again after 5 days. If cast at any epic level, it takes 1 action to cast and can be cast again after 10 hours. Per each spell level above 4, the spell costs less 1 gold piece and less half a pound of fish. Whenever the spell is cast at a level higher than 4 that is not epic the contents of the bowl must still be eaten within 10 minutes of the end of the meditation. At epic levels, the spell requires no vocal, somatic or material components, excepting the magical focus, which the caster must be holding for the spell to succeed. The magical focus is always required, even if the spell is cast as an epic spell by a greater deity of magic with 100 levels in magic casting classes.

If anyone attempts to cast this spell without the required components, they suffer 10d10 force damage for their stupidity/ignorance. This damage ignores resistances and treats immunities as resistances.