The Silliest Goose
Cantrip
School: Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S, M (a single goose feather)
Duration: 1 minute
Description
You summon The Silliest Goose, a tiny but highly intelligent spectral goose whose sole purpose is to be as inconvenient as possible. It appears in an unoccupied space within range and follows you—or doesn’t—depending on what will cause the most chaos.
You may issue verbal commands to the goose, but instead of following them correctly or doing the opposite, it chooses the most inconvenient response possible. Tell it to stay? It follows just close enough to trip you. Ask it to fetch something? It grabs everything except what you wanted. Tell it to attack? It honks loudly, drawing every enemy’s attention to you.
The Silliest Goose has the following stats:
- AC: 6
- HP: 1
- Speed: 10 ft., Fly 20 ft. (but only when inconvenient)
- STR: 6 (-2)
- DEX: 6 (-2)
- CON: 6 (-2)
- INT: 13 (+1) (It knows exactly what it’s doing.)
- WIS: 6 (-2)
- CHA: 6 (-2)
Actions
- Ineffectual Peck. Melee Weapon Attack: -3 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. On a hit, it deals 1 point of emotional damage because the goose makes unsettling eye contact while attacking.
- HONK (Bonus Action). The goose lets out an ear-splitting HONK at an enemy, ally, or object of its choosing (never the one you want). The target must succeed on a DC 10 Wisdom saving throw or be mildly startled, giving them disadvantage on their next attack roll.