College of Dad Jokes

There is a time-honored tradition amongst patriarchs to default to the majesty of the pun.  These proponents tend to be mildly frustrating, weirdly endearing, and mostly harmless.  However, amongst practitioners of the dreaded "dad joke," there are those who take it to the next level.  Not content to let well enough alone, they remind you that justice is a dish best served cold, that if it were served warm it would be justwater.  They will tell you that clerics aren't the only people who can make holy water, anyone can.  It's easy, you just boil the hell out of it.  These dad bards will weaponize cringe to throw enemies off their game and send BBEGs running with their tails tucked by simply telling them "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."

Beware the bard with the dad bod!

Cringe-spiration

Choose one enemy that can hear you, you may expend one use of your bardic inspiration to make them cringe. They do not need to understand you to know that you are embarrassing your current or future offspring.  This creature must make a CHA saving throw against your spell save DC.  Upon a failed save, they use their reaction to cringe and take 1d6 psychic damage.  On a successful save, the creature takes half damage and does not cringe.

The psychic damage increases when you reach certain levels in this class, increasing to 2d6 at 5th level, 4d6 at 10th level, and 6d6 at 15th level.

Not Mad, Just Disapointed

If you speak to a humanoid alone for at least 1 minute, you can attempt to override its well-developed maturity and sense of self. At the end of the conversation, the target must succeed on a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC or become friendly towards you or another creature of your choice. The target behaves as though it is under the spell Friends for 1 hour, until it is attacked or damaged, or until it witnesses its allies being attacked or damaged.

If the target succeeds on its saving throw, the target has no hint that you tried to charm it.

Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

Dad Bod

As a bonus action, you call on the power of the dad bod. For one hour, your flabby, squishy bard body is empowered by the strength of your forefathers. During this time, you gain +4 to your Strength Score and have advantage on all strength checks and strength saving throws.

Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

So Bad It's Good

You may now affect two creatures with one cringe-spiration.  Each creature takes the aforementioned psychic damage (or half on a successful save).  On a failed save, they lose their reaction and have disadvantage on their next attack, ability check, or saving throw.