Conjurer's Identify

You choose one object or creature that you must stare at throughout the casting of the spell. As you finish casting the spell, you summon the eternal spirit of Mordecai Bootswater in an empty space within 30 feet.  Mordecai is immune to all forms of damage, and will take no action or answer any questions other than what is covered by this spell.

If the object you stared at is a magic item or some other magic-imbued object, Mordecai gives a brief lecture on its properties and how to use them, whether it requires attunement to use, and how many charges it has, if any.  If the item was created by a spell he will tell you which spell created it.  You may choose whether or not others can see and hear Mordecai, and if others can hear him you may choose which language he is speaking.

For both objects and creatures, he will also explain whether any spells are affecting them and what they are, as well as letting you know what countermeasures (dispell magic / remove curse / greater restoration / etc.) would remove that magical effect.  Note that many curses are made to be undetectable.

As soon as his lecture is over, Mordecai will vanish.