Truer Truest True Strike of Truly Truthful Truthfulness

This spell must not be done on a Thursday or it will destroy existence. You point a finger at a target in range while reciting the third to last play performed on a Wednesday you saw backwards in abyssal, standing on one leg and feeling a craving for apple cider, while surrounded by 200,000 gold pieces, 29 of your closest allies, and 10 legendary magic items. Hop off of the chair in a forward handspring making sure that you continue to point at the target. You and everyone else then must perform a hearty jig while singing the entirety of the Mama Mia! soundtrack and the Mama Mia! Here We Go Again soundtrack if you want to all while still pointing at the target. Then get a fishing rod and catch three giant smallmouth bass in a row while continuing to point at the target.

If you do not do these objectives in that order within the five hour mark or if you or the target moves out of range the spell will fail.

Keep pointing at the target and poke the target five times with the opposite hand without touching the target with your pointing hand. Swallow a young boy's pet goldfish named Dave in front of him and then kick the boy while doing a summersault in a jester costume while cancaning, continuing to point at your target. The boy must be below the age of 12 and older than 4 and a human. Write out all the works of William Shakespear except you must fix all of the spelling mistakes, then translate them into old English, and eat both the copies and the translation, be sure to keep pointing at your target. Discover and destroy the cure for cancer five times then take your research to the top medical institutions and frame them to look like they were the ones who destroyed the research and win the Pulitzer prize for journalism before your scam gets outed so you hide in Albania as a goat for the next two years before it all blows over and so you change your name to Joe Sanchez in order to blend back into society all while pointing at your target. Finally, juggle 18 naked grandmas while doing backflips while riding a rollercoaster in a volcano on a lava planet with no legs or arms, continuing to point at your target.

Once this is done, flip 5 coins. If any but the third and fifth come up heads the spell fails, if either the third and fifth come up tails the spell fails. 

Your magic grants you unholy, inconceivable insight that mere words could not hope to describe into the target's defenses. On your next turn, you have advantage on one attack roll against the target, if the number is below 15, treat it as if you rolled a 15. This spell immediately consumes all of the gold, magic items, and souls of you and your closest allies once cast. All allies and you are immediately killed on the turn the spell is cast and are not able to be brought back by any means including a wish spell. Thursdays no longer exist either but they can be brought back with a wish spell.