With a touch, you teleport yourself and a creature to a harmless demiplane consisting of a park bench, dentist's waiting room, or the like. The target makes a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC plus your level. On a failure, the target takes 100d4 Psychic damage. All of the d4s must be rolled separately, and nobody else but you in real life can roll the dice. However, play outside of the demiplane continues as normal. If this rule is violated, the spell fails. If the spell fails or the target succeeds against the saving throw, both of you are ejected out of the demiplane in a random direction, landing Prone. If a creature would be reduced to 0 Hit Points by this spell, the creature takes no damage. Instead, the caster is ejected out of the demiplane, and the creature stays, now infinitely shackled to the seat it sat on. It has the Restrained condition, and the condition cannot be removed by any means. The caster's stopwatch turns into a key with a large button on it. When the button is pressed, you are teleported inside the demiplane if you are outside of it, and teleported outside the demiplane if you are inside it. The key can also unlock the shackles restraining the target to the seat. If the shackles are unlocked, the key turns into dust, and both you and the target are ejected out of the demiplane as it combusts into nothing.

"So anyways, about me. . . I'm a 35-year-old Gemini Tiefling bard, College of Lore if you ask, and my name is Aabobby because my parents hated me and just wanted to abuse DNDBeyond's letter-based system, which is soooo stupid. I don't even know what that is! But anyway, I'm just talking about myself and burning time here in this waiting room. How about you, demilich?"

-Aabobby's Wise Words on this specific spell